Reformatting

Writing advice you're not going to like.

People sometimes send me Asks wanting writing advice.  I suck at it.  I don’t really know how I do the writing, or how one should do the writing, or what one should do to get better at the writing.  All I can ever think to say is “write a lot of stuff and you will get better at the writing.”  Which is true, but hardly a bolt from the sky.

Well, as it turns out, I do have one piece of Legit Writing Advice, and I am going to share it with you, right now.  If you were in any of my writing workshop groups at a con, you’ve heard this advice already.

Warning: you’re going to fucking hate it.  But if you do it, you will thank me.

If you have a piece of fiction you’re serious about, something you might want to actually shop around, or just something you really are into and want to make it as good as you can…do NOT edit it.

Repeat.  DO NOT EDIT.

REWRITE.

As in, print out the whole fucking thing and re-enter it, every word (or use two screens).  Retype the whole thing.  Recreate it from the ground up using your first draft as a template.  Start with a blank page and re-enter every. single. word.

I hear you screaming.  OH MY GOD THAT’S INSANE.

Yes.  Yes, it is.

It is also the most powerful thing you will ever do for a piece of fiction that you are serious about.

Now, let’s get real.  I don’t do this for most things.  I don’t do it for my fanfiction.  But if it’s something original, something I might like to get to a professional level - I do it.  You absolutely COULD do it for fanfiction.  It’s just up to you and how much time you want to sink into a piece.

You can edit, sure.  But you WILL NOT get down to the level of change that needs to happen in a second draft.  You will let things slide.  Your eyes will miss things.  You will say “eh, good enough.”

The first time I did this, on someone else’s advice, I was dubious.  Within two pages, I was saying WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN DOING THIS ALL THE TIME.  I was amazed at how much change was happening.  By the time I got to the end, I had an entirely different novel than the one I’d started with.  When you’re already re-entering every single word, it’s easy to make deep changes.  You’ll reformat sentences, you’ll switch phrases around, you’ll massage your word choice.  You’ll discover whole paragraphs that don’t need to be there at all because they became redundant.  You’ll find dialogue exchanges that need reimagining.  Whole plot points will suddenly be different, whole story arcs will reveal their flaws and get re-drawn.

You cannot get down to the fundamental level of change that’s required just by editing an existing document.  You have to rebuild it if you really want your story to evolve.  You will be AMAZED at the difference it will make.

It will take time.  It will seem like a huge, Herculean task.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It isn’t.  But it is absolutely revolutionary.

Try it.  I promise, you will see what I mean.

*PSA: Tipsy!Lori wrote this post.  In case you couldn’t tell.

carlos loves to listen to really loud music, especially when he’s working, and one day cecil freaks out cause he thinks carlos is somehow controlling the weather

“CARLOS NO THAT’S ILLEGAL YOU’VE KILLED US ALL!” “cecil no im playing this from spotify, look, see?” “whats…. spot tif fie? is this some sort of science thing you made?“ "you… ok you know what never mind i’ll show you later”

cecil ends up liking being able to just play music, but he’s really bad at using the app, so he has one song per playlist. just one song, and he keeps switching between 200 playlists

carlos eventually helps him out and he gets everything organized into a normal ish playlist

one day carlos decides to play cecil’s playlist – it’s just different frequencies of fish screaming underwater

cecil calls it “new age heavy metal”

Artificial intelligence claims it has written a cake recipe.

I’m training a neural network to generate recipes based on a database of about 30,000 example recipes. One of the recipe titles it invents most often is cake - Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Chips, etc. But when I look at the ingredients list and directions… I have my suspicions that following this recipe may not actually result in cake. For example:

BAKED OTHER LIE 1993 CAKE

appetizers, fish

8 rounds; chicken
¼ lb butter (soaked)
1 can tomato sauce (½ lb)
1  salmon steaks sauteed
½ teaspoon red pepper, chunked
1 tablespoon margarine or oil

Meanwhile, transfer the chicken breast to a serving platter and simmer for about 5 minutes, then lemon juice that has been stirring well; if on the side, as becomes warmed, carefully frost them with a sauce. Spread them and garnish with water or parsley.

Recipe By     :
From: Johnn Sbrodet(A.R.U_A Ix but enough guidre chunks as lo.
1. D, fided, reformatted by Sharin Brants From:
Chocolate Cookio Liew more/Amplesd Middle
Sylvia Steiger, C7B, 1953

Yield: 96 pieces

hey guys! talking from personal experience, this time of year can be super scary for anybody looking to move into the job world. whether you’re graduating soon and need to look for full time work, looking for summer internships or placements, or just looking to get a part time job to make some money over the summer, a solid cv is crucial. so i’m gonna share some of my tips below, i work in advertising, i’ve worked most of my career in sales, and even though i’m still fresh to the working world i hope i can give you guys some employment tips! 

basic bits

  • ok, so you need to put your contact details at the top of the page, name, phone number, email address, post code and sometimes nationality are all important to get out of the way first 
  • if you have your degree grade, or expected grade, put education at the top. list your grade and the dates you studied at uni, and the grades, dates and subjects that you studied to a high level when you left school. this is less important for part time jobs so i would probably put it below the next section in those circumstances
  • past experience is next. list everywhere you’ve ever worked, whether it was a proper paid job, helping out at local events, tutoring, anything that can give insight into your skills and your character. put a couple bullet points for each job, explaining the tasks you did and what you learnt from them. the most important thing is to emphasise what skills you have and how you’ve proven them in the past. 
  • i put other experience next, generally just volunteering, if you held a responsibility role in your school you can put that here too
  • skills & interests should be another section, talking about your non work related skills (but still relating these back to working). so for me, i talk about my creative hobbies like writing and music, which are important when applying for creative industries like advertising. i also talk about teaching myself arabic and adobe creative suite because languages are useful, design skills are useful, and most crucially taking initiative and embracing opportunities to learn are essential in any job that wants to see you grow

sales tips 

  • other people applying for the same jobs as you will not be handing in a 100% truthful cv. you don’t have to lie, and you shouldn’t ever ever lie on your cv because it’s not worth getting caught out. however, you’d be smart to jazz it up a bit. 
  • every task you’ve undertaken in your life has taught you something, no matter how small. think about every job related thing you’ve ever done and think of a way to make it sound special. 
  • for instance, i manually alphabetically organised a directors business cards during an internship. it was beyond boring. yet, now i talk about being a crucial support for the team, how i took initiative in collating their contacts into a brand new filing system to increase productivity speed. any dumb task can be chatted up. 
  • sales is all about confidence, confidence, confidence. you have to believe you are a great candidate, it’ll come across in your writing 
  • keep it to one page, max 2 if you’ve had a lot of previous roles. nobody wants to read that much. if it’s looking a bit long try reformatting to keep it all looking neat and succinct. 
  • send it as a pdf, not as a word document. keeps it looking professional. 

cover letters

  • now, cover letters can be a real pain. i would suggest writing different ones for each application, even though making a generic one and editing it is easier. it’s worth it to show that you give a shit. 
  • actually, all that really matters is giving a shit. talk about how great you are, and about how much you have to offer that they need in their company. you can phrase it in a non arrogant fashion, but at the end of the day a job application isn’t the place for humility. 
  • talk about the company, talk about why you like it and why you want to be there. if you’re applying to a small company definitely chat about how great you think the business is, because chances are the people who run the company will actually see it. people who have their own company LOVE to hear people talk about loving their company and their idea. 

all that really matters

  • be genuine, be passionate, be enthusiastic about the role, about the company and about yourself.
  • stay calm and focused on your goals, and believe in yourself and your abilities. don’t be afraid of being great, and don’t be afraid of letting people know it. 

i really hope these could be of use to anybody, if there’s any tips you guys need for job huting let me know, i’ve done a lot of it!

Cutting Wit

archiveofourown.org
Cat Scratch - Spectascopes - Undertale (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

A bittybones fic for @stuffedart inspired by some pictures (x x) they did a few months back! It’s an underfell Papyrus bitty and his tiny baby brother getting rescued off the streets, cause I’m a sucker for that kind of thing :^)

(big thanks to @grumbledork for giving this a thorough looksie and helping me polish it up!)

On who the Real Showrunner is

We’ve always known that the psychopath monster Mary Morstan makes us vomit with disgust over her pure unadulterated evil, but the level of her supposed cleverness in being the actual title holder of Moriarty the criminal organization (or as Sherlock called it in the released S1 scripts, “Crime Ltd.”) really does make her a virus. The virus.


Mary Morstan Infected the Real Story Tellers

She has utterly corrupted the Story Tellers - Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss - that they are no longer recognizable as the writers who gave us S1 to TAB.

Did she reprogram Mofftiss? Drugged them with a powder from a folded paper? Tampered with their IV and threatened them while drugged and injured to “Never tell John” aka never tell us the true story that’s 130 years overdue?

Shot them for making a funny face?

She announced her fake birth in a far-right UK broadsheet as if she were either British or Queen-and-Country-ish. Of which she is neither.

She tried - and is successful so far - in usurping the title Story Teller from Steven and Mark that she tried to tell the story of her fake baby herself, making sure to throw shade at Sherlock in those very few words, and pass it off as a joke. Just to drive home the false point that Sherlock cares not about the “baby” nor John.


Mary Morstan Infected the Characters

She hired a cartoonish has-been (or never-was) actor who gave the most offensive portrayal of gayness and mental illness (the existence of which is offensive itself when perpetually paired with gayness), turning him into the stereotype of the creepy stalking sexual predator with the irritating antics of an attention-seeking 8-year old boy.

Mary hired an annoying caricature to make nauseating gifs and nightmarish soundbites that she could upload to every screen in England and Azkaban.

Then Mary killed him shortly after he says, “Nah, you talk big.” Thus rendering him forever a failure in “burning the heart out” of Sherlock. Was the irony lost on her or is she really that homophobic such that it was deliberate?

One could say Jiminy Creeper gave his life for his art. Or did he? If Mary can access MI-5 from a phone in seconds, then she could make up an entire public backstory about “Richard Brook” the allegedly multi-awarded actor. But is actually an over-the-top nobody.


Mary Morstan Infected the True Story

Mary Morstan’s presence all throughout S4 was intrusive (or as better writers have put it “it felt chaperoned”) because Mary was telling us S4 with the arrogance of a self-inserting malevolent author. Mary gets the last word in S4 (and far too many words besides) because she is its Story Teller.

Mary Morstan is also S4’s alt-right propagandist, conjuring a dystopian tale where Greg, John, Sherlock, and Mycroft are redundant, abusive, gullible, and spineless - respectively. Where POCs are rare, and stupid when they show up. Where little old ladies are road hazards. Where teams of government officials dedicate an entire room and resources for surveillance and nepotism. Where cross-dressing uncles lock up their 6-year old gifted nieces in prison.

An alt-right world Mary force feeds us through John’s and Sherlock’s drugged state where she recycles her homophobic script for the long-dead Jiminy Creeper and speaks them in a woman’s voice, another caricature of gayness and mental illness.

A bizarre world in which Molly is a sickeningly pathetic 40-year old woman with the emotional maturity of a 16-year old while her self-important nagging is ignored, her medical degree ultimately useless, and her public humiliation and torture make her come back for more.

An un-buy-able world in which Mary Morstan is a self-effacing, saccharine letter writing, saintly mommy with a cheating husband, but is “cute” and “better” than her army doctor husband as a crime-solving match for Sherlock.

A surreal world in which a smart, educated, insightful, articulate fan base of Sherlock is systematically engineered to paint them as sex-crazed gay fetishizers who, in their genius, could be nothing else than unnatural.

Mary Morstan’s wresting the story away from Moffat’s and Gatiss’ hands - and rewriting Mycroft as someone who would date a colleague old enough to be his mother (possibly because his own mother thinks him “very limited”) - is a heist that the literary, cinematic, artistic, and philosophical world has to either solve or else live with.


Mary Morstan Infected the Strong Woman Narrative

March is Women’s Month, today March 8 is Women’s Day. Mary Morstan’s idea of an empowered woman is one who murders her friends, betrays her colleagues to their deaths, abandons her infant daughter (fake as it is) to escape the consequences of her crimes, uses her husband as a human shield from the murderous colleague she betrayed, and runs away while his best friend lifts a table to shield her husband instead.


Mary Morstan has overtaken both the fictional and real universe even before S4 aired in her quest to quell the truth of the 130-year old tale. She infects every hopeful heart, hacks every clue to the truth, reformats perceptions, and distorts memories of all that is good and right and noble and beautiful and true.

And she laughs with glee in every available platform online and off each time a troll destroys hope for resolution.

Mary Morstan is a rogue character escaped from a fictional universe wreaking havoc in her wake. It’s about time we went after the actual villain and not the discredited heroes. Waiting 2 years for an acquittal with only the Andersons among us speculating and repenting is such a grave miscarriage of justice.

It’s time to take down Mary Morstan the Moriarty figurehead. Kill that virus.

Unleash the secret.