Hogwarts Houses as Stage Managers
Gryffindor: “You need that moved, I can move that.” Always down for drinks after the show. Fully believe in “the show must go on.” Memorizes the songs and calls from memory. Drinks a red eye or red bull. Loves rehearsals and tech but running the show is boring. Follows the spirit of the Equity handbook. Instagrams of group photos. Reports bootleggers to house management and the producer. Happy to work anywhere.
Hufflepuff: Loves every part of the process. Will comfort crying actors. Puts the actors needs first. Actually gives opening night gifts. Not always a great team leader but a great team member. Doesn’t drink coffee but can make it. Loves running the show. Calls Equity to clarify everything. Instagrams of props. Kindly asks people not to bootleg. Prefers to work regionally or theatre for a young audience.
Ravenclaw: Knows every line in the play. Prettiest paperwork you’ve ever seen. Calls from the score. Drinks all the coffee. Takes mentoring interns and PAs to heart. Loves the dramaturgical aspect of rehearsals. Loves rehearsals for new plays. Follows the letter of the law of the Equity rule book. Instagrams of their book. Reports bootlegs to the producer every time they see one. Works where new plays are being produced.
Slytherin: Tries to keep a neutral face because of actors. Puts the show’s needs first. Great team leader, not always a good team player. Drinks coffee but wishes it were whiskey. Loves the whole process as long as they’re in charge. Has the Equity rule book but hasn’t looked at it in a while. Instagrams of coffee and paperwork. Reports bootlegs to the producer and also goes on rants about why they’re wrong. Will work anywhere that will help further their career.