Relationship Issues

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FROM THE VAULT: Carrie Rudzinski - “The Bed”

“Her name is a newborn the family keeps passing around. She won’t stop growing.”   

Carrie Rudzinski, performing at YouTube Space LA. Subscribe to Button on YouTube!

My Drug

We all have our drugs.

Whether it be heroine, pills, cocaine, morphine, nicotine,they all do the same thing.

They numb the pain.

But my drug?

It’s you.

I know you won’t understand why i’m so clingy, and you’ll never realize how much I love you, but you do know that I love you.

It’s so much more than love though.

Like someone who takes drugs to numb the pain, just seeing your face numbs mine.

You’ll never understand why i’m always asking to hang out or see you, or call you on the phone, and you’ll never understand why I sit in the corner of my room everyday, staring at the screen of my phone waiting for you to reply.

But I know the reason.

You see, there’s a lot of things I don’t tell you. Things that happen in my life so horrible that I shove them down into the deepest part of my mind and don’t tell anyone about them. 

That’s why I need you.

That’s why I bother you with always asking to hang out and trying to see you, and that’s why I sit there for hours on end in the dark corner of my room where my sorrow looms over me as I’m waiting for you to reply. I don’t mean to bother you, or annoy you. 

I just need to see you.

What’s that you ask? Why?

Well, i’ll tell you why.

We all have our drugs. Whether it be heroine, pills, cocaine, morphine, nicotine, they all do the same thing.

They numb the pain.

But My drug?

It’s you.