Ruffian

Taako: (as Little Jerry) When’d you go soft, huh? When we were growin’ up together, in the streets. Out there in the streets of Goldcliff, you were never soft.

Ruffian: We met like, two months ago.

Taako: (as Little Jerry) You saw a dead bird, you’d step on it. You’d say ‘I hate birds’. You were- you had no heart. Heartless Hank, we called you. Was it Hank? Remind me what your real name is, ‘cause I can only remember the great nicknames I’ve given you over the months.

Ruffian: You never called me Heartless Hank! What’re you saying?

Taako: (as Little Jerry) Sorry, I had a seizure.

Magnus: Uh, should we wait?

Merle: He left the door open.

Magnus: I mean, I know but should we help Taako? Is he gonna go in the bathroom with that strange man?

Taako: (over Stone of Farspeech, as Little Jerry) Well, I think this is gonna be fine. I’m not worried at all. I think it’s gonna be a fine poop, and I can totally handle this whole poop by myself, it’s not a big deal. I don’t want anybody to worry about me.

Ruffian: (also over Stone of Farspeech) Well Little Jerry, you can’t tell me not to worry about you, y'know, I love you too much.

Magnus: Well, sounds like he’s fine.

INDIE SONGS THAT EVERYONE LIKES

1. In the Sun by She & Him

2. Such Great Heights by The Postal Service

3.Eighth Avenue by Hospitality

4. Lets Go Surfing by The Drums

5. Submarine Symphonika by The Submarines

6. Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear

7. Fader by The Temper Trap

8. The Wire by HAIM

9. Soft Shock by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

10. Come Home by Chappo

11. After The Disco by Broken Bells

12. Overdose by Little Daylight

13. My Number by Foals

14. Holiday by Vampire Weekend

15.Silver Lining by Rilo Kiley

16. I’m Good, I’m Gone by Lykke Li

17. In / Out by Dan Croll

18. We’re From Barcelona by I’m From Barcelona

19. Soul Meets Body by Death Cab For Cutie

20. Elevate by St Lucia

21. Gobbledigook by Sigur R¢s

22. Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) by Arcade Fire

23. Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) by of Montreal

24. Wraith Pinned To The Mist And Other Games by of Montreal

25. Someday by The Strokes

26.Read My Mind by The Killers

27. Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

28.Better Times by Beach House

29. Kids by MGMT

30. Trojans by Atlas Genius

31. Mountain Sound by Of Monsters And Men

32. Take A Walk by Passion Pit

33. My Boys by Taken By Trees

34. Bruises by Chairlift

35. 11th Dimension by Julian Casablancas

36. My Moon My Man by Feist

37. Lisztomania by Phoenix

38. We Turn It Up by Oh Land

39. Daylight by Matt and Kim

40. Animal by Miike Snow

41. I’m A Lady (Feat. Trouble Andrew) by Santigold

42. Permanent Hesitation by Born Ruffians

43. The Ghost Inside by Broken Bells

44.Unbelievers by Vampire Weekend

45. Harlem by New Politics

46. 1234 by Feist

47. Young Folks by Peter Bjorn & John

48. You, Me and the Bourgeoisie by The Submarines

49. That’s Not My Name by The Ting Tings

50. Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis

51. Afternoon by Youth Lagoon

52. Go Outside by Cults

53. Actor Out Of Work by St. Vincent

54.French Navy by Camera Obscura

55. Tongue Tied by Grouplove

56. Crazy by Au Revoir Simone

57. Fidelity by Regina Spektor

58. Cameo Lover by Kimbra

59. Float by Pacific Air

60. Houdini by Foster The People

Taako: We need the heal slots, we’re definitely not gonna need a corpse.

Merle: So you’re saying we eat him.

Taako: What I’m saying is- no, what?! Absolutely not!

Magnus: Stop recommending that, Merle!


(THB have decided to throw Barbara’s corpse off the cliff)

Magnus: Alright, you grab a leg, and I’ll get this side-

Merle: And let’s get eatin’!

Everyone Else: NO!

listening to the adventure zone for the first time. I realized at ep. 21 that I wanted to compile some of my favourite qoutes (not just from characters). so here’s that (in no particular order. not even in order of appearance):

  • “abraca-fuck you”
  • “i’m really getting this cleric shit aren’t i”
  • “I’m not a nerd so I don’t know-” “we’re on a D&D PODCAST”
  • “let me tell you the story of the time an orc punched me so hard I almost died”
  • after griffin has been complimented for the quality of the campaign. “let’s wait and see how it ends, though, ‘cause lost seemed pretty good too”
  • “no i’m a flesh boy”
  • “YOU’RE MY FATHER. YOU BIRTHED ME.”
  • “i just don’t understand why me understanding the basic rules of dungeons and dragons is like an unfit way to spend our time”
  • every time taako mocked jenkins not using spell slots
  • “I have a beating heart! i’m- i’m multidimensional! i’m a fully realized creation. Fuck.”
  • let me promise you one thing- are we out of the zone of truth?” “yeah you’re long out of it” “everything’s going to be fine”
  • “my names not jerry its…. jereeeeee”
  • barabra telling taako (as jerry) he’ll walk him to the bathroom
  • “the second ruffian-” “give them names” “c-craig…ory?”
  • “magnus’ quest for vengeance just… ends” “and OURS BEGINS”
  • “there’s no vine you’ll never be able to not fuck”
  • “let’s try that again, and you say yes to my fucking bit”
  • “hot diggity shit, this is a baller cookie”
  • the entire section where they kept talking when mushrooms were giving off spores at the sound of their voices and kept having to roll constitution saving throws.
  • “that is your last thought as a two armed man”
  • everything starting with justin going “i’m going to cast a spell called eldrics black tentacles” and ending with “MY NAMES KRAVITZ”
  • ^side note: kravitz why did you actually give him your name when that was what he was asking
  • kravtiz “what the fuck is wrong with the three of you” when taako eats that crystal piece
  • unrelated to the above event  “oh no it’s a vore thing!”
  • “tell julia i said i love her”
  • “how’s elvis?” “…still alive”
  • “it sounds like you’ve given me an even better lesson- a new mystery to solve!” “oh fuck”
  • “blizzard can you get off my nuts for a second!”
  • “it’s seventh level……necromancy” *slightly distant, loud laughter*
  • “what was the last thing you said?” “i said i love you jules”
  • but it’s not… what julia would want. so i’m gonna have to pass”
  • the entire section where justin is being given the left or right choice and everyone is losing it bc he was literally told earlier in the arc
  • “this figure in the red robe… is you”
  • the entire section of taako convincing garfield to sell the sword to him for a useless item. (especially griffins “oh my god”s when he realizes what’s going on, and a quieter one a few seconds later)
  • “[….] he just looks like a smaller taako” “griffin- a taquito?”
  • “i’m gonna say the pocket workshop can only sustain 2 boys at once though, because i don’t want you to have an infinite bag of boys that you can just put boys inside”
  • “welcome… to the monster factory!” *laughter*
  • “flipping off is a free action”
  • griffin describing taako transforming, before saying “and turns into… a tyrannosaurus rex”
  • “i’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck”
  • “okay… you pee while holding two flame throwers”
  • “listen… light them the fuck up”
  • huh… i feel sad.  and he kills you”
  • “our capacity for love increases with every person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people. ”
  • “it delighted in your company, magnus, and it still does.”
  • “today is going to be one of those memories”
  • “if she were to look under the table, she would see that his legs are visibly trembling in absolute panic”
  • “you are home… here… in cycle 99″
  • “sometimes there aren’t right decisions sometimes there are just… decisions.”
  • “when someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal” (and on)
  • “this is it…. this is it”
  • .”Those are the arms that have held my wife”
  • “i have nothing, and i don’t give a shit. the world is ending, and i don’t care”
  • “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back”
  • “no i’m gonna leave all that in” “no griffin no”
  • “should i talk slower so everyone who’s been complaining about us not playing d&d has time to nut?”
  • “You’re dating the grim reaper?!” 
  • “i’ve got magic powers.” “was that supposed to be some big reveal?” (and on)
  • “it’s upsy… your lifting friend” *laughter*
  • “i’m a wizard, my name is taako, and i’m pretty- well- fucked”
  • “no dogs on the moon”
  • “i’ll take one taco, with extra destiny” *laughter* “yeah, fuck it, i’ll teach taako how to make a taco”
  • “thanks for not ripping my arms off, magnus”
  • “whats up ghost rider”
  • “it says thanks for reuniting it with it’s kids […] and it says, you’re even”
  • the entire section of  “and __ walks over to __” during ep 68
  • “but that stops here”
  • “hear that babe? we’re legends”
  • “and then… you see john smile”
  • “i’m allowed to ask the dm one question, and he has to answer honestly” “alright go” “did you have fun doing the adventure?” “yes” “okay!”
  • “you know the best part of the fantasy costco? free samples”
  • “much like the best science on earth, you’re double blind”
  • “i reach into my fucking bag and grab my immovable rod. i’m not going fucking anywhere”
  • “you hear a voice through this rift say, you’re going to be amazing
  • “and then… light”
  • “Johann was right! We won!”
  • “i know about the silverware”
  • “sorry, so you want to be earl merle?”
  • “not just because you saved the world, but, because i know how hard you’re trying”
  • “we see you one last time, as… magnus rushes in”
  • magnus’ entire speech to carey
  • “that was the world you made, that was the ending you earned”
  • “the story of four idiots who played d&d so hard they made themselves cry”