SMILING AT HER DOING ANYTHING HE CAN EVEN MAKING RIDICULOUS IMPRESSIONS OF HIMSELF

The Case of the Bed Stranger

Stiles/Derek, T, 1.5K words, College AU

Written for the following prompt: The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU


“Erica,” Derek says calmly—very calmly, he thinks, considering the situation. It’s two in the morning, he just trudged back from the library with a pounding headache behind his eyes, and he comes home to find their apartment the site of a raging house party, with drunk undergrads everywhere.

“Hey, Der,” she says, with that wide grin that only comes out when she’s had one drink too many.

“You didn’t tell me you were throwing a party,” he says, his jaw clenched, and she scoffs.

“This? This isn’t a party. This is a, uh, just a little get-together.”

Derek rolls his eyes. “It’s finals, for fuck’s sake. I’m going to bed, at least turn the fucking music down.”

He pushes through the crowd—accidentally hitting some of them with his backpack, oops—and finally seeks refuge in his room. The noise is dulled, blessedly, when he shuts the door behind him, and he exhales, letting his eyes fall shut. His momentary calm evaporates, however, when he opens eyes and notices the very important fact that someone is currently asleep in his bed, sprawled out on his stomach like he owns the place.

All Derek can see is broad bare shoulders, messy brown hair, and half of a mole-dotted face, pressed into the pillow and currently slack with sleep. Huh.

Derek sighs. He’s fucking exhausted, he doesn’t want to deal with babysitting some drunk kid right now, and he really doesn’t want him to wake up and then throw up in Derek’s bed or something.

Plus, the traitorous little voice in his head says, he’s really cute.

Derek shakes his head, irritated, as he drops his backpack on his desk chair. He strips down to his boxers and skips brushing his teeth—he’ll do it twice in the morning, and people are probably fucking the bathroom anyway, Jesus Christ.

Derek pulls back the comforter and gently slides into the bed, trying not to disrupt the mattress before he realizes that he’s being ridiculous. Why is he even considering a stranger’s comfort? It all seems for naught, anyway, because this kid apparently sleeps like the dead.

He takes a quick peek under the blankets, and at least the guy’s still wearing briefs, thank god. Derek doesn’t want to have to worry about accidentally sexually assaulting someone in his sleep.

He flops over onto his other side—thanks to the king size bed, his only grad school indulgence, there’s plenty of room—and closes his eyes. He’ll deal with this shit in the morning.

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The List - Bucky x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by buckwildbarnes

You punched the button on the elevator and sighed, closing your eyes. It was disastrous date one after another. This guy was sent a message by his ex right when you were having dinner and getting along. He then proceeded to show you the text message of her wanting to try again before running off.

The other one previously was obnoxiously rude. He interrupted the waitress when she was talking about the specials, he interrupted you and straight out said your opinion was wrong when you were talking about movies, at first you thought he was trying to be funny, until you realised he was more serious than ever.

The elevator doors opened and you walked straight into the living room and fell onto the couch with a sigh. Steve shot Wanda a worried look as she moved over to you and rubbed your arm.

“No more dates, I’ve had enough. I’m done” You mumbled into the couch before rolling over to look at the ceiling.

“You say this but then you go on about how you miss the intimacy of a relationship and enjoying their company..” Wanda explained and you covered your eyes with your arm. She was right as always.

“Bad date again?” You heard a deep voice pipe up, you lifted your head to see Bucky in the doorway, sipping coffee from a mug without a care in the world. If anything, he seemed almost smug. You looked at him, his white vest on and his flattering grey sweatpants on. This would be much easier if Bucky Barnes would just love you. 

“You could say that” You mumbled, sitting up and pulling your coat off and your shoes. Wanda shot Bucky a look which brought him to sit next to you. Steve soon excused himself and Wanda put her face in a magazine. 

“C’mon doll, we’ll watch some crap TV and you’ll be over whatever his name is in no time” Bucky rubbed your arm, you dropped your head on his shoulder as he put on animal planet, knowing the puppies were gonna cheer you up. 


It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep with your head on Bucky’s lap, as soon as he started playing with your hair you were a goner.

“Bucky Barnes” Wanda hissed making him snap out of his lovesick trance as he watched you. “Do something.”

“I can’t just do something” Bucky hissed back “I’m not what she’s looking for.”

“What’s that then?” Wanda raised an eyebrow making Bucky groan.

“A man with two actual arms, not previously brainwashed, not previously an assassin. Someone who knows how to have a good time. I haven’t even kissed anyone since the 40s..” Bucky listed off, he realised his jerky movements had woke you temporarily from your slumber. He froze on the spot as you sat up and yawned, rubbing your eyes. You gave them both a small wave before heading to your bedroom.

“Did she hear anything?” Bucky asked panicked.

“No she’s still mostly asleep” Wanda reassured.


The next day you went in the kitchen to grab some breakfast when something really odd happened. Bucky had himself pressed up against Wanda as she bent down to get something. The look of horror crossed his face as he noticed what you walked in on. You felt slightly disheartened, you had only been in love with Bucky since you started, but he never reciprocated your feelings, so who were you to be angry. It did sting you a little that it was Wanda of all people.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll uh..come back later” You stuttered over your words before making a swift exit, not able to get that image out of your mind.

“Barnes, please get your dick away from me” Wanda cursed picking up the plates she had dropped behind the island. 

“I didn’t mean to, I just went to grab them as you did and now Y/N walked in and..” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair “This is bad.”

“Look it doesn’t matter, she probably didn’t think anything of it.” Wanda reassured sitting down with her food “As I was saying, we are gonna go through your list of things and make you the perfect candidate.”

Wanda frowned as she picked up the piece of paper that Bucky had passed to her, clearly ripped from his journal.

1. Two arms.

“Bucky, Y/N is not superfical, and you know she loves your arm, plus there’s not much we can do about that” Wanda frowned. “Okay what’s next?”

2. Handsome

“Alright, what do you say about getting a haircut Barnes? And a shave?” Wanda asked and Bucky fiddled with his hands before nodding. He really did like Y/N, and even though he had an inkling she liked him back, he wanted to really blow her away.


You walked into the living room, blanket in hand and chocolate in the other. The room was fully free for once, which was strange it never happened. You had been out all day with Natasha, trying to get you set up with one of her friends. After seeing Bucky and Wanda, it kind of gave you the kick up the ass you needed.

You took comfort in the corner of the sofa and put on your favourite film, Dirty Dancing. You eyed Bucky walking into the room and frowned as he sat down next to you. His hair was much shorter, much much shorter. 

“Hey doll, mind if I join?” He asked with a smile as you eyed his hair, and his smooth face.

“No that’s fine, what happened to your hair Buck?” You asked, running your hand through it. You couldn’t lie he looked good, but this wasn’t the Bucky you were used to. Especially considering he was wearing some very strange designer pyjamas as well. 

“Wanda suggested I get it cut, don’t you like it?” He asked worriedly as you gave him a strange look. Your hands now running along his jaw as you inspected either side of his hair.

“It suits you, it looks good. Just not used to it” You said sitting back down. Of course Wanda would suggest he get a haircut. Maybe it was his choice too, you just hoped she wasn’t rushing him into changing himself.  “Those pyjamas are ridiculous though” You teased.

“What?” He said looking down at his blue button up. “I thought this was fashion”

“Since when does James Barnes do fashion?” You giggled. He smirked and tickled you playfully for your comment. You stopped giggling when he pulled the shirt over his head and chucked it to the side. You soon realised how dry your mouth was, and turned back to the film as he relaxed into your side.  You needed to stop oggling your friends boyfriend.


“You’re getting stubbly” Wanda warned Bucky as they sat down in the living room together to go over the next part of his list. It had been a few days and although he appreciated the haircut, he didn’t like being completely clean shaven, he felt naked. Plus you complimented him on how it looked better now.

“I know, it’s fine. I’m uh, I’m not sure if we should practice this part. Feels wrong” Bucky said chewing his lip. 

“It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just a friend helping a friend” Wanda shrugged, a lot more comfortable than what Bucky was.

“What if I get it wrong?” Bucky flushed “I really don’t wanna screw this up.”

“I thought you were the ultimate ladies man back in the 40s, you need to get that confidence back. Be cocky, girls love it” Wanda said with a smile before turning to Bucky. She watched him fidget about and sighed before grabbing his face and kissing him hard.

You had ran around the whole kitchen, unable to find your one hoody. It was freezing outside and there was no way you were going anywhere without it. When it seemed like there was no hope, you ran down to Bucky’s room and knocked, he would know where it was. 

After a few minutes when there was no response, you headed back upstairs and into the living room. You stopped dead in your tracks when you watched Wanda and Bucky making out pretty heavy on the couch. You sucked in a breath, they were your friends you had to be happy for them. Bucky’s eyes opened wide when he caught you stood there, trying not to interrupt as you moved around the living room, trying to find your hoody.

“Y/N?” Bucky cleared his throat, pushing Wanda away gently.

“Sorry guys, I’m just trying to find my hoody, I’ll be out in a second” You mentioned, your voice quiet, trying to hide the hurt. Bucky realised Wanda and him had been lying on it and pulled it out from under him. He passed it to you and frowned when he noticed you avoiding his gaze. 

“Thanks, have fun guys” You mumbled before jogging out the room.

Bucky looked to Wanda who shrugged before going back to his list.

“What’s the point in me going through this list if Y/N won’t wanna go on a date with me?” Bucky asked disheartened from the hurt written across your face.

“We’ll set her up like a surprise date. Don’t worry, you guys will have your happy ever after. That kiss Barnes was mighty impressive” Wanda giggled to herself.

“Yeah, thanks” Bucky mumbled, distracted.


You had avoided Bucky and Wanda for the remainder of the week. Bucky had tried to talk to you but when he did, he was giving you sarcastic remarks and acting like a dick. You had no idea what was going on with him. But that didn’t matter, you had a date tonight and you were going to make sure this one actually went smoothly.

You had no idea what this guy looked like or if he was remotely nice. But Natasha pushed that it was meant to be and that he would sweep you off your feet. You opted for a sleek black dress and a little bit of make up, you didn’t want to go all out like you had on the other dates, believing now that you weren’t showing them your true self.

“Table for L/N” You asked the waiter who greeted you. 

“Oh your party is already here, please follow me” He said with a smile. You followed him, nerves hitting you as you smoothed down your dress. Well here goes nothing.

You frowned when you seen Bucky sat at the table, a nice blue shirt and jacket on, his hair pushed back and a smile on his face. He thanked the waiter and took your hand, sitting down with you.

“What’s going on? Is this a prank?” You asked, looking around trying to see if Tony was hiding somewhere.

“No, it’s me, I’m your date.Name is James Buchanan Barnes, it’s lovely to meet you” He offered his hand and you raised an eyebrow at him. He let out a breath and called the waiter over and ordered a bottle of wine.

“Alright I’ll explain what’s going on.” He took your hand, although you were skeptical of why he was here, you couldn’t help but melt at the sight of Bucky Barnes actually attempting to wine and dine you. Something you had wished for for a long time.

“I’ve been head over heels in love with you for sometime doll” He confessed with a small chuckle. “I kept seeing you broken hearted that all these dates were going terribly but I just kept thanking my lucky stars because I wanted to be the one to sweep you off your feet. But I didn’t feel like I was good enough..”

“Bucky, I would have gone on a date with you at anytime, at any place..” You smiled at him softly.

“I know, but I needed it to be perfect. So I made a list of things and Wanda was helping me. I cut my hair and took care of my appearance a bit more, I hadn’t kissed a girl in a very long time so Wanda was helping me, I’m sorry you walked in on that. But I was doing this all for you, I swear..”

“You did all this for me?” You asked and Bucky nodded. “You didn’t need to change a damn thing Bucky, I was in love with you right from the start. Though please don’t kiss Wanda anymore, I don’t think I can stomach that.”

“I know” He laughed out loud, rubbing his head “I was wonderin, if tonight goes well, if you would consider may be going on another date?”

“Hmm” You tapped a finger against your lip with a smile “I’ll do you one better, if tonight goes well, how about you make me your permanent practice partner?”

“That sounds like music to my ears” 


Odd Socks - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : Sometimes, Bruce likes to think about all the things he loves about you, just as a reminder that you’re the best thing that ever happened to him.

I hope this silly and short fic will cheer you up. If it doesn’t, sorry, I tried. I just felt suddenly inspired, while I’m in the doctor’s waiting room, and so wrote this…Wrote it on my phone, sorry if there’s any terrible mistakes. Anyway, here : 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

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There was things Bruce loved about you. A lot of things. 

Whenever he felt sad, a bit under the weather, or if you two got into an argument…He would make a list of said things, often forgetting three quarters of all the reasons why he fell in love with you, all the reasons why, even after years of marriage, he was still head over heels for you, crazy about you and everything you did (even annoying him). Because, there really was A LOT of things he loved about you, listing them all in one sitting was impossible. 

Yes, Bruce Wayne really enjoyed making lists about why you were so awesome, it often helped him cope with things (a boring meeting at Wayne Enterprise : list. Kidnapped by a villain and trying to resist torture : the thought of you, and the list would help him go through it). 

And today, as you were lying on a hospital bed, hooked to machines that helped you breathe, he definitely needed to make a list…However, for the first time since he fell for you, it wasn’t really helping. On the contrary, slowly, as he was looking at your broken body on the bed, cursing the man who didn’t check his blind spot well enough and who cut you off while you were riding your motorcycle full speed on the freeway, he felt like this list was going to be the end of him…Because, if he lost all of those things he loved so much about you, how could he go on ? And yet, he kept listing it in his head, even though the thought of losing them, losing you, was unbearable. 

1. He loves the way you always wear odd socks. 

The first time he noticed, it was in your apartment, at the beginning of your relationship, as you were both chilling together on your couch. You had one red sock, and a black one. 

The second time he noticed, he was tearing your clothes off and throwing you on his bed. You had one green sock, and a striped grey/blue one. 

The third time he noticed, it was at the Manor. Alfred had just clean the entire house, and ordered every guests to take their shoes off…It was during a party Bruce was throwing, and it was very funny to see the richest people in Gotham take their shoes off, impressed and intimidated by Bruce Wayne’s butler. Most women were bare feet, as they had heels on, and others just had normal socks on. And then there were you, a yellow and black striped sock, like a bee, and a sock with little platypus on it. Very classy. 

The fourth time he noticed, he asked you about it, and your answer made him chuckle : 

-Life’s too short for matching socks. Like, I have better things to do alright ? 

-…You’ve been binge watching Friends for the past three hours. 

-Exactly my point.

The smile you gave him at that moment made him melt, and he hasn’t been able to stop himself from kissing you passionately. Oh damn he loved you, you and your odd socks. 

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When We Collide (Part 5)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: PG-All

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

”No way! Seriously? They really kicked you out of college?”

You rolled your eyes and glared over at Nicole for being the gossip snitch, something she had been her whole life but you really had wished she would have kept this to yourself just for a while. It was, after all, pretty humiliating when you thought about it.

“You sound like you’re surprised, Joey.” You commented with a glimpse in the eye and lifted your beer up to your mouth, letting the taste explode your senses and cool down your pre-sweating forehead.

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Gold Dust Woman

As requested by a few of you, here’s a “jealous kiss” ficlet - Modern AU -Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album is an essential soundtrack to the end of this fic… (1980 words, M rated)


He has to set the pint glass back down on the bar before he crushes it in his grip, each breath he takes becoming measured in an effort to conjure an unaffected facade. It’s too slow tonight, amplifying every interaction, her laugh too loud from her end of the bar. Beyond frustrated with himself, he grabs a dishtowel and wipes at the polished wood before him in hopes that he can rub away this idiotic infatuation with the one woman he can never have. Emma Swan, the lithe blonde with the sharp tongue and impenetrable force field with whom he shares his Wednesday and Thursday night shifts. 

He’s half in love with her. Well, maybe more than half. 

The tiny hairs along the back of his neck rise and he knows she’s approaching, his own body defying his minutes-old mental edict to relax. 

“Hey, can I steal your Goldschläger? I’m all out.” 

Not trusting himself to look at her at the moment, he nods and continues to wipe at the nonexistent water rings on the wood with his rag. 

“What’s mine is yours love, you know that.” 

Cringing at the seriousness tinging the ends of his attempted flirtation, he closes his eyes in wait for her inevitable retort. 

“Everything okay with you?” 

He forces himself to look over his shoulder, too curious to see if her expression matches what sounds like honest concern in her voice. She’s regarding him with an unexpected softness and he forces a smile to curve his lips. 

“Aye, just tired, Swan,” he lies, hoping she won’t press him any further.

Her eyes narrow and then shift to his hand still moving the rag absently over the bar. 

“Right…well, I’ll just…” 

He watches as she slides behind him to grab the gold flecked cinnamon liqueur on the shelf, her short tank top lifting to reveal a strip of vanilla cream colored skin he longs to know the taste of on his tongue. The confines of his jeans feel suddenly too tight at that errant thought of his many fantasies and he snaps his head back forward, mentally shaking himself at his complete lack of control. 

“Hey Killian, you keep rubbing at that same spot, you’re gonna take the polish off.” 

Heat burns the tips of his ears at being caught, but he still manages to conjure up a salacious comeback. 

“Swan, sometimes it takes a lot of rubbing to really…get into it.”

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Summary: Jughead Jones, facing the reality of having nowhere to stay anymore when the Drive-In gets shut down, finds temporary shelter at the Blue & Gold office. But what happens when an upset Betty Cooper catches him on the act?

Read on AO3

(Sooooo, I’m watching Riverdale and my feels about Bughead are over the moon!! And now that we learnt some bits and pieces about his life and that he doesn’t have a house anymore (my heart is broken, I just love Jughead) I had no other choice but to write this, hope you all like guys!!!)


Jughead knew the routine by now. Scrunched down and trying to make his trademark combat boots as soundless as possible, the raven haired boy cautiously popped his head from the corner he was hiding, icy blue eyes scanning the empty corridor in from of him. A quarter to nine, the great clock over the entrance of Riverdale High informed him and he slightly frowned, biting anxiously on his down lip and drumming his slender fingers on the tiled wall next to him in anticipation. Radio commercials along with the icky sound of track soles stepping on wet floor could be heard faintly inside the now lifeless school building, a tell-tale sign that his misery for the day will soon be over and Jughead could be nothing but relieved about it. He was tired and even more so mentally tired, with all the small town drama and its joke of residents as well as his spiraling thoughts about his novel and the newfound reality he had to adjust to, that being his current situation of well, yeah, being homeless, plus the here and there thoughts about a certain girl next door, a girl he knew all his life and a girl he always knew belonged to his best friend, that lately seemed to invade his mind an awful more lot. Yeah, Jughead needed a place to lie down, even if that was the dusty floor of the Blue & Gold.

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anonymous asked:

I really enjoy reading your head canons 💖 this is my first time so could I request RFA V+Saeran reacting to an mc who's really into makeup and mc wanting to do their makeup? Thank you 💖

Yoosung

  • If MC asked if she could do his makeup, he’d probably be kind of reluctant
  • Just because he’s never worn makeup before, and he’s not sure if it’s appropriate for a guy to wear, even if it’s coming off right after
  • MC does up his makeup, and it’s so pretty, she has to take pictures
  • Then, she cleans it off of him (he kind of likes this part, despite himself) and whips out a completely different set of makeup, but refuses to explain
  • As she’s doing his makeup again, she keeps looking at a reference on her phone
  • When she’s done, she takes more pictures, then reveals to Yoosung she made him look like one of the top-tier bosses in LOLOL
  • He’s so excited by it that he willing posts the pictures and changes his profile picture online ^^

Jaehee

  • Even before they started dating, Jaehee noticed that, although MC never mentioned makeup, she never wore it the same way two days in a row
  • Like, it’s a different style or set of colors, and usually matches to MC’s outfits
  • Whenever Jaehee compliments or verbally acknowledges her makeup, MC smiles really big and Jaehee’s heart melts a little
  • Once they do start dating, Jaehee asks if MC will do her makeup and MC is just like, “My time has come!”
  • They set a day, MC brings more stuff that Jaehee thought she would, and MC makes a look for Jaehee that, when they do a selfie and post it to the Messenger, the guys almost don’t recognize her
  • Jaehee absolutely adores doing girly things like makeup with MC, and never quite gets into it the same way, but loves how enthusiastic MC is

Zen

  • He probably dotes on everything MC says, so when she starts talking make up, he talks brands used by the theater, and styles he’s seen for different shows
  • he totally has selfies of himself in some of those different styles, which makes MC freak out in excitement because it’s so cool
  • They swap some makeup tips, and when MC asks to do Zen’s makeup for fun, he agrees
  • After all, as an actor, he’s used to it (wouldn’t put it past him to wear makeup outside of the house, tbh, but nothing obvious)
  • So he just sits and waits patiently as she does his makeup, occasionally putting his hands on her hips or waist or something because she’s so close and he just wants to touch her
  • When she’s done, he’s very impressed and loves it
  • Maybe he even asks her to teach him so he can do it for her
  • MC is so enthusiastic, he can’t help but smile and gaze on adoringly

Jumin

  • The moment he heard MC say, “I just love makeup” very casually, he was ready to buy MC a bunch
  • Jumin buys the best stuff, but also the colors that best go with MC’s features and coloring
  • He also gets her a ton of supplies so she can do it however she wants with any tool she could need
  • MC feels so spoiled and pampered, but she adores this and him
  • She’d probably ask if she could do his makeup when he had a day off so that could monopolize him and also do his makeup as wild as she wanted
  • He agrees out of curiosity, and is surprised by the end results
  • Then she tells him to close his eyes again, he does, she cleans some of the makeup off, then draws something, and when he checks the mirror again, she’s drawn cat whiskers and a little nose on him
  • He’s amused, pulls her into his lap and offers to draw whiskers on her as well

Saeyoung

  • Oh please, the moment Saeyoung sees all her makeup, color varieties, etc, he asks her to do his makeup
  • Of course, he also wants to return the favor
  • So Saeyoung and MC end up sitting on the couch, doing each other’s makeup, little by little
  • And of course, Saeyoung thinks he looks adorable and loves what she did
  • They dress up to match their makeup and take a picture together, blowing kisses at the camera, then post it to the chats
  • They make it a regular thing to do makeup together or for each other, sometimes it’s ridiculous and fun, sometimes it’s down right sexy
    • One time they dressed up as nurses, and did really pretty, natural, cute makeup with highlights in pink and such
    • Another time they dragged Saeran in and did face paints, so Saeran was a tiger, Saeyoung a red panda, and MC a leopard (and they even had kitty ears and tails to match) (Saeran was so embarrassed and some candid shots from the photo shoot were of Saeran trying to smash the camera)
    • Clowns, they definitely dressed up as clowns
  • Usually, though, it’s just pretty stuff, contouring practice, etc

V

  • Well, being mostly blind he doesn’t have to worry about anything getting too close to his eye
  • He doesn’t get to see her wear makeup , but he loves hearing her describe her makeup for the day
  • The first time she does his makeup (he thought it’d be fun) he almost had a sensation overload because she kept touching his face so gently
  • One or twice they go out with him wearing makeup because his glasses cover up the obvious stuff
  • When he gets his eyes fixed, he still asks her to describe her makeup before he sees it
  • He still enjoys her applying makeup to him, even if he doesn’t wear it out anymore, as it’s very soothing

Saeran

  • he already steals MC’s eyeliner
  • Okay, but Saeran probably knows how much she spends on makeup
  • But for some reason, he actually finds it kind of soothing to watch MC do her makeup
  • Like, it’s so basic and routine for her, picking colors (once he starts observing her, she starts asking his opinions), switching between brushes and tools, and just applying everything
  • The monotony and simplicity is probably what does it
  • One day, she waits for him in the bathroom, a brush in hand, and says, “Your turn.”
  • She got some makeup specifically for him, and, after a little pushing and prodding, Saeran sits down and lets MC apply his makeup
  • She gave him a punk look with the dark eyeliner and mascara and all that
  • Saeran likes it more than he wants to admit, so he washes most of the makeup off, but leaves the eye stuff in tact claiming, “it’s hard to get off”
  • he’s not wrong, but MC sees right through him and says nothing

title: mama says
rating: K
pairings/characters: papasuke, sarada
summary: you’re nothing like your mother; everything like your mother
author’s note: sasuke has recently returned to konoha (permanently) and has begun to train with boruto. sarada is around 14 here and a chuunin. ps: feedback is always much appreciated:)


Sasuke Uchiha sits perched in a tree, high above the west side training grounds of Konoha, reserved for newly minted chuunin. He watches his daughter and her team train as Konohamaru Sarutobi shouts about them staying in formation. He asses the children and reasons that the team is well balanced; each child holds their own strengths and their weaknesses are counteracted by the abilities of their teammates.

Naruto’s dobe—son—tellingly, is the most gifted when it comes to chakra. He’s proficient in his taijutsu skills, unlike Naruto, thanks to Hiashi Hyuga who’d rather be damned than have his grandson be clueless as to even the most basic secrets of the gentle fist. In his time training with Sasuke, he’s been able to perfect his rasengan; it varies slightly in chakra nature from his father’s and the Fourth Hokage’s, but it’s powerful nonetheless, and he wields it with confidence as if he created the jutsu himself. Sasuke had to hand it to him, despite his cluelessness, recklessness and stupidity, Boruto was confident and brave—definitely his father’s son.

Mitsuki’s skill is slimy, gruesome and leaves even Sasuke with the slightest pang discomfort. How or when Oorchimaru taught his spawn the body distortion techniques he used so frequently (and frighteningly, Sasuke recalls), was beyond him. The blue haired boy was as precise as he was mysterious, and despite the vivid, raw memories of his old mentor flooding back to him with every move Mitsuki made, Sasuke couldn’t help but feel bad for the boy. He was clearly talented, but he couldn’t imagine how cautious others must have been of him—scary talent wasn’t always as cracked up as it seemed in the shinobi world.

Then there was Sarada, who, he’d never admit to, but, watched over a bit more carefully than the others. He watched as she trained with the diligence, poise and perfection expected of an Uchiha and wielded the same chakra control and fiery spirit of her mother. Fireballs flew from her lips with as much ease as the ground shattered below her fists. She threw shuriken with scary accuracy and spun her sharingan in a way that left Sasuke with no doubt that she had Itachi’s eyes. She weaved through training dummies with a chidori that chirped more violently than his own while her long, dark hair flew behind her.

And Sasuke smiled. He was full to the brim with a kind of pride he never thought he’d feel again—the kind when you’re so proud of your family that it leaves a visible smile that stains your heart forever. He hasn’t felt this way since Itachi was in his life, but he knows what he’s feeling now is even more abundant than the love and pride he felt as a genin baby brother, because Sarada is his daughter, his flesh and blood, and in the simplest of words, she’s incredible.

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The Arrangement (Part 3)

Summary: Dean reflects on your first date, and makes plans. The second date goes a little better, though Dean finds out how good your acting skills really are.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,700

Warnings: language, angst, sexual implications/references (shocking, Dean’s mind is in the gutter)

A/N: Part 3! Hope you guys like it! (not my image, but this is was my Dean inspiration for this part)

Need to catch up? Part 1 - Part 2

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The Other Side of the Bar

Summary: Bartender!Dean AU where he has a bet with you each night to see who can keep a straight face the longest. In Sam’s words, “This was the weirdest damn flirting he’d ever seen.”

Word Count: 2351

Warnings: Fluff!

A/N: I have this headcanon that if it wasn’t for Azazel and the hunting life, Dean would be the happiest guy out there. He would just be loving life and laughing around and basically be a force of nature that always gets what he wants. He would be unstoppable and would be so damn happy. So that’s the version of Dean that I imagined for this AU.

Version en Español: El Otro Lado de la Barro


“Sam, my man!” Terrance bellowed when Sam walked into the bar. Upon seeing his old friend, Sam broke into a smile and gripped his hand, pulling him in for hug. “Our boy Dean didn’t tell me you were in town.”

“Well, finals are finally over and Dean’s been after me about checking out his new bar since he opened it.” Sam glanced around the dimly lit room and couldn’t help but feel impressed. “So I thought I’d surprise him.”

For someone who hadn’t set foot in a college classroom, Dean was actually a pretty good businessman. This was the third bar that he’d opened in Eastern Kansas, and every bar that he owned was doing ridiculously well. When Dean asked Sam to take a look at his finances and make sure that everything looked good, Sam started rethinking his own life plan. If Dean was making that much per bar, then what in the world was Sam thinking, digging himself deeper into debt to get a law degree?

Speaking of Dean, Sam glanced around the packed room in search of his sandy-haired brother. As usual, he was behind the bar talking to a chick. But he wasn’t smiling or joking around like he usually did in the company of any living, breathing female.

“What the hell?” Sam asked, drawing Terrance’s attention. “He’s having an actual conversation with her instead of just flirting?”

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Curly curly curly - Sherlock Holmes x Reader

#5. Doing each other’s hair. Heyyyyyyy , first request for something else than Marvel or DC ! I’m excited :D. Hope you’ll like it :

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

-This is ridiculous.

You sigh for the hundredth times today, and ignore yet again his comment. He scoffs at your lack of vocal reaction, but doesn’t do anything to get away from you, which you took as a good sign. You resumed what you were doing, and turn your head toward the entrance door as you can hear John’s footsteps going up the stairs. 

Without seeing him, you were sure it was John Watson. You’d recognize the way he walked anywhere. Each of his feet on the wooden steps making a particular sound, unique to his way of climbing stairs. You’ve always been able to tell those kind of things…Most people pegged you for a crazy person, or a stalker, as you always knew too much about them before they even spoke to you. Most people…But Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. 

And sure enough, the door opened on a John whose hands were full of groceries. When he saw you, his face brightened, and you smiled back to him. You two became great friends, and John would always have a soft spot for you because of how happy you made his best friend (though Sherlock would scoff at that, calling him a “cheesy pathetic hopeless romantic man”…even though he was right). 

Sherlock didn’t even turn around to greet his friend, still kind of annoyed with you and your stubbornness to…brush his goddamn hair. 

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Assassin Preference: Dancing (with you)

A/N: I kinda assumed this was fairly-formal dancing, but I added in just casual dancing if it applied!

Altair

Altair isn’t the dancing sort of guy. Not when it’s a group of people. He likes to maintain his Assassin image and dancing was not something a ‘true’ Assassin did. Alone, he’ll sometimes hold your hand and slowly move the two of you back and forth across the room. Eventually he has more fun with it, and you swear you’ve never heard him chuckle so much in one hour. It’s a secret the two of you share. The kisses at the end are nice, too.

Ezio

Oh, Ezio adores dancing! It doesn’t matter what the song is; something lively, something more refined, anything! It’s a chance to be close with you, and to show off his excellent footwork (or so he brags), what could possibly be the downside? He steals a few kisses at the end of each song, and asks you for another dance until your feet are too tired to continue. He especially loves dancing with you at parties; look at how lovely you are, and you’re there with him! Dancing with him! What could be better?

Connor

Connor would be hesitant because he’s not quite sure how to dance with you. A few encouraging words from you would help him get started, but you’d have to lead him through the steps. He pays close attention to your feet, trying to mimic your steps, but that means he’s constantly looking down and not at you. You can’t help but smile at his knitted brows and pursed lips, repeating the same step over and over with you until he’s got it. He doesn’t do anything halfway, that’s for sure.

Haytham

Haytham knows how to dance, but he’ll only do it on his terms. Try to get him to dance when he doesn’t want to and he’ll just give you a nettled “Not now, I’m busy” (And yes, he will say this even when he isn’t doing anything productive). When he wants to, he’ll approach you politely and extend a hand, asking for a dance. He’s a great lead, and he knows it too. Just don’t get too big of an ego there, Kenway.

Aveline

Aveline knows how to dance, and can dance well. She would love to dance with you- whether you’re experienced at it or not. She’ll teach you if you’re new, complement your skill if you’re not. Sometimes she’ll get dressed up and go out to a party to dance with you, but she likes spur-of-the-moment dancing too. What makes dancing with her so fun is that she isn’t good at just one style. From straight-laced ballroom dancing to loose and fun kind of dancing where the two of you just make up moves as you follow the rhythm of the song, she’s a practiced expert.

Edward

Edward’s not much of a dancer. He doesn’t want to be called Captain Tippy Toes for the rest of his life, and trust me, most of his pirate buddies wouldn’t hesitate to call him something like that. If he had to for, say, a mission where blending into high society was a crucial part and there was dancing, then sure. Maybe. He wouldn’t be happy about it and he’d still try to convince you not to dance with him. He’d say he was a bad dancer, two left feet and all that, or maybe he ate too much of that fancy turtle soup (which he also complained about because who ate turtles for fun?), but you know he’s just giving you excuse after excuse. If by some stroke of luck he’s dancing with you, he’s not half bad. Definitely not the oaf he claimed to be. He lacks the formal training of the upper class, but he didn’t make a fool of himself. It surprised him just as much as it surprised you.

Arno

He can dance. Of course he can dance. He’ll dance with you if he gets the chance, but he doesn’t get as many chances as he’d like. Sometimes, on a slow evening, he’ll take your hand and sway with you to no particular music. One (or both) of you start to hum along, making your own songs as you go. It’s one of the things he loves doing no matter how he’s feeling. There’s something so normal about it. So slow, so gentle. Even if it’s a spirited dance- he’s used to getting shot at and having to always look over his shoulder, dancing definitely doesn’t get his adrenaline pumping (which, quite frankly, is nice. Too much adrenaline and coffee is not a good mix).  

Evie

She doesn’t dance. That’s what she told you. You found that hard to believe- she had to at least know how to dance, right? With her grace, it wasn’t a far-fetched assumption to make. Well, you were right- she can dance. But you really didn’t want to ask for a dance after seeing her “waltz” with Starrick. Yeah… you wouldn’t press the matter any further even if you weren’t in danger of her leading with her right foot. You’re just content to know that one day, when she finally wants to dance, she knows how (and can teach you if you do not).

Jacob

Jacob? Dancing? He’s one of the leaders of London’s largest crime syndicate! Do you think he won the boroughs over by dancing?! (Well, now that you mention it…) He’s a gang boss, not some… some… poncy stuffed politician! Do you want him to wear one of those infernal suits again? Don’t answer- I already know your answer. What do you mean you’ve seen him practicing to impress you? That never happened. Never! You have no proof! And you say he’s actually quite good when he thinks no one is watching? What? Ridiculous!

Desmond

Desmond is good at dancing next to you. Not so good at the whole ‘with you’ part. Who ballroom dances anymore? Not Desmond, that’s for sure. Not that he’s against trying- he just never learned how to do it properly. He’s also not the best dancer even in a situation where he knows what he’s doing, but it’s endearing. Why does he move his hips so much? What’s that goofy smile always on his face? He will always look at you while dancing, to watch your face go a little red and that one half-embarrassed, half-adoring smile spread across your face. It’s one of the best parts about dancing, in his opinion.

Homegrown, grass-fed, organic Coach Bittle headcanons

(This got really long and fluffy. Sorry.)

Coach looks like a scary dude, but he’s actually a big softie. He has a really intimidating resting bitch face, and a more intimidating murder face, but he would rather eat shit than say shit.

Coach is hella passive aggressive. If you mess with him he’ll be all like, “Wah, I was always taught to turn the other cheek. Hate the sin, love the sinner.” But then he’ll blind copy your boss and forward your emails if he feels like you’re being rude. Or he’ll hand out invitations to a cookout to everyone except you.

And it’s really interesting because Suzanne Bittle is the opposite. She is small and very sweet, but if you mess with her she ascends through passive aggressive and straight into aggressive-aggressive. Like, in high school Bitty had a lot of trouble with this one teacher. Not the subject material, but the teacher. Bitty would ask for help or clarification and the teacher would basically do the academic equivalent of “No, fuck off and die.” And then this teacher would “lose” Bitty’s assignments periodically, and he would grade Bitty’s tests way harder than anyone else’s.

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First Love // Lee Donghyuck

-

the prompt: can I request a donghyuck fluff scenario, can it be set like in high-school and you’re a year older so often come over to help mark study at the dorms which is when he sees you!! and he’s really nervous around you & the older boys notice except mark

words: 1309

category: fluff

author note: if haechan doesn’t get off my bias list i am going to slap someone the boy has been looking too good lately. i feel like i suddenly realized i love my best friend since childhood. anyway i thought this was cute so enjoy!

- destinee

Originally posted by haenyan

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Jack’s first time back at the haus since he left is coming and he and bits decide it’s time to come out to the boys. They feel kinda guilty about hiding it because they don’t want them to feel untrustworthy.

‘What are we gonna say’ bits asks over skype. And a normal person would probably just gather everyone together and explain the situation and thank everyone for their support but. Please.

What they actually do is decide to just… Cozy up and act couple-y and let the guys approach them. Then there’s no awkward announcement and they also have an excuse to get close for Jack’s visit. This is a great plan they both think and air high-five each other because they’re nerds like that.

The day of the visit rolls around and Bittle is in a fit cooking up a storm, a little nervous but mostly just excited. And nervous. It doesn’t help that the haus is chock full. Everyone dropped by to see Jack. Even the tadpoles have all come up with flimsy excuses to hang around.

Bittle recognizes the sound of Jack’s engine as it pulls up to the curb and he’s off like a shot. Jack’s barely out of the truck before Bits is at the curb, and they hug so hard he’s lifted off the ground and Jack spins him in a circle.

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Entertain Me

Music blared through the hallways of Riverdale High as I stood outside with the two guys. I pressed my cigarette to my crimson-tinted lips and took one last drag before dropping it on the steps and crushing it with my shoe. 

“Ready?” Kevin asked, his arm slung casually round Joaquin’s waist. 

“Let’s just get this over with” I muttered and pushed the door open. Kitsch banners hung from the ceiling and paper hearts scattered the hallway. I rolled my eyes at the sight and followed the music to the cafeteria. 

A sea of students greeted my eyes. Some were dancing, some were chatting at tables, some were watching the three girls on stage. Joaquin and Kevin walked in right behind me and Kevin let out a low whistle. 

“Impressive, right?” A pretty blonde girl approached us and hugged Kevin. I turned to look at Joaquin with pleading eyes. 

“You promised.” he muttered in my ear. 

It’s true, I had promised. After four games of pool the night before Joaquin and I had decided whoever broke the tie would have to do the other’s bidding. Had I won, I would have made him do something stupid like make him drive his motorbike blindfolded. But luck was not on my side and my payment was to accompany him to a Riverdale dance. 

“Fuck’s sake, man” I had shouted at him. “Anything but that”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun! You might find yourself a nice rich kid.” Joaquin had said with a dashing smile. 

At least I’d been able to come on my own terms. Maybe Joaquin was happy to wear his ridiculous suit and try and blend in with all the posh idiots, but I wasn’t going to stoop that low. 

“Y/N, this is Betty” Kevin said with a broad smile. “Y/N is a friend of Joaquin’s.” 

I shook Betty’s hand briefly. 

“It’s so nice you decided to come along.” She sounded genuine so I decided to give her a chance. 

“Thanks. I like your dress” I said, indicating her long peachy outfit. 

“Thank you!” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I like your… jacket.” 

“You’ll like the back even more” I said with a wink and turned to show her the Serpent emblem on the back. 

“I told her not to wear that” Joaquin mumbled and Betty looked a bit uncomfortable. I smirked to myself. Rich kids were so easy to unsettle. 

“Shall we find a table?” Kevin tried to break the silence.

“Jug, Ronnie and I have a table back there.” Betty scurried off towards a gorgeous dark-haired girl and a kid I recognised. I followed. 

Introductions were made and I nodded at Jughead “Aren’t you FP’s son?” 

Brow furrowed he nodded in reply. 

“He talks a lot about you, doesn’t he?” I said jabbing Joaquin in the chest with my elbow. 

But Joaquin was too busy making out with Kevin to notice me. Rolling my eyes I slipped my hand into my jacket pocket and pulled out a flask. I took a swig and offered it to Jughead who refused. 

Veronica accepted and took a sip. Jughead and Betty slipped off toward the dancefloor and the two guys were still in a battle of the tongues. 

“Not that I’m against a bit of PDA…” Veronica said to me in a staged whisper. 

“Yeah, I could do without it” I said taking another swig of my vodka. 

“You didn’t bring a date?” Veronica asked. 

“Nope. And believe me, I’m not here willingly.”

A grin spread across her face. “Well, you never know.. You may yet find someone to entertain you.” She looked round. “In fact, this is my plan for the night. Tell me your type.”

I bit back a comment about how rich kids were not my type because this girl seemed like she might be fun. I shrugged. “I don’t really have one.”

“Well are you more of a Kim or Kanye kind of girl?” 

“Oh she’s a bit of both, aren’t you?” Kevin said, finally untangling himself from my friend. 

“How can you tell?” I asked surprised. 

“Please! It’s written all over you. I can smell the bisexuality.” 

Everyone laughed and I found myself relaxing a bit around these kids. Passing my flask to Joaquin I pointed to a tall guy with dark hair. “Tell me about him.”

“Oooh, Reggie!” Veronica said excitedly. “He’s your run-of-the-mill jock really. Head of the football team, hot but -”

“Dull?” I finished. “Yeah maybe not. How about him?”

The game went on for a while, me pointing out more and more unlikely people and Kevin and Veronica giving me all the scoop about them. Eventually Kevin and Joaquin headed for the dancefloor and I was left with Veronica. 

“I’ve nearly run out of vodka” I muttered tilting the bottle this way and that to estimate the remaining liquid. 

Veronica, who was quite tipsy by now, ignored me and called over people’s heads: “There’s my Archiekins!”

A red-haired kid joined us, snaking an arm round Veronica’s shoulders. 

“Y/N this is Archiekins. Archiekins this is my new friend, Y/N.” 

Archie grinned at me and Veronica continued, leaning across our table towards me. “Archie and I are sort of seeing each other but we haven’t told anyone.” Archie looked at her alarmed. “But you won’t tell, will you?” 

“I won’t.” I reassured her. 

“Good, because we haven’t told Betty or Kev-” but I drowned Veronica’s speech out as my gaze fell upon the one. The girl I now knew I’d been waiting for all night.

“Ronnie, who’s that?” I interrupted and inclined my head in the direction of the gorgeous girl. 

Veronica and Archie turned to see who I was looking at. “Oh no, Y/N, you don’t want to mess with her. That’s Cheryl Blossom.” 

Cheryl Blossom. 

I rose out of my seat my eyes fixed upon the fiery hair, sure if I lost her in the crowd that she’d slip away and I’d never find her again. “Y/N, I really don’t think it’s a good idea…” Veronica called after me but I was already walking into the crowd of students. 

I walked right up to her. Of course, she didn’t fail to notice me. Her eyes bore into mine, lip curled in a derisive smirk. 

“What do you want, freak?” she asked me imperiously. I could instantly tell her type - entitled, bossy, mean girl. 

“Do you have a light?” I asked calmly. She looked rather taken aback. 

“No.” Maybe she was thrown by the way I was looking at her. I knew her type and I knew how to make them squirm. 

“Well, is that it? Or are you going to just stand here and gawk?” She asked regaining some of her confidence. 

“Nope, I’m going.” I turned away, ensuring that my hair swished just enough and that my hips swayed as I walked away. 

Once outside I leaned against the wall and lit my cigarette, exhaling in a cloud of grey smoke. The night was mild, starry and full of promise. 

I wasn’t halfway through my cigarette when I heard the sound of heels walking my way. A waft of honey swept over me. Was that her shampoo? 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. 

I tapped my cigarette against my mouth in answer and watched her gaze travel from my face to stop at my lips. 

“I can see that, you chimney. I mean, what are you doing here?”

“I was invited” I shrugged. 

“This dance is for Riverdale students, not Southside squatters.”

“I see.” I threw my cigarette down and took a step towards her. “I’ll be on my way then.” 

“Good.” 

I was standing very near her by now. “Unless you’d prefer me to stay, Cheryl Blossom.” 

“How do you know my name, you stalker?” she asked in an accusitory tone but her eyes didn’t leave mine. 

“I’m Y/N.” I said quietly. 

“Well, Y/N, why don’t you head off home, then?” 

“Now that I know how much my presence annoys you, I think I might stay” I said and turned on my heel back into the hallway. 

“Oh. No. You. Don’t!” Cheryl shouted behind me. “I organised this dance from start to finish. And you were never meant to be part of it.” 

“Too bad, gorgeous. I’m here now and, against my better judgement, I’m having fun.” 

She had caught up with me and stood there fuming. Inadvertently, my eyes strayed to her lips. But I had to contain myself, I couldn’t kiss her, not until it was the right time.

In a cloud of red hair and honey-sweet smell Cheryl pounced and her lips were hungry against mine. A knot I didn’t know existed tightened round my stomach and I felt near suffocation. It was the most amazing feeling. 

She pulled away, backing up to lean on one of the lockers. “Everything happens on my terms, Southside. Now leave my dance.” 

“Actually, I think it happens on my terms” I muttered and pulled her back against my lips. Her body melted against mine and the music and laughter sounded very far away now. Everything was just Cheryl’s lips on mine and my hands in her hair. 

“After-party at yours, Cher?” a jock called as he passed. 

Cheryl unglued her lips from mine just long enough to shout back at him “Find somewhere else, loser.” Then quietly, “I’m busy tonight”

It looks like it was worth going to the stupid dance after all.

A/N: This is my first fic on here. This just randomly came to me a few days ago. Hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any ideas for stuff for me to write. xoxo

Over Again. (Jeon Jungkook.)

Requested – No.

Prompt – Jungkook is at an all time high point in his career and nothing can possibly bring him down, but a girl from his past stumbles upon his life that he never wanted to see again.

Warning – Angst, quite a bit of cursing. By the way, bear with me about the Korean names. I kind of just looked a couple ones up.

Words – 2,008. 

Requests?

Part 2. 

Part 3. 

Flashback.

There are certain moments in a person’s life that makes someone stronger. It could be an act of love that keeps them going, but it also can be an act of hatred that motivates them to do better. Each instant in a person’s life is significant because it can always lead to an event or an occurrence that can change a person’s life. Every word and every action said to a person can be held onto forever.

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Fic:
Your Dearest

Author: Billowsandbreeze

Rating: T for flirting

Pairing: Jaal Ama Darav x Sierra Ryder

Summary: Sierra receives an email from Jaal and feelings are laid bare.

Author’s Notes: I wanted to try to capture that gut-clenching, excited, nervous moment right when a flirting relationship is about to take that next step. Jaal’s emails were so good at inducing that feeling. So, hopefully I did it justice.

(Spoilers for Jaal’s emails. I included the full text of one in this.)


“Good morning, Pathfinder.”

Groaning, Sierra throws an arm across her face as the cabin lights brighten too soon against the back of her lids.

She grumbles beneath her breath and rolls into her pillow. “You don’t have to do that as soon as you feel me wake up, SAM. Give me at least five minutes to get my bearings.”

“Noted, Pathfinder.” There’s a momentary pause. “You have unread email at your terminal.”

Taking in a deep breath, Sierra blinks rapidly, trying to erase the fatigue and sleep from her eyes. SAM clearly isn’t going to let her stay in bed any longer, and he’s right to do so. The display on her nightstand tells her they’re almost to Kadara. So, with another groan, she sits up.

“Okay,” she says in a rushing exhale and gets to her feet. She runs a hand through her hair and makes her way to the terminal. Email first, then coffee, and then Kadara Port.

The messages are routine—Tann reminding her of their position on the outlaws, a colonist on Eos asking for help, Lexi sending her diagrams of yoga poses to help with her stress—but one toward the bottom catches her eye.

A communication from your friend Jaal

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So, I’ve been seeing a few post about future Captain Bitty and I love them, and they gave me an amazing AU idea.

Bitty being older than canon and having his freshman year with Johnson. What does this mean you ask? Jack would still be older just with smaller age gap, but more importantly, it means that on his second year, Bitty became Captain.

That’s right, Captain Bitty to frogs Jack and Shitty.

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anonymous asked:

okay but how do you think a Jake honeypot date would go down because I have never read anything more amazing in my life

@natcat5 whose brilliant idea this is. 

  • Marco volunteers for the date immediately, as the only one on the team who is single and desperate.  (Although, he admits, not desperate enough to sleep with a controller under any circumstances.)  The thing is, though, that Sub-Visser Three-Eighty-One has a type: every guy Ax and Tobias have seen her flirting with in the two weeks they’ve been following her around has been tall, dark, and handsome.
    • Everyone on the team (especially Jake) somewhat doubts Jake’s ability to act well enough to play the part, but the only idea worse than sending Jake would be sending Ax to do it, so he reluctantly volunteers for the mission.
  • The setup goes more or less according to plan: Jake arranges to bump into the sub-visser coming out of a Sharing meeting, and to their enormous luck she becomes the one to ask him for a phone number.  Jake suggests the time and the place, though, and doesn’t have to fake enthusiastic relief when she agrees.
  • The day of, Rachel spends nearly two hours dressing Jake in various combinations of the seven pairs of pants, eighteen shirts, and five and a half jackets that she bought for the occasion, before Jake throws up his hands and announces that he’s going naked if this nonsense doesn’t end soon.
    • Marco immediately declares that that would be a brilliant way to get Sub-Visser Three-Eighty-One dancing to their tune.  
    • Cassie shyly volunteers the opinion that Jake looks nice no matter what he’s wearing.  
    • Rachel tells them both to shut up, on the grounds that Jake getting arrested for public indecency would be just as bad for their plan as him showing up in the ill-fitting basketball shirt and ripped jeans he wore when he left the house this morning.
  • After Rachel’s initial attempt to teach Jake to flirt with her crashes and burns (“You’re the closest thing I have to a sister!  I can’t just flirt with you!”) she substitutes Cassie into her own role.  To her surprise, that manages to go even worse.
    • “Cassie,” Jake says, blushing so much he looks ready to pass out.  “I like many things about you.  You’re the sweetest person I know, and you’re brilliant at not just morphing, but, like, understanding the morphing.  Oh, and you’re really smart at other stuff besides.  You get people so fast, and there are all these things in science class that go way over my head that you pick up right away.  And even though I was mad about it at the time, I thought it was cool that you saved those baby skunks—”
    • “CUT!” Rachel yells.  
    • “You told me to compliment her,” Jake says indignantly.  Cassie is currently examining the toes of her shoes with intense fascination, and appears to be fighting a fit of the giggles.
    • Rachel sighs loudly.  “Not her personality.  Think more physical.”
    • Jake takes a huge breath and draws himself up again.  “You are, like, super strong for a girl,” he tells Cassie. “For anyone, really.  That time when you pried that fox’s jaws open to make it vomit up the wolf poison—”
    • “CUT!  Cassie, Marco, switch places!”
    • All three of them stare at Rachel in surprise for a second.  Marco becomes the first to react, sidling up and sliding his arm through Jake’s.  “So,” he coos.  “Why’d a big strong man like you want to go out with little old me, anyway?”
    • “Because…” Jake glances at Rachel, who makes go on gestures.  “Because of your hair.  It’s very, uh, nicely done.”
    • Marco flips a few strands away from his face.  “You really think it turned out okay?  I only had time to run a brush through it a few times on the way over.”
    • “Yes,” Jake says firmly.  “It is nice hair.  And… you are… Notlikeothergirls!”
    • Marco bats his eyelashes, grinning now.  “You really mean that?”
    • Jake attempts to smile as well.  “I have never in my life met anyone like you, Marco.  Seriously.”
    • “Now you’re getting it,” Rachel announces.  She and Marco high-five at their own brilliance.  Unseen, Jake and Cassie exchange a mutually baffled look and a shrug of bemusement.
  • Jake sets off for the date trailed fifty feet up by a red-tailed hawk and a northern harrier.  He’s not sure why he’s wearing three shirts right now, or why the collars on all three are sticking straight up in the air (“Trust me,” Rachel insisted, “this is gonna be all over the country five years from now.”) like he’s a pastel version of Dracula.  He’s also hoping he can take the weird flat sunglasses off soon—Rachel instructed him to hang them from the v-neck of his topmost shirt when he does—because the weather’s overcast and he feels ridiculous.
    • “What do we know so far?” he asks Tobias.
    • <Apparently, our dear little alien friend works in an arcade downtown, and is a big fan of shopping in her spare time.  Likes: purple fabrics, smelling flowers, and spicy tacos from food trucks.  Dislikes: dogs, dog owners, seriously don’t mention Homer, and small children.>
    • <Her selection of tacos was most excellent,> Ax adds.  <The driver of that food truck adds large quantities of a wonderful substance known as Sriracha to his meat and meat by-products.>
    • <So we may have sampled the taco truck ourselves.  Strictly for research purposes,> Tobias admits.  <And yeah, Sub-Visser whatever’s got taste.  Or Stacy does, jury’s still out on that one.>
    • “Stacy?” Jake asks, as loud as he dares.
    • <The name of her host?> Tobias says.  <Seriously?  Were you planning on walking up to her and being like ‘well, hello there, Iriess one-thirty-two’?>
    • “Stacy,” Jake mutters to himself, rather than admitting he forgot.  “Stacy.  Stacy, Stacy, Stacy, Stacy, Stacy.”
    • <And now you sound nuts, which should make a real good first impression.>
  • At Tobias’s urging, Jake stops at a stand outside a greengrocer’s and buys a dozen daffodils for her.  He’s not sure if he’s allowed to take off the sunglasses when he’s standing under the shade of the awning, even though they make it very difficult to count out bills and change.  He does know that he is not under any circumstances to push them back into his hair, because then all the gel will make a weird crunching noise and Rachel will boil him in oil when she finds his spikes deformed.  He could probably fit the entire bouquet into one of the ridiculously large pockets on the pants that he’s certain are three sizes too large, but he tucks it under his arm instead.  “I hate this,” he mutters.
    • <Be cool,> Tobias says.  <If I could do meet-cute with Taylor in the middle of a coffee shop, you can survive ninety minutes of pumping a yeerk for recruitment tactics and Sharing plans.>
    • <I would recommend against bringing up Tobias’s decision to meet Taylor alone last March if you wish Rachel to leave the restaurant standing, Prince Jake.>
    • Jake gives them both a sickly smile of gratitude.
  • The initial meet’n’greet outside the restaurant goes reasonably well: Sub-Visser Three-Eighty-One exclaims over the daffodils, Jake remembers to call her “Stacy,” and with effort he ignores the skin-crawly sensation of Cassie (now a housefly) landing in his hair.  By the time they make it into the restaurant, Tobias and Rachel are already posed at a different table with baseball caps in place, while Marco shuffles around in a white apron busing tables and Ax (despite eight or nine promises that this time he’ll be cool around food) remains safely out of sight and out of morph on the roof.  If anything goes catastrophically wrong, the plan is for Cassie to alert Marco, who will create a diversion by overturning a dish cart while Rachel and Tobias hastily duck under the tablecloth of their own table—Rachel to morph, Tobias to demorph—as Ax provides everyone cover.  Jake’s pretty sure that if his date wants to shoot him in the head there’ll be nothing the others can do in time to stop her, but at least he knows he probably won’t end up forcibly made into a controller by the end of the evening.
  • Rachel, blatantly eavesdropping even as she holds Tobias’s hand across the table and they stare into each other’s eyes (if anyone starts looking at them too closely they start loudly sucking face) has to admit that Jake does better than she would have expected.  He asks “Stacy” where she got her shoes, laughs in a way that’s only slightly moronic when she compliments his sunglasses, and (after Tobias calls out a suggestion in thought-speak) even remembers to pull her chair out for her before she sits down.  
  • As instructed, Jake waits until after they’ve already ordered their food to turn the conversation to the reason they went to all this trouble in the first place.  He’s pretty pleased with how things are going so far, although then again he might just be light-headed from the smell of the instatan Rachel sprayed on him earlier.
    • “So,” he says.  “You’re part of the Sharing, right?  How’d you get into that in the first place?”
    • Ireiss 132 tosses a lock of Stacy’s hair over her shoulder.  “My older sister got me into it, actually.  She kept begging me and begging me to join, and then one time I just—Hey, you okay?”
    • Jake forces a laugh, doing his best not to think of Stacy, to think of Tom, to think but for the grace of God... “Sure.  Just, uh, zoned for a second.  So, the Sharing does a lot of recruitment events, right?”
    • <Don’t make her suspicious,> Tobias says unhelpfully.  <Just keep her on her toes.>
    • “Yeah, we’ve got volleyball days, cookouts on the beach, whole weekends upstate…”  She leans forward a little across the table.  “You interested in joining?”
    • <Say yes!> Cassie suggests, at almost exactly the same time Tobias says, <Tell her ‘hell no.’>  Marco, standing across the room, makes eye contact with Jake long enough to shake his head emphatically, just as Tobias adds, <Actually Rachel says to tell her yes.>
    • Jake closes his eyes for a second to find the patience not to swat at the back of his head and then throw a full plate of food at the next table over.  “I don’t know, really,” he says diplomatically.  “What do you guys do, anyway, besides sit around and eat hamburgers?”
    • “It’s all about community outreach,” Ireiss 132 says, apparently not noticing Jake’s hesitation.  “We do days where we clean up litter at the park, we raise money to fund cancer research—”
    • <Of course they do,> Cassie says darkly.  <Can’t have anything wrong with their prospective slaves, right?>
    • Jake, having missed the end of that sentence, has to make an educated guess.  “Sounds pretty cool.  Don’t you have, like, celebrity endorsements?”
    • “Oh, sure.  There’s Jeremy Jason McCole, William Roger Tennant…” Ireiss ticks the names off on Stacy’s left hand.  “That blond lady with the cooking show, Senator Malesin, Senator Argo, Angelina Jolie—”
    • <Angelina Jolie?> Tobias says.  
    • Cassie gasps.  <But she seems like such a nice lady on TV!>
    • <Who is Angelina Jolie?  Is Prince Jake okay?>
    • <He’s fine.  However, Rachel would like me to pass along a few comments with strong language about Angelina Jolie’s lifestyle, dress, and immediate ancestors.>
    • “Shut up!” Jake hisses.
    • Ireiss blinks at him a few times.
    • Jake clears his throat.  “I just mean…” He changes his inflection.  “Shut up!  As in, you’re kidding me!  You think maybe I could meet her sometime?”
    • “Join the Sharing,” Ireiss says.  “We could make it happen.  Once you get initiated as a full member your whole life opens up before you—you can’t imagine what it’s like.”
    • Jake forces another smile.  He picks up his fork.  This helps him to avoid giving into the urge to clamp both hands over his ears, slide under the table, and scream something about how they can never have his body.  He can imagine the experience a little too well, and it’s not something he’s ever letting happen again.  
  • Nonetheless, Jake manages to keep lightly deflecting Ireiss’s recruitment attempts while also digging for information, clear through until Marco—with a flourish—brings them a plate of mini cannoli for dessert.  After he ducks away from their table he sweeps over to begin polishing the corner of Rachel and Tobias’s.
    • <Marco says he wants you to save him one, because they look delicious,> Tobias says a minute later.
    • Jake, who has just been distracted in the middle of Ireiss’s description of how they draw in community members to Sharing meetings, makes a mental note to define the term radio silence for the entire team when they get home.  Then he picks up the last cannoli, very pointedly licks it, and puts it back on the plate uneaten.
    • <Marco says, and I quote, that there are ‘children starving in Montana’ that you are ‘not the man he fell in love with,’ and that he is ‘wounded to the depths of his soul.’  By the way, you do know not to offer to pay for dinner, right?  Because you don’t actually want to get a second date out of this.>
    • “You were saying?” Jake says loudly.
    • Ireiss clears Stacy’s throat.  “Oh, just that we really feel reaching out to vulnerable kids—as through the youth shelter I mentioned, and the after-school program—is the best way to offer them the Sharing as an alternative to gang membership.”
    • Jake dearly hopes that someone is taking notes on all of this, because if he suffered through the application of that much instatan for nothing he’s going to strangle someone.  “That’s really cool.  So is there, like, a place where you keep track of all the Sharing’s full members?  Some kind of database or something?”
    • <Too strong, too strong,> Cassie says.  
    • <Prince Jake, Cassie and Tobias have now been in morph for one-hundred-eight of your minutes.  May I suggest that you put a wrap in it?>
    • <So close, Ax-Man, and yet so far.>
    • “…nothing that formal,” Ireiss is saying.  “Hoping for more celebrities?”
    • “You know what?”  Jake stands up.  “It’s been real.  But I’ve got a thing, so…”
    • Tobias is right: he emphatically doesn’t want a second date.  Waving at Stacy, Jake pivots and walks out the door without another word.
  • They assemble in Cassie’s barn later that evening, Jake attempting to get one of Cassie’s horse-brushes through the horrible gel-stiff mess of his hair as everyone else trickles in.  “Okay,” he says wearily, when they’re all present, “What did we learn today?”
    • “For starters,” Marco says, “That Tobias is apparently romantic as hell.  Were I not healthily terrified of your beautiful and homicidal cousin, I would already be trying to hit that like a—”
    • <Before you can go any further, no.>  Tobias glares at Marco.  <Also, to answer your next question, I am also not interested in a threesome.>
    • Besides that.”  Jake rubs a hand over his face, smearing the makeup that Rachel insisted isn’t makeup across his skin.  “What else?”
    • “I learned that, on second thought, lime green is not your color.”  Rachel frowns.  “I’m not sure the look works at all.  You can take the boy out of the WalMart jeans, but you can’t take the WalMart jeans out of the boy, I guess.”
    • “Can we please stay on topic?” Jake asks.
    • “Angelina Jolie’s a controller.”  Cassie smiles sympathetically at Jake.  “So are two of California’s state senators, and a handful of B-list actors.  The Sharing is recruiting at the youth shelter, which is just all kinds of gross and awful, and they’re making a push to move into more schools across the county.”
    • <Also,> Ax adds, <We have the names of several more businesses that have donated to the Sharing, and are therefore possible yeerk pool entrances.  I suggest we start with further research on Burt’s Taco Truck, although I sincerely doubt that any yeerk would have that magnificent grasp of the subtleties of spicy and umami.  Still, it warrants much more extensive exploration.>
  • They rehash everything Ireiss 132 said, hinted at, or confirmed in response to Jake’s questions for nearly two more hours.  By the end of it they’ve got a decent plan in place for how to ensure the Sharing can’t spread any more feelers into any more parts of the community, and the beginnings of an idea for how to discredit the whole organization.  By then it’s getting late, so Jake and Marco and Rachel all split off to head home.
    • There’s a note pinned on the fridge when Jake walks in.  Midget— Some chick keeps calling the house wanting to know when she’ll see you again.  Call her back or get rid of her, but stop clogging up the line with your dumb teenage nonsense.
    • Jake stares at it in incredulity for several seconds.  “Goddamn yeerks,” he says at last, and balls it up to throw in the trash.