SOCIAL PRESSURE

I hate the “get out of your comfort zone” sentiment because firstly fuck you for assuming everyone has a comfort zone, it’s an idea created in comfortable and privileged environment and cannot apply to survival type lives, I am trying to keep myself in the zone of “discomfort I can survive” and only other zone I can go to is “discomfort that will make me suicidal in 10 seconds or less” and i’m not risking my life for that shit, secondly it’s implying that already overwhelmed people don’t have the right to feel comfortable, and if they work towards feeling comfortable they’re doing the wrong thing, and it’s been enough of that, all of you, every person on this planet has the right to feel comfortable, and should work towards that first, and god knows if i ever find a place i feel comfortable in i will never ever leave

A male does not have to be masculine, nor a female feminine. We don’t all have to wear baby pink or dark blue. So what if you’re not obsessed with cars, or doing your nails every single night. Having a certain set of genes does not mean you have to be a certain way. Be who you are, and do what ever genuinely feels comfortable to you.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
Important Warning Please Read and Share

So Scientology has recently been purchasing ad spots on social media sites including Twitter and Facebook. Scientology has always worked hard to recruit young people it seems like they’re investing in social media as well now. I know most people think Scientology is a joke but it’s a seriously dangerous cult which uses fear, extortion, violence, vandalism and various other unethical actions against those who oppose them both inside and outside the church. Here is key information on the abuses committed by Scientology: 

•Scientology uses a form of pseudo-therapy called auditing which focuses largely on embarrassing and traumatic memories. Scientology collects the information you share and uses that information to threaten you if you oppose the church. They also charge huge amounts of money for auditing sessions (which is why they really are doing all this).

 •They are extremely anti-psychology and psychiatry and pressure you against taking any antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication or any other drugs for mental health.

 •They believe homosexuality can be “cured” and are blatantly homophobic. •Enemies of the church are labeled “suppressive persons” and it is forbidden to communicate with such people. This isn’t just to limit the negative press they receive but also is a manipulative tool. If you are in the cult and decide to leave or criticize the church you stand the risk of being completely cut off from your friends and family. “Suppressive Persons” are often also harassed, stalked, or threatened. 

•If you’re new to Scientology and your family or friends are worried about you being in a cult you’re instructed to cut them out of your life, increasing your reliance on the support system (though there’s nothing supportive about it) the church give to you. 

•Scientology’s doctrine includes the concept of “Fair Game”. This basically says that those who are judged a threat to the Church can be punished and harassed by any and all means possible.

 •Because of this, they have no moral qualms about having their members lie in court which they use to defend themselves from lawsuits or charges that they’ve broken the law and also to help win lawsuits against their enemies. •They essentially spied on and stole information from the IRS and tried to frame the mayor of Clearwater Florida for a hit and run. 

•Scientology filed 50 different lawsuits in one year against the Cult Awareness Network, an anti-cult organization. Using false testimony they won one of the suits and because the organization couldn’t pay the fine Scientology took the organizations name and logo so if you were calling to get out of Scientology you’d be unknowingly telling Scientology of your intentions. (For full transparency my mom was a member of the Cult Awareness Network before it was taken over and was sued individually by the Church of Scientology) 

•Scientology has an official branch known as the Sea Org, a mixture between a paramilitary group and slavery, comprised of their most dedicated members including many children/teens who’ve been raised in Scientology. This is where some of the most rampant and terrifying abuse in Scientology occurs. 

•Sea Org members often work over 100 hours a week for Scientology for around 2$ per hour.

 •Sea Org member’s living conditions are terrible; they live in overcrowded communal rooms with up to 12 other people, are not given healthcare unless there is a free clinic in the area, often are forced to miss meals or sleep in order to successfully completed their work. 

•Several former Sea Org members have accused the church of physical abuse. •Sea Org members may not have children and women who have become pregnant have reportedly been forced/coerced by their higher-ups to have abortions. 

•Leaving Sea Org without permission automatically makes you a suppressive person, so young adults who’ve been raised in Scientology who want to leave are cut off from everyone they’ve ever known with no money or job and getting permission to leave can require 3 years of hard labor, social isolation, and group pressure.

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.

YOU ARE NOT A FAKE FAN FOR BEING BUSY. Some of us study full time. Some of us work full time. Some of us don’t have a lot of data or wifi. Some of us can’t cope with the pressure of social media. But @taylorswift loves YOU. And she will never ever doubt you.

10

James, a deeply feeling man who began his working life as an auxiliary psychiatric nurse, shakes his head.

Many of the younger people who present at gender clinics have a history of mental health issues such as self-harming, social anxiety, eating disorders and so on. They see transitioning as their panacea.’

In addition, James says that the proportion of people attending gender clinics who are on the autistic spectrum is approximately six times higher than the general population.

‘The activist line is, 'Oh that’s because they’re trans so if they weren’t discriminated against and could just be themselves and transition they wouldn’t have mental health issues.’ That’s far too simplistic. I wanted to try to find the truth.’

In November 2015, James submitted his first proposed Masters Research title, 'An examination of the experiences of people who have undergone reverse gender reassignment surgery’, which was accepted.

'I had some people contacting me who said, 'Yes we’ve reversed our gender reassignment, but we’re so traumatised we don’t want to talk about it.’ It made me realise how very important the research is.

'Then a group of young women in the U.S. contacted me. They’d transitioned from female to male, had double mastectomies, then re-transitioned back to female.

'They’d stopped the hormone treatment that had been suppressing their menstrual cycles, but didn’t want reconstructive surgery to rebuild their breasts.

'I wanted to include them in my research, particularly as some of the women said they thought their original decision to transition to male had come from social and political pressure, not for psychological reasons.’

He submitted a revised title in October 2016: 'An examination of the experience of people who have undergone Gender Reassignment Procedure and/or have reversed a gender transition.’

James accepted the research might not be 'politically correct’, but felt it was important.

The next month the university rejected his proposal on the basis that 'the posting of unpleasant material on blogs or social media may be detrimental to the reputation of the University’.

'All I wanted to do with my research was listen to what people were saying and report it,’ James says.

'Society is changing so rapidly that a lot of people feel uncertain of their place in it and they’re looking for something. The fact is, the idea of trans identities is now being brought into the classroom and is all over the internet.

'I really think it’s good people who have transitioned have rights and they’re legally recognised in their gender. People fought for years for that and it’s very important.

'Some people need to transition and benefit from it. It’s a complex field, which is why we need to be able to have a healthy discussion about it and not feel afraid to do so.

This has all become a kind of Kafkaesque weird tangle. Somebody needs to call it out.’


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4979498/James-Caspian-attacked-transgender-children-comments.html#ixzz4vXKDo9Xz

The Importance of The Unlikable Heroine

I’ve always had this tendency to apologize for everything—even things that aren’t my fault, things that actually hurt me or were wrongs against me.

It’s become automatic, a compulsion I am constantly fighting. Even more disturbingly, I’ve discovered in conversations with my female friends that I’m not alone in feeling this impulse to be pleasant, to apologize needlessly, to resist showing anger.

After all, if you’re a woman and you demonstrate anger, you’re a bitch, a harpy, a shrew. You’re told to smile more because you will look prettier; you’re told to calm down even when whatever anger or otherwise “unseemly” emotion you’re experiencing is perfectly justified.

If you don’t, no one will like you, and certainly no one will love you.

I’m not sure when this apologetic tendency of mine emerged. Maybe it began during childhood; maybe the influence of social gender expectations had already begun to affect me on a subconscious level. But if I had to guess, I would assume it emerged later, when I became aware through advertisements, media, and various unquantifiable social pressures of what a girl should be—how to act, how to dress, what to say, what emotions are okay and what emotions are not.

Essentially, I became aware of what I should do, as a girl, to be liked, and of how desperate I should be to achieve that state.

Being liked would be the pinnacle of my personal achievement. I could accomplish things, sure—make good grades, go to a good school, have a stellar career. But would I be liked during all of this? That was the important thing.

It angers me that I still struggle with this. It angers me that even though I’m an intelligent, accomplished adult woman, I still experience automatic pangs of inadequacy and shame when I perceive myself to have somehow disappointed these unfair expectations. I can’t always seem to get my emotions under control, and yet I must—because sometimes those emotions are angry or unpleasant or, God forbid, unattractive, and therefore will inconvenience someone or make someone uncomfortable.

Maybe that’s why, in my fiction—both the stories I read and the stories I write—I’ve always gravitated toward what some might call “unlikable” heroines.

It’s difficult to define “unlikability”; the term itself is nebulous. If you asked ten different people to define unlikability, you would probably receive ten different answers. In fact, I hesitated to write this piece simply because art is not a thing that should be quantified, or shoved into “likable” and “unlikable” components.

But then there are those pangs of mine, that urge to apologize for not being the right kind of woman. Insidious expectations lurk out there for our girls—both real and fictional—to be demure and pleasant, to wilt instead of rally, to smile and apologize and hide their anger so they don’t upset the social construct—even when such anger would be expected, excused, even applauded, in their male counterparts.

So for my purposes here, I’ll define a “likable heroine” as one who is unobjectionable. She doesn’t provoke us or challenge our expectations. She is flawed, but not offensively. She doesn’t make us question whether or not we should like her, or what it says about us that we do.

Let me be clear: There is nothing wrong with these “likable” heroines. I can think of plenty such literary heroines whom I adore:

Fire in Kristin Cashore’s Fire. Karou in Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone series. Jo March in Little Women. Lizzie Bennet in Pride and Prejudice. The Penderwick sisters in Jeanne Birdsall’s delightful Penderwicks series. Arya (at least, in the early books) in A Song of Ice and Fire. Sarah from A Little Princess. Meg Murry from A Wrinkle in Time. Matilda in Roald Dahl’s classic book of the same name.

These heroines are easy to love and root for. They have our loyalty on the first page, and that never wavers. We expect to like them, for them to be pleasant, and they are. Even their occasional unpleasantness, as in the case of temperamental Jo March, is endearing.

What, then, about the “unlikable” heroines?

These are the “difficult” characters. They demand our love but they won’t make it easy. The unlikable heroine provokes us. She is murky and muddled. We don’t always understand her. She may not flaunt her flaws but she won’t deny them. She experiences moral dilemmas, and most of the time recognizes when she has done something wrong, but in the meantime she will let herself be angry, and it isn’t endearing, cute, or fleeting. It is mighty and it is terrifying. It puts her at odds with her surroundings, and it isn’t always easy for readers to swallow.

She isn’t always courageous. She may not be conventionally strong; her strength may be difficult to see. She doesn’t always stand up for herself, or for what is right. She is not always nice. She is a hellion, a harpy, a bitch, a shrew, a whiner, a crybaby, a coward. She lies even to herself.

In other words, she fails to walk the fine line we have drawn for our heroines, the narrow parameters in which a heroine must exist to achieve that elusive “likability”:

Nice, but not too nice.

Badass, but not too badass, because that’s threatening.

Strong, but ultimately pliable.

(And, I would add, these parameters seldom exist for heroes, who enjoy the limitless freedoms of full personhood, flaws and all, for which they are seldom deemed “unlikable” but rather lauded.)

Who is this “unlikable” heroine?

She is Amy March from Little Women. She is Briony from Ian McEwan’s Atonement. Katsa from Kristin Cashore’s Graceling. Jane Austen’s Emma Woodhouse. Sansa from A Song of Ice and Fire. Mary from The Secret Garden. She is Philip Pullman’s Lyra, and C. S. Lewis’s Susan, and Rowling’s first-year Hermione Granger. She is Katniss Everdeen. She is Scarlett O’Hara.

These characters fascinate me. They are arrogant and violent, reckless and selfish. They are liars and they are resentful and they are brash. They are shallow, not always kind. They may be aggressive, or not aggressive enough; the parameters in which a female character can acceptably display strength are broadening, but still dishearteningly narrow. I admire how the above characters embrace such “unbecoming” traits (traits, I must point out, that would not be noteworthy in a man; they would simply be accepted as part of who he is, no questions asked).

These characters learn from their mistakes, and they grow and change, but at the end of the day, they can look at themselves in the mirror and proclaim, “Here I am. This is me. You may not always like me—I may not always like me—but I will not be someone else because you say I should be. I will not lose myself to your expectations. I will not become someone else just to be liked.”

When I wrote my first novel, The Cavendish Home for Boys and Girls, I knew some readers would have a hard time stomaching the character of Victoria. She is selfish, arrogant, judgmental, rigid, and sometimes cruel. Even at the end of the novel, by which point she has evolved tremendously, she isn’t particularly likable, if we go with the above definition.

I had similar concerns about the heroine of my second novel, The Year of Shadows. Olivia Stellatella is a moody twelve-year-old who isolates herself from her peers at school, from her father, from everything that could hurt her. Her circumstances at the beginning of the novel are inarguably terrible: Her mother abandoned their family several months prior, with no explanation. Her father conducts the city orchestra, which is on the verge of bankruptcy. He neglects his daughter in favor of saving his livelihood. He sells their house and moves them into the symphony hall’s storage rooms, where Olivia sleeps on a cot and lives out of a suitcase. She calls him The Maestro, refusing to call him Dad. She hates him. She blames him for her mother leaving.

Olivia is angry and confused. She is sarcastic, disrespectful, and she tells her father exactly what she thinks of him. She lashes out at everyone, even the people who want to help her. Sometimes her anger blinds her, and she must learn how to recognize that.

I knew Olivia’s anger would be hard for some readers to understand, or that they would understand but still not like her.

This frightened me.

As a new author, the prospect of writing these heroines—these selfish, angry, difficult heroines—was a daunting one. What if no one liked them? What if, by extension, no one liked me?

But I’ve allowed the desire to be liked thwart me too many times. The fact that I nearly let my fear discourage me from telling the stories of these two “unlikable” girls showed me just how important it was to tell their stories.

I know my friends and I aren’t the only women who feel that constant urge to apologize, to demur, to rein in anger and mutate it into something more socially acceptable.

I know there are girls out there who, like me at age twelve—like Olivia, like Victoria—are angry or arrogant or confused, and don’t know how to handle it. They see likable girls everywhere—on the television, in movies, in books—and they accordingly paste on strained smiles and feel ashamed of their unladylike grumpiness and ambition, their unseemly aggression.

I want these girls to read about Victoria and Olivia—and Scarlett, Amy, Lyra, Briony—and realize there is more to being a girl than being liked. There is more to womanhood than smiling and apologizing and hiding those darker emotions.

I want them to sift through the vast sea of likable heroines in their libraries and find more heroines who are not always happy, not always pleasant, not always good. Heroines who make terrible decisions. Heroines who are hungry and ambitious, petty and vengeful, cowardly and callous and selfish and gullible and unabashedly sensual and hateful and cunning. Heroines who don’t always act particularly heroic, and don’t feel the need to, and still accept themselves at the end of the day regardless.

Maybe the more we write about heroines like this, the less susceptible our girl readers will be to the culture of apology that surrounds them.

Maybe they will grow up to be stronger than we are, more confident than we are. Maybe they will grow up in a world brimming with increasingly complex ideas about what it means to be a heroine, a woman, a person.

Maybe they will be “unlikable” and never even think of apologizing for it.

Some illusions that society has created are far from the truth. You don’t need the newest car or fanciest jacket to be the best. Food is not okay to just chuck in the trash. Clean water is not the least bit disposable. Run away from these illusions, and protect your own beliefs.

2

I haven’t always been comfortable with my body, especially when I was younger, and the truth is I still have periods where I struggle. Last year I was very sick mentally and was even hospitalised. I was placed on strong medication and I put on over 10kg, I didn’t even feel up to modelling anymore! I came out of the whole experience feeling really depressed and physically uncomfortable. The thought of going to the beach/pool (wearing swimmers!) was too much to handle. I realised however that I had fallen for the same social pressures I had been campaigning against. So with summer almost upon us, I’ve decided I’m going to embrace my rolls and just enjoy being out in the sun #iwillbreaktherules! My swimsuit is from
Swimwear Galore, who are also looking for five Australian women of different shapes and sizes to front their summer campaign, to enter share a pic on Instagram with #iwillembracesummer and tag @swimweargalore. I would be thrilled to see you guys in the photo shoot! ❤️❤️

Can I just say I have a lot of opinions about JJ, especially from a Westerner’s point of view? Specifically, the way he’s treated by the other skaters in YOI? JJ is loud, boisterous, and toots his own horn at every chance. Does this make him a bad guy? No way. In fact, all it does is paint a picture of how the rest of the world views people from America. Now, I’m from the US, so I can’t really speak for Canada, but I have quite a few Canadian friends and we are all, by definition, “North Americans”. I notice that our cultures aren’t really that different- specifically our social culture. Most Western young men act A LOT like JJ does- making jokes at other peoples’ expenses, trying to one-up everyone around them, be it verbally or otherwise, being really competitive and thriving in a competitive atmosphere, and generally just being very loud and obnoxious. 

Keep reading

Listen up!

girls, being masculine than what is common of your gender does not mean you are a boy!

boys, being feminine than what is common of your gender does not mean you are a girl!

girls, liking short hair, not wanting to wear makeup and 'boyish’ things does not mean you are a boy!

boys, liking dresses/skirts, makeup and ‘girly’ things does not mean you a girl!

girls and boys, liking both feminine and masculine things does not mean you are non-binary!

girls and boys, not fitting in with either sex does not mean you are non-binary!

gender roles do not equal sex!

gender non-conformity is not the same as being trans!

you are normal the way you are, take pride in not conforming to gender roles and do not give in to social pressure!

This is gonna be rambling and out of sorts but like. I want to put out my stance as a trans sga ace person and I’m sure there’s been plenty of people who have said this more eloquently than me but:

If you aren’t trans or sga you aren’t part of the LGBT community. Like, plain and simple as that.

I’m going to start by saying that when I was 14 I thought I was aroace and I came out to my mom and told her I probably wasnt ever going to want to have a relationship. She reacted bad. Like legit screaming fight and calling me a sinner bad. It was some of the most ridiculous bullshit I’d ever been exposed to. And it sucked and it hurt that she didn’t understand and even tho I’ve moved away from that identity, it still sucks to remember that moment. And this is serious shit that needs to be addressed, aroace people do have a lot of interpersonal stigma that needs to be talked about and remedied.

But see. That’s the key difference. Aroace issues are interpersonal, not societal. And the aroace community has very different goals from LGBT people as a result.

Aroace community initiatives are all about Visibility and Education. And those are noble goals, giving people access to this knowledge is great, but for LGBT people the kind of laser focus on Visibility isn’t great.

LGBT people are hypervisible. Trans women get mocked in media constantly, gay men and lesbians are stereotyped and demonized out the wazoo, everyone Knows we’re here. We don’t have a visibility issue.

We’re busy focusing on fighting the societal laws that literally restrict our freedoms. Because at the end of the day if you’re not an sga ace person, you’re not going to walk into an apartment complex with your spouse and be denied a home by a homophobic leasing agent. You’re not going to propose to the person you love and then have a baker refuse to make you a wedding cake because they believe you’re such an abomination that they think getting money from you is a sin. You’re not going to walk down the street holding your partner’s hand and have to fear for your life. You’re not going to tell your co-workers about your spouse and face social isolation, harassment, possibly being fired. You’re not going to be sent to conversion therapy specifically for your orientation and tortured until you’re too afraid to express your love anymore. You’re not going to be refused the right to donate blood.

If youre not a trans ace person, you’re not going to be stopped on your way to the bathroom and sexually harassed about your “real gender.” You’re not going to be denied work. You’re not going to be forced against your will to identify as a gender you are not.

There are no anti-ace laws. Theres no mandate to have sex or be in relationships. There are social pressures, YES, and I’m not denying that. And social pressures suck. But what you’re dealing with is fundamentally different from sga & trans experiences.

The thing about being ace is that it really is more of an interpersonal than professional disclosure. If someone irl asked me about my partners I’d have to talk about my boyfriends. I wouldn’t mention my level of sexual attraction or engagement because that’s not what was asked or what is socially appropriate to disclose. My boyfriends know I’m acespec because it’s relevant to our relationship, my boss would not.

Aromanticism is a mildly different story, because this is when you would reveal, “oh, I’m not in a relationship, I’m not really interested in them.” This could be met mostly with confusion, misunderstanding, disbelief, jokes, or “it’s a phase"s. Which all suck! They do and they’re issues that need to be addressed and dealt with, but once more they’re fundamentally different from the concerns sga people have to deal with when bringing their orientations into the professional realm.

Aro/ace people are perfectly valid, memeatic as that term has become. These are legitimate identities with definitely legitimate issues. But the facts are that the aroace community has vastly different priorities from the LGBT community and this is why they are fundamentally separate.

LGBT spaces and resources shouldn’t be expended in a direction that takes focus away from actual LGBT issues like the ones discussed above. Aroace people need to rally together and get their own resources in shape so they can create a more focused and targeted attempt to do what they want to accomplish. Because tugging at LGBT resources and insisting on including cishet aces, whose experiences are so fundamentally different from trans sga folks’, in LGBT spaces is detrimental to all of us in the long run.

And all the sitting around flinging insults at LGBT people and comparing them to bigots or their oppressors and being disgusted by LGBT people empowering themselves through displays of affection that they’re demonized for in every other circle just kinda proves the rift that exists between these communities and how much their priorities differ.

Anyways I’m done that was a lot of text

gemstoneblitz  asked:

I hate my art skills....

I’m gonna be clear. This is kinda a point of view of mine, based on my own experience and observation.

You know what’s the problem? The social media itself. 
I’m not going to say it is internet’s fault, because I learned many stuff reading and watching on internet years later.

I didn’t have someone in real life to teach me and I didn’t have internet either. My style was TOO WAY different from what is it now. It was obvious, but I enjoyed so much drawing. It never crossed in my mind that my art skills were terrible. I fillled more than 20 notebooks with comics. 

Even I was teaching my school friends how to draw. AND THEY LEARNED TO DRAW THAT STYLE, EVEN THO IT WAS THIS THING BELOW!!

THEY LEARNED HOW TO DRAW LIKE THAT!!

I CAN EVEN STILL DRAW IN THAT STYLE

BUT WE DID NEVER CARE ABOUT IT
Because we were happy drawing our stories (And the stories weren’t good at all”)

We were happy doing our stuff. And we improved without realizing it. We found a style, we tried to copy it, something started to change, we loved it, we kept drawing, we commited mistakes, we didn’t care, we won contests with THAT style… 

Some people today could say we were living as “ignorants”, but the real thing here is, that we were finding ourselves without caring others’ words. We loved each part of our progress, and of course, that took a lot of years, and still.

Social media wasn’t as important as it is now, at least in my country. Mid-class families started to have internet in their own houses around 2005 - 2006, but social media became really important around 2008… just a few ones knew the existence of the classic memes. Smartphones were only for rich people.  I just got Macromedia Flash mx 2004 and Paint.Net, learning how to use layers on my own. Having such a mess, but proud of my progress, ALWAYS.

I love so much that part of my life for that reason, because it  is not like now.

People need to check their social media everytime. Posting something everytime to get a thumb up and don’t be forgotten. To be someone and meet a lot of people. I’m not saying this last one is wrong, in this world of artists this is pretty important to have interaction since some of us don’t have friends that share our same stuff in our neighbor, city, country, etc.

The point is, here’s a social pressure to hurry, to make something really big, something awesome and having 15 minutes of fame, even years of fame. To make ‘em enjoy, but never enjoy yourself, because there’s no time to think about yourself. 

You must do something that calls people’s attention and hoping your thing become a trend. If you’re not enough good, you can get ignored, or even worse, being hurt by people that can hide their faces and spit shit on your innocence and your ilussions to become a better person, artist, musician, whatever u want to be.

People that will never read a point of view, because everything must be quick, everyone are posting something, everyone are trying to make something big, some of them are doing it with kindness, others just to get attention. I don’t even know if you will read this, I don’t care. Sometimes I think it is a waste of time sharing these thoughts, but I hope someone who is making the same question, this long post can help in something.

I have met very talented people, VERY very talented people, I talked to them, they shared me their drawings. I tried to show them they were good… but they are totally blind and still call shit themselves and their work.

You don’t have any fucking idea how does it feels to hear/read that… And I hope those guys read this. I don’t feel dissapointed, I feel like if a relative of mine was commited suicide. That’s how I feel.

So…

Think in yourself, please. Take your time, and try to not hate yourself. Try to not hate your skills. Good stuff can come to you, when you stop worrying about it and you start to make an effort.


These kind of asks make me feel terrible for people that are not able to understand this… so please. 


A note on transgender military service:

I want to remind everyone that people who join the military most often do so due to economic hardship, misguided patriotism, and promises of a better future.

I will additionally remind folks that yes, I am aware that in reality our military is the tool by which United States imperialism is enforced across the globe.

A final reminder: look at the big picture. In practice, this ban isn’t much different from before. Trans people will continue to serve in silence when they are forced to by social pressure and poverty. Those who are currently in the military but out as trans have a rough road ahead. But again, big picture: this is yet another step intended to make clear that trans people are not welcome as members of society. Our government is doing everything possible to make us the unwelcome and unwanted “other” as they have done with black folks, non-european immigrants, disabled folks, first nations people, and more.

All you “trans for Trump” types out there: wake the fuck up.

All you homonationalists: I hope you know you’ll be next.

And the rest of you: if you support any part of this bigoted imperialist, white supremacist garbage, I know you as my enemy. I’ll be seeing you.