Dorky White Parents👨🏻 #hootyhoo

Fights With Mom
  • Host:*googles endorphins*
  • Host:...
  • Host:*googles petting dogs*
  • Host:...
  • Host:*googles "does petting dogs release endorphins"*
  • Mom:*forcefully opens the bedroom door* What the fuck are you doing?
  • Host:I'm browsing the internet, mom.
  • Mom:Are you searching for jobs?
  • Host:*glances at computer monitor* ...Yeah.
  • Mom:Really, because you've been just sitting in your room for the past week. You haven't cleaned up. You haven't spoken to me. You've done absolutely nothing, and I'm starting to wonder why I'm letting you stay here if you're not pulling your own weight.
  • Host:I told you I'm looking for jobs. Like, they never call me back. There's no industry in this city. It's not easy.
  • Mom:Do you think it's easy paying for this house, and taking care of my TWENTY-ONE year old daughter who wastes her life doing nothing like she's a toddler? When I was your age, I was living on my own, I had a full time job, I was looking at buying my own house, not leeching off my mother.
  • Host:Things were different when you were my age. Finding a place to live on my own isn't easy. Finding a job isn't easy. I've been trying to since I graduated and it's not like you help me at all!
  • Mom:Oh my god! I've helped you by graciously letting you live here, buying you groceries, and tolerating your presence! I am so supportive to you! You need to learn to help yourself!
  • Host:Maybe I would help myself if you didn't make me feel like shit all the time!
  • Mom:You feel like shit all the time because you act like a piece of shit!
  • Host:What do you even want? Just to fucking put me down!?
  • Mom:I want you to take out the damn trash!
  • Host:Fine, then that's all you had to say!
  • Mom:*slams the bedroom door shut*
  • Host:...Bitch.
  • Host:*sets garbage in front of the house*
  • Host:*looks up at the night sky and sighs* ...Hel.
  • Host:*turns around and sees a naked trembling clone of herself peaking around the corner of the house* No, no, no, no! Fuck no!
  • Host:*rubs eyes and the clone disappears* Fuck, I'm just seeing shit.
  • Flesh Mass:*peaks back around the corner and watches host walk inside* ...This isn't real.
  • Flesh Mass:*remembers being murdered by co-host again, and again, and again* This isn't actually happening...
  • Flesh Mass:Am I even real? *feels face* I'm totally real. The one in the house is fake. I'm real. I'm the real me. I'll get rid of her.
  • Flesh Mass:*sneaks into the house*
  • Flesh Mass:*grabs a knife from the kitchen*
  • Flesh Mass:*quietly creeps up the steps and into host's bedroom*
  • Flesh Mass:*carefully sneaks behind host while she's on the computer*
  • Flesh Mass:*internally* She's not me, right? If she was really me, she'd have noticed me by now. I'm not so oblivious. If I stab her, she'll just disappear I bet. This is all just some hallucination. Stab her. Just do it. Do it. Do it.
  • Host:*quickly turns around* Who's there!? No one. Jesus, why the fuck am I so paranoid tonight?
  • Flesh Mass:*hidden beneath the bed*
  • Flesh Mass:*internally* I can't do it. Not while she's awake.