Reasons-Why-I'm-Single

Reasons why I'm still single: #8
  • my friend: geez gurl, you really need to stop with that shipping shit, c'mon, get your fat ass up of your bed and lets go somewhere to see cute guys and stuff...
  • me: CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEMME FINISH MY GAY FANFIC?
  • my friend: i'm done with you
1am Thoughts with Myself

Me (1st Thought): Do other people think about missing other people? Do they wonder what that person is doing? How come they don’t do anything if they miss them?

Me (2nd Thought): Probably. I mean you do. I don’t know why don’t you?

Me (3rd Thought): Seems like they’re content don’t wanna disturb them and their individual growth.

Me (72nd Thought): *contemplates the inevitability of death and sees visions of all possibilities in regards to how I die and what I see*

Me (73rd Thought): Time to sleep. No more crippling thoughts that make you die more on the inside than you already are after thinking the 36th thought.

Reasons why I'm still single: #9
  • *conversation with my friend after a date gone wrong*
  • my friend: So what did you do to him that he doesn't want to see you again?
  • me: Idk... Why I'm the one that had to have done something? I just shared him the stuff i like...
  • my friend: honey...
  • me: MAYBE I went too far with my shipping thing...
  • my friend: and?
  • me: MAYBE I showed him some explicit destiel fanart from my phone...
  • my friend: and?
  • me: I read him a chapter of my favorite larry fanfic
  • my friend: and?
  • me: AND I GOT TOO EXCITED OK? SHIPPING IS A SERIOUS THING BITCH.
Writers' worst fears
  • Boyfriend: *grabs phone*
  • Me: What are you doing?
  • Boyfriend: Looking through your browser history hehe
  • Me: NO!!!!!
  • Boyfriend: Oh, baby, what's the matter? You got any kinky dirty porn there?
  • Me: GIVE ME THAT PHONE!!!
  • Boyfriend: Why? -
  • Boyfriend: ...
  • Me: ...
  • Boyfriend: What the fuck.
  • Me: ...
  • Boyfriend: Why do you google testicle injuries and experience reports about heroin overdose?!?