SAM-JESUS

God can help you? Is that what God does? He helps? Tell me, why didn’t God help my innocent friend who died for no reason while the guilty roam free? Okay, fine. Forget the one-offs. How about the countless wars declared in his name? Okay, fine. Let’s skip the random, meaningless murder for a second, shall we? How about the racist,sexist, phobia soup we’ve all been drowning in because of him? And I’m not just talking about Jesus. I’m talking about all organized religion… exclusive groups created to manage control, a dealer getting people hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of bullshit to keep their… their dopamine of ignorance, addicts afraid to believe the truth… that there is no order, there’s no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mind worms meant to divide us so it’s easier to rule us by the charlatans that want to run us. All we are to them are paying fanboys of their poorly written sci-fi franchise. If I don’t listen to my imaginary friend, why the fuck should I listen to yours? People think their worship’s some key to happiness.That’s just how he owns you. Even I’m not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So fuck God. He’s not a good enough scapegoat for me. Tell me, why didn’t God help my innocent friend who died for no reason while the guilty roam free? Okay, fine. Forget the one-offs. How about the countless wars declared in his name? Okay, fine. Let’s skip the random, meaningless murder for a second, shall we? How about the racist, sexist, phobia soup we’ve all been drowning in because of him? And I’m not just talking about Jesus. I’m talking about all organized religion… Exclusive groups created to manage control, a dealer getting people hooked on the drug of hope, his followers nothing but addicts who want their hit of bullshit to keep their… Their dopamine of ignorance, addicts afraid to believe the truth… That there is no order, there’s no power, that all religions are just metastasizing mind worms meant to divide us so it’s easier to rule us by the charlatans that want to run us. All we are to them are paying fanboys of their poorly written sci-fi franchise. If I don’t listen to my imaginary friend, why the fuck should I listen to yours? People think their worship’s some key to happiness. That’s just how he owns you. Even I’m not crazy enough to believe that distortion of reality. So fuck God.
—  Elliot Alderson, Mr Robot

To all my fellow heathen runner fives, I have something fun for you to do if you’re ever in church for some reason. Mentally replace all mentions of god/jesus with Sam Yao. It works surprisingly well. 

“Sam Yao is watching over you”

“Sam Yao works in mysterious ways”

“Sam Yao saved us”

“I’m just out here doing the work of Sam Yao”

“just let Sam Yao guide you”

“everyone has a Sam Yao shaped hole in their heart”

“Sam Yao, we worship you with all our hearts”

“Sam Yao loves you”

“glory to Sam Yao”

“Sam Yao sacrificed himself on the cross for you” *he would*

“Sam Yao died and came back to life” SAM YAO IS A ZOMBIE OMSY (oh my sam yao)

Fuck, my heart. The average height of a female 14 years+ is typically around 5'6", which I am. My husband is 6'0". He stands head and part shoulders above me. These two motherfuckers right here (the REALLY tall ones) already stand head and shoulders above Misa.
Can you imagine being a 5'6" woman in this show, being saved by two ginormous puppy dogs that could literally squish you to death if they were so inclined? (See soulless!sam or demon!dean)
Can you imagine being hugged by these two (or three) at the same time?!?! They could smother us to death with their cuddles!!!!

anonymous asked:

The teachings of jesus are timeless. He wasn't just a story figure,he lived and taught . But how did he get all this wisdom? What's your opinion on this sam?

Jesus was an inspired teacher. What made him inspired was that he was unique for his age and circumstances. As a Jew living in a land occupied by a brutal oppressor he taught love. He taught kindness. He taught compassion.

How odd is this? Instead of teaching hate the oppressor it was “love your enemies”. Jesus taught for his people, his time and his place but in doing so he touched on universal wisdom.

Jesus knew that violent opposition to the Romans would end in tragedy and he predicted the destruction of the Temple. He somehow knew that his people would reject his teaching.