My immune system as an incompetent army:

Me **catches minor viral infection**

“Oh no something’s wrong! We’re freaking out!”

Chill out its a cold, just attack the virus and we’ll be fine

“We’re not trained for this! Better just bomb EVERYTHING to be sure!!”

No please don’t do that it’s totally unnecessary

“Have to! WHAT IF THE JOINTS ARE SPIES FOR THE ENEMY”