First Love CarlXReader
Jessie’s 1k Writing Challenge
This is my first one-shot ever and I am so excited to be posting it! Hopefully, you guys will enjoy it. This was written for @grimes-slut ‘s writing challenge. Congratulations on hitting 1k, doll, you deserve it!
Prompt: “Song of your choice” Chosen song: ‘Hey Jude’ by The Beatles
Plot: First loves can happen where ever and whenever. For Carl, his first love happened when he arrived at Alexandria and met a young girl. But not everyone can accept their feelings easily. As Rick watches his son struggle with his feelings and opening up to a stranger. He can’t help but hope that Carl won’t turn away.
World Count: 2345
‘Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better’
Alexandria was becoming their home. Though there were some doubts amongst the group, it was becoming clear that everyone was growing comfortable with the community. Well, everyone except for Carl. Rick had noticed his son’s edge. The way his sharp eyes watched everyone and everything. Rick knew that his boy was waiting for this haven to fall, just like the many before it.
But then Carl met her. (Y/N) was one of the citizens of Alexandria. She was a sweet girl, Rick would even go as far as saying that there was something innocent about her. She seemed unscathed by the harsh world around her. That was rare to come across and Rick believed that her good nature could have a positive effect on Carl. She could bring some optimism to Carl’s life. She could make him see that there was still some good in the world, you just have to look for it. All Carl had to do was let her in.
‘Hey Jude, Don’t be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better’
The only problem was it appeared that he wanted nothing to with (Y/N). Carl would go to extra lengths to avoid her. If Rick didn’t know any better, he would’ve believed his son hated the young girl. But with all the times he caught Carl sneaking obvious glances at (Y/N), he knew that wasn’t the case. His boy was simply keeping a distance to ensure that he could never get attached. Carl had lost a lot of people in his life. People that he cared deeply for. Opening himself up again would mean if something happened, when something happened, Carl would only get hurt again.
Rick wanted to intervene. He wanted to sit his son down and talk to him. Tell him that it was okay to open up to her, to go out and get her. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. It was Carl’s job to realize it on his own. So Rick sat back and continued watching. Hoping that his son would take action soon before he missed the chance.
Rick began to notice subtle changes in Carl as the days continued to go by. His son was beginning to acknowledge (Y/N) whenever the two crossed paths. Some days he would give her a faint and brief smile, other days a simple nod of his head in her direction. They were small actions, but actions nonetheless and Rick was so grateful that his son was showing some change. Rick believed that it wouldn’t be long until Carl let down his defense.
As days slowly turned to weeks, Carl had formed a friendship with the young girl. Though Rick had been hoping for it, it still came as a bit of a shock to him when he walked out the front door to see the two teens sitting on the porch steps together. He took a moment to properly introduce himself to the girl and had to fight back the smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth. Not wanting to make anything awkward for his son, Rick told Carl where he would be and walked off. Words couldn’t even describe how happy he was.
(Y/N) seemed to always be at their house in the days that followed, not that Rick minded. The father would often sit in the kitchen and eavesdrop on the conversations. It was wrong of him, yes. But hearing his son talk like a kid again put a smile on Rick’s face. The way Carl and (Y/N) talked was so natural like they had known each other for years. Rick really believed that things were looking up for his boy. Unfortunately, things couldn’t stay good forever.
‘And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder’
There were many differences between Carl and (Y/N), the biggest one being their outlooks on life. (Y/N) and her family had found Alexandria during its starting days so she never saw how dark the world had become. She had been sheltered, living in a community where everyone knew each other and were friendly. She didn’t understand how dangerous people had become outside the walls of her society. So when Carl told (Y/N) about the people he’s killed she didn’t take it well.
She asked Carl how he could have the ability to take someone’s life and when Carl explained to her that he had to she didn’t believe him. (Y/N) argued that there were other ways of defending yourself that didn’t revolve around killing an opponent. Something in Carl snapped after that statement. He told her that in their world it’s either kill or be killed. When (Y/N) tried to argue against it, Carl, in a fit of annoyance, called her naive and stupid and said that if she didn’t change her way of thinking then it won’t be long until she’s killed.
(Y/N) left without a word.
‘Hey Jude, don’t let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better’
Rick had been downstairs when this argument took place and noticed (Y/N) leaving the house. He smiled, ready to say goodbye to her but when he noticed the hurt that was evident on her face he stayed quiet. Once she walked out the door Rick waited a moment before going up to see his son. He knocked on the bedroom door and waited for a response. When none came Rick opened the door, wide enough for him to stick his head through, and saw Carl sitting by his window, staring out.
He asked his son why (Y/N) had left so early and why she looked so upset. Carl’s answer was brief and it became clear to Rick that the two had a falling out. He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him and approached his son. Carl’s gaze never left the window and Rick realized that he was staring off into the direction (Y/N) had walked off in.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened.”
Rick listened to his son talk. Took in everything he said. He could see where Carl was coming from. Everyone in Alexandria shared the same views as (Y/N) and Rick was still in the process of trying to change the way they saw things. He, himself, had taken direct approaches to point out the flaw in the thinking of the Alexandrian people but didn’t believe Carl should do the same, especially to (Y/N). He didn’t want to risk Carl messing up a relationship that was just beginning to bloom.
There was a moment of silence between the father and son. Rick took the moment to study his boy for what seemed like the first time in a while. Carl no longer had that sharpness in his eyes that he had grown used to seeing. Instead, it was replaced with raw emotions. Sadness. Fear. Vulnerability. He looked like a little boy again and Rick just wanted to reach out and hold him. But that’s not what Carl wanted. He wanted advice so he could make things right again. So Rick said all he could say.
He told Carl that he and (Y/N) lived two different lives throughout the outbreak. (Y/N) was sheltered and protected, she believed it wrong to kill people because she’d never been put into a situation where killing was the only option of surviving. She didn’t know what it meant to survive. He told Carl that since he has lived through the struggle of having to survive it was in some sense his job to protect her. She would eventually come to realize that Carl was right but until then he’d have to be patient with her.
‘So let it out and let it in, Hey Jude, begin
You’re waiting for someone to perform with
And don’t you know that it’s just you, hey Jude you’ll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder’
After his talk with his father, Carl knew that he had to apologize to (Y/N) but the girl had disappeared inside of her house and refused to see him. He couldn’t force her to talk to him so he decided it would be best to wait. If she wanted to talk to him she would. He just hoped that it would be soon.
A few days had gone by and Carl had yet to hear from (Y/N). He was beginning to believe that he had lost any chance he had with her. As he sat by his bedroom window thinking about their argument for what seemed like the hundredth time, something outside caught his attention. He came out of his thought and focused on the man that was rushing down the street. He wore tattered clothing and even from a distant Carl could see the grime that covered his face. Something in the man’s hand caught the sun’s reflection, and after staring at it for a moment Carl realized that it was a machete.
Carl had almost forgotten what surviving felt like. The adrenaline that kicks in right when things start happening. The thoughts that race through your head while your heart beats a mile a minute. The strange calmness that manages to wash over you because though the situation may be deadly, you know what you are doing. When Carl watched the man’s machete slice through his neighbor’s body, all of those things came rushing back to him. In a strange way, he was glad to be feeling these sensations again because it felt like him. But then reality kicked in when he remembered (Y/N) was out there defenseless.
He came rushing down the stairs as the screams of innocent people filled the air. As he reached the first landing he spotted Carol who earlier had been working in the kitchen. From the look on her face, it was clear that she too knew what was happening. Carl notified her that he had seen everything from upstairs and that the unknown attackers were coming from all over. He had taken another step down when Carol told him something he didn’t want to her.
“You have to stay here-”
He shook his head, dark hair swaying by his shoulders as his mind once again turned back to (Y/N). The idea of her being out there alone with no way of defending herself terrified him. Like his father had told him, he had to be there for her. To protect her when she needed protecting. And so as he descended the rest of the stairs he told Carol that he couldn’t stay in the house, there was someone who needed his help. Before the older women could protest, Carl was out the door.
He didn’t focus on what was going on around him, he drained out the screams and cries for help. He had a goal, and his goal was to get to (Y/N)’s house. She would be there, he was sure of it. And if she wasn’t then he wouldn’t stop searching until he found her. He just hoped that when he did she would be alright.
There had been times in his life where Carl had been absolutely terrified. But none of those moments could compare to the terror that he felt when he finally reached (Y/N)’s house. Lying face down on the front porch step’s was (Y/N)’s mom. Her clothes and hair soaked in her own blood and the front door of her house kicked open. Carl felt like the wind had been knocked out of him and he almost tripped over his own legs as he stared at the sight in front of him. His throat tightened with each long step he took towards the house and he had begun preparing himself for what awaited him inside.
Carl was prepared for a lot of things, but what he actually saw caught him by surprise. The moment he stepped into the house he saw a still tidy living room, the only thing unusual about the area was the large bloody boot prints that trailed into the kitchen. Carl raised his gun as he slowly inched towards the room. He came to a quiet stop by the doorway and listened to see if anyone was still in there. No noise came from the room and Carl took a step forward.
Unlike the living room, the kitchen was upturned. Cooking ingredients and dishes scattered around the counter. On the floor, behind the island, was a puddle of dark red liquid. Carl’s throat tightened up again and his eyes grew watery. He took hesitant steps towards the blood once again trying to prepare himself for what he was going to see.
The body was completely mutilated, multiple stab wounds on the chest, neck, and face. No one would ever be able to recognize who this person was before they were attacked. And sitting next to the body with her legs pulled up to her chest, her forehead resting on her knees, and her hands covered in blood was (Y/N).
Carl let out a gasp, startling the girl, as he dropped down to his knees sliding in front of her. She was shaking, her eyes red and wide. The moment she looked at him (Y/N) began crying and curled around herself again. Seeing the most vibrant and full of life girl cry was heartbreaking and Carl didn’t know what to do to comfort her.
“You have to be there for her when she needs you.”
His father’s word echoed in his head. Without thought, Carl reached out and embraced (Y/N) in a tight hug. She shifted in his hold before wrapping her own arms around him, her hands hanging on to his shirt desperately, like if she let go he would disappear. They stayed like that until her crying subsided to mere hiccups, and even after they continued to hold one another.
‘Hey Jude, don’t make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you’ll begin to make it better’
“I didn’t want to do it,” (Y/N) finally spoke up. Carl’s eyes shifted to the large body that still laid next to them. He felt (Y/N)’s body once again begin to shake in his hold as the memories replayed in her mind. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you,” Carl said quietly as his arms tightened around her. “But I promise you, from now on I will always be by your side.”
A/N is it lame that I also used the lyrics in the one shot? Oh well, when I was writing it I had broken the story up using each stanza so I figured it would be good to keep them in the final work. It works in my eyes but who knows. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it ~
I want to broaden my socialising skills and make friend. Hmu if you
wanna exchange some dank memes, rant or just have a casual conversation
(I believe I’m somewhat diverse and intellectual so I can probably
uphold a conversation about most chosen subjects). I’m a Virgo, Blood
type A, 5'4 and Polsh; idk if that told you anything at all. I’m a
sucker for music (any genre), a good book or poem, studying and
stationary, artsy fartsy stuff and thrifting. Favorite youtubers include
(Enjajaja, IAMKARENO, JKN, and more). My favorite tv shows are TWD,
GOT, Rick and Morty and more. My most used tumblr hashtags are
aesthetic, alternative, soft, milky, vintage and retro. Vine is still my
fav. I love kpop (any army’s hmu). I live for bad puns. I’m in love
with the moon and universe. My vibe is all about spreading love any
race, religion, gender, sexuality or species we’re all equal <3.
Don’t be shy to talk to me cause chances are I’m more scared to reply
than u are to initiate the chat. I probably forgot something but let’s
be real that’s my lifes philosophy.
Preferences: Idc about your gender but preferably you’re within a fair range of my age :)
• Him loving to spoon with you and pull you closer to he can kiss your neck and bury his head into the curve of your head
• Him enjoying to have you cuddle up to him, lay your head on his chest while he can wrap an arm around you and pull you closer
• Him sometimes laying down on you, placing his head on your chest while feeling how you stroke through his hair as he slowly closes his eyes and begins to fully relax
• Him loving to wake up next to you and watch you slowly waking up in his arms just for him to chuckle whenever you bury your head into the curve of his neck while murmuring that you don’t want to get up yet
• Him loving to lay next to you with one arm wrapped around you while he can let his hand travel over your body and feel all of you
• Him loving to wrap his arms around you from behind, doesn’t matter if it’s when you’re just standing in the bedroom or you’re showering together, and place kisses on your shoulder and neck before turning you around and pulling you into a deep kiss
• Him loving the feeling of you nuzzling your head into the curve of his neck just for him to always feel the urge to pull you even closer and passionately kiss you
• Him loving to place a whole lot of kisses all over your body while he’s holding you tight only to often turn things hotter
• Him loving to half asleep feel how you huddle up to him, feel how you place a few kisses on his skin before laying your head on his chest
• Him loving the way he can make you feel protected and loved, especially when he can see how you can peacefully fall asleep in his arms
• Him loving to just lay on couch or in bed with you as you’re talking about your day or laughing about something while holding you in his arms just to then when you begin to just enjoy each other’s presences whisper into your ear that he loves you
A/n: Thinking of doing a part 2 where reader finds a way to make it up to Carl idk. Hope you all like it:) Also, I wrote it in like 3rd person pov idk why but yea
“This is so nice,” she smiled, grabbing Carl’s hand and interlocking their fingers. He began to rub his thumb over her hand slowly, which only made the moment better. She and Carl had been sitting on his roof, watching the stars and enjoying the time together. It was rare that they got to actually hang out with each other since there were so many responsibilities that needed taking care of around Alexandria, so when they did, she cherished every second of it.
“We should do this more often,” Carl suggested, looking over at her.
“Yea we should,” she giggled, still smiling. They looked at each other for a moment before the girl turned her attention to her legs, which were dangling off the roof of the house. She began to swing them slightly, enjoying the feeling of the wind. Neither of them spoke after that, and all that could be heard were the chirps of the cicadas and the whistling of the trees. They sat like this for a while, just enjoying this nice time together when suddenly, a thump could be heard from inside the house, which meant someone was awake.
“I guess that’s my cue to go,” she said.
“Yea I think my dad’s awake,” Carl said, not wanting her to leave.
And with that, they both got up from the roof and headed towards Carl’s bedroom window. He swiftly climbed into his room then turned around to help her in. He reached his hand to her, which she gladly took. She sat on the window ledge and Carl grabbed her hips to help lift her down. Once both of them were inside he went behind her to shut the window, only for it to make a loud squeaking sound. She laughed at the pain on Carl’s face from the noise, but ceased when Rick, Carl’s dad, came knocking on the door. They both looked at each other in panic, not sure what to do.
“Get in the closet!,” Carl whisper-yelled before grabbing her shoulders and lightly pushing her towards his closet door.
“Carl are you talking to someone?,” Ricks voice echoed from the other side of the door.
“No, dad,” Carl exclaimed while waiting for the girl to enter the closet so he could close it up. You shoved his clothes to the side and backed up to the wall so he could shut her in. Before doing so, Carl nodded to make sure she was good, and Y/n nodded back, and then she was in the dark. His closet was pitch black and you couldn’t see a thing but she heard Carl opening his door and speaking to his dad.
“You sure you weren’t talking to someone? Swear I heard your voice,” Rick insisted.
“Yea, you did. I was talking to myself,” Carl explained, and she could practically hear the cringe that probably appeared on his face.
“You were?,” Rick asked, unsure of his son.
“Yea. I was just thinking about some stuff, you know,” he said awkwardly. There was a long silence before Rick spoke again, she guessed it was because Rick was so confused as to why Carl was being so weird.
“Okay, I’m gonna go back to bed. You should too, it’s late,” Rick said as his retreating footsteps could be heard, followed by Carl shutting the door. A minute passed before he approached the closet door and opened it, finally relieving her of the darkness.
“You are so cringe-worthy,” she laughed walking past him, out of the small closet.
“Shut up!,” he exclaimed, then immediately covered his mouth at how loud he was, which made both of them laugh.
“Oh man,” she sighed, her stomach hurting from laughing, “I better get home.”
“Yeah,” he smiled, although a hint of disappointment leaked from his voice.
He walked her to the door and opened it for her and she lingered in the doorway for a moment, not wanting to leave yet either. They looked at each other, both wanting to stay together but she knew they couldn’t.
“Goodnight, Carl,” she lulled as she backed out of the doorway and turned around to head home.
“Goodnight, Y/n,” she heard him whisper from behind.
The next morning he woke up with a smile on his face, the memory of the night before still fresh in his mind as he looked out the window. He laughed to himself before stretching and getting out of bed to get ready for the day. All he could think about was her. Her smile, her laugh, the way her skin felt against his. All he wanted was to see her again, to have more time to tell her how he felt and see if she felt the same way about him.
Once he got dressed in his usual flannel and jeans, he headed downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast, which was already on the counter along with a note from his dad. It read, ‘Had to leave early. Made you some breakfast’, and the word dad was signed at the bottom. He sighed at the note and inspected the plate of food his father had left for him. On the plate was a piece of toast and some eggs. He wasn’t the best chef so the toast was a little burnt and the eggs were a tad gooey, but it would do.
While eating, he went over what he planned to say to her in his mind to distract himself from the taste. He wanted to make it good, wanted to say it in a way that she would remember and look back on, it had to be good.
When he was done eating, he sat his plate in the kitchen sink and made his way out of the house, in search of Y/n. He couldn’t wait to tell her so he could get the weight off his chest and finally have told her how he felt. The only thing that could ruin it would be if she didn’t feel the same way, which didn’t really cross his mind for too long when he remembered their time together last night. She clearly felt something for him, right? She had to or she wouldn’t have touched his hand or told him how good of a time she was having.
He walked down the street, not really sure of where she could be right now, so he asked Rosita, who happened to be walking by. “Hey Rosita,” he called to her.
“Hey, Carl. What’s up?,” she greeted.
“Um, have you seen Y/n?,” he asked, trying not to sound as nervous as he felt.
“Oh yeah. Pretty sure she went down by the gazebo. Should still be there,” Rosita said with a smile.
“Thanks,” he breathed as he began to walk away, determined to get to the gazebo as fast as possible, leaving Rosita with a small smirk on her face behind him.
As he walked, he grew more and more nervous about telling her. It was like all the doubts he didn’t even know he had were emerging from the back of his mind. Things like, what if she didn’t like him? What if she was just faking it? What if she thought they were better as friends? He tried to push the thoughts aside when he neared the gazebo, only to instantly regret it. They were right. He realized all those doubts were true when he saw her, kissing Ron.
As soon as he saw he was furious. How she could she do that to him, especially after last night? After everything they’d been through together this is how she treats him? He should have known better than to think he actually had a chance with her. Maybe they were better off as just friends but now he didn’t even know if he still even wanted to be her friend. She was the only girl he’s ever loved, the only person he’s ever felt this deeply for and she just threw it in his face. Like she was taunting him.
He didn’t know what to do, how to handle this so he raced home, just wanting to be alone to think things through. He stormed up to his room without a care that he knocked a few things over when he slammed his door. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and began pacing back and forth. What the hell is she doing? Did she think it was okay to just toss me to the side? How long have she and Ron been together behind his back? Was she ever going to tell him? Suddenly, his thoughts were disrupted when she opened the door.
“Hey Carl. There’s a group going out scavenging. You wanna come with?,” she asked.
“Did Ron not want to go with you?,” his voice laced with sarcasm. The confusion of his tone could be seen on her face. What was wrong with him today?, she thought.
“Actually, I wanted you to come with me,” she explained, getting the feeling Carl was mad at her for some stupid reason.
“Oh. Well, I’m good. I gotta stay here, watch Judith,” he said flatly.
“We could do something else? I could help you with Judith,” she offered, just wanting to spend a little time with him.
“Don’t you think you should be helping Ron?,” he said, gesturing out the window towards Ron loading up the truck across the street.
“Carl, what is your problem?,” she demanded.
“Oh don’t play dumb, Y/n. I saw you and Ron,“ he said, raising his voice at her.
“That wasn’t- It was an accident, Carl,” she said solemnly, just hoping that he would believe her.
“Howndo you kiss someone on accident?,” he raised his voice ever more slightly, the frustration and anger evident in his tone.
“He kissed me! We were just talking and he… and afterwards I told him that I didn’t like him that way. You have to believe me,” she practically begged, but Carl wasn’t having it.
“How am I supposed to trust you after this? I mean, how do I know that’s really what happened?,” he questioned, more to himself than to her.
“You don’t. But I’m asking you to trust me. Trust me because I love you, Carl,” she explained, trying her hardest not to start crying. It was true, she did love him and she hated that he saw what Ron did. But most of all, she regretted not pulling away, stopping the kiss before it even started.
“I think…I think I just need to be alone right now, Y/n,” he stared before turning around and walking away, leaving her alone in the middle of his room.
“Shit,” she sighed under her breath as she raised her hand to her forehead in frustration. How the hell was she going to fix this?
You were in trouble. You were trapped. Glenn didn’t know you, but he helped you. He put himself in danger for you. And that started it all. From Atlanta, to my daddy’s farm, to the prison, to here. To this moment now. Not as strangers, as family. Because Glenn chose to be there for you that day a long time ago, that was the decision that changed everything. It started with both of you, and it just grew. To all of us. To sacrifice for each other. To suffer, to stand, to grieve, to give, to love, to live. To fight for each other.