SO-MANY-CAPSLOCKS

in which I reply to asks

I have received so many lovely/generous/capslocked asks and messages about the CP bachelor AU, mostly from anons, and rather than filling up everyone’s dash with individual replies I thought I’d do some…paraphrasing.

JOKASTE IS SO GREAT
YES. YES SHE IS. WELL DONE TO ALL OF YOU ANONS WITH EXCELLENT TASTE. I was pleased with the glimpses of jokaste we got in the books but I will seize any excuse to write her myself, as part of my ongoing fight for more ruthless, charming, ambitious masterminds who are women. and I love the idea that under other circumstances she and laurent might have been cautious and terrifying allies, if their interests ever aligned.

I had a dream about this AU!
literally two separate anons have told me this and I think this is amazing. your dreams probably have better plot twists than the actual story. especially the one where damen had to learn japanese for Nebulous Reality TV Reasons. more power to you, collective fandom subconscious.

BUT AIMERIC
look, this is a small lifeboat and I can’t save everyone, and my primary interest in every AU I write is keeping nicaise alive so that he and laurent can be snarky BFFs. and aimeric is just so much more useful if you keep his traitorous aspects intact. don’t worry, laurent is gonna have a minor existential moment about this in the next scene. 

oh boy I can’t wait for them to bone down
me neither. me. neither. I don’t know how porny this fic is going to get but rest assured there will be at LEAST some serious kissing.

ok so…damen has a man bun?
yes. it’s super hot. he looks like that guy you run into in woolworths who has clearly just been to the gym and is now shopping for greek yoghurt and could probably bench press your entire weight, and you get so distracted by his arms and his dimples and the little dark wisps of escaping hair in the nape of his neck that you accidentally end up with a trolley full of frozen peas and none of the yoghurt you, personally, were meant to be picking up.

that is a very specific scenario
yes, it is definitely Fiction and in no way based on a real experience.

but what is LAURENT’S hair doing in this universe?
his hair is full of secrets, obviously.

fahye are you just making up questions now
maybe.

Mekakushi Radio [Introduction]
Mekakushi Radio [Introduction]

Ene (Asumi Kana) and Shintaro (Terashima Takuma): Mekakushi Radio!!

Ene: LADIES and GENTLEMEN!!!
Millions and millions of anime fans all over the country, ARE YOU STILL AWAKE!!?

It’s Mekakushi Dan NO.6 - SUPER ULTRA CYBERNETIC IDOL DJ ENE-CHAN!! YAYYY, OK, it’s your turn to present yourself Goshujin!

(Who is this person?): HERE I COME!! SO WHO’S CALLING THE HIKINEET - THE NICE GUY IN RED JERSEY, THE FAST BALL OF NANIWA - KISARAGI SHINTARO - THAT’S ME!!! (*He’s speaking all of this in Kansai-ben)


* Shintaro’s introduction is a parody of Yowamushi Pedal’s Naruko-kun (CV: Fukushima Jun), who also has red as his theme color. In addition, Naruko’s also known to care about his siblings a lot; he also runs a radio show at his school.