Reformatting

carlos loves to listen to really loud music, especially when he’s working, and one day cecil freaks out cause he thinks carlos is somehow controlling the weather

“CARLOS NO THAT’S ILLEGAL YOU’VE KILLED US ALL!” “cecil no im playing this from spotify, look, see?” “whats…. spot tif fie? is this some sort of science thing you made?“ "you… ok you know what never mind i’ll show you later”

cecil ends up liking being able to just play music, but he’s really bad at using the app, so he has one song per playlist. just one song, and he keeps switching between 200 playlists

carlos eventually helps him out and he gets everything organized into a normal ish playlist

one day carlos decides to play cecil’s playlist – it’s just different frequencies of fish screaming underwater

cecil calls it “new age heavy metal”

hey guys! talking from personal experience, this time of year can be super scary for anybody looking to move into the job world. whether you’re graduating soon and need to look for full time work, looking for summer internships or placements, or just looking to get a part time job to make some money over the summer, a solid cv is crucial. so i’m gonna share some of my tips below, i work in advertising, i’ve worked most of my career in sales, and even though i’m still fresh to the working world i hope i can give you guys some employment tips! 

basic bits

  • ok, so you need to put your contact details at the top of the page, name, phone number, email address, post code and sometimes nationality are all important to get out of the way first 
  • if you have your degree grade, or expected grade, put education at the top. list your grade and the dates you studied at uni, and the grades, dates and subjects that you studied to a high level when you left school. this is less important for part time jobs so i would probably put it below the next section in those circumstances
  • past experience is next. list everywhere you’ve ever worked, whether it was a proper paid job, helping out at local events, tutoring, anything that can give insight into your skills and your character. put a couple bullet points for each job, explaining the tasks you did and what you learnt from them. the most important thing is to emphasise what skills you have and how you’ve proven them in the past. 
  • i put other experience next, generally just volunteering, if you held a responsibility role in your school you can put that here too
  • skills & interests should be another section, talking about your non work related skills (but still relating these back to working). so for me, i talk about my creative hobbies like writing and music, which are important when applying for creative industries like advertising. i also talk about teaching myself arabic and adobe creative suite because languages are useful, design skills are useful, and most crucially taking initiative and embracing opportunities to learn are essential in any job that wants to see you grow

sales tips 

  • other people applying for the same jobs as you will not be handing in a 100% truthful cv. you don’t have to lie, and you shouldn’t ever ever lie on your cv because it’s not worth getting caught out. however, you’d be smart to jazz it up a bit. 
  • every task you’ve undertaken in your life has taught you something, no matter how small. think about every job related thing you’ve ever done and think of a way to make it sound special. 
  • for instance, i manually alphabetically organised a directors business cards during an internship. it was beyond boring. yet, now i talk about being a crucial support for the team, how i took initiative in collating their contacts into a brand new filing system to increase productivity speed. any dumb task can be chatted up. 
  • sales is all about confidence, confidence, confidence. you have to believe you are a great candidate, it’ll come across in your writing 
  • keep it to one page, max 2 if you’ve had a lot of previous roles. nobody wants to read that much. if it’s looking a bit long try reformatting to keep it all looking neat and succinct. 
  • send it as a pdf, not as a word document. keeps it looking professional. 

cover letters

  • now, cover letters can be a real pain. i would suggest writing different ones for each application, even though making a generic one and editing it is easier. it’s worth it to show that you give a shit. 
  • actually, all that really matters is giving a shit. talk about how great you are, and about how much you have to offer that they need in their company. you can phrase it in a non arrogant fashion, but at the end of the day a job application isn’t the place for humility. 
  • talk about the company, talk about why you like it and why you want to be there. if you’re applying to a small company definitely chat about how great you think the business is, because chances are the people who run the company will actually see it. people who have their own company LOVE to hear people talk about loving their company and their idea. 

all that really matters

  • be genuine, be passionate, be enthusiastic about the role, about the company and about yourself.
  • stay calm and focused on your goals, and believe in yourself and your abilities. don’t be afraid of being great, and don’t be afraid of letting people know it. 

i really hope these could be of use to anybody, if there’s any tips you guys need for job huting let me know, i’ve done a lot of it!

Artificial intelligence claims it has written a cake recipe.

I’m training a neural network to generate recipes based on a database of about 30,000 example recipes. One of the recipe titles it invents most often is cake - Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Chips, etc. But when I look at the ingredients list and directions… I have my suspicions that following this recipe may not actually result in cake. For example:

BAKED OTHER LIE 1993 CAKE

appetizers, fish

8 rounds; chicken
¼ lb butter (soaked)
1 can tomato sauce (½ lb)
1  salmon steaks sauteed
½ teaspoon red pepper, chunked
1 tablespoon margarine or oil

Meanwhile, transfer the chicken breast to a serving platter and simmer for about 5 minutes, then lemon juice that has been stirring well; if on the side, as becomes warmed, carefully frost them with a sauce. Spread them and garnish with water or parsley.

Recipe By     :
From: Johnn Sbrodet(A.R.U_A Ix but enough guidre chunks as lo.
1. D, fided, reformatted by Sharin Brants From:
Chocolate Cookio Liew more/Amplesd Middle
Sylvia Steiger, C7B, 1953

Yield: 96 pieces

Cutting Wit

archiveofourown.org
is this a forest? 'cuz there sure is a lot of pine - Chapter 5 - reptilianraven - Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

By the time they meet up later to play video games, Jeremy is officially Down In The Dumps to the point that he’s talking about a bullshit drug Rich told him about while he was taking a piss. It’s so obviously a scam, but there’s a flicker of hope in Jeremy’s eyes. A tiny glint of what if.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Michael pauses the game, setting aside his controller and turning to Jeremy. “Let’s say the fakest sounding drug in the world is real and works and you become the coolest person in the world. No, the universe,” he scoots over to Jeremy and throws a hand out at the great unknown of Jeremy’s poster clad walls.

“Shut up, man,” Jeremy shoves his head playfully.

“If it works, will you be too cool for—” Michael gestures at the room, trying his best not to point at himself. “—video games?”

Jeremy’s smile softens, understanding all the same. He says, “No way. Never.”

Beginning of the end, really. In Michael’s defense, he had no idea. He was just doing whatever it takes to make his friend happy.

chapter 5 of the pining fic is here. i like to call this one “adventures in grabe naman ang sakit”

Rogue One Drinking Game

Thanks to @simishipsrebelcaptain for getting the gears going, and @skitzofreak and @moonprincess92nz for getting the conversation started in the first place!

Take a shot/drink whenever:

  • Jyn has a flashback
  • “Stardust” is mentioned
  • Krennic and Tarkin basically have a pissing contest to show who’s in charge
  • K2 sasses
  • Bodhi says “I’m the pilot”
  • Baze complains about Chirrut’s ways (but goes along with it anyway)
  • Chirrut says “I am one with the force”
  • Someone says “Rebellions are built on hope”
  • The squad’s callsign is said aloud
  • Each major Rogue One Squad death (Hard Mode: every rogue one squad death on-screen, e.g. Melshi, Sefla, etc. // Expert Mode: every major character + secondary Rogue One Squad on-screen)

Take an additional shot/drink:

  • Darth Vader force chokes someone

Finish your drink:

  • “Rogue One, May the Force be With You”

Final shot:

  • “Hope”

As if the movie didn’t fuck us up enough as-is