SOCIAL PRESSURE

Reminder to future self:

Wedding cake to have Rukia’s sode no shirayuki and ichigo’s zangetsu (from SS, Bankai version “the power in my hand was gained for her sake!”) to be on the very top of my wedding cake when I get married.

Bonus points to make them criss-cross stabbed into the cake with a red thread connected them.

Super Bonus points making it edible.

Now just have to meet with my Ichigo/soulmate hahah ha… / sobs


Spoiler: may end up having this cake alone with my 7 future cats and other miscellaneous pets.

But seriously that’s okay I’ve made peace with that because I much rather be alone and happy than force myself to just be with someone or just “settle” out of fear of being alone or social pressure.  I do struggle with self-esteem but I’m a lot better than I used to be and I know that I don’t have to settle for less and I also know I want a healthy, mutual, supportive relationship with someone who i can explicitly trust and be myself around!  Not a one-sided barely afloat one based on shaking reasons with no substance!


Edit- making of this my ideal spouse will either be super ichiruki like me and salty or be oblivious to bleach and ichiruki but will agree about ichiruki when I explain and be willing to listen to me rant and understanding when they find me sobbing in a bathtub at random once in a blue moon under a shower fully clothed and not be alarmed and go “Ichiruki”? To which I’ll sob “THEYRE SOULMATES.” And they’re just like “"there there” and we have our own comfort routine for each other.  But hopefully I won’t have these breakdowns in the future lol.  Thank you in advance, future spouse!

10

Sisters, don’t be afraid to DEFY GRAVITY.

GO FOR IT!

Being vegan is easy. Are there social pressures that encourage you to continue to eat, wear, and use animal products? Of course there are. But in a patriarchal, racist, homophobic, and ableist society, there are social pressures to participate and engage in sexism, racism, homophobia, and ableism. At some point, you have to decide who you are and what matters morally to you. And once you decide that you regard victimizing vulnerable nonhumans is not morally acceptable, it is easy to go and stay vegan
—  Gary L. Francione
you don't have to earn the right to like things

It’s ok to like things. In particular, it’s ok to like stories, and it’s ok to talk about liking them. It’s also ok to write things like headcanons, fanfic, and happy rants about how awesome your favorite character is.


Every story is problematic in some way; that’s not necessarily the most important thing about a story. Which things are and are not dealbreaking is deeply personal.


You don’t have to earn the right to like things. In particular, you don’t have to listen to endless commentary about how the thing you like is actually terrible. You don’t have to talk about it actually being terrible every time you mention the thing.

It’s important to be considerate of others and not try to pressure others into liking the thing you like. Just as it’s ok for you to like it, it’s ok for other people to find the problems dealbreaking.


It’s ok to like something. It’s ok not to. It’s not ok to be a jerk about it.

This is why I build walls.
  • Me:-Crying. Alone. Upset.-
  • Friends:Stop being so dramatic, you're such an attention seeker. Get over yourself.
  • Family:I know you're a teenager but that doesn't give you the right to sit around feeling sorry for yourself. When I was your age I just had to get on with it. Don't be so pathetic.
  • Society:Just stop trying. You're never going to fit in anyway.
  • Teachers:We need to have a talk about these grades. You have to work for it or you're going to fail life. You don't want to fail life do you?
  • Peers:God, look at you. You're a mess. Pull yourself together.
Shout out to Americans adult who won't be voting today

If you’re an American adult, there’s a lot of intense pressure to vote right now.

And I know that, for all kinds of reasons, a lot of you won’t be able to vote today. And all of you matter too.

Some of you may be unable to travel to the polls.

Some of you may have been convicted of a crime (rightly or wrongly).

Some of you may have been declared mentally incompetent by a judge.

Some of you may not have been able to figure out how to get a ballot in time.

Some of you might be at home taking care of kids with no one available to watch them so that you can go to the polls.

Some of you might have abusive partners who are preventing you from voting.

Some of you might be avoiding a stalker who knows your polling location.

Or any number of reasons.

Voting is important, but it is not the end all and be all of civic responsibility. If you for whatever reason aren’t able to exercise your right to vote, you’re still an American, you’re still an adult, and your voice still matters. (And if you’re neither an American nor an adult, your voice also still matters.) You have not failed or forfeited the right to have an opinion on political issues.

Whether or not you vote today, you matter and it’s good that you care about things, and it’s ok to keep caring about things.

When they warn you about peer pressure in school they tell you about drugs and alcohol; they tell you about people offering you weed or beer and telling you ‘all the cool kids are doing it’. They talk about peer pressure like it is obvious and so easy to spot that you can joke about it when it arises among your friends. 

What they don’t tell you is how it can be a subtle and consistent othering. What they don’t tell you is that ‘no thanks’ is never the end of it. What they don’t tell you is that its not always about drugs or alcohol. 

No lesson on the dangers of peer pressure includes the feeling of ‘outsideness’.  They never teach you about the self-consciousness when all of your friends are drinking and laughing and gently teasing you about being the ‘parent’. It’s not always a forceful pressure and they don’t always mean to press on you. but even the strongest stone can be carved away by drop after drop of water. 

No one warned me about the peer pressure that comes with being the only one who doesn’t have a crush. No one warned me about feeling ashamed and anxious about being the only one who had never been in a relationship. No one warned me how being a virgin and feeling kind of grossed out by the idea of sex would make knots in my stomach when I talked about the ‘top ten celebrities I’d do’ at sleepovers. 

No one warned me about the peer pressure that comes when a friend in my social group had a crush on me. No one warned me how uncomfortable I would be with it, or how much my friends would tease me about never having a boyfriend, or tell me now was my chance, or exclude me from group dates. No one warned me that my friends would tell me I was heartless for not giving them a chance, or they wouldn’t speak to me again if I didn’t date them because it was cruel for me to not to give them a chance when we were friends and they were into me. 

When they warn you about peer pressure no one warns you that you can be cornered into doing things you aren’t comfortable with or don’t want to do by people you trust and it doesn’t always have to do with ‘what the cool kids are doing’ it can be as subtle as being different because in school being different is pressure enough. 

The assumption that “most women are innately heterosexual” stands as a theoretical and political stumbling block for many women. It remains a tenable assumption, partly because lesbian existence has been written out of history or catalogued under disease; partly because it has been treated as exceptional rather than intrinsic; partly because to acknowledge that for women heterosexuality may not be a “preference” at all but something that has had to be imposed, managed, organized, propagandized and maintained by force is an immense step to take if you consider yourself freely and “innately” heterosexual. Yet the failure to examine heterosexuality as an institution is like failing to admit that the economic system called capitalism or the caste system of racism is maintained by a variety of forces, including both physical violence and false consciousness.
—  Adrienne Rich, Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence 
Figure of Speech

Every time I speak, I interrupt.
Whenever I get the nerve, I fail
and the general flow I disrupt.
So I recoil, becoming pale.

I should shut up, nothing to add,
Apologizing again and again.
Didn’t mean to make you mad.
I’ll make sure to stay in my brain.

I’m more comfortable in the background
It seems like people are hard to reach,
Maybe I just shouldn’t be found.
Maybe I’m a terrible figure of speech.