Room temperature

  • Reyes: Oxton. This is a secure channel. Only you can hear me, Strike Commander Morrison and Captain Amari don't know about this conversation. Listen carefully. Once Null Sector is neutralized I need you to do something very important for me in London, and you absolutely cannot reveal that I asked you to do it until the job is complete.
  • Tracer: what is it luv?
  • Reyes: I need you to take Jesse McCree to a pub and film his reaction when he finds out you Brits serve beer at room temperature.
Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

Some facts you might not know about Alan Turing

I have just finished reading Alan Turing’s biography (written by Andrew Hodges) and I wrote down some interesting/cute/amazing/nerdy facts about Alan:

• Alan taught himself to read, but was quicker to recognise figures, and he had an infuriating habit of stopping at every lamppost to identify its serial number
• on picnic with his family, he wanted to gather the wild bee’s honey and observed the bees’ flightpaths to locate the nest
• he hated games at school, and he later said that the necessity of avoiding the ball in hockey had taught him to run fast
• his father loved literature and was pleased when Alan told him he liked one line from Hamlet - only to learn that it was the last line: “Exeunt, bearing off the bodies…”
• his first friend at school was Christopher, who he first met in 1927, and he was struck by him and “wanted to look again at his face, as he felt so attracted”
• during what Alan said was the happiest week of his life, he, Chris, and a friend went to the cinema and on the way back Alan wanted to test how much Chris wanted his company, so he hung back and then Chris “beckoned to me (mostly with his eyes) to walk beside me”
• he made a star globe out of a lampshade and woke up at 4am to look at the night sky
• in Chris’ memory, his family founded a prize which Alan won
• at Christmas 1934 Alan asked for a teddy bear because he never had one as a little boy - he got one and it was called Porgy
• when Alan was at Princeton in the US he complained in a letter that he didn’t like “the way they speak”, “the impossibility of getting a bath” and “their ideas on room temperature”
• Alan liked to chant the couplet “Dip the apple in the brew, let the Sleeping Death seep through” from Disney’s Snow White over and over again
• he broke up with Joan by reciting the closing lines of Oscar Wilde’s “The Ballad of Reading Gaol”
• he didn’t like the sight of blood and even once fainted when he grazed himself shaving
• he was an avid long-distance runner
• he wrote a short story about a gay man named Alec, but only three pages survived
• Alan died on 7 June 1954, most likely by committing suicide; the cause of death was cyanide poisoning (next to his bed was half an apple which might have been dipped in cyanide)

Taako’s Elderflower Macarons

As it may be glaringly obvious now, we started listening to The Adventure Zone on the drive down to Dragon Con. This in turn has inspired us to start D&D ourselves…we may have made a grave mistake. D&D is like that nerdy precipice where - once you go over - there’s no going back. We’re all lost causes once you start rolling those dice and making perception checks.

Recipe is below the cut.

-MJ & K

Keep reading

4

so I saw this post (x) and I was like, wait a second, Barry’s lighting that gas on fire by moving his fingers? How fast is Barry moving?

If you look closely, there’s a label that says that the gas is propane, which has a molar mass of 44.10 g/mol, a specific heat of 1.67 J/g*K, and autoignites at 743 K. So, Barry has to be moving, at the minimum, fast enough to reach 743 K.

So, let’s say he’s igniting 1 mole of propane (there’s really no way to measure the mass by watching) and that the room temperature is a standard 298 K. With Q=mcΔt, we have:

Q = (44.10 g)(1.67 J/g*K)(743 K - 298 K)

Q = 32772.915 J or 32772.915 kg*m^2*s^-2

Then, we have the total thermal energy from Barry’s two fingers moving! So, to find the velocity, I used 1/2mv^2=Q. For the mass of a human finger, I used 100 g since that was the first result from google. I use 1/2mv^2 twice, one for each finger’s movement:

½(0.1 kg)v^2 + ½(0.1 kg)v^2 = 32772.915 kg*m^2*s^-2

(0.1 kg)v^2 = 32772.915 kg*m^2*s^-2

v^2 = 327729.15 m^2*s^-2

v= 572.4763313885 m/s

Then, I converted the velocity to miles per hour:

572.4763313885 m/s * 60 s/min * 60 min/hour * 0.000621371 mile/m = 1280.5926858403 miles per hour

Barry snapped his fingers at, at the least, 1280 miles per hour or Mach 1.68. To put that into perspective, he had to run straight for 5.3 miles in season 1 to reach Mach 1.1 so he could supersonic punch Tony Woodward.

That’s one fast snap.

Uses for Moon Water 🌙

Due to popular demand, I’ve decided to make a post on the uses of moon water! 

  1. Add a drop to lunar spell jars based on intent
  2. Add to a bath for cleansing and relaxation
  3. Rinse and cleanse your hair with it in the shower
  4. Purify and use in consumable potions for enhanced psychic abilities, relaxation, protection, or dreamwork
  5. Make a cleansing spray and use in your home
  6. Sprinkle a few drops around the perimeter of your home or bedroom
  7. Use to anoint and cleanse objects such as magickal tools or crystals
  8. Use to anoint yourself before spellwork or divination, or simply to promote peace and relaxation
  9. Use to charge objects with lunar energy
  10. Water your plants with it
  11. Add it to your water cup when painting to promote imaginative thinking 
  12. Add a few drops to the washer before washing bedsheets to promote dreaming
  13. Use as a representation of either water, the moon, or both on your altar
  14. Combine with corresponding crystals or herbs for an added boost of energy
  15. Fill a hollow pendant with it and wear it to represent the moon, a particular lunar phase, or one of its associated correspondences (protection, relaxation, enhanced psychic abilities, etc.)
  16. Anoint a charm with moon water and carry it with you for protection, safe travels, or improved memory 

Tips & a few words of caution:

  • Always purify and filter your moon water before consuming
  • If you plan to add crystals to your moon water, use tumbled stones so they won’t break down in the water (especially if you plan to drink it)
  • If you do plan to consume your moon water, store it in the fridge to extend it’s shelf life
  • Don’t water your plants with cold moon water; make sure it’s lukewarm or at room temperature first
  • If you’re unsure on what kind of intentions correspond to lunar energy, check out the links below 

These are just some ideas on how to use moon water, but feel free to get creative! 

The Signs and Love:

Aries: You love closely and warmly. Everything you love is forcibly wrapped in tin foil with the power of your will alone.

Taurus: You are a nervous lover. As in, you are a lover who has a nervous system, you know synapses and all that.

Gemini: You have a heart of gold and a face of gallium. Your face melts at room temperature into a glistening silvery puddle. 

Cancer: It can be difficult to make you smile, but when you do its gorgeous. Consider not sewing your lips shut every morning.

Leo: A bold and passionate lover. Just make sure that what you’re hitting on is in fact alive. 

Virgo: A dangerous lover. A lover on the edge. Someone who can only feel affection while on an adrenaline high, like when skydiving. 

Libra: When it comes to love you think too much. If they said they like you, they probably like you.

Scorpio: Tsundere.

Ophiuchus: A clever lover. While you may think you have a good solution for every problem, too many of them involve systems of pulleys. Its freaking your significant other out. 

Sagittarius: You are a true and loyal lover. Treachery is met with a swift death.

Capricorn: You love like steel toes. Thrilling, dramatic, and often a source of testicular pain.

Aquarius: An elegant lover, all fall before your mere voice. Thats when you tie their shoes together and steal their wallets. 

Pisces: A cute lover. Adorable really. Ignore the hunting knife.

Sensory Overload Tips

as someone who frequently gets sensory overloads, here’s some tips for helping a friend with sensory overload and some tips for coping with them yourself.

To Help:

1. Give the person space!
this might seem like the most obvious thing ever, but if someone’s having a meltdown they need space so they don’t accidentally hurt you while they’re having a hard time.

2. DO NOT hit, get physical with, smack, or tackle the person to the ground!!!
DO NOT DO THIS. a sensory overload and subsequent meltdown is NOT your chance to physically harm someone. slapping them or hitting them will not make them “snap out of it” and you’ll only make them have a worse time.

3. Try to get them to a place where the stimuli isn’t as bad
i know that oftentimes it’s hard to remove a person from a loud situation, especially if they’re at a dance or a club, but trying to get them somehwere quieter like a bathroom or a stairwell will help 100% more than just getting people to move away from them and leaving them in the area where they’re overloaded.

4. Quietly ask them if they need anything and try to get it if they do
PLEASE do not pester the person with questions, just ask them calmly if they need water or a stim toy or something.

5. Act like it’s not a big deal if other people ask what’s wrong
this one might not be the case for everyone, but i’m always so so thankful when my friends don’t make a scene when i’m overloaded. it’s embarrassing when people start to ask questions and if someone acts like it’s a big problem, that’s even worse.

6. Let the person stim in whatever way they want
even if the stims seem weird, their comfort is the most important thing in this moment. if they request stim toys or their personal items like their bag or phone, give it to them. they desperately need the stuff and now’s not the time to be preaching about how dependent we are on technology.

To deal with:

1. Try to recognize the signs as quickly as possible
is your heart racing? are you sweating for no apparent reason? feeling tightness in your chest or lightheadedness? it’s probably a good time to find a quiet spot or bust out a stim toy.

2. Don’t try to control your stimming/echolalia
trying to stop yourself from stimming really doesn’t help. i know you don’t want to cause a scene, but you need to get rid of the excess sensory input in order to calm down. if you really want to conceal your echolalia, hold your phone up to your face, everyone will assume you’re talking to someone.

3. Bring your stim toys/comforting objects with you!
i know my stim toys/comfort objects tend to be bigger, but just bringing a spinner, headphones, or a clicky pen or even hobby items like a knitting project can help. most other autistic people i know have stim bags that they keep on them, and that’s great for sensory overloads! bringing scented items helps me a whole lot, because smells tend to calm me down.

4. Grounding techniques
anything to remind you where you are/that you’re still real and in the present is helpful. rubbing your hands together (but not so much that they start to feel numb), touching something slightly warm/slightly cool, pressure stimming, or covering your ears can be very grounding.

5. Drink some water/eat some food afterwards
this one’s really important, you need to stay hydrated especially! i know it seems beaten into the ground, but some room temperature/cool water really helps me after because drinking is a grounding sensation to me. food might not be the best idea if you get queasy, but beverages are helpful.

6. Treat yourself after!
aside from getting yourself a pick-me-up in the form of food and a beverage, do something nice. eat that special food you love, do one of your favorite hobbies, play your favorite game an hour longer than usual. you deserve it.

9

NO-KNEAD CRUSTY ARTISAN BREAD

One of my most reader-tested and approved recipes! This crusty, fluffy artisan bread needs only 4 ingredients and 5 minutes to come together… you won’t believe how easy and delicious it is!

The beautiful, crusty and fluffy bread that results from just four ingredients will knock your socks off! All it takes is flour, salt, yeast and water, all mixed up in a bowl and set to rest for 8-24 hours.

Just make sure your flour is fresh and yeast isn’t expired. I’ve used both active dry yeast and highly active dry yeast with great results!

NO-KNEAD CRUSTY ARTISAN BREAD
YIELD: Makes 1 loaf
INGREDIENTS:
3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons kosher salt (not table salt)

½ teaspoon dry yeast (active dry or highly active dry work best)

1 ½ cups lukewarm water

Special cookware needed: Dutch oven or any large oven-safe dish/bowl and lid*

DIRECTIONS:
In a large bowl, stir together the flour, salt and yeast. Stir in water using a wooden spoon until the mixture forms a shaggy but cohesive dough. Do not over-work the dough. The less you “work” it, the more soft, fluffy air pockets will form.

Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap. Let dough sit at room temperature for 8-24 hours*. Dough will bubble up and rise.

After dough is ready, preheat oven to 450 degrees F. Place your Dutch oven, uncovered, into the preheated oven for 30 minutes.

While your Dutch oven preheats, turn dough onto a well-floured surface. With floured hands, form the dough into a ball. Cover dough loosely with plastic wrap and let rest.

After the 30 minutes are up, carefully remove Dutch oven. With floured hands, place the bread dough into it. (You can put a piece of parchment under the dough if your Dutch oven isn’t enamel coated.)

Replace cover and bake for 30 minutes covered. Carefully remove cover and bake for 7-15 minutes* more, uncovered.

Carefully remove bread to a cutting board and slice with a bread knife.

Enjoy!

NOTES

Uncovered baking time depends on your oven. In my oven, the bread only needs 7 minutes uncovered until crusty and golden brown, but this can vary. Just keep an eye on it!

Preheating your Dutch oven to 450 degrees F will not damage it, or the knob on top.

I’ve let this dough rise anywhere between 8-24 hours and it has baked up beautifully. Just make sure it has risen and appears to “bubble” to the surface.

There’s no need to grease the Dutch oven/baking dish/pot. My bread has never stuck to the pot. If you are concerned though, put a piece of parchment paper under your dough before placing into your pot.

I do not recommend using whole wheat flour or white whole wheat flour in this recipe. The resulting bread will be very dense, and not as fluffy and delicious.

I used a 5.5 quart enameled cast iron Le Creuset pot, but you can use any large oven-safe dish and cover. All of these also work: a baking dish covered with aluminum foil, crockpot insert, stainless steel pot with a lid, pizza stone with an oven-safe bowl to cover the bread, and old cast iron Dutch oven.

Add any mix-ins you like - herbs, spices, dried fruit, chopped nuts and cheese all work well. I recommend adding them into the initial flour-yeast mixture to avoid over-working the mix-ins into the dough. The less you “work” it, the more you’re encouraging soft, fluffy air pockets to form!