I'm a Guardian Demon

Yeah, you read that right. We’re by no means requested as much as those feathery dick-muffins, but we take our job just as seriously. ‘Course, we’ve gotta go about it a bit differently. No sense in doing the same damn thing - we’re summoned for a reason.

Guardian angels work pretty much exactly how you think. They look out for you, having you trip on the sidewalk to avoid getting hit by a car and whatnot. They love tangling with the threads of fate, plucking a string here and tying a loose end there. And while they’re great at predicting things short-term, they suck donkey balls long-term.

So for every time someone’s told you “you must have a guardian angel looking out for you!” after narrowly dodging that falling AC unit, that same snobby urinal cake won’t do jack shit about that crushing heartbreak. “They need to learn,” they’ll say. “Now they’ll appreciate the next one more,” they’ll say. Fuckers have a circle jerk on their high horses while you suffer. Moral code my ass.

But that’s where we come in. Demons ain’t got the same definition of “helping.” We torture people for eternity, and we’re damn good at it. We’re clever. We’re patient. And we love revenge stories as much as you people all hate us for it all.

Guy who cheated behind your back? Boom, chlamydia. Snot-nosed nephew hit you in the nuts? Introduce his ice cream to the ground, mother fucker. But our favorites - what we’re known for - is the waiting game.

That teacher who always graded you most harshly? Guess who’s the only casualty of the most recent school shooting. The bully who stole your lunch money every week? Now he smokes two packs a day and can barely make ends meet. The pastor who fondled you and said God wouldn’t want you to tell? I feed him lava every Tuesday downstairs. What goes around comes around, and we’re the ones coming around.

So the next time you get it into your tiny mortal skull that demons are the bad guys, remember we’re the ones dishing out the karma. We’re the ones putting the smile on your face when your ex’s new boy toy runs out on her after knocking her up. We’re the ones getting your boss fired for using company funds on hookers and blow. Oh look at who got promoted! Such surprise, much wow.

You’re fucking welcome.

Why The Fuck Haven’t You Watched Black Sails Yet?!
an updated version of this psa

  • *stands in the middle of the deck, stomps foot twice* First item.
  • everyone is gay
  • *plays bear mccreary’s score at the club*
  • smol, John Silver
  • Flint smiling
  • ‘poly power pirate hour’
  • the dads: Mr. Scott, Mr. Gates, and Blackbeard
  • “I’ve got a long fucking memory”
  • Anne Bonny is a knife
  • My Truest Love, Know No Shame - T.H.
  • “I will teach you how to fight and not die.”
  • accurate portrayal of pirates
  • silverflint’s greatest hits, i’m dying scoob
  • Flint is the toughest most feared pirate, but he’s soft af
  • Max and Silver aka my scheming™ children
  • Woodes Rogers’ death glare
  • Silver and Flint touching each other for safety reasons
  • seduce me with bible quotes
  • “Fuck you, Jack.”
  • dignified portrayal of sex workers
  • fucking Joji doing his mothafuckin’ job
  • she fucked the priest
  • the cinnamon topography
  • the Scotts’ slavery rebellion !!!!!
  • Max, ultimate hottest mixed lesbian island boss
  • Silver and Flint keeping each other’s secrets is worm
  • Billy Bones is basically invincible
  • the fucking Guthries
  • John Rackham supporting and loving Anne Bonny!!
  • how the fuck does Miranda Barlow do it all?!
  • Eleanor is bi af, liking dangerous men is her one flaw
  • tough men wearing bows in their hair, even meaty Charles
  • Billy’s arms, v important, jot that down
  • Anne figuring out her sexuality!!!!
  • “You want to see something shiny?”
  • john silver x madi’s love 
  • the greatest gay revenge love story in the history of television
  • the hottest and nicest cast ever, seriously
  • reminder that they ended the show on their own terms, it wasn’t cancelled, more tv shows need to learn a thing or two from this
  • i will never shut up about it

you needed to watch this show like yesterday

And… now I’m rummaging through my story drawing folders and thinking about all the story ideas I came up but never put down to words. This is one of the good ones. This is concept art for a Sesskag AU spin story based on an old Chinese fairy tale and movie.

The tale here isn’t exactly fairy. It’s a revenge story. The main character is the son of a governor, whose family is massacred by a gang of assassins because they happened to hold a treasure. The son escaped death on mere luck and tried to seek revenge on the assassins who killed his family.

The son seeked out a famed doctor and had his face transfigured into a new one so that he could pursue his enemy in secret. he looked far and hard and after many years arrived at the Southern citadel. There, he met a woman, fell in love with her and married her.

Ironically, he woman he loved was actually one of the assassins. After many years of bloodshed and killing, the assassin regretted her crimes and wanted to live a normal life. She too found the same doctor and got her new face from him.

These two lived with each other as husband and wife for many years until the truth came out.

This was actually a pretty mediocre story in the ghost story staples of China, but funnily, in 2010 , John Woo decided to make it into a movie (named Reign of Assassins, starring Michelle Yeoh). I went to see it and got a big surprise. The movie changed many aspects of the original story, giving soul and depth to the characters and really made me think about it. It also incorporated many other Chinese folktales ( The killing bride, death powder, one of the many myths of the Bhodi who visitted China, etc…)

The best part of it, imo, was the incorporation of a Buddhist love story into the plot. The story is about Buddha’s disciple who fell in love with a beautiful woman. Buddha asked him:

“How much do you love her?”

And the disciple answered:

“I would turn into a stone bridge… and endure five hundred years of wind, five hundred years of sun, and five hundred years of rain. I would only ask that she walk over that bridge.”

This story within a story became the emotional focal point of the movie and changed the ending. Instead of the tragic ending, the couple managed to overcome their grudge and their bloody past.

A revenge story became a love story. An old tale made new.

I decided that I liked it so much that I wanted to draw something inspired by it.

The above scene is a depiction of their marriage: Sesshomaru wearing Inuyasha mask and Kagome wearing Kikyo mask. All the things that they built together were lies, but somehow their feeling for each other remained the only truthful thing. That’s why Sess is reaching out for Kagome, almost like he’s about to take off her mask, but also like he’s afraid… what’s behind it? The future? Nothing?

The red sash between them is an old Asian symbol of marriage and love.

I never wrote it into a story. I never had the time. I was super busy back then, having only just become a journalist and spent much of my time on the road hunting for news. This is… bringing back a lot of memories… 


Mind your own business.

I guess this isn’t revenge, but I’ve had enough of people policing what I wear.

I live in Wisconsin and it gets hella cold here. Like last winter it was -50 with windchill so I try and stay as warm as possible. In the town we are in the public transit is pretty much free and so I take the bus everywhere, and they have a very strange mix of people that I see and meet all the time so I’m used to people being nosey and saying stuff.

One night I’m returning home after an 11 hour day of work and the gym and I had recently bought an oversized scarf that was in the women’s section because men’s scarves just don’t cover enough. I am wrapped in its warmth when a woman on the bus asked me if I was wearing a woman’s scarf. I told her I was and she replied with, “you’re a man, you shouldn’t be wearing women’s things.”

I didn’t miss a damn beat, I replied with: “ma'am (very polite) since you’re so concerned with what I am doing, Let me be concerned with what you’re doing. 1. Stop tanning. 2. Invest in a good wig. 3. Try buying your make up anywhere else but dollar store.”

And at that moment my bus reached my stop and I told her goodnight while her mouth was agape and went on home. That’ll teach her to mind her own business.

Petty Revenge: Internet`s best petty revenge stories are here. | submit


Anger and relief - Red John - ep 6x08

Such an amazing scene! You can see the wide range of emotions Jane feels in that crucial moment, just looking at his face, just looking into his eyes…from the anger of facing the man who destroyed his entire life to the relief coming from doing what he thought he had to…a relief that didn’t bring him peace though. His eyes still got that aura of despair…the same feel that led him to point that gun under his chin, even if just for an instant.

Revenge alone couldn’t help him, it couldn’t heal the deep wounds incised in his heart and soul…only love could! Killing the man who killed his family didn’t make things better, but the pure, selfless love of his soulmate did! Was the thought of Lisbon, of her eyes, her voice, her smile to prevent him to pull the trigger. In that way, Jane’s story is not just a story of revenge but a story of love and redemption. 

Wishlist for future Fantastic Beasts movies

-Theseus Scamander and Newt having a supportive sibling relationship despite their differences
-Fawkes origin story
-Newt being the one to give Aragog to Hagrid
-Newt being the one to release the giant squid into the Hogwarts lake
-Newt and Tina having children–the movies span 19 years, so unless Tina is going to be a very old mother, there is almost no way we are not getting this. It’s even possible their child would be somewhere in the 11-15 age range and therefore a viable character during latter films. 
-Newt getting to throw his weight around more after becoming a renowned expert
-Grindelwald coming after Newt for revenge
-Overt gay love story between Dumbledore and Grindelwald. Just make it overt. 
-Leta Lestrange being a suitably complex character. I’m getting some Snape vibes from her already.
-Newt/Tina/Leta love triangle. Not because love triangles haven’t been done to death… but because the idea of an awkward turtle like Newt at the center of one is hilarious to me.
-Newt being a total dragon master

Let’s talk about the amazing components of Taylor’s music that aren’t lyrical:
- the riff in Long Live
- the opening melody in Superstar
- the heartbeat in Wildest Dreams
- the vocal range in Everything Has Changed
- the harmonies in This Love
- the expressive techniques in Better Than Revenge
- the dynamical drop in Love Story when the bridge comes in
- the slow build in Change
- the way Shake It Off makes you wanna MOVE
- the dramatic vocals in Blank Space
- the haunting use of echo in Clean
- the cassette click at the beginning and end of I Know Places
- the contrast of fresh acoustic guitar and echoed synthesiser in How You Get The Girl
- the way the eery cuts and shouts in Out Of the Woods creates imagery of flashbacks and memories
- the way that Taylor managed to capture the buzzing feeling off New York City into a song??? I found it hard to describe the feeling of that city for so long and she managed to produce it through music. hOW
- the fast pace of the lyrics in Holy Ground that just make you wanna go for a jog around the block!!!
- the feeling of bittersweet you experience when listening to Lucky One.
- the plucking of my HEART STRINGS IN NEVER GROW UP



Hi Taylor! it’s me Lura (princessofkittytownx) and Breanna (80swift) we are writing this to you because we love you more than anything in the entire world. our life goal/dream is for you to notice us and for us to meet you. Taylor you have helped me (Lura) through so much. i (lura) have always gone to your songs whenever i feel sad or frustrated. i go to you and your music not only for those tough times but for happiness too. every single emotion can relate to your music. you are complete sunshine. you make me smile everyday, and you, taylor are the reason i keep going with our head held high. taylor you give me confidence all the time, for example, when i pass my x- friends in the hallway at school. you help me through my daily struggles and remind me of what i am and what i am not. thank you so much. i have loved you since i was just a little girl and the day i heard your music i fell in love with you. when i was in early elementary school, i would invite my neighbors over and dance in my basement to your albums, like speak now. i remember clearly the days where i would dress up in my Halloween princess costume and dance like im in a ballroom to love story, then later i would take off my princess costume and wear some cool looking outfit and do very intense hair flips to better than revenge.😂 love story is one of the first songs i heard from you and it has been my favorite song since, i watched that music video all the time when i was little (haha, still do) but i mean, literally every song you’ve ever released is my favorite song, they all relate to me. in 3rd grade, my friend and i both had a crush on a fifth grader. so when the talent show came around, we both sang speak now to express our feelings to the guy. it was actually really funny. im saying this stuff to explain to you how much you have made an impact on my life. I not only danced to your songs when I was a little girl, I still do now too. the day red came out i was in fifth grade, i remember getting picked up by my mom after school and rushing to target to buy your new masterpiece. the night i bought red i made up all these little dances to every song alone in my room.😂 the red era was the first time i got to see you live in concert. i made my own tshirt and wrote a 13 on my hand. that night was definitely a dream. and here i am now, 13 years old, 1989 released last October and of course i made up dances to every single song. i purchased tickets to your show in St. Paul this September and ever since then i have been stirring up ideas for my costume and how everything is going to go once i get there. you inspire me to do great things Taylor. i can not thank you enough for everything you have done for me. my hope one day is to meet you and tell you in person how much i love you. until then, you can assure i will be fangirling over every little thing you do. i hope to see myself one day with you in a picture frame sitting on my bedside table, most likely our picture together plastered everywhere in my room. i cannot wait to see you this september taylor! —taylor you have helped me ( Breanna ) get through the toughest times such as breakups and always going to your songs and listening to them 800 times and then finally getting over that boy. Such as the song “ the way I loved you ” that was one of your many songs that has always related to me the most and I just want to thank you for always being there for me. I have listened to your music since I was a little girl and as I grew up YOU inspired me every single step of the way. Everyday I always am thinking about you and how much you have helped me and I go back to when I heard my very first song from you and i was in my office and my sister showed me about you and the very first song was love story and I was watching the music video and as a little girl I was so mind blown at this beautiful women who I had just fell in love with and her music and I go back to today and I think to myself wow look at my mom she is now 25 years old and is a crazy cat lady. Its crazy how much we can change but yet we still are the same person. I guess I just wanted to say that you have been there for me with your music and I love you taylor and I will never be more dedicated to a person more than you. You are the best mom I could ever ask for taylor. Thank you for all you do. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine. Im so happy to be able of dedicate every minute of my childhood with you taylor. I love you so so so much and I cant wait for the tour with you.– on another note, We both go to the same school and we are the biggest swifties there, and everyone knows how much we love you!! anyway, we are both going to see you in St. Paul, Minnesota for the 1989 world tour! we’re not going the same date though. WE ARE SO EXCITED TO SHAKE IT OFF WITH YOU WE LITERALLY CRY DAILY ABOUT IT!!!!! ITS GOING TO BE ABSOLUTELY MAGICAL SEEING YOU IN CONCERT FOR THE SECOND TIME. WE SPEND DAYS AND DAYS TALKING ABOUT OUR COSTUMES TOGETHER AND HOW EXCITED WE ARE. oh and we got onto the subject of you having children and that went a little too far.. We love talking about every single thing you do. Oh and today we were talking about a plan to get into your beach house and I ( Breanna ) would have George carry me over the guards and drop me in the pool. And lura would hide behind the swans until george comes back to get her. 😂 We also love staying up and watching the award shows and when you win we explode our snapchat stories with you and i ( breanna )even had people unfriend me because it was like 500 seconds. We always talk about how sexy and flawless you look in your dresses. We flip out. I (Lura) have 65 days left, and Breanna has 64! Lura’s seats are C12 row 2 seats 3&4 and Breanna’s seats are Sec 111 row 11 seat 4&5! Breanna is going on the 12th of September and I am going the 13th of September! we both have never been noticed by you, like ever. and like i said it would make us both die if you noticed us. #RIPUS. we know you follow a lot of people and you might not ever even see this, but if you do please hit us up taylorswift ! we have much more to say but just to keep it short-ish; we love you to the moon and back💘 (and even more, duh.)
say hi to meredith and olivia for us?
-Breanna and Lura Swift💗 (oh btw yeah we pretend like our last names are swift)
our tumblrs: princessofkittytownx & 80swift

Okay, I get violence on television shows.

Hell, I watch GOT, Boardwalk Empire, The Sopranos, and Oz when it was still on cable.  I understand anti-heroes and people who aren’t necessarily likable being main characters.

But in order for their to be tension there has to be consequences.  When Beecher on Oz is brutally raped his recourse is to feel victimized and hate the man that did it to him for the rest of his life.  This literally drives much of the story and the vindictiveness, revenge, and even a major love story in Oz.  

So to think that Olivia has no response to the man who put her in the hospital, who threatened to kill her, and how literally just put his hands around her neck and shoved her into a wall while threatening to kill her other friends is just…no.  Forget about the Fitz and Jake wars for a second and think about what Jake actually did on his own.  How does Olivia not feel some type of way about that?  How does Abby, who is someone who survived domestic abuse, tolerate that?  How does Huck, a man who tortured someone he loved for accidentally turning against Olivia, not put that dude in a pine box? Cyrus should want him dead for killing James and leaving Ella without her caring parent.

But we will never get that. What we will get is a bunch of bullshit about how B6-13 is saving America and Jake is a great guy because he wants to save the Presidents life.  And then we are going to get Olivia justifying that mess.