favorite pride and prejudice quotes

anonymous asked:

1 Of 2: I don't think the creator of that post said that men couldn't practice magic, just that they couldn't be witches. I don't know if there are any practices available only to witches, but I'm guessing that a wizard, warlock, druid, or whatever can worship the same deities or cast the same spells as a witch. It's important to some people that the title witch be reserved females because it's a historically female term, and I'm not saying that's right or wrong.

2 Of 2: I know you’ve done research and there are claims of historically male witches but I’m honestly a bit dubious of the numbers you’ve provided, and no matter what way you paint it, women were the majority killed in the Salem Witch Trials, the majority who are prosecuted to this day. Shouldn’t there be some female exclusive magic space? There are a number of gender neutral terms for magic users, or male terms, but witch is already associated with females and the only term that has traction. 

And I’m not trying to be bitchy or condescending I’m just confused and I want to understand both sides of the issue.

I got off my phone and on to a computer to answer this question. Doesn’t seem like you want both side of the issue, honestly - I have given mine, quite clearly, and you seem to have picked yours, also quite clearly.

Witch is a gender neutral term. The term witch isn’t “historically” female - it’s only been a term used to describe magic users as mostly women in modern times (1600s; that’s only 400 years). “Witch” has always been a gender neutral term - only in recent times has it been used more exclusively for women, but that was not ever its only usage. Man, even in Wicca, they call men who practice “witches.” 

Druids are not the same as witches; druidry is closed prior to initiation - people shouldn’t be using that title unless they are a druid or studying to be an actual druid - so that term should not be grouped in with the others.

You know, other people made the gender neutral terms, because shit like this made them scared and uncomfortable to use the term “witch.” They were frightened people would come out of the woodwork and tear them apart because “oh you’re not a woman, you can’t use that word!” Think about that.

There are zero practices available only to witches (if you’re referring to “witches” as still women-exclusive then yeah, definitely no practices closed to anyone due to gender either) - witchcraft is an open practice that anyone can delve into, use as they like, and take away however they want. So, yes, literally anyone can cast spells like a witch, but they can also cast spells as a witch - using that term as their classifier, if they so wish. Because witchcraft is not closed in any aspect to anyone, neither is the label. No one can dictate who can use the term “witch.”

I don’t honestly know why you’re bringing up Salem tbh. Yes, perhaps the majority of the people accused during Salem were female, but that still doesn’t give women the right to place ownership over the term “witch.” It seems like you’re trying to imply something about the fact that women were the ones who “mostly” died for it, so they should have a right to it exclusively? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what I’m getting, and oh man does that not feel right to me.

Witchcraft was never a woman-exclusive space, period, and I don’t think it ever will be, and I think it’s great that anyone can come in and be accepted for who they are and practice magic like a boss however they want. If you want there to be spaces exclusive for women, make one, but it’s not the fault of the practice for not being that way naturally; there actually is a woman-specific space in Wicca, Dianic Wicca. However, exclusive spaces and stuff shouldn’t be something that is thrown over the entirety of the community regardless of how anyone else feels about it.

The term “witch” was never exclusively for women, as I’ve stated like a half a dozen times now - it is associated with almost exclusively women because that’s how it’s been used in modern times, but it has been used for men in the past too. It is gender neutral. If you thought it was a term for women-only, I’m sorry, but it never was; we’re not actually taking anything away from anyone, it was free to use from the get-go. You’re free to make your own spaces, but don’t try to take or claim something that wasn’t actually your “property” to begin with, please, and leave the rest of us struggling to fill it in. Just because we may not have “died” for it, doesn’t mean we have less of a right to it. 

(Okay, calm, calm down Richtor, civility.)

You’re also ignoring the fact that there are people who use the term “witch” who don’t fall under the category of either men or women. You declaring it a female-only term or space is not only excluding men. You’re excluding me too, you’re excluding many other people who don’t identify as either, which is why I am standing so hard for this point.

Witchcraft is an open practice. Anyone can use the term witch, and anyone can practice witchcraft. I stand by my point, and the history of the word witch. If you don’t like it, well, I’m sorry, I’m not stopping. I’m standing up for me, for all the male witches, for all the trans witches and the non-binary witches, and the genderfluid witches, like me. We have just as much right to that term as anyone else, because hey! It was never exclusively for women, and witchcraft is a very open practice that anyone can take and use as they like. So I’ll be damned if I stop calling myself a witch, and I will not stand by as other people are bullied for using that term because of their fucking gender.

(Sorry, civility lost, let’s see if I can calm down again.)

This is a passionate issue for me, as I’m sure you can see. Trying to collect myself, I’ve made a few changes to what I wrote, but I’m not changing how I think, or some of my phrasing choices. This is important to a lot of us - having an inclusive space and term would be awesome for our community, in my opinion. A lot of people get into witchcraft because they have not many other places to go, to turn to, to draw strength from. Some people draw their self empowerment and confidence from calling themselves a witch - yes, exactly that term witch, not any other term. It gives them the strength to keep fighting and being active in their own lives, to not take life’s shit lying down. We use the word as armor, sword, and shield. It means the world to some of us, because of how it can be seen, regardless of gender. 

It’s a shame you can’t see past the gender part, really. There are some lovely witches out there, men and people who aren’t either, or who are both, and we just want a place to belong and feel welcomed. Trying to exclude us from a term no one actually had any rights to… It doesn’t feel nice. Which is why I will forever stand by my followers and friends, those who identify as ways other than how the term witch has been used, and still call themselves that with pride. (I still stand by those that use other terms for whatever reason, I stand by all magic users, but I hope you can see my point on this one.) I will keep fighting for the word that has no rightful owner, and for the people who want to call themselves it, regardless of its stereotype. 

If that is something you can’t accept, well, what you do next is on you. Because I know where I stand on this, and I’m not going anywhere.

Richard Siken Quote Starters
  • I woke up in the morning and I didn't want anything, didn't do anything, couldn't do it anyway.
  • I say I want you inside me and you hold my head underwater. I say I want you inside me and you split me open with a knife.
  • Vanity makes you say things like "I deserved a better life than this."
  • I sleep. I dream. I make up things that I would never say. I say them very quietly.
  • Your world doesn't make sense.
  • Someone once told me that explaining is an admission of failure. I'm sure you remember, I was on the phone with you, sweetheart.
  • A man takes his sadness and throws it away but then he's still left with his hands.
  • I've been in your body and it was a carnival ride.
  • Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake and dress them in warm clothes again.
  • Love always wakes the dragon and suddenly, flames everywhere.
  • You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won't tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.
  • Is that too much to expect? That I would name the stars for you?
  • To them he is a mirror, but to you he is a room.
  • You want a better story. Who wouldn't?
  • Let's admit, without apology, what we do to each other.
  • If you love me, Henry, you don't love me in a way I understand.
  • He was pointing at the moon, but I was looking at his hand.
  • I am more than one thing, and not all of those things are good.
  • Fairy tales have rules. You are a princess or you aren't.
  • You wanted to think of yourself as someone who did these kinds of things. You wanted to be in love and he happened to get in the way.
  • We have not touched the stars, nor are we forgiven.
  • If this isn't a kingdom then I don't know what is.
  • Your body told me in a dream it's never been afraid of anything.
  • You swallow my heart and flee, but I want it back now, baby. I want it back.
  • Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.
  • Everyone needs a place. It shouldn't be inside of someone else.
  • I'm sorry I came to your party and seduced you and left you bruised and ruined.
  • Everyone could see the way his muscles worked, the way we look like animals, his skin barely keeping him inside.
  • I'm pulling you out of the burning buildings and you say "I'll give you anything" but you never come through.
  • Dear Forgiveness, I saved a plate for you. Quit milling around the yard and come inside.
  • You wanted happiness, I can't blame you for that.
  • I swear, I end up feeling empty, like you've taken something out of me and I have to search my body for scars.
  • Oh, the things we invent when we are scared and want to be rescued.
  • I do believe his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars.
  • He had green eyes, so I wanted to sleep with him. Green eyes flecked with yellow, dried leaves on the surface of a pool. You could drown in those eyes, I said.
  • Damn if there isn't anything sexier than a slender boy with a handgun, a fast car, a bottle of pills.
  • The entire history of human desire takes about seventy minutes to tell. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of time.
  • You play along, because you want to die for love, you always have.
  • You're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist.
  • Moonlight making crosses on your body, and me putting my mouth on every one.
  • I wouldn't kill your pony. I'd like to believe it, anyway.
  • Imagine a story where everything goes wrong, where everyone has their back against the wall, where everyone is in pain and acting selfishly because if they don't, they'll die.
  • You're a train and I'm a train station and when I try to guess your trajectory I end up telling my own story.
  • The way you slam your body into mine reminds me I'm alive.
  • I'm just a writer. I write things down. I walk through your dreams and invent the future.
  • I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.
  • Imagine a story, not of good against evil, but of need against need against need, where everyone is at cross-purposes and everyone is to blame.
  • You looked at me long enough to see something mysterious under all the gruff and bluster. Thanks.
  • In the wrong light anyone can look like a darkness.
  • You just wanted to prove there was one safe place, just one safe place where you could love him. You have not found that place yet.
  • This is not harmless. You are not breathing.
  • Lesson number one -- be sneaky and have a plan.
  • I know history. There are many names in history but none of them are ours.
  • You know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut, which is what you didn't do, because you are weak and hollow and it doesn't matter anymore.
  • Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
  • Sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them.
  • When someone is trying to ditch you, kill you, never go back.
  • All wars are the same war.
  • We are all going forward. None of us are going back.
  • I'm not suggesting the world is good, that life is easy, or that any of us are entitled to better.
  • I wanted to be wanted and he was very beautiful, kissed with his eyes closed, and only felt good while moving.
  • Okay, so I'm the dragon. Big deal. You still get to be the hero.
  • Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It's like a religion. It's terrifying.
  • You take her out into the rain and you fall in love with her and she leaves you and you're desolate.
  • Sorry about the scene at the bottom of the stairwell and how I ruined everything by saying it out loud.
  • Someone is digging your grave right now.
  • There's a niche in his chest where a heart would fit perfectly.
  • Your co-workers ask if everything's okay and you tell them you're just tired.
  • Here is the repeated image of the lover destroyed.
  • At this point in the story so many things have gone wrong, so many bad decisions made, that it's a wonder anyone would want to continue reading.
  • Eventually something you love is going to be taken away.
  • I wanted to hurt you but the victory is that I could not stomach it.
  • Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more.
  • I take the parts that I remember and stitch them back together to make a creature that will do what I say or love me back.
  • I am sad and angry and I want everyone to be alive again.
BTS Reaction: They find out their S/O has a chronic illness when she/he has a bad episode.
  • I hope you like it @little-miss-sherlock Lots of lub to youu 💕💕
  • Smol Warning: This involves certain health issues that.. Well, I don't know if it would offend anyone that I'm writing about chronic illnesses I don't understand fully. I looked up the symptoms of all these and I'm going with that, if you know you'll get mad or your sensitive to this material please don't read.
  • ———————
  • ~ Kim Seokjin/Prince Jin:
  • Jin always heard you talking to yourself but he felt it was normal for people to do so and he found it cute. Until one day you forgot to take your medication. Your mind was everywhere you kept telling the wall to "Shut up" then-
  • Jin: Y/n? Are you okay? What's wrong? Look at me.
  • You: Who are you? Where am I? Where's mom?
  • Jin: What? Y/n. It's Jin.
  • You: Jin? Like... Gin?
  • Jin: No with a J.
  • He decided to take you to the doctors and surprisingly he found the one you go to for medication. Everyone seemed to know you, know what was going on and he found out you had schizophrenia.
  • Your personality was all over the place, you heard voices, and sometimes short losses of memory. When he found out he was extremely confused and mad. Why would you hide something so serious from him?
  • Jin: Explain.
  • You: I was ashamed.. Embarrassed. Who would want to date someone like me? I didn't want you to leave me..
  • You: I'm sorry..
  • Jin: -Holds you and kisses your forehead- I've told you. I'll love you till the day I die no matter how cheesy that sounds, it's true.
  • Jin: We'll work together, and I'll take care of you. You'll never have to deal with this alone.
  • Jin: I love you.
  • ~ Suga/Min Yoongi:
  • While you and Yoongi were going out to get grocery's you had fainted. Immediately he dropped everything to get you to a hospital.
  • Yoongi: What happened?
  • Doctor: Have they not told you? They've been here a few times.
  • Yoongi: For what?
  • Doctor: Their medication. We have them on two at the moment. They have GAD. Which stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. They fainted for lack of sleep. Their anxiety is very bad, she/he has horrid thoughts of her/himself, she/he has told us about her/his troubles sleeping, she/he has had thoughts of death, now that you know please do take care of her/him.
  • He was furious that you didn't tell him. He wanted you to trust him with everything and it definitely seemed like you did but to know you hid something involving your health he questioned how much trust you actually had in him.
  • Yoongi: Why didn't you tell me?
  • You: It's always made people back of from me.
  • You: It has ruined so many past relationships and I just don't want to lose you. I love and care about you so much Min Yoongi, I couldn't risk it.
  • Yoongi: But you could risk your health?
  • Yoongi: You know everything about me and after hearing you didn't leave me. What makes you think that THIS would want to make me leave you?
  • Yoongi: Anything you need just ask. Your health is the most important thing because you are important to to me.
  • ~ J-hope/Jung Hoseok:
  • You both were about to go to bed, at the time Hobi stayed over and when he went to go ask you something he saw you scrambling to find something.
  • Hobi: Y/n?
  • You: -You jump slightly- Yes?
  • Hobi: What are you looking for? Can I help you?
  • You: No. It's nothing, just needed a sleeping pill so I can sleep well.
  • Hobi: If you don't find them there's many ways I could help you sleep.
  • You: Today. I think I just want to cuddle with you Hoseok.
  • Later while he had fallen asleep, you went back to look for your medication. Then you started tantrum-ing, sobbing. getting emotional, you broke glass, and you weren't yourself. Of course Hoseok heard and ran out to see if you were okay or what was going on. He saw you sobbing on the ground, your hands bleeding from shards of glass that were on the floor.
  • Hobi: Oh my god. Y/n? Come with me. I'm taking you to a doctor.
  • You: Leave me alone, Go away! I don't need your help.
  • Hobi: Yes you do. Come here. -slowly approaching you-
  • You: I'm warning you to get away!
  • Once he manages to grab you and semi calm you down he takes you to a doctor and he found out you have a extreme Bipolar disorder, He was frustrated and heart broken that you never told him, and that he had to find out like this. When he saw you, you were going to talk but he didn't want to hear you.
  • Hobi: Don't you talk. Listen.
  • Hobi: Don't ever hide anything like this from me again. Do you understand? I thought that I took care of you well and to know that I wasn't able to help you for this, wasn't able to take care of you better is the worst thing I have ever felt.
  • Hobi: Understand that I love and care for you and I want to take care of you till the end.
  • You: I was just worried you wouldn't be able to handle it. And you would leave, just like everyone else.
  • Hobi: Then I'm offended that I'm just "Everyone else" to you. I am your boyfriend, your lover, and someone who wants to take care of you like you take care of me.
  • Hobi: So let me.
  • ~ Rap Monster/Namjoon:
  • You: Do you what an Inhaler looks like?
  • Nams: I guess I do, why?
  • You: Random thought.
  • You and Namjoon took walks around beautiful areas a lot and walked to your house a lot. You looked through your bag to check if you had your inhaler and for some reason it was gone. You know you had taken it and you were worried because you might need it.
  • Nams: Y/n why do you have this? -He holds up your inhaler which you take from him immediately-
  • You: I'm taking it to someone later.
  • Nams: Don't lie to me.
  • You: I don't lie.
  • Nams: That was a lie. Do you have asthma?
  • You:
  • Nams: Answer me, Y/n.
  • You: Yes, I have asthma!
  • Nams: Why didn't you tell me?
  • You: Because I was embarrassed. It's embarrassing to breathe from a tube in public or in front of you.
  • You: And I figured you wanted to date someone normal. Someone who isn't bothersome and you won't have to worry about so much.
  • Nams: Baby, You don't ever need to feel embarrassed, I still love you, I'm falling in love with your personality. I love you just as you are and I will take care of you, alright?
  • Nams: From now on, tell me everything and anything. Nothing can change how I feel about you.
  • Park Jimin/Chimichanga:
  • You liked asking Jimin to teach you dance whether you were good or not didn't matter, it was just fun to move around to the beat of music, but today you forgot your pain killers so you were limping and falling a lot. .
  • Jimin: Are you okay? You're very off.
  • You: Just dandy.
  • Jimin: What's wrong?
  • You: Nothing.
  • Jimin: What's. Wrong?
  • You: I have Chronic pain, which is basically forever pain in the same place... I have it in my knee.
  • You: anddd oh my gkkdbd it's cramping up. Can you go get my pain killers please??
  • Jimin: Why didn't you tell me??
  • You: Because knowing you, You wouldn't let me out the damn house.
  • You: Even if we don't live together. I know you'd somehow watch me.
  • Jimin: I would let you out..
  • You: 1 step out the door would be too far for you.
  • Jimin: I just care about you.
  • You: I know but what you CAN do is help me with the medicine and take me to my doctors appointments.
  • Jimin: I can't drive...
  • You: You can accompany me to my doctors appointments.
  • V/Kim Taehyung:
  • When Tae came over to hang out with you, he opened the door with the spare key you gave him.
  • Tae: Honey!!! I'm hommee!
  • You guys had this joke where you acted like a married couple. You usually replied with something funny as well but you couldn't.
  • Taehyung went to the kitchen only to find you crouched, leaning against the wall behind you, and holding your head.
  • Tae: Y/n! Are you alright?
  • You: Medicine. Please. -You point to a cabinet- Get a white and blue bottle.
  • After he gave you the medicine and you were feeling a bit better you guys started talking.
  • You: Why are you here so early?
  • Tae: I wanted to surprise you but you surprised me. Are you okay?
  • You: I'm fine now. I mean, it'll happen tomorrow, the next day, the next, and after that, then so on.
  • Tae: That's impossible.
  • You: Not if you have a Migraine.
  • Tae: How come I didn't know?
  • You: I was embarrassed, I'm pretty sure you didn't want to date someone who was forever sick so it was nice knowing you—
  • Tae: Shhhtsh I'm staying and caring for you, and cuddling you, and being with you until the day I die.
  • Jeon Jungkook/Kookie:
  • You didn't hide it from Jungkook but you also haven't told him.
  • You'll take your medicine in front him and when he asks you say your sick.
  • But you've been sick for the whole year you guys have been dating so of course he is going to get suspicious.
  • You: I read a new book~
  • JK: Yeah you told me about it. You're on page 289, It's interesting, and you would like to find more from that author.
  • You: When did I.. You know I probably have bed memory.
  • JK: You told me about this book four times.
  • You: I have? Oh wow.
  • JK: How'd you forget after four times?
  • You: Ah hmm, I have ADHD, bad memory, bad at paying attention. um um oh wow suddenly I'm bored. Did I bring my pills??
  • JK: I don't think so, let's go home alright?
  • You: Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you. I just, it's not attractive. Yeah.
  • JK: I'd still love you with any sickness, how you talk to me, treat me, take care of me, love me, and your personality is what made me fall in love with you.
  • You: Thanks Bunny boy.
  • JK: Let's eat at Wagwan after alright?
  • You: I heard they give out Snickers now. I don't know why but I'm down.
  • JK: You're adorable.

anonymous asked:

Can you explain what you meant when you said the dizzee and thor kiss (almost kiss I couldn't tell?) scene was packed with meaning? I'm an oblivious bitch and subtlety goes over my head I'm not good at picking out deeper meaning in things

ok ok so this is gonna be long (I’m sorry)

Also by scene, I meant the whole scene when they’re at the party. 

1) Dizzee’s character arc. From the moment dizzee enters the party, you can see that something important for Dizzee’s character is about to happen… It’s filmed/edited in a way that showcases that this is a first experience for him. And they’re telling us that this is abt him in relation to the LGBT community. They go from shots of dizzee looking mesmerized to shots of the club displaying various forms of LGBT expression. From the music, to the colours, to “vogueing”, etc. You can clearly see that everyone there is having a good time. You’re hearing cheers all over the place and you’re hearing Thor chuckle along with them. 

2) Safe space and Freedom. So I feel like this scene is running on two main themes: freedom and safe spaces. So, at some point Dizzee asks Thor “what is this place?” and his answer is “this is where free people run free. Just birds singing their bird voice. Doing bird things”. In this moment Dizzee is being told that he can be whoever he wants to be here. And what does he do? He gives Thor the record of “set me free”. I mean idk if I’m reading too much into it but it feels like there’s some symbolism in that action. He’s at a gay club for the first time with a boy he likes and he’s told that he’s in a place where “free people run free” and then he goes ahead and gives that boy he likes a copy of a record that he loves bc he’s stated before that the record “is gonna set so many ppl free” and tells him that it made him think of him. This means he’s been associating freedom with Thor or maybe who he’s allowed to be when he’s with Thor.

3) The whole scene is about lgbt expression. And Dizzee is clearly interested in knowing more about it. He keeps asking questions. And he keeps getting answers that reaffirm that everyone is allowed to be free in this space. I mean that part of the scene where he asks “are they boy or girls” and we get that focus on gender and its relation to being lgbt. And then he keeps asking questions abt everything, he keeps looking mesmerized by everything, and we keep getting explanations abt different aspects of lgbt expression from that era. Vogueing, for instance.

4) Now going back to this being an important moment for Dizzee. So, in the first half of the scene we see Dizzee discovering new things abt lgbt expression and in the second half of the scene we see why they were important for dizzee. It’s all flows so well tbh. As the audience you’re already intrigued by this whole scene. As an lgbt viewer, I’m already excited abt lgbt expression being treated like this and we’re all sensing where it’s going. So, then the girl kissed Dizzee and Thor said “my turn” and as soon as he said it the feel of the scene changed. It feels different bc the lighting changed and they immediately transitioned into playing “telepathy”. So, basically the first half of the scene was preparing him bc he kept being told that he could be who he was here. He kept being told that freedom is welcome in that space. He was being shown that being lgbt is okay. And, in the second half of the scene when Thor says “my turn”, Dizzee gets to have his moment and we (lgbt viewers) get to have one with him.

5) Telepathy. That moment again is laced with meaning and they did it by choosing “telepathy” as their song. That’s a recurring theme for them too. They’re “just two psychic boys” after all. And the way the scene is playing out with the lyrics playing loudly around them. You see different moments between them when the song is playing. I mean, at some point the lyrics go “boy you keep me safe from harm” and the shot goes to Dizzee looking completely mesmerized by everything to Thor smiling at him.

 And then we have the “it’s okay… Go on. Kiss him” which again is reassuring Dizzee that he’s safe there and that it’s okay for him to have those feelings for Thor. And to add more meaning to this moment… the song suddenly slows down and the lighting changes again. That’s meant to tell us (the audience) that something important is abt to happen so we better pay attention. It’s pulling focus towards Dizzee and Thor. Giving them the spotlight as soon as the song slows down. It makes it seem like they’re alone for a second. That the moment is changing bc not only is Dizzee discovering something abt himself, it’s also meant to show us the attraction between the two characters. So, then they “kiss” and there’s that beautiful shot of their silhouettes as they’re leaning on each other’s foreheads and there’s another transition with the music and lighting. As soon as “set me free” starts playing the feeling of the scene is lighter. Dizzee had his big moment. And now he gets to celebrate. It means a lot that as they’re pulling apart, the beat starts picking up and we see them looking at each other, smiling and dancing. It’s even better bc the song that closes that scene is “set me free”, a song about freedom. It’s like they went full circle with that theme.

So yeah… I just feel like there’s a lot that goes with everything that was done in that scene. It feels like they wanted to convey a message. And it was a good message. A message of freedom and acceptance for the lgbt community. 

anonymous asked:

I don't know if this is too late, and totally feel free to ignore it if it's not your thing but would you consider Klance with sneezing, curling up and "Are you sure you’re all right?" And sickie Keith?

No way you’re definitely not too late!! Anon do forgive me that this is sort of half-hearted at the same time it’s way longer than it should be i tried 

also pre-Klance???? and like there are -2 sneezes and probably not the kind of curling up you were asking for so this is me APOLOGIZING IN ADVANCE 

(Caretaker’s (sort of?? he’s not really doing any caretaking so sorry I’m taking every liberty imaginable with these drabble prompts) POV)

Lance hops on the first step of the bus, just barely making it before the doors slam shut behind him. He runs a hand through his freshly dampened hair, sighing at the smattering of raindrops now dusting his sweatshirt, neck, and cheekbones.

He curses the fact that there’s virtually no room left on the bus, all thanks to everyone in the city opting to take public transportation in favor of walking due to the sudden downpour. Because his professor lets class out a few minutes late, not only does Lance catch the onset of the torrential rain, he’s also forced to stand up on the bus, squeezed in between two people jostling him around in between every stop the bus makes.

He’s tired. He’s had a long week, and he knows he’s being selfish, but usually there’s no one riding this bus, save for him and a couple of other students who are too lazy to regularly walk to their classes. He just wants to sit down. Lance’s eyes burn holes into the floor of the bus and he’s neck deep in his thoughts, so he’s quickly jerked back to reality by the figure violently shifting next to him.

He’s ducking into a handful of tissues held in his palm, sneezing near silently. Lance winces; he knows the guy is trying to be polite, but those sound like they’re hell on his throat.

They’re packed so tightly together on the bus, Lance can feel the ghost of an inhale as the stranger gears up for another round of viciously stifled sneezes.

“hh-H’Ngxxt! eh’HPxt! hHh’NGxT-chuh! snff..”

The last sneeze comes out strangled, half-stifled, the breathy release audible. Lance watches as he sniffles thickly and pinches the tissues over his nostrils to wick away any excess moisture.

When he brings the tissues down and looks up, a bolt of something foreign flashes across Lance’s mind and straight through his heart.

This isn’t a stranger. Well, not a total stranger. This guy (Keith, Lance recalls his name) is in one of his classes, and rides the bus with Lance almost every day. He always sits two seats behind him. No matter where Lance sits on the bus, that guy is always two seats behind him.

Lance has tried to strike up a conversation with him a few times, introduce himself and the like, but it’s usually been to no avail. Keith seems to view Lance with the vague disinterest of a person with better things to do than talk to some random guy on the bus. They only have the one class together, so the opportunities for Lance to say more than a few words to him have been few and far between.

He always has to hold himself back from turning around to stare when Keith walks by him onto the bus, settling for a smile and maybe, on occasion, a wave as he passes. Lance feels self-conscious knowing that he’s behind him. He knows better than to think that Keith’s eyes are trained on the back of his head, watching his every movement, but Lance knows well enough that he’d be doing exactly that if their positions were reversed. Classes are almost the exact same thing, and always leave Lance doubting himself.

It’s a little bit strange for Lance to see him, feel him, so close, and sick nonetheless. The light Lance has always viewed him in suddenly shifts, tones down a shade. He’s human, after all. Perfectly capable of catching a cold. Although, this looks like a bit more than just a cold.

The tissues he’d earlier put to good use have now joined several others in the front pocket of a baggy sweatshirt that looks a comfortable size or two too big. His hair is tied back in a ponytail that’s far too messy to be considered hipster, easier coined as “I woke up five minutes before leaving for class and I literally did not have the energy to do anything else.” The tip of his nose is one shade redder than the apples of his cheeks, the most likely culprits of the double flush being vigorous abuse to the appendage and a low-grade fever making its way through his system. And if Lance listens hard over the hubbub of the bus, he thinks he can hear crackling whenever Keith inhales. They’re shoulder to shoulder, almost-back to almost-back, after all.

Well, he’s looked better, Lance thinks sardonically.

Keith has just lowered the collar he’d held up to his face seconds before, finally released from the throes of a painful-sounding bout of coughs when Lance has had enough of pretending like they’ve never spoken. They aren’t besties by any means, but Lance is a decent, caring person. And truth be told, he wants to give Keith a stern talking-to if his only plans aren’t to go home, load up on meds, and take a blissfully long nap.

Lance struggles for a minute to turn to meet him face to face, then asks the question he’s been dying to ask since he first laid eyes on the sick boy.

(Sickie’s POV)

“Hey, man, are you alright?”


Keith had kept his head down the minute he spotted Lance walk on the bus, in the vain hope that he wouldn’t notice Keith and his current piteous state of illness.

Of course Lance ended up standing right next to Keith. Of course they ended up touching, of course Keith could feel Lance’s shoulder jostle against his own as he muffled several sneezes into tissues well past their prime, the last precious few from the travel pack he’d had the good sense to bring along to class. Of course.

Because it was all too simple for Keith to be allowed to go about his sickness in solitude, to suffer in silence. He knew for a fact that Lance would probably ask him about how he was feeling, and the last thing Keith wanted was for Lance to see him like this. Keith gets flustered around him enough as it is, much less when he’s a drippy, shivery mess.

Keith resigns himself to the fact the he’s left with no option but to reply to Lance. Doing anything else would be blatantly rude, and though Keith is exhausted and somewhat discombobulated by Lance’s presence in the face of his illness, he’s not gonna be blatantly rude.

“Y-yh-” Keith sighs and clears his throat to answer, but before he can finish he’s cut off by a sharp burst of coughing that tears and rattles through his lungs. He buries his face in his elbow and curls in on himself, trying to make himself seem as small as possible. Which is proving to be rather difficult with a busload of people all watching him with disgust, pity, or a combination of the two.

He emerges from his sleeve eyes watering and chest heaving. Catching his breath proves to be a challenge, and his chest still aches even after the coughing subsides. Keith can’t help but feel like everyone is watching him, judging him, and even though two seconds ago he was shaking like a leaf, now his sweatshirt feels hot and tight and uncomfortable, his entire body heating up with shame. He wants to be off this bus.

His eyes are toeing the line between watery and teary when he feels a hand on his shoulder: Lance’s hand. The touch is light and gentle, and he hears Lance repeat his question from minutes before.

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

Keith doesn’t let himself consider Lance a friend, just barely an acquaintance, but he still manages to pick up on the imperceptible layers to the question.

Keith takes a tentative breath to confirm that he’s in the clear before answering hoarsely, his voice an octave above a whisper, “Yeah, I’m all good.”

He only halfway means it; he’s not really all good. Yeah, sure, he’s got medicine and tissues and tea waiting in his apartment, purchased after he’d been entirely unprepared for the last cold he’d caught. His apartment actually doesn’t have shitty heating, he’s gotten worlds better at taking care of himself in the past few months, and he’s surprisingly not all that shabby at making soup. But going home means he’ll also be alone. And Keith doesn’t want to go home, crash on the couch by himself, and spend the weekend in a feverish haze, but like he would spill that to a guy he was hardly on a first name basis with.

Lance is friendly, yeah, but he probably only talks to him because he just feels bad for Keith.

Keith’s thoughts are silenced as the bus lurches to a halt and a good third of the people file out. Any open places to sit are quickly filled, and Keith is still left standing, holding upright to the pole becoming more daunting of a task by the second. He hopes he doesn’t pass out or anything, because that would be so humiliating, and Keith thinks he’s had enough humiliation for one day.

Speaking of humiliation, Keith thinks, turning his gaze to Lance, who is already staring at him. Keith’s face sinks a darker hue of crimson and his eyes flicker downwards. For a split-second, Lance looks like he’s got something important to say, something serious.

But then he blurts out, “Where do you live?”

The shock is written all over Keith’s face, and he blushes as deeply as is humanly possible. They’re like, strangers.

This guy really wastes no time, Keith thinks.

A few people directly in their vicinity shoot Lance a strange look, Keith watches on as Lance realizes his mistake, and begins clamoring to rectify his word vomit, his face and ears beet red.

“Th-that came out wrong-I just-I mean-” he stammers for a full minute before taking a deep breath and starting over; the confusion on Keith’s face conveying that he’s really got no idea how it was supposed to come out.

“I know we aren’t really friends b-”

Keith cuts him off with a nod that he realizes after the fact probably comes off as rude when he sees Lance give an embarrassed wince before continuing quietly, his earlier spark somewhat snuffed out.

“-but my mom always used to make this special soup for me and my siblings whenever one of us was sick and I just… I thought maybe if you wanted I could make you some? And that’s why i was asking where you live…?” Lance’s voice is hesitant, brushing into territory unfamiliar to Keith. It suddenly dawns on Keith that maybe he hasn’t been talking to him just because he feels bad for him.

Keith still isn’t quite sure what to say, though not for lack of wanting Lance to make him special soup. No one has ever made Keith special soup before, never in his entire life. But Keith guesses he maybe waits too long to say something, because Lance is turning away, obviously embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, man, that was super weird, I-I’ll jus-”

But Keith cuts him off before he can fully rotate, a loose hand on his arm. Keith and Lance both look down at the hand, and quite frankly, Keith is shocked by his own burst of courage.

“Let me give you my number, and I’ll send you my address once I get home.” His voice is threadbare and hoarse but chock-full of emotion, shy and wavering and unsure. Lance and Keith swap phones, both entering their numbers into the contacts section of the other’s phone.

Keith’s chest feels funny when Lance’s eyes light up immediately and he smiles a mega-watt smile. He starts blabbering about something, and Keith smiles, but he’s honestly too tired to listen. Right now, going home and curling up in bed (with a steaming bowl of this acclaimed soup) sounds absolutely heavenly to Keith.

He’s nodding along to something Lance is saying when an itch flares up in his sinuses, and he presses his nose flat against his palm, completely stifling four sneezes. He’s helpless in their wake, sniffly and exhausted. He runs a wrist under his nose, and it helps about as much as is expected. But Lance doesn’t even flinch, even though Keith’s display is more than a little disgusting.

He just says “Bless you!” with that dumb smile on his face. Keith prays for his stop, because he can’t keep looking like this in front of Lance. He considers himself lucky that when the bus rolls to a stop and the door slides open, Lance slowly makes his way off the bus. It’s his stop. They share a look, one that Keith can’t quite register the meaning of.

“Take care of yourself!” Lance shouts as the sliding doors of the bus begin to close.

Keith smiles. His chest feels tight and heavy, his nose is completely blocked with congestion, his throats feels thick and his head is achy, but his heart feels surprisingly feather-light.

Later that night, Keith learns that he and Lance live not quite a block away from each other, and that Lance’s mother’s homemade soup is like a hug for his insides, and warms him up more than being curled up in a million blankets ever could.

Excerpts from Kip Kinkel's Confession transcript.
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Okay....So do you know what time it was when you got home?
  • KK Around one o'clock, one-thirty.
  • AW okay....Tell me what happens when you get home?
  • KK I had no other choice....I couldn't
  • AW You were feeling really guilty?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Okay....So your dad has guns, right?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW And where does he keep his guns?
  • KK He usually keeps them in his tennis locker at the swim and tennis club. But we could always shoot it once in awhile and so they were home
  • this time....Most of the time they're not home, only the rifles are there.
  • AW So only the 10.22 Ruger rifle was there?
  • KK Yeah, mm hum.
  • AW And where was that at?
  • KK I had that in my room.
  • AW You had that in your room?
  • KK Mm hu (yes).
  • AW Was it loaded or unloaded?
  • KK It was unloaded, (unintelligible).
  • AW So the ammunition was in your room?
  • KK It was in my parent's room but I had the gun.
  • AW Okay....So was your dad...Did he hit you or anything like that?
  • KK No.
  • AW Okay...Was he yelling or out of control or?
  • KK I couldn't I couldn't I had no other choice God.
  • AW You told me earlier he was in the kitchen.
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW And was that around 4 o'clock or could it of been earlier?
  • KK I think it was earlier.
  • AW You think it was earlier?
  • KK I'm not sure.
  • AW Okay...Let me ask you this
  • KK What?
  • AW Had I been a visitor in your home, would you have shot your dad?
  • KK I don't think so.
  • AW You don't think so.
  • KK I don't know I just I had no other choice he was saying all this I . .
  • AW He was saying all that stuff, kind of....He was saying a lot of
  • Negative stuff about you. Like what was he saying about you?
  • KK (crying)
  • AW Okay...He's mad at you because you got caught in school with the gun, right?
  • KK Right.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK And I (garbled) all his friends and everything knew (garbled).
  • AW So he was feeling ashamed and embarrassed because you did something wrong, is that right?
  • KK Right.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK I didn't want to. I loved my dad that's why I had to
  • AW You love him so that's why you had to kill him?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay...So what's he doing in the kitchen when you come in.
  • KK He was drinking something, I don't know.
  • AW Was his back to you?
  • KK Yes. Oh god...
  • AW Okay...Earlier you told me you walked up behind him and shot him in the head. Is that right?
  • KK Basically, yeah.
  • AW Basically?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Okay...Did you stand away from him while you shot him?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW How far were you when you shot him?
  • KK About ten feet.
  • AW Ten feet. And how many times did you shoot him?
  • KK Once.
  • AW And where did that bullet hit him?
  • KK Right above the ear.
  • AW Right behind the ear.
  • KK Yeah, above, yeah Oh my god (crying)
  • AW It's alright. So your dad falls to the kitchen floor.
  • KK He just laid on the counter.
  • AW He laid on the counter.
  • KK Mm uh.
  • AW Then what did you do?
  • KK I didn't know what to do so I dragged him into the bathroom and then put a white sheet over him.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK Oh, my god, my parents were good people, I'm just so fucked up in the head, I don't know why, (garbled).
  • AW So what do you do from the time you put the sheet over your dad and your mom comes home?
  • KK A few people called.
  • AW Do you remember who called?
  • KK Yeah, some of my friends and I just talked to them. I didn't say anything
  • about that and I didn't know what to do because...Oh my God, my mom was coming home and if she knew what I'd done she'd...Oh my god.
  • AW So your mom comes home around six, is that right?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay....Now I've never been to your house...And earlier you talked about a basement. Is that a garage that's underneath the house?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW So your mom drives in her car, right?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW And what is she driving?
  • KK An explorer.
  • AW Explorer?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW And she parks, where are you at?
  • KK I was waiting for her.
  • AW Okay....Outside or inside?
  • KK Inside.
  • AW Okay...Did she pull into the garage?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK Oh my god.
  • AW Do you have one of these automatic garage doors where she closes the door after she pulls in?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Was the door up or down?
  • KK Down.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK I just want to die.
  • AW I know.
  • KK Oh god. (crying)
  • AW So you told me that your mom gets out of the explorer and starts up the stairs from the garage or basement, is that right?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Do you say anything to her?
  • KK Yes, I told her I loved her.
  • AW And then you shot---
  • KK Yes. God damn it...these voices inside my head.
  • AW Alright, hey, (garbled) Kip....Kip, settle down, settle down, it's alright, it's alright...Just settle down, okay, just settle down.
  • KK I had no other choice.
  • AW Okay...So how far were you from your mom when you shot her?
  • KK I don't know.
  • AW Okay....Earlier you told me you shot her twice---
  • KK I think I shot her several times.
  • AW You shot her several times?
  • KK Cause I dragged her up into the basement after I shot her and she was still alive and I said that I loved her and I shot her...I shot her again so she wouldn't know that I killed her....I loved my mom.
  • AW ..Okay....So you didn't want your mom to know that you were the one that shot her.
  • KK Right.
  • AW And you loved your mom---
  • KK Yeah, I did.
  • AW So what did you do the rest of the night? Did you talk to any more friends?
  • KK No, I just...I didn't...I didn't know what to do...I held---
  • AW Okay.
  • KK I just held my glock to my head and I wanted to kill myself so bad but I
  • couldn't...I don't know why.
  • AW Now you said there was only one gun in the home, where did the glock come from? Did you go somewhere and pick up the glock?
  • KK No, it was in my dad's tennis stuff that he hadn't taken back to the Club.
  • AW Okay...So it was at home, too?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay....So did you get any sleep last night at all or do you stay awake all night?
  • KK Stayed awake.
  • AW Okay...Did you watch tv?
  • KK I turned it on to keep me company but I didn't watch it.
  • AW Okay...Alright...Now you shot your mom to save her the embarrassment and that sort of stuff, right?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay....Was that the right thing or the wrong thing to do?
  • KK I couldn't do anything else.
  • AW Okay...Now this morning you had planned to go to school and you had taped some bullets to your chest.
  • KK Yes.
  • AW What were those bullets for?
  • KK To kill myself if I ran out of ammunition.
  • AW And you told me earlier you took two knives, the Ruger 10.22 that was sawed off, a Ruger .22 caliber pistol and the glock 19 which was a 9 millimeter. Is that correct?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW And you took those to school.
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay...You were wearing a big overcoat. Were you hiding the weapons?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Okay....Why were you hiding them?
  • KK I didn't know what else to do.
  • AW You didn't know what else to do. Why did you go to school and start shooting people?
  • KK I had to. I had no other choice. I couldn't do anything else.
  • AW Had you been stopped by a police officer before you gotten to school would you have done that?
  • KK I don't know.
  • AW Why did you feel that you didn't have a choice with the kids at school?
  • KK I don't know I can' head is (garbled) I had to, I just had to.
  • AW Okay....Was there any kids that were in that group of people that you were seeing that you singled out as any one target?
  • KK No.
  • AW Do you know the names of any of those kids that you shot at?
  • KK No.
  • AW Okay....When we got here to the police department you had a knife that the officers had missed strapped to your leg, right?
  • KK Right.
  • AW And you had slipped your cuffs around to the front and when I opened the door you held that knife out and you charged me with that knife.
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Why did you do that?
  • KK Cause I wanted you to shoot me. I just want to die.
  • AW Okay....Was that the right thing or the wrong thing to do?
  • KK It has to be the right thing because I need to die more than anything else.
  • AW As you were growing up through elementary school and middle school, were you ever taken to a counselor?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW What for?
  • KK Cause I got in trouble with the police.
  • AW You got in trouble with the police?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW Is this about that book about making explosives or something?
  • KK Well it was kind of It was just a lot of things mom took me to.
  • AW Okay.
  • KK Oh god.
  • --
  • AW Alright...Well, you know, I'm going to give you a break, I'm going to stop right now. The time is at 10: 14 A.M.
  • AW Kip, I'm going to turn the tape recorder back on. The time is at 10: 24 A.M.
  • I just have a couple more questions for you and you may or may not have the answer for me. I want you to do the best you can, okay. You're shaking your head yes, the tape recorder doesn't pick up, you know, body movements that sort of stuff so.
  • KK Alright.
  • AW Okay...That's fine...Can I get you to scoot up just a little closer to the tape recorder cause I know this is not easy for you to talk about, it's not easy for me to ask you these questions, you know, but I'm trying to figure our why, why this happened so I can kind of put it in perspective for everybody, okay.
  • Why did you move your dad's body into the bathroom?
  • KK I felt like I had to do something.
  • AW Did you move him so that mom wouldn't walk in and see him.
  • KK I moved him because he was supposed to be on his back and I don't know.
  • AW Why did you cover him with a sheet?
  • KK It just felt like the right thing to do.
  • AW Okay...You did it out of respect for him?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW When did you decide in your mind that you had to kill your mom, before you shot your dad?
  • KK Afterwards.
  • AW Afterwards.
  • KK My dad kept saying how my embarrassed she was
  • going to be and how horrible I was and I couldn't let my mom feel like
  • that. I couldn't do anything else. There's no other way.
  • AW Had I been standing in your garage or riding with your mom, would you have shot your mom?
  • KK I don't know.
  • AW There's probably at least two hours from the time you shot your dad until your mom got home.
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW What did you do to prepare yourself for you having to shoot your mom.
  • KK I cried. I said I was so sorry. I had to though. I had to.
  • AW You said you were waiting for her.
  • KK Mm hu (yes).
  • AW where were you waiting for her at?
  • KK In the living room so I could see when the car came up.
  • AW And when she pulled in the garage and the garage door came down and she got out of her car, where were you?
  • KK I don't know I can't remember.
  • AW Were you hiding somewhere in the garage so that she had to walk past you?
  • KK No, I came down and helped her with her bags, bring them up.
  • AW Where was the gun at that point?
  • KK It was on my hip.
  • AW On your hip?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW And what kind of gun was that?
  • KK It was a .22, oh god.
  • AW Was it the 10.22 or was it the pistol?
  • KK It was the pistol .
  • AW It was the pistol. Who are these friends that called? Do you have names on those friends?
  • KK My friends had nothing to do with it.
  • AW Yeah, but, I know---
  • KK I don't want them to get in trouble.
  • AW They're not in trouble but you did talk to them and I think it's important that...Who were your friends that called?
  • KK I talked to Tony.
  • AW Tony go to school with you?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW And what's Tony's last name?
  • KK McCown
  • AW McCown. Do you have a phone number for Tony?
  • KK I don't know...It's on my watch.
  • AW Okay....Does Tony live up near you on Chita Loop?
  • KK No, he lives close to the school.
  • AW Okay, but it's Tony McCowan, is he a freshman?
  • KK Yes.
  • AW When did Tony call? Do you remember?
  • KK He called about 3: 15.
  • AW Did he kind of want to know what was up at school?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Did you guys talk about that?
  • KK Yeah.
  • AW Had you already shot your dad at that point?
  • KK No.
  • AW No, okay. So who else called or did you call someone?
  • KK No, Tony called and Nick and they were like on the party line thing, we were all talking so nick didn't call me, I called him.
Jacob Teaches Newt Pick Up Lines
  • Newt: Are you sure this is going to work?
  • Jacob: Absolutely positive, you can do it! (Y/N) will definitely notice your feelings for her!
  • Newt: Okay then...
  • 1st Try
  • (Y/N): Let's go look for more beasts!
  • Newt: If you're looking for a fantastic beast, I know where to find one.
  • (Y/N): Of course silly, there are so many amazing creatures in your case! Good title idea for your book too by the way!
  • 2nd Try
  • (Y/N): Newt, did you lose something?
  • Newt: *on all fours*
  • Newt: Are you by any chance a Niffler? Because you've stolen my precious heart of gold.
  • Tina: Are you blind? Does she look like that crazy creature of yours? (Y/N), you should take that as an insult.
  • (Y/N): They are simply adorable though...
  • 3rd Try
  • (Y/N): I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
  • Newt: Can I Slytherin?
  • (Y/N): I thought you were Hufflepuff and proud...
  • Queenie: What's a Hufflepuff?
  • 4th Try
  • Newt: Are you a Bowtruckle?
  • (Y/N): Nope, last time I checked. Why?
  • Newt: Because you've managed to pick the lock on my heart.
  • Jacob: Hearts don't have locks genius, even I know that.
  • Newt:
  • Jacob: Oh yeah...oops
  • 5th Try
  • Newt: If you were a Dementor, I'd become a criminal just to get your kiss.
  • Queenie: I knew he was a criminal!
  • Tina: Queenie, I already took him in, his case is clean and clear.
  • (Y/N): Actually, his leather case is a little dirty.
  • Newt: You won't be complaining when I get you all dirty.
  • (Y/N): Sorry, I'll feed the Dung Beetles this time. I'll stop complaining now.
  • 6th Try
  • (Y/N): Is it me or is it a little dark in here?
  • Newt: You don't need to cast Lumos Maxima to turn me on.
  • *accidentally casts spell*
  • (Y/N): That's the perfect amount of light! Thanks Newt!
  • 7th Try
  • Newt: I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.
  • Tina: Hmm, good idea we should all learn it so Queenie doesn't constantly barge into our minds like they're her own.
  • 8th Try
  • Jacob: (Y/N), can you pass me that rolling pin that's all the way over there on that far table?
  • (Y/N): Of course! Accio!
  • Newt: You don't need to say Accio to make me come.
  • (Y/N): Of course not silly, this charm doesn't usually work on humans.
  • 9th Try
  • (Y/N): Quidditch is the best game ever.
  • Newt: What position do you play?
  • (Y/N): Chaser.
  • Newt: Me too! But you're a chaser? I was sure you were a keeper.
  • (Y/N): Nah, I couldn't save a goal if my life depended on it.
  • Later...
  • Newt: I give up
Raw and Honest Marriage Reflection Conversation with M
  • Me: I'm working on myself and would love to hear if you notice anything.
  • M: Am I missing something you're wanting me to notice?
  • Me: No, not that I know offhandedly.
  • M: I feel like I failed a test lol.
  • Me: I have been working on changing how I view things so that my approach could be better. Would be better. A little cognitive behavior therapy on myself. Thoughts become actions and actions become thoughts. So I'm working on both.
  • M: Awesome.
  • Me: For example like at the park when my friend left and I stayed there with Jumping Bean. I? was on edge watching for any man to enter the area but I stayed and played with him the entire time. And than how I responded to the bullies. I pretty much completely ignored them after immediately dismissing them. Normally I would have gotten right back into their face when they got into mine.
  • M: I'm proud for how you handled those girls babe. And you are totally on the right track. You are having a positive outlook more often than not and you aren't letting the little things bother you as much.
  • Me: I want to do better. For myself, our son, and you too.
  • M: And that's the right order to do things.
  • Me: I'll continue to work on it and improve. I have noticed some personal differences in myself but I don't think they are apparent yet.
  • M: Like what?
  • Me: Honestly? I'm not sure if I should say it. I don't want to hurt you. Do you still want to know?
  • M: Well now I have to know.
  • Me: Honestly, I don't feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
  • M: What do you mean by that?
  • Me: I felt like I was constantly getting scolded by you for the smallest infractions. As if I was a small child getting spoken down to.
  • M: Could you give me an example?
  • Me: If I would say something slightly in disagreement with you you would speak down to me until I backed up. Essentially telling me I'm wrong every time I spoke or did something. I realized just how much that conditioning effected me and how much I didn't say or do something because I didn't want to be looked down at nor spoken down to by you. It made me feel like I could never tell you anything. You would even say a comment or give me a look while my friends were over and I would immediately shut down until you left again.
  • M: I had no idea. I love you babe you shouldn't have to feel that way around me. Glad I left then.
  • Me: I love you so much babe. And I always wanted to make you happy and proud but in the process I've given up and lost a lot of myself and never truly realized how much. How ingrained it had become. I like like none of my passions mattered. For a small example was when I shared something a friend had said, and you gave me that look and said something like "Why would they say that? My friends and I never would," in that tone of voice that just made me disappear. A tone of voice that made me feel as if I was a total disappointment to you. When all that I had shared was that several of my new friends found me attractive, my new friends whom you know are open and honest about who they are attracted to while still being extremely respectable and not going near the boundaries.
  • M: I'm sorry my love. Something else for me to work on while I'm here.
  • Me: It's been years upon years of it. I realized that I go dead silent or worse agree with you when you'd say something that I was not okay with at all that anyone else I'd confront them immediately about. It's all things that all of my friends have been telling me for years but I never understood what they truly meant when they told me until a bit after you left for this training.
  • "You're not yourself around him."
  • "You seem different."
  • "Are you okay? Are you sick?"
  • Are some of the things I've been told.
  • M: So then ... Do you want to try to work this out once I get home or ... ?
  • Me: Absolutely yes love. I knew I was more reserved around you than anyone else but it never hit me just how different I had allowed myself to become for you, for our relationship. I love you so much babe and I always have. I don't want to lose you. I didn't want to hurt you at all.
  • M: I'm not hurt and don't worry about hurting me. It's the truth and it needed to be said. And now that I know we can focus on that.
  • Me: I knew it was an issue and had tried to tell you in the past multiple times but it took a few weeks apart to realize how much. Does me ever telling you something along the lines of my throat closing up when I try to tell you soemthing or my voice getting choked up ring a bell?
  • M: Yes.
  • Me: Or me trying to tell you something and looking away and fidgeting while I tried to tell you something bring up any memories? During each and every of those moments you were employing the scolding voice and/or look. So often that even when you were not yet I knew it was only a matter of time. I was being scolded and punished for any and all infrastructures I felt. You would withhold love and affection and give me the silent treatment too for my infrastructures. For hours at a time. You've sent me to bed too, banished me rather.
  • M: Okay, that one I don't really remember, but I get your point. I have been an abusive shit of a boyfriend/husband. And I'll work on it and pay more attention to you and what you need.
  • Me: I don't think you're a shit, not purposefully, but I do think things were getting toxic between us on both sides. I love you so much babe and I don't want to lose you. I do NOT want us to break up. I want to be with you if we can fix our relationship. I desperately want to work this out babe.
  • M: Let's do it then.
  • Me: How do we? How do we find ourselves and each other again? How do we fix this?
  • M: Be yourself and do your thing while I am here doing my thing. We come back together as each other. Possibly get couples counseling when we get to our next location after my training is finished.
  • Me: What if you hate me? You already told me in November if you met me today as I am as the man that you are today you wouldn't be interested in me. It already broke my heart when you told me that.
  • M: I can assure you that I don't hate you. And we are different people now than we were then. The best advice Dad ever gave me was that love changes because people change. You will love differently because you are different. But it's still love. I still love you babe.
  • Me: Still loving me has never been a question but you were acting and essentially said that you didn't like the person I am today. I've been reserved and holding myself in check for you. I can only imagine how much you'd be against the real me.
  • M: I'm sorry that it came across that way. I love you and only you.
  • Me: I've long ago learned that I've never been monogamous with love. It may be five or more years between loving another, but it is there always.
  • M: And we will work with that.
  • Me: Is this something that will destroy you? Destroy us?
  • M: Can't give an answer to that unknown. Honestly. But I want to be with you.
  • Me: I guess it boils down to one of us will have to give something up. Neither of us has control over our hearts. I know it has been a point of tension in our entire relationship. I tried to be mono for you for many years, but about halfway through your our relationship after you returned from deployment I couldn't do it anymore no matter how hard I tried. Since than our relationship has been open since we opened it, but I remained reserved for you, for us. Nobody else was worth my time and effort to get to know other than Kitten while we dated her and when I met and formed a strong connection with Red Stag during which I've developed emotions for him and him for me. I've fallen hard for him.
  • M: We will do better love. I don't want to lose you, nor you lose yourself.

phantomchick  asked:

Hey there! I went through your masterlist and couldn't find what i was looking for, sorry if i missed it somehow. My question is about Comedy! How do you write a good funny scene? One that'll actually make a reader laugh out loud or at least smile? I don't just mean funny dialogue, i mean situationally - right now i'm writing a scene where one character knows something the others don't and that's supposed to be 1 of the reasons its funny to read. But i don't think i'm executing it right somehow.

You are correct in that I have not posted about comedy, but thank you for taking the time to check!

Intentional, planned-out comedy is honestly something I’m not the best at, so I invite others to add to this post if they think they can help. But I can still give you some pointers and help explain what makes a scene funny for what you’re trying to do.

First thing you need to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t base your scene on whether or not you can expect your readers to actually laugh because then you run this risk of things being forced. I’m a super stoic reader (and generally unfunny person) who can register that a scene is funny but never actually emote. That doesn’t mean the author failed, I’m just a hardass in even that aspect of life. Different types of comedy also speak to different people and you can’t really write a scene to cater to everyone.

Also, don’t tell the reader that the scene is supposed to be funny because then they’re prepared and you’re setting yourself up to fail. If the scene just plays out and they don’t laugh, that’s not really a failure because there were no expectations. Let things flow naturally and trust in the subtleties to show the comedy.

That aside, there are a few general comedy tools that might help you for that scene (and yes, they can totally be combined, many of them overlap if pulled in certain directions):

1. The Rule of Three, which I feel like every single person has come across at some point. This is about the rhythm of language where the idea is to establish a pattern and then throw it off. Three is used because it is the minimal number possible to establish this pattern. What did Joe go to jail for? Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

2. Unexpected humor. A character bursts in with something that changes the direction of the scene, or says something so out of the blue that it had comedic value.

3. Oddly specific humor, usually seen in lies or excuses. “Where’s my sister?” “Walking her pigeon.” (another example of a line I once heard someone spout in college: “I’d rather bludgeon my toe with a Fischer Price toy.” It was so memorable to hear it’s still in my mind all these years later….)

4. Tone. Though this can be character-specific in usage. Not every narrator is cracking one-liners or monologues with sarcasm, but the narrator of that scene has an effect on comedic value. Take for example, this excerpt from An Assassin’s Blade trilogy by Justin DePaoli. If there’s one thing this author did well, it’s tone contributing to humor:

5. The “beat”, which is a pause for comedic purposes, usually indicated by a new paragraph or short character action. In visual media, the moment when all sound ceases and the character just stares forward before speaking or moving again. (Another expert from the same series as before, the “beat” being “He frowned”):

6. Exaggeration, which can especially happen if the narrator is nervous! Using grand or odd language about mundane things can invoke a level of humor that is unique to written media.

Humor in writing is about pacing and being careful not to make things too dramatic. It’s always better to under-write comedy that over-write it, unless the entire premise of the book/scene is absurdism. If the comedy in your scene is going to stem from some characters’ lack of knowledge, I’d toe the line of them almost finding out. Maybe the narrator is acting odd because they don’t want to talk about it? Show the discomfort. Maybe one of the characters almost gets it but makes a fundamental error in judgement? 

Having a few different people read the scene would really help you here.

Comedy can be tricky! Good luck working with it!

Happy birthday, Riko-chan!


Or should I say Princess Riko?
Because this fic turned into something that even I wasn’t expecting … :’) it might turn into a proper AU if people enjoy it haha … But I really don’t know how this fic will be received, so for now, I just hope that you’ll have fun reading it, or that you’ll just enjoy it a little …

Thanks for your time again, guys! But don’t expect a wild party and cake and candles and all, we’re kinda far from all this


Once all the guests have taken a seat and comfortably settled down, loud chatter erupts and fills the huge dining hall, much to Riko’s great displeasure. It is not like she isn’t happy to be here, at the head of the table with the two Queens –her parents– sitting next to her, surrounded by most of the servants who saw her grow up … and, of course, by far too many acquaintances.

No, honestly. Riko loves dining with her doting parents, and with ‘Auntie’ Tsubasa and ‘Auntie’ Honoka, two housemaids who are close friends with her Mama and Mommy, and whom she holds close to her heart. But, dining today with so many strangers is quite unnerving and nerve-wracking for the crimson-haired beauty. She couldn’t care less about the old aristocrats who were invited to her baptism years ago ; she couldn’t even care less about the other royal families, who are certainly here today out of obligation.

Truthfully, Riko would rather run away from that formal dinner than stay here, on her comfy seat, listening to the annoying chit-chat of all those toffs. She knows that the Queens aren’t the ones who orchestrated all this. After all, they are so thoughtful, so nice and so involved when it comes to their little princess that the idea of organizing a big ceremony for Riko’s twentieth birthday would have never crossed their mind. It is certainly their old and exasperating advisor behind this … setup. But her parents must have agreed because it was an occasion for them to adorn most of the rooms and halls and corridors with Riko’s favorite flowers –among all the flowers the princess tends to on a day-to-day basis.

Riko’s love for gardening comes from her childhood, the moment when her Mommy unconsciously conveyed her passion for plants and flowers to her. Riko remembers it as if it were yesterday : she was barely starting to learn how to speak when, one day, she escaped from her Mama and Honoka in the kitchens and ran to the garden. Where she bumped into her Mommy, who was watering a bush of light blue flowers. A few years later, she learnt that they were hydrangeas –and they quickly became her favorite–, while learning at the same time how to tend to an entire garden and everything related to the world of flowers.

“Mommy,” Riko once asked as she was sitting in the grass, the Queen tenderly braiding her daughter’s shoulder-length hair, “Why did you tell Auntie Tsubasa to take our pink p- … Peonies for her wedding bouquet?”

“Because peonies are known to be a symbol of romance and love, and even of beauty and honor,” her Mommy replied, fingers combing a few unruly crimson locks. “Pink peonies are often used in wedding bouquets, and I want your aunties to express their love for each other even with the bouquet.”

“Oh … Can they put my favorite flowers in their bouquet?”

Riko leaned her head back when she heard an uncharacteristic snort behind her, meeting her Mommy’s amused lilac eyes. “Unfortunately sweetheart, no one should make a wedding bouquet with blue hydrangeas.”

“Why? Don’t the other flowers mean love and beauty and grace? Like, all the flowers?”

“No,” Anju answered her daughter after tying the end of the braid with a magenta
kosumosu. “Yours, as it happens, don’t really represent love between two persons. If you give a blue hydrangea to someone, it means that you’re turning them down … With refinement,” the Queen giggled before seizing the ivory watering can, on which were drawn blossoms.

Riko stood up and grabbed her mother’s hand, following her under an arch with ivy and climbing roses creeping it up. “Mommy, can you tell me more about the flowers?”

“Of course.” She smiled, before loosening her grip around the little girl’s hand and handing her the watering can. “What if you water the tulips and I tell you everything about them, for now?”


Riko heaves a discreet sigh as she straightens her back once again, lowering her gaze and looking at the empty plate in front of her. Ah, she desperately wishes she could have shared this copious meal with someone else. How she misses those amazing sapphire irises …

Keep reading

Being Too Normal For Your Own Good
  • Dude: So what are you into?
  • Normal Girl: Eh, you know, work.
  • Dude: Just work? Do you like any music?
  • Normal Girl: Whatever's on the radio, I guess.
  • Dude: Like pop music?
  • Normal Girl: Do they play that on the radio?
  • Dude: It's all they play on the radio.
  • Normal Girl: Oh...
  • Dude: ...
  • Normal Girl: ...
  • Dude: So, do you do anything. Do you have any sort of interests? Hobbies? Likes? Dislikes? Kinks? Anything?
  • Normal Girl: *scratches her head* I like watching TV shows.
  • Dude: ...Yeah?
  • Normal Girl: On NBC.
  • Dude: *gets up from his seat* I think I'll be going now. I only date interesting girls.
  • Normal Girl: Wait, don't go!
  • Dude: What is it?
  • Normal Girl: Bye.
  • Dude: *groans*
  • Normal Girl: *looks around nervously* Gosh, I did it again. I scared off another potential friend. I tried so hard this time? I was even specific about the channel I watch television on. Is it true that I'm too normal? You, waitress!
  • Waitress: *turns around* Me? How may I help you?
  • Normal Girl: What food is served here?
  • Waitress: Pizza and other Italian dishes.
  • Normal Girl: Now ask me what I'd like to eat.
  • Waitress: Uhh, what would like to eat, ma'am.
  • Normal Girl: Just two slices of plain cheese pizza would be fine.
  • Waitress: *giggles under her breath*
  • Normal Girl: Why are you giggling? What's so funny.
  • Waitress: I'm sorry, ma'am. It's just that your order is so, how do I put this, normal.
  • Normal Girl: No, it can't be normal! I need to spice it up! Let me get pepperonis on that pizza.
  • Waitress: Would that be all, ma'am.
  • Normal Girl: Wait, no! Also a soda. A lemon lime soda!
  • Waitress: *guffaws*
  • Normal Girl: What is it now?
  • Waitress: Everything you ordered is so average and reasonable. You must be a very well mannered woman.
  • Normal Girl: There has to be some sort of topping that's so weird that it shatters any notion that I'm normal.
  • Waitress: Really? *cracks an evil smirk* I'm all ears.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Think, you idiot. Think! Think about all of the possible pizza toppings you've ever heard of and just blurt out the weirdest, one. You're a big weirdo. You know you can do it! SO DO IT!
  • Normal Girl: *calmly* I think that'd be all, thank you.
  • Waitress: You're welcome ma'am, your order should be ready in a few minutes.
  • Normal Girl: No! I messed up! Why did I say that? I was trying so hard to think up something weird, but I couldn't do it. Something's not right here.
  • *the restaurant goes deathly quiet*
  • Normal Girl: *looks around confused, leaves the restaurant* Where is everyone. It's so desolate and empty now.
  • Old Crone: *crawls out from out of a sewer drain*
  • Normal Girl: Gross. Who are you?
  • Old Crone: The universe was spun from yarn, dear. Everyone was made with a purpose by the Yarnheart and some people were made to be bastions of stability. You are one of those very stable people.
  • Normal Girl: Thanks for the exposition old lady, but what exactly is going on here.
  • Old Crone: You've been a bore your whole life, dear. You can't just decide to be interesting out of nowhere. Me, I'm very interesting and I want to be boring. You wouldn't believe it from just looking at me, but I'm only twenty seven and I have the stamina of a clydesdale. I live everyday of my life on the fringes of reality. It's so exciting that you might as well say that it's purely terrifying. It's very rare that two opposites such as us are able to meet. Sickly and youthful. Normal and weird. If you want to break away from your normalcy, now is the time to do it.
  • Normal Girl: *glances back the restaurant* I have to pay for my pizza.
  • Old Crone: Forget the damn pizza. *reaches into your her chest and pulls out a ball of yarn* Did you see that? You can do the same. Pull out your heart and trade with me. You can live the life you want to, and I can live mine. This may be our only chance to ever do this.
  • Normal Girl: *sweats nervously* Yeah, but I can't do that without paying for my pizza first. It would be rude. *walks back to the restaurant*
  • Old Crone: I won't let you go! *lunges for the normal girl and pins her to the ground* Give me your heart!
  • Normal Girl: Get off of me you horrible, woman! *knocks away her ball of yarn and it unfurls*
  • Old Crone: Ah, fuck! *poofs into dust*
  • Normal Girl: *wipes herself off* That was weird... I didn't like it. *returns to the restaurant*
  • Waitress: Here you go, ma'am. Two slices of pepperoni pizza and a lemon lime soda.
  • Normal Girl: Thank you, it looks okay-ish. *eats her pizza but feels uncomfortable*
  • Normal Girl: *reaches into her chest and pulls out her heart*
  • Heart: *beats*
  • Normal Girl: Eh, it's just a normal heart. I knew I didn't have a ball of yarn inside of me. Old folks are weird. I hope I don't get like that when I get older. *places her heart and the table and continues eating pizza*
South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut : Sentence Starters
  • "Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot."
  • "What is five times two?"
  • "OK, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard."
  • "I'm Sorry ________, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
  • "Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!"
  • "You're too young for this stuff!"
  • "Hey! It IS ________'s mom!"
  • "Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?"
  • "Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing."
  • "Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker!"
  • "Respect my fuckin' authority!"
  • "You need to watch your mouth, brat."
  • "I know I was mean before. But don't worry - I can change!"
  • "Dog-shit taco!"
  • "Oh fuck."
  • "Who's a fuckin' bitch? ________'s Mooooooooom!"
  • "Blame Canada!"
  • "I don't listen to hip-hop."
  • "Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"
  • "I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars."
  • "I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him."
  • "Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck!"
  • "Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty words!"
  • "Suck my balls."
  • "What the heck is a rimjob?"
  • "I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average."
  • "It's this V-Chip, I hate it!"
  • "I can't say any dirty words."
  • "And you can't say Shit?"
  • "I'm warning you!"
  • "She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair."
  • "________, did you just say the F-word?"
  • "No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!"
  • "Why the fuck not?"
  • "What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody."
  • "How would you like to suck my balls?"
  • "Holy shit, dude."
  • "Get the fuck out of here!"
  • "Notice, that nothing happens."
  • "Success! The child doesn't want to swear!"
  • "Go on, honey. It's all right."
  • "Let me have some candy."
  • "Like you really need all that chocolate."
  • "We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live."
  • "What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now?"
  • "I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two."
  • "I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone."
  • "For ________, I'll be an activist too."
  • "Some people say that I'm a bad guy, they may be right."
  • "Any minute now I will be born again!"
  • "What if you remain a sandy little butt-hole?"
  • "Hey Satan, don't be such a twit."
  • "Mother Theresa won't have shit on me!"
  • "Man, this movie gets better every time I see it!"
  • "I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire."
  • "This stick is on fire!"
  • "Oh my God, you killed ________!"
  • "You bastard!"
  • "How come you always want to make love to me from behind?"
  • "Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?"
  • "Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?"
  • "Sure, hon."
  • "Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris."
  • "It isn't like this film is the first troublesome thing to come out of Canada. Let us not forget Bryan Adams."
  • "Now, now, the Canadian Government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions!"
  • "Can I finish? Please, can I finish?"
  • "I think we're fighting Canadians."
  • "Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?"
  • "Fuck is the worst word that you can say."
  • "Fuck Canada!"
  • "Hey fuck you buddy!"
  • "Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch."
  • "I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?"
  • "I seriously doubt that ________ ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker"."
  • "Well you fucked your uncle yesterday."
  • "Goodbye, you guys."
  • "You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet!"
  • "What do you think this is kid?"
  • "The word is "forensics"."
  • "Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?"
  • "I'm super! Thanks for asking!"
  • "Looks like we may be out of luck."
  • "Don't kick the baby."
  • "Hold me."
  • "Why should we fucking have to spell forensics?"
  • "There is no hope now, you must get out of here."
  • "Were is your God when you need him, huh? Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now?"
  • "We can't leave without you! We don't know where the hell we are!"
  • "I can't face my mother."
  • "Our freedom shall be won."
  • "Though I die... La Resistance lives... on..."
  • "SHIT!"
  • "What the fuck are they fighting for?"
  • "When did this song become a marathon?"
  • "Here I come, God. Here I come, you fucking rat."
  • "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?"
  • "I hope you've learned something from this whole experience."
  • "Wanna see the northern lights?"
  • "You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart."
  • "You MUST shut of the alarms!"
  • "I fucking hate guard dogs!"
  • "I heard you the first time you British piece of shit."
  • "This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture."
  • "The sun is shining and the grass is green. Under the three feet of snow, I mean."
  • "It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him."
  • "That movie has warped my fragile little mind."
  • "What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here."
  • "I saw the __________ movie. Now who wants to touch me?"
  • "Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end."
  • "Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time."
  • "What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth!"
  • "Thank you Clitoris!"
  • "Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?"
  • "Man, this kid is fucked up!"
  • "Last words? How's about: "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" How's that for last words?"
  • "Did you bring the buttfor?"
  • "What, is that like finding Jesus or something?"
Say Something: AoT Pairing Lyrics
  • PetraxLevi: Say something I'm giving up on you.
  • JeanxMikasa: I'll be the one, if you want me to.
  • ArminxEren: Anywhere I would've followed you.
  • YmirxHistoria: Say something I'm giving up on you.
  • ArminxAnnie: and feeling so small.
  • ErwinxLevi: It was over my head. I know nothing at all.
  • ErenxLevi: and I...will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love. Just starting to crawl.
  • ErenxAnnie: Say something I'm giving up on you.
  • JeanxMarco: and I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. 😥
  • MikasaxArmin: Anywhere I would've followed you.
  • BertholdtxAnnie: Say something, I'm giving up on you.
  • ErwinxArmin: and I...will swallow my pride.
  • MikasaxEren: You're the one that I love.
  • MikexHanji: and I'm saying goodbye.
  • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  • Bertholdt, Annie, Reiner x all 104th: Say something I'm giving up on you.
  • ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vic Fuentes Fan Fiction
****TRIGGER WARNING****  This imagine includes self harm and suicide references. It is not meant to romanticise either thing in anyway, and if you are going through either of these things, please feel free to message me anytime. Um yeah so I wrote this imagine because I was reading some other ones and got inspired, plus there’s nothing better to do between midnight and five in the morning. I’ve never written one before, so tell me if it’s really bad, Everything’s Not Alright:
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So this is it. I can feel myself growing weaker and weaker. I want to phone for help. No, this is what’s best for everyone. I look over to where the note I scrawled earlier lies in the sink, along with the blood stained blade that was clasped in my hand until my hand was too weak to grip it, and it fell on top of my note to Vic. I didn’t want the note make me sound weak, or attention seeking, or selfish, or anything really, I just had to explain. He deserved that at least.  It wasn’t that I thought he’s miss me. I mean, it would shock him, and he would be upset initially. But he could do better. He could do so much better - everyone could. They’d all be better off without me.  So I kept the note simple. ‘Vic,I know you must have some understanding of how I feel, I hear you sing about this kind of thing a lot, I know how you’ve felt, and I’m so glad that’s all behind you now. You’re gonna do so great baby, you’ve still got so much left to give, and I don’t want to hold you back. I can’t hold you back. And that’s why it’s okay that I go. Please don’t feel like you should’ve done something, because I want you to know that you did. You did everything. You were the one person who made me feel beautiful once again. Even if it was just temporarily.I love you so much, and if I mean anything to you, sorry but I’ve made up my mind x’ The pills have begun to kick in, I feel so drowsy now, barely able to keep my eyes open, or focus my mind clearly on anything. Although there is one thing that keeps re-surfacing. I can’t help remembering Vic’s face, when he saw my cuts for the first time, after he came back from a gig one night. I think he genuinely cared. Have I done the right thing? Should I not have taken them? No, it’s okay, he’ll be okay. He’s strong, and he doesn’t need something like me holding him back. He almost didn’t play his show tonight because he’d been worried about me. Well that will be okay now, he won’t have to worry again. He’ll be free. I’ll be free. I’m in that twilight zone now. I’m not     quite            here.  I can hear my heart beat, getting louder and louder. Or is it footsteps coming up the stairs?  Crash. The sound of the bathroom door slamming into the wall behind it made it clear. Vic was home. Shit. I’d hoped to not have to be awake when he got back, but as soon as he came into view, my brain welcomed the image of his soft face.  ’Fuck. Babe, what’ve you done? Wha’. He whispered, because his voice wasn’t quite there. He couldn’t even finish his sentence before his trembling lip lead to a full break down into tears. He leant over me, placed an arm beneath my knees, and one behind my back and left arm, and scooped me up and out of the empty bath, clutching me close.  My drowsy eyes looked up into his, I recognised the desperation. When he spoke this time, it was barely audible, but easy to read on his lips. 'Why?’.  As he came close to breaking down again, I could feel his body quivering underneath me. He lay me down on the floor softly, before the quivering became more rapid, and he started shaking uncontrollably. *Vic’s Point of View* I couldn’t control my breathing, it was rapid and uneven. Why had she done this to herself? How had she done this? How had she carved so many deep cuts into her beautiful body?  Looking around for help, my eyes found the empty pill bottle that had been flung across the floor. As the adrenaline pumped through my body, I sat her up and pressed my fingers to the back of her throat, but she was too drowsy to react. I can’t give up. I begin to pat her increasingly harder on the back, and ram my fingers towards the back of her throat this time. I hesitate for a split second each time I do it, I don’t want to hurt her, I can’t stand being so forceful to something so delicate, but there’s no other way, she needs this to stay alive. I look down at her with such desperation, and yet again force my fingers deep into her mouth, and this time she gags. With sign of hope, I quickly repeat my actions, and finally she wretches, bringing up the contents of her stomach.  *Normal Point of View*  I suddenly begin to feel a lot more real, like I’ve been pulled back into the world. Why? Why did he do this? Couldn’t he see that this was what was best for him? I couldn’t have him constantly worrying about me when I wasn’t with him, that’s no life, and he deserved better. So why would he do this?  He’s still being quite rough with me, after I finish gaging, he cleans me up and lifts me to sit on the edge of the bath, resting me against the wall for the brief moment he turns his back on me, his hand never leaving mine. With his other hand, he quickly reaches into the cupboard and grabs a bottle, spins back round and empties the contents onto my arms, thighs and sides. The pain that had begun to fade with the drowsiness gushes back through my body, into each individual gash. My body jumps as I tense up and yell out in pain, but he grabs me and pulls me in close. After the initial flood of pain subsides, I relax my body a little, and Vic leans me back up against the wall. He says something as he rushes out of the bathroom, but I don’t pay much attention. I feel so exhausted and weak, emotionally and physically. I close my eyes. Vic comes racing back into the room with a huge roll of soft white bandages, and, more gently this time, approaches me and begins to lift my arm and wrap it carefully. Each time I wince he pauses and looks at me apologetically, and each time I give him a weak smile, to let him know I’m okay.  He tends to each part of my torn flesh, then, being careful to avoid touching any of the wounded areas, he lifts me and carries me through to our bedroom.  He lies me down, pulls the blanket up from the bottom of the bed, then wraps my body with his, gently kissing the back of my head. I close my eyes, and fall asleep almost immediately. The few times I wake up, I look around, panicked, but Vic’s still right there, wide awake, holding me tight. The next day, I wake up late in the afternoon, and hear Vic talking to someone downstairs, he sounds as though he’s crying. By the time I gather up the strength to sit up, and get out of bed, Vic has come in, his phone in his hand.  I smile at him, and he rushes over and sits me back down, he can see I’m trembling with the effort of standing.  'Who was that on the phone?’ I ask. 'Oh, you heard? I wasn’t sure that you were awake.’ 'I only heard you just as you were hanging up’. He looks at the floor, then up at me. 'It was Tony,’ he says, 'he says he’s coming over to see how you are. He was, uh, devistated when I told him.’ 'You told Tony?!’ I wasn’t annoyed at Vic, but Tony had been my best friend since we were kids, and he’s already dealt with enough of my shit. 'All the guys knew what I suspected when I left the gig last night, I’m sorry. I did try and tell him you probably wouldn’t be up for seeing anyone, but he said he had to see you. He sounded desperate.’ 'It’s okay Vic, it’ll be okay seeing him. I guess I’ll have to clean myself up a bit then’, I say, as I glance in the mirror on the wall. 'I look like utter shit.’ He’s about to say something, when I stand up, and with all the strength I can gather, walk across to my dressing table, and pick up my hairbrush. I begin to lift the brush to my head, but my arms feel so heavy today. Seeing me struggle, Vic comes over. 'Here,’ he says, as he sits me down on the floor at the end of the bed, and he sits on the bed. Then he carefully takes the loose bun which he must have tied last night, unties the band, and begins to brush my hair gently. I let my head fall back onto his lap as he continues to brush my hair slowly, and after a while, I feel him begin to tremble. Although I’m facing away from him, I can feel him crying. Here it comes. 'Why did you do it babe?!’ he blurts out. I begin to tremble as well, and tears fill my eyes, but I remain silent. 'I don’t… I can’t… I mean… What if I’d got home five minutes later? What if you’d taken the pills five minutes earlier? What if you’d done something that killed you instantly? I just can’t help thinking about all these what ifs!’ I want to say something, I want to explain, but I can’t. The back of my throat starts to sting, and no words come out. But then, all of a sudden, my words find me again.  'I couldn’t do it anymore! I couldn’t live my life watching you be, well, you, and know that you had to put up with me everyday. You’re beyond perfect and I don’t even compare to you, and if you weren’t going to let me break up with you for your own sake, I had to find another way of freeing you!'  His hands had stopped brushing my hair now, and he pulls his legs up into his chest and rests his head into his knees. It was obvious he was in floods of tears, but I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t see him like that, it would break me. 'You don’t need to be perfect, because you’re perfect for me! I don’t go out with you because I feel sorry for you, or because I feel like I can’t break up with you, or because you’re best friends with Tony, or for any other reason, it because I’m so fucking deeply, madly, stupidly in love with you okay?!’ He was yelling pretty loud, and he realises. His voice becomes more gentle as he slides down onto the floor next to me, and touches my cheek for me to look at him. 'I’m so fucking in love with you, and I couldn’t live if anything happened to you.’ 'I’m sorry,’ I whisper through my tears, and he pulls me in close and presses his face against mine. *A couple of hours later*  The doorbell rings, and Vic gets up from lying behind me on the sofa. I hear him unlatch the door, and as soon as it opens, Tony throws himself into Vic’s arms, giving him a reassuring hug. Their hug lasts for at least a minute, then I hear Tony ask where I am. He runs through to the sitting room doorway, where he sees me, and stops. We make eye contact, and I can see the sadness in his eyes. He walks across the room, and as I sit up, he flings himself around me. I wince as the cuts in my body twinge, but smile. He holds me tight, like he has so many times before, then, when he eventually pulls back, looks me straight in the eye, and smiles. 'Im so glad you’re okay’. He kisses me on the forehead, then rejoins Vic, who was stood watching from the doorway.  As I lie back down, I can hear them talking in the kitchen, they both sound so emotional, I can’t believe I did this to them.  That night in bed, I roll over to face Vic, who’s eyes are closed, but I know he is awake.  'I love you so much.’ I whisper. His eyes remain closed, but he smiles. 'I love you too babe, more than you could ever imagine.’
Mommy's Home
  • Yeah, Yeah. I know Genos still hasn't made his appearance yet in the manga. But I won't let that stop my imagination from running wild. Xp
  • -Door Opens-
  • Genos: I'm sorry it took so long to return. The repairs and upgrades took much more time to configure for the Doctor...
  • -Mini Genos' crowd around him-
  • Mini Genos': Danna!/ Welcome Home!/Mommy!
  • Genos: It's good to see everyone. Has everything been well in my absence?
  • -nods-
  • Genos: Good, I'll expect a full report from everyone tomorrow then.
  • -pats a few on the head-
  • Saitama: Ah, welcome back. Hey you guys, get things set before dinner gets cold.
  • Mini Genos: Kaaaay~!
  • -They leave the two. Saitama wraps his arms around him before he can say another word-
  • Saitama: Geez, where the hell were you? You could have at least let me know you'd be coming back today. And surprising me with those little guys without telling me...
  • Genos: I'm sorry, Sensei. I'd been meaning to, but I just didn't get a chance during my recent maintenance check.
  • -He smiled as he gave him a gentle kiss-
  • Saitama: It's fine. At least your home...
  • -Feels numerous eyes on them and looks down-
  • Mini Genos': Sensei, can't we get some, too?/If it's not too much trouble.../We'd like one...
  • -Genos snickers as Saitama rolls his eyes-
  • Saitama: Alright, alright. Line up then...But we gotta be quick about it. Don't want to miss our dinner.
  • -Before he bends down to pick up the first one he leans back with a grin-
  • Saitama: [whispers] Though I'll probably give something a little 'extra special' for you later tonight.[to the Mini Genos Crew] No shoving, I'll get to each of you runts...
  • Genos: /////////////
  • Mini Genos Hachi: ...Danna? Why are you steaming like that? Do you require another maintenance check?
PVRIS lyrics sentence starters
  • "Take a good look at what I've become."
  • "There's a hole in my chest and I don't think it's leaving room for anyone."
  • "I'm trying my best."
  • "I'm doing everything to bring this body back to life."
  • "No matter how hard I try, I don't think I will make it through the night."
  • "I've been changing, falling, fading."
  • "There's demons at the door patiently waiting."
  • "Please watch over me, and be the light to carry me."
  • "I can feel it, being torn from my, my hands; my innocence."
  • "This change is all so permanent."
  • "Can't you see a change in me?"
  • "This world is a masterpiece."
  • "Shout out to the artist who took his heart and his soul and lost them both in the process."
  • "Please be the saint to save me."
  • "You were spoiled rotten and turned stale." "My tongue's acquired tolerance for tastes I couldn't stand.""You've been stuck in a rut and a wasteland."
  • "So just trust me, you'll be just fine."
  • "I need your trust just for tonight."
  • "Reach out your hands and tell me just what you feel."
  • "This is not just all in your head."
  • "Mind over matter makes these things feel so real."
  • "I can see the doubt in your eyes."
  • "You say there's no such thing as better things in life."
  • "I must confess this is all too new for me."
  • "Keep an open mind, it brings open hearts and open eyes."
  • "I'm hoping you weren't heaven sent, 'cause only hell knows where you've been."
  • "Your built composure's wearing thin."
  • "All your walls are caving in."
  • "I just wanna lift you up."
  • "I'll take all this love I found and I hope that it's enough."
  • "Don't you shut this down, no, don't you give this up."
  • "If we don't bend then this might break."
  • "Dream of me to keep you safe."
  • "Before you came around, I was lost and out of place."
  • "You're the only love I found and I'm hoping that you'll stay."
  • "Please stay."
  • "This isn't violence, this is just a war in my head."
  • "I give it time but it never seems to end."
  • "Don't you try to run right now, 'cause baby I could burn you down."
  • "The second that you walk into a room, I can't help myself from the things that you do."
  • "You're killing me right now."
  • "I think it's time you burn me down."
  • "I love the things we do when it's just me and you."
  • "You're just a ghost of blissful feelings."
  • "I'm losing you to the games in my mind."
  • "I know it's chemicals that make me cling to you."
  • "I need a miracle to get away from you."
  • "I think you're a saint and I think you're an angel."
  • "You give me something to think about that's not the shit in my head."
  • "You're a miracle."
  • "You're a glimpse of bliss, a little taste of heaven."
  • "You give me something to talk about."
  • "I need a miracle to bring me back to you."
  • "I know you're gone now, but I still wait for you."
  • "You walk around like you own the place."
  • "Guess it was all my fault."
  • "I think I let you in."
  • "Never thought that I would feel like this."
  • "Such a mess when I'm in your presence."
  • "It's my soul, it isn't yours anymore."
  • "Darling, you can't stay."
  • "Haven't you heard? I'm not yours anymore."
  • "I think it's time to get out."
  • "You've got it all, but you've got it all wrong."
  • "You're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You make it seem that you feel whole so they don't know you're a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "Think you're holy when you're not."
  • "I hate to break it to you baby, but you're simply lost."
  • "Simply calling out sins don't bring you closer to God."
  • "You're just a ghost at most, a set of empty bones."
  • "Searching for anything and everything to make you feel whole."
  • "You're all alone, you poor unfortunate soul."
  • "You just know I'm a poor unfortunate soul."
  • "There's no way that there's weight in the words that you preach."
  • "You contradict your speech."
  • "You're shallow and empty and filled with regret."
  • "Don't think I didn't notice."
  • "You've got it all."
  • "You've got it all wrong."
  • "It's hard to be what you need."
  • "All you ever do is turn me down."
  • "Can you hear me? I'm screaming for you."
  • "Day by day, I'm slowly replaced in your picture frames."
  • "Sick of the lack of signal, sick of the lack of touch."
  • "It's not enough, it's not enough."
  • "Don't blame your death on the shit in your head that you claimed ate you like a virus for days on end."
  • "I watched you decay, watched you waste away."
  • "Who'd you think you'd fool, baby, digging your own grave?"
  • "So go ahead, you just drop dead."
  • "You're trying to fool the whole world."
  • "You can't cheat death when you're digging your own grave."
  • "You're out of line."
  • "Your bridges are burning."
  • "You started a fire and you're burning up."
  • "What you give is what you get and in your case that's nothing but guilt and regret."
  • "I swear I couldn't wait to get you off my chest."
  • "It's hard to find life in something that's already died."
  • "I can't sleep, that's when you're torn away from me."
  • "It's hard to say 'good morning' when it's followed with 'goodbye'."
  • "Just wanted to say 'good night.'"
  • "I'm not ready to say 'good night.'"
  • "Yeah, I need to feel you again."
  • "Here comes the hardest part."
  • "In what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don’t even know how it happens."
  • "Well I hope you’re having sweet dreams, and you call me when you wake up."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy."
  • "I'll see you at midnight."
  • "You make my world spin."
  • "I'll wait to see you again."
  • "I know you're dead inside."
  • "I don't feel so lonely."
  • "Darling, don't be so shy, I'll see you at midnight."
  • "In the morning, I hope I see you by my side."
  • "I know you're dead inside, but you make me feel alive."
  • "I'm the one with the ghosts in my bed."
  • "I swear that I'll be fine in the daylight."
  • "It's my head not my heart that's strayed."
  • "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away."
  • "I don't wanna fight."
  • "Why can't you stay?"
  • "I'm up against these things I can't see."
  • "Make me believe."
  • "You struck a match and left me to burn."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the touch of your breath on my neck."
  • "I wanna feel something that's not the weight of your world in my head."
  • "I shouldn't give in, but I let you win."
  • "I won't let you in."
  • "I know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side."
  • "I can't be what you want."
  • "You and I can keep our love alive."
  • "It's cold when we're apart."
  • "I hate to feel this die."
  • "You can't give me what I want."
  • "I can't keep you in these arms so I keep you in my mind."
  • "Can we meet in the middle?"
  • "I've been wondering why you keep feeding me these lines."
  • "You made a fool of me."
  • "You charm me, it's not easy."
  • "You would not believe how the tides have turned."
  • "If I'm gonna play your games, I know there's a price to pay."
  • "I've got the tendency to constantly pay for my mistakes."
  • "I can't pick sides."
  • "You would not believe all the things I've seen."
  • "If I'm gonna lose this game, what's the use in trying to play?"
  • "I shouldn't expect any less but I can't always have my way."
  • "Your doubts of me are constant reminders of why I should stop hoping."
  • "Keep your eyes on me."
  • "I won't let them pull you under."
  • "You'll find what you're looking for."

anonymous asked:

It's so frustrating how my non-lesbians friends can't genuinely believe that I'm not attracted to men. Like, we went to watch the wonder woman movie and they couldn't stop talking about Chris Pine and making me inappropriate questions as to defy me to talk something that will prove them right like I have 0 attraction for that guy I really don't give a shit about him and they think I'm pretending idk why. I think in their minds it's impossible for a woman not to be attracted to a man. I'm tired.

Ugh that is so frustrating, I’m so sorry that they were making you feel that way. . I know what you mean, though, there is this disconnect where non-lesbians often don’t understand that we quite honestly don’t relate to their attraction to men at all. They can often treat attraction to men as a universal experience when that is obviously not the case. 

I’ll be honest, sometimes I respond to things like this directly. I’ve shut this down by shrugging and saying, “Men all look the same to me, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” And if they are asking inappropriate questions–as it seems here, their end goal is to say “Chris Pine is so hot even a lesbian agreed”–then I just double down. “Was that the sack of flour that showed up and tried to ruin the movie?” “Why are you guys so excited about him in this movie when it’s just another excuse to make a superhero movie starring a white boy named Chris?” “I just kept hoping he would die so we could get back to a story about a woman.”

When people are pulling this stuff, in other words, my response to the alienation is to double down on my lesbianism so that they understand that they are making ME uncomfortable.