Taako: (as Little Jerry) When’d you go soft, huh? When we were growin’ up together, in the streets. Out there in the streets of Goldcliff, you were never soft.
Ruffian: We met like, two months ago.
Taako: (as Little Jerry) You saw a dead bird, you’d step on it. You’d say ‘I hate birds’. You were- you had no heart. Heartless Hank, we called you. Was it Hank? Remind me what your real name is, ‘cause I can only remember the great nicknames I’ve given you over the months.
Ruffian: You never called me Heartless Hank! What’re you saying?
Magnus: I mean, I know but should we help Taako? Is he gonna go in the bathroom with that strange man?
Taako: (over Stone of Farspeech, as Little Jerry) Well, I think this is gonna be fine. I’m not worried at all. I think it’s gonna be a fine poop, and I can totally handle this whole poop by myself, it’s not a big deal. I don’t want anybody to worry about me.
Ruffian: (also over Stone of Farspeech) Well Little Jerry, you can’t tell me not to worry about you, y'know, I love you too much.
listening to the adventure zone for the first time. I realized at ep. 21 that I wanted to compile some of my favourite qoutes (not just from characters). so here’s that (in no particular order. not even in order of appearance):
“i’m really getting this cleric shit aren’t i”
“I’m not a nerd so I don’t know-” “we’re on a D&D PODCAST”
“let me tell you the story of the time an orc punched me so hard I almost died”
after griffin has been complimented for the quality of the campaign. “let’s wait and see how it ends, though, ‘cause lost seemed pretty good too”
“no i’m a flesh boy”
“YOU’RE MY FATHER. YOU BIRTHED ME.”
“i just don’t understand why me understanding the basic rules of dungeons and dragons is like an unfit way to spend our time”
every time taako mocked jenkins not using spell slots
“I have a beating heart! i’m- i’m multidimensional! i’m a fully realized creation. Fuck.”
“let me promise you one thing- are we out of the zone of truth?” “yeah you’re long out of it” “everything’s going to be fine”
“my names not jerry its…. jereeeeee”
barabra telling taako (as jerry) he’ll walk him to the bathroom
“the second ruffian-” “give them names” “c-craig…ory?”
“magnus’ quest for vengeance just… ends” “and OURS BEGINS”
“there’s no vine you’ll never be able to not fuck”
“let’s try that again, and you say yes to my fucking bit”
“hot diggity shit, this is a baller cookie”
the entire section where they kept talking when mushrooms were giving off spores at the sound of their voices and kept having to roll constitution saving throws.
“that is your last thought as a two armed man”
everything starting with justin going “i’m going to cast a spell called eldrics black tentacles” and ending with “MY NAMES KRAVITZ”
^side note: kravitz why did you actually give him your name when that was what he was asking
kravtiz “what the fuck is wrong with the three of you” when taako eats that crystal piece
unrelated to the above event “oh no it’s a vore thing!”
“tell julia i said i love her”
“how’s elvis?” “…still alive”
“it sounds like you’ve given me an even better lesson- a new mystery to solve!” “oh fuck”