Reasons-Why-I'm-Single

Things I’ve had done or said to me while single:

- “You’ll find someone some day”- yes this is very reassuring

- “You just need to put yourself out there”- okay, but like how do you do that? Like do you want me to walk into every event and go “Hello, it is I, the very single one”?

- “Your standards are too high” or “You’re too picky”- yeah okay that may be but at least I’m not settling for someone, and basically making them a second place prize.

- “You’re just too busy”- okay, but my life is always going to be busy…I’m not going to slow down just because I want to date someone, I got stuff to do.

- “Be more approachable”- I get the RBF is a little intimidating but if they can’t handle it then they aren’t worth it. 

- “You should meet my friend_______ or this person would be great for you, give him a shot”- okay, just because I’m single doesn’t mean I want to be set up with all of the single guys you know.

- “You’re too intimidating”- dude, I’m 5′4″, and can hardly open a pickle jar…

- “It’ll happen when you least expect it” or “It’ll happen when you’re not looking”- okay but like two minutes ago you were telling me to put myself out there, so that’s kind of giving me mixed messages here.

- “Why are you still single, you’re awesome”- well if I knew the answer I wouldn’t still be single now would I…

- Every family gathering at some point my love life is brought into question, and people try to find other people to set me up with

Reasons why I'm still single: #8
  • my friend: geez gurl, you really need to stop with that shipping shit, c'mon, get your fat ass up of your bed and lets go somewhere to see cute guys and stuff...
  • me: CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEMME FINISH MY GAY FANFIC?
  • my friend: i'm done with you
Reasons why I'm still single: #9
  • *conversation with my friend after a date gone wrong*
  • my friend: So what did you do to him that he doesn't want to see you again?
  • me: Idk... Why I'm the one that had to have done something? I just shared him the stuff i like...
  • my friend: honey...
  • me: MAYBE I went too far with my shipping thing...
  • my friend: and?
  • me: MAYBE I showed him some explicit destiel fanart from my phone...
  • my friend: and?
  • me: I read him a chapter of my favorite larry fanfic
  • my friend: and?
  • me: AND I GOT TOO EXCITED OK? SHIPPING IS A SERIOUS THING BITCH.