SHES-STARING-AT-ME

anonymous asked:

Can you write a short story about someone with depression and how they feel, please and thank you. I just read some of your other short stories and you have a skill in writing!

Sorry the super late reply! 

Our eyes were locked on one another. She stared at me and I stared back. I thought of the words. Everything I wanted to say. All my troubles. All my worries. All my pain.

She would listen. She would have to. Right? Right. I close my eyes.

“It’s not getting better. I can feel the darkness spreading through me. I sit alone in my room and it engulfs me. I feel it in my head. My heart. My hands. It weighs me down. It devours my soul. It feeds on every emotion besides pain and sadness. The two that I wish it would eat more than the others. Some days…I want it to be over. It would be easier, right?” I keep my eyes closed. I wait for a response. Nothing. So I continue on. “Half of me wants to die and the other half is holding out for something better. It will get better. I know that. I just can’t see it yet. I just wish that someone could reach in and take the darkness from me. But I don’t want anyone to bear that weight. I don’t even know if theres anyone strong enough to shoulder it. I think…It would be cruel to let them.”

Silence. Maybe I had scared her. Maybe she didn’t care. I really hoped she would still be standing in front of me when I was brave enough to open my eyes.

I sighed. The words, felt wrong. I felt wrong. I wanted to take them back and let them sit in my chest, filling it with misery. “I’m so alone. Even surrounded by my family, kids at school and counsellors…I feel alone. I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracks on the last words and my eyes begin to sting. “Please,” It sounds like a whine. I open my eyes. She’s still standing there. “Tell me what to do.”
She doesn’t say anything. She only stares at me blankly. Sadly. Broken. My reflection doesn’t leave me. But it doesn’t help me. I feel alone even looking back at myself. I want to break the mirror. I want to throw it against the wall. Crush the shards to pieces. Then it would give a small resemblance to how I feel.

Code Silver Part 9

“What?”
“Nothing.”
She sighed, returning to her paperwork. Amelia was itching to get home and forget this entire tiresome day had ever happened and Owen was, quite frankly, making it worse by staring at her with his googly eyes. And it was blatant staring, too. “Why are you staring at me?” she huffed, turning to face him.
“I’m not staring,” he replied innocently, a creepy smile plastered on his face. She rolled her eyes, putting her attention back to the iPad. Over the moon to finally get home, Amelia immediately plopped down on the family couch with a bar of chocolate in her hand. “Rough day?” Meredith asked as she passed through heading to the kitchen, watching Amelia destroy the chocolate bar.
“Rough is an understatement,” she replied, her face stuffed full of the milky goodness. Meredith chuckled, leaving to put the kids to sleep as Amelia reached for the TV remote, taking another bite of the bar.
Knock knock.
“Can you get that for me, Amelia?” Meredith asked from down the hall.
“Sure,” she yelled back, not really wanting to leave the couch after finding the “sweet spot”. Dramatically dragging herself off, she trudged towards the door.
“Hi,” Owen beamed as soon as she opened it, the creepy smile still there. Oh god, not him again, she thought.
“Didn’t get a good enough look at the hospital?” Amelia remarked, breaking off another piece of her chocolate. So maybe he was staring, Owen thought. And lurking. It wasn’t his best plan, but he figured if she saw him enough times that she may have remembered. Anxious, determined and not wanting to waste any time, he put Plan B into action: lurking outside her house. “I brought water,” he raised the bottle of sparkling water towards her, “it’s lime.”
“I hate sparkling water,” she responded flatly. She was starting to think that the only thing stalking her, more than Owen, was sparkling water.
“No you don’t,” he challenged, “I’ve known you for three years, I think I would know if you liked it or not.”
“Right, of course,” she surrendered, remembering that little detail, “Were you always this annoying when we were together?”
“Only on the weekends,” he joked. He watched as she took another bite of the chocolate, dying to bury himself in her tight, purple v-neck shirt and baggy sweatpants. He stuck his hand out to her, reassuring her when she suspiciously watched him, “It’s just water. A gift.” She narrowed her eyes, taking the bottle with her free hand. When their hands brushed, she felt the familiar tingle she had before when he handed her the coffee. “Thank you,” she said, swallowing the melted chocolate in her mouth. Instinctively, Owen reached for her face, wiping the stray chocolate at the side of her mouth with his thumb. At the same time, she grabbed his hand, eventually allowing him to wipe the chocolate off. “Sorry,” he sheepishly admitted, acknowledging her resistance as he licked his finger, “force of habit.”

There was a brief pause, as if Owen was trying to strike up the bravery to touch her. The pause didn’t last very long as he hesitantly brought his hand to her face, leaning in-

“Amelia?” Owen was snapping his fingers in her face, wondering if she’d even heard any of what he said just now.
“Sorry, I just remembered something,” she replied distantly. Silently having a party in his mind, Owen smiled, “Mind if I ask?” he begun, watching as Amelia put the bottle down on the varnished floor. She inched out of the doorway and closer to him, looking up to make full eye contact this time. Ignoring her returning headache, along with its new reintegrated memories, she allowed her hand to stray as the memories flowed freely, lightly touching the knuckles of Owen’s tightened fist. “I remember,” she whispered, feeling the volts of electricity flow from his hand to hers, “thinking how blue your eyes were in the night time.” She moved closer again, closing her eyes as she inhaled his cologne. He tensed his jaw as her body drifted towards him, struggling not to make a move before she did. In a whisper so low he could barely hear, she added, “I remember how amazing you’d smell after work.” Unable to keep his hands off of her, he pulled her to him, holding on to the small of her back as she continued, smiling a little as she described her senses, “And I think I remember…” He watched as she opened her eyes abruptly, looking at his lips. She tiptoed a little to reach his face as he brought his head down a little, their noses touching and rubbing slightly against each other. She tried to finish her train of thought, “I remember-” Her eyes began to flutter closed as she anticipated his almost familiar lips.
“Owen, what are you doing?” Meredith inquired, her arms folded as she leant against the door frame. Both Amelia and Owen leapt out of each other’s grasps as if they were teenagers being caught by their parents, “Didn’t Dr. Wyatt tell you to-”
“I was actually just on my way,” Owen hastily replied, cutting her off, “just wanted to say hi. Am I not allowed to say hi?” He was rambling now as he walked backwards, almost tripping over one of the steps, “Have good night!” He waved, turning away briskly, almost jogging back to the trailer. Meredith watched Amelia condescendingly after he was out of sight. “What?” she asked, pretending as if Meredith hadn’t seen the intimacy occurring between her and Owen only a while before.
“Didn’t Dr. Wyatt tell you to keep-”
“I was keeping a reasonable distance,” she wagered, “I didn’t touch him.” She picked up the rejected sparkling water and headed inside, ending the conversation between the two. Meredith sighed, closing the door behind her, opening it to let Derek in a few hours later. “Hello my beautiful wife,” Derek said, pulling her in for a kiss, “what has you so upset at this wonderstruck hour of midnight?”
“Aside from you making me get out of bed to open the door for you?” she replied sarcastically, “Owen stopped by earlier.”
“Oh really?” Derek asked nonchalantly, reaching for an apple on the kitchen island as he set his stuff down, “What’d he come for?”
Meredith sighed, taking a seat, “Who else? He’s been breathing down her neck the entire of today and then I caught them almost sucking faces on our front porch.”
He took a bite of the apple, taking off his coat to hang it by the door. When he returned, he continued their conversation, “Remind me again why this is a bad thing? He is her fiancé, after all.”
“One she can’t remember,” Meredith added, “and Dr. Wyatt made it extremely clear that we keep Owen away from her.” She emphasised the word “away”.
“You’re such a cop, Meredith,” Derek teased, leaning against the table, “maybe the reason she can’t remember is BECAUSE we’re keeping her away from him.
“I know I’d still want to suck your face, even if I couldn’t remember it,” he finished, planting a kiss on her lips as she cringed at his apple smooch.
“We’re not the experts, Derek,” she scolded, pressing her hands against his chest to keep him away, apple juice leaking out the edges of his mouth. She stood up to retire to her bedroom. “I know a few things that we’re experts at,” Derek teased, grabbing onto her ass as he guided her quickly to their bedroom. In the other room, Amelia laid awake still, staring at the ceiling as she replayed her recently renewed memories. In the trailer, Owen stared at the unbuilt crib.

dorcasdeadowes asked:

there's this satirical video of a guy trying to prove his cat is christian by shoving a biology book in his face making him turn away and then gently placing a bible by him and this is you unironically in life about morrissey

OMG IT IS

jazz does this thing where if you talk to her she meows back and the other day i said “jazz, do you like the smiths?” and she meowed and i said “do you like johnny marr?” and she meowed and i said “do you like morrissey?” and she just stared at me and walked out of the room

anonymous asked:

So I have this friend and we're both girls and we eat each other out sometimes like it just started when I was over her house and she was staring at me and she said have I ever told you how cute u are and she just kissed me and now we play around with each other

this is how me and jealouswhore became friends

My cat scares me when she just stares into the distance like pls don’t tell me u sense a jinn nearby..

July 7th, 2015

A filthy veil draped from a
jagged brow, caked with mud
muck and oil, 
sitting shotgun in a ratty bucket seat
hands like crusted cushions splayed
on the dashboard, palms up to
the sun visor in prayer;

betrothed to the potholes,
an affair with molten asphalt 
she left skidmarks with the kick
of her heels, a wake of concrete dust
spun like spirals of exhaust behind her. 

In the center lane, stalled
she stared me down, past the
shades and past the wiper blades
I could see the grease in her bearings
rumbling like a stuttering ignition.

She stirred in her place, redlining her
heartbeat for a track day with destiny,
tempting fate with each press of 
the pedal. White knuckled on the
shifter, idling the wrong way,

she popped her clutch, opened her throttle
and shred the rubber from the spokes,
headlong into the altar of mangled steel
to which I witlessly followed the signs.

On course to collide bumpers and grilles
in a swap of coolants and oil–
fiery tongues of discharge and lubricant 
snaking from just under the hood

Today, I fucked up... by tipping my Starbucks barista.

I ordered my drink, and looked in my wallet for a cash tip. I had one $10 bill and one $1 bill. I accidentally grabbed both and put them in the tip box. I immediately said “oops! My bad!” and took the $10 out.

Another customer in line saw this and accused me of stealing the $10 out of the tip jar. I didn’t hear him and walked off to go look at clothes with my daughter (the Starbucks is inside a Macys).

Suddenly I had 3-4 customers yelling at me, accusing me of taking the money. An employee came out from behind the counter and confronted me about stealing it. I said no, it was a mistake. I put two bills in on accident. She said okay and walked away.

Every single customer was now staring at me as I stood there waiting for my drink to be made. One woman was staring and staring and staring and wouldn’t stop. I finally said “Why are you staring at me? Do you honestly think I would steal out of a tip jar?” she gave me a nasty attitude and the other customers started cursing at me. Then the baristas all started talking trash about me.

I started crying, saying I didn’t take it out.

I finally put the $10 back in the tip jar and yelled “THERE. IS EVERYONE HAPPY NOW” and left.

As someone with severe social anxiety and panic attacks based on exact situations like this, this was my worst nightmare. I’m never leaving my house again.

There’s a woman in my class who looks like she has drama in her life. Like I don’t know how to explain it, but she looks like she has some problems at home. Anyways if she keeps staring at me she about to have another one.

headcanon where abby gets injured gathering medical supplies and kane has to carry her back to camp [inspired by]