Real-Sports

Just my two cents, but…

Auston Matthews and Josh Leivo walked into Real Sports today with Jordyn Johnson and Leivo’s GF Bianca Lane, so the fact that she’s here with him and not in school in California or back in Arizona and also hanging out with another Leafs WAG makes me think they’re actually together and not just a fling.

We were fully bought out for an event so they couldnt actually get a table or use our golf simulator so they didn’t come in and stay, but I just thought I’d put it out there.

Final Fantasy In A Nutshell
  • Final Fantasy I - Four Heroes Break A Time Loop
  • Final Fantasy II - Star Wars Where The Emperor Dies And Then Comes Back As The Devil And Then Dies Again And Then Comes Back As God And Then Gets Killed By Obi-wan
  • Final Fantasy III - Four Orphans Fight A Man Who Threw A Hissy Fit Over His Inheritance
  • Final Fantasy IV - Star Wars But The Emperor Is  A Space Ghost On The Moon
  • Final Fantasy V - Evil Giving Tree And His Gay Lover Fight A Confused Harem Protagonist And His Princesses
  • Final Fantasy VI - Star Wars But The Emperor Is Killed And Replaced By The Joker Halfway Through, Racism is Bad
  • Final Fantasy VII - Eco-terrorists Recruit Man With Padded Resume, Discover Corporate Greed Has Caused Giant Meteor To Be Elected, Hold Recount
  • Final Fantasy VIII - A Group of Cadets Find Out They All Lived At The Same Orphanage: Amnesia To Blame, Lead May Be Dead
  • Final Fantasy IX - Star Wars But The Main Characters Are Either Clones Or Princesses
  • Final Fantasy X - Daddy Issues, the Real Sports Story, With Special Guest Christian Guilt Complex
  • Final Fantasy XI - Giraffe And Friends Stop The Writer From Erasing This Game
  • Final Fantasy XII - Star Wars But Half The Bad Guys Aren’t Actually That Bad.  Except Judge Bergan, That Guy Is A Dick
  • Final Fantasy XIII - Being The Chosen One Will Kill Your Dating Life
  • Final Fantasy XIV - Heroes Saved The World From Bad Gameplay, Bugs
  • Final Fantasy XV - A Bachelor Party Goes Very Badly

anonymous asked:

In honor of pidge's birthday can you share some headcanons

happy birthday tiny terror!!!

  • pidge starts bringing her bayard with her whenever she’s gonna use altean rosetta stone
    • coran notices one day and is like “??? you know i can turn the safety on for you right”
    • she knows. but she refuses to let this thing win
  • she and hunk are the “i told you so” duo
  • pidge: “name one difference between wii sports and real sports” keith: “…..running?” pidge: “shut the hell up i don’t have to listen to this”
  • shiro’s hand is as big as pidge’s whole face and that stresses him tf out
  • pidge’s laptop: [system error] pidge, mockingly: “system error”
  • allura has no idea what peanut butter is lol but it sounds like it makes pidge happy so that’s nice
  • lance and pidge operate on the sibling barter system
    • if you’ve got a sibling you know the one
    • “i’ll trade you healing pod duty for lion cleaning duty” “dude deal”
    • “if you cover for me i won’t tell shiro you were the one who swapped his shampoo out for hair dye” “it was an accident
    • “pidge. merciful pidge. my best and only friend-” “whatever this is about, just know in advance that you owe me big time” 
  • [scaling the kitchen counter to reach something on a high shelf] pidge, softly: “parkour”
Public School Is A Goddamn Disater, Part 2: The Lovecraftian Madness of Machismo

Part 1 here, AKA: the Mantisocalypse (you don;t have to read it to understand this one, but you should anyway)

Content Warnings: Mental Illness, Attempted Murder, Sexual Content, Stalking, Abuse, Animal Abuse Mention, Emetophobia, US Public Education, Military Industrial Complex.  I’ve been told this is my most disturbing story, even if it’s hilarious, so mind your health.  All the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and Not-So-Innocent.

This is the story of Recruiting Sergeant Scott VS. The Lacrosse Jocks VS. Yours truly.

To understand this story, you must understand the dystopian hellscape that is US Public High School- I went to the NICE high school in town, with the AP curriculum and new building, where the the kids were generally too obsessed with getting into the ivy league to do anything worse than occasionally smoke on the roof.  Not even weed, just regular cigs.  During their off-periods, so they’d have time to febreeze their clothes and arrive to their next class early.  You know, the most boring fucking kids ever.

AND STILL, we were subjected to the various scourges of US public ed, namely-

-on-campus police officers and regular “what to do in case of a columbine event” drill.  We had Officer Munoz, who was a wonderful Latina Woman with the good sense to focus her efforts on getting kids away from abusive parents rather than persecuting brown kids, but we were VERY lucky on that front.  Still, having someone walking around with a gun and technically the authority to kill you, and having to hide in the science cabinets three times a year fucks you up.  Remember Officer Munoz though, She is Important.

- A weird, cult-like, frankly masturbatory attitude regarding athletic achievement.  The arts and sciences were stuck doing bake sales for supplies while the gym got re-done two years after the school opened.  This was tempered in an odd way at my school in that literally all the sports teams unequivocally sucked, with the exception of 

1.Marching Band, which went to nationals twice in the first two years the school was open 

2.Knowledge Bowl, where kevin and I took the team to 3rd in state in our first year, and only lost because Kevin had an asthma attack so we decided to let the other teams fight over the ‘lesser’ medals 

3.Lacrosse, which didn’t actually didn’t GO anywhere, but was a “real” sport and beat our ‘rival’ school, so the team got to be Big Men On Campus, and get away with all kinds of nonsense like eating in class when everyone else was forbidden or skipping tests for ‘practice’.  The three worst offenders were Dustin, Jack and “Rattlesnake Pete”, all of whom were budding neo-nazis and thus signed up for German.  With our Jewish teacher.  Remember them too.

-On-campus military recruiters.  As in, people who are legally allowed to exaggerate, manipulate and actually lie to minors to convince them to join the armed forces.  Ours was Sergeant Scott, and as much of a skeevy rat as he was I honestly felt bad for him, because remember, academic magnet high school so he had three kinds of kids to work with:

  • Kids who made the physical standards for the armed forces and were all about honoring their country via physical labor, but were dumb as shit and couldn’t pass the written exam.
  • Kids who could pass the written exam and were totally ready to bully some people in the third world, but couldn’t do a pull up if you covered the gym floor in cobras.
  • Kids who passed the physical and mental portions but were uniformly rabidly anti-military industrial complex, to the point where 35 of them crammed into his cubicle in the office he shared with Officer Munoz and Janitor Wendy, so they could hold a sit-in protest of the Iraq war and chant “Impeach Bush” and “War is Murder” at him  Someone chucked red paint on him, because they’re furious immature teenagers.  It was his first day.

Poor bastard.  Remember Him as well.

Keep reading

Just some Viktor Analysis for you kids, because you know I love it:

Figure skating, in general, is a Much Bigger Deal in the YOIverse than it is in real life. To the point where Viktor gets name recognition from people who don’t know anything at all about figure skating. I say this because I’ve been interested in figure skating my whole life, unlike I think a lot of the fandom (I could absolutely be wrong here, but that’s my estimate of the situation) and I learned very early on that Nobody Knew Jack About Figure Skating. Like I can name a total of TWO figure skaters off the top of my head who generally get name recognition–Kristi Yamaguchi and Michelle Kwan–when I talk about them to people who aren’t in the know. And even Kwan is a bit iffy. I can’t think of a single male figure skater whose name I could say in casual conversation and have someone say, “I totally know who that is.” I think this might be because the general population thinks figure skating is mostly just women, and also because figure skating really just isn’t on most people’s radar. This could be different in other countries, but even then I don’t think Viktor would have his International Celebrity status irl.

On the other hand, Viktor could just be one of those category-defying athletes who gain international attention because they are literally Just So Fucking Good at what they do. Think Michael Phelps or David Beckham. Nobody, in general, cares about swimming, but they sure do care about Michael Phelps. Everybody knows who David Beckham is, even in America, a country that doesn’t even have a real fanbase for the sport he plays. It’s entirely possible that at some point, someone realized that Viktor Nikiforov was Winning Everything and everyone got super curious over whether he would continue to do that–much like Phelps.

Also, Viktor is a very handsome European man, which probably helped a lot.

Either way, Viktor is an unusual celebrity who probably came up in the world very, very fast. As in, all attention was just on him suddenly one day. This probably happened somewhere around the 2010 Olympics, if you assume that Viktor probably hadn’t reached his full potential by his first Olympics, which was probably Turin 2006. I’m pretty sure Viktor Nikiforov stepped off the podium in Vancouver, suddenly a Russian household name and an international figure at an age where most people haven’t yet moved out of their parents’ house.

By the events of the anime, Viktor has been central in the public eye for over half a decade. He’s been TMZ’d and had a paparazzo follow him home, he’s done ads for sports drinks and athletic wear and shoes and cologne, he’s been put on diets–not Athlete Diets; Celebrity Diets; ‘eat four saltine crackers and a glass of coconut juice for two meals a day’ diets (Yakov put a stop to this quickly)–he’s had a publicist scream bloody murder at him over the phone because he did something stupid outside a club in Ibiza. One of my favorite ‘why Viktor cut his hair’ headcanons is that he had to cut it off because people kept pulling it in crowds, or trying to cut off pieces when he walked by.

These are not the typical experiences of a career athlete.

Viktor is a Celebrity Athlete, probably figure skating’s only celebrity athlete. There are probably a lot of people in the sport who don’t really even consider him an athlete, but at the same time he isn’t a movie star or a pop star, not One Of Us among the red carpet elite. Also, figure skating is unusual because it is an intersection of sport and performance. People get confused about where someone like Viktor lies on the athlete versus celebrity scale because he’s beautiful, he dresses up in costumes and performs to music. This isn’t football, or hockey or even track or swimming. Nobody is sure what Viktor Nikiforov is. He’s a creature unto himself.  His experiences are so drastically different from the experiences of everyone he knows that he literally has no one to relate to.

It creates distance. It makes him untouchable. 

And Viktor? Viktor is so fucking starved for genuine human contact and connection by the time he meets Yuuri that he’s willing to take himself halfway across the planet to get it.

With all of this known, can you imagine how powerful it was for Viktor to hear Yuuri say, “I just want you to be yourself, that’s all I need”?

It’s probably reason number one (of roughly ten thousand) for why Viktor fell in love with Yuuri.

i think my favorite thing about the SMH team is just how willing they are to just accept people– and not even accept them, but make them feel immediately welcome. Like… how long do you think Ford was even the manager-in-training before they went to that show and freakin’ cheered for her? a week? two? 

like for real, sports’ teams can be very exclusive. (hell, regular friend groups can be a bit standoffish!) And she isn’t even technically on the team. And Ransom and Holster are going to be gone before she is actually the manager? But those two (and I’m sure Shitty and Jack before them) have set up this culture where it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been there or how long you will overlap, if you are part of the Team, you get treated as part of the Team. Pretty much immediately. Literally so fast. 

like… these boys.

Cheerleading IS a sport | JJ

Request: a dom!jungkook smut when y/n is a cheerleader and he is like the player of the sport and yeah they could like have the fun in the changing room~

Pairing: Dom!Jungkook, Football!Jungkook X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Y/n, best flyer on the cheerleading squad. Jungkook, best kicker and scorer on the football team. What will happen when things get heated between the two all because of something that he just spilled out of his mouth.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Smut

Warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, Dominant!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, hospital handjob, cocky asshole Jungkook

Word Count: 3k+

Keep reading

iwaizumi hajime headcanons for his birthday!

  • [oikawa walks into the room] iwaizumi: [disappointed sigh]
  • says “believe in the me that believes in you” but like…..unironically
  • incredibly good at real sports. surprisingly bad at wii sports.
    • watari: “just swing it like a real baseball bat” iwaizumi: [puts the wii remote through the tv]
    • iwaizumi: “if there was running in this game i would beat all of you”
  • iwaizumi is shorter than itachiyama’s libero and the worst moment of his life was the day the seijou third years found out
  • [watching godzilla] godzilla: [knocks over a building] iwaizumi: “god i wish that were me”
    • does he want to be the building or godzilla? no one can tell
  • when people say “a good handshake makes a good first impression” they’re talking about his handshake
  • he is the most savage member of a team filled with savage people
    • only person able to make futakuchi kenji cry
    • will tell you, to your face, exactly what you are doing wrong, and has the receipts to back it up
    • thankfully, he’s also the most likely to help you fix whatever is going wrong in your life
  • his ringtone for oikawa is the imperial march
  • in their second year, hanamaki and matsukawa spread enough rumors about iwaizumi’s accomplishments that he became a legend at school
    • he’s basically a walking “the most interesting man in the world” commercial
    • hanamaki: “he divorced oikawa when he caught him littering”
    • matsukawa: “his business card only says ‘i’ll call you.’”
  • you know how sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night because you felt like you were falling? iwaizumi gets that too but for him it’s a high-pitched voice saying “iwa-chan!”
The definitely not definitive sports anime guide

So I did a thing a while back (a year ago, in fact) where I tried to make a primer for sports animes. I have since watched Many, Many More so let’s do this again (still no Daiya no Ace tho).
Based purely on my own meandering experience, here’s a hopefully comprehensive guide on picking your next set of adoptive sons.

Note: There’s ten shows so this is going to be long, you guys. Just… so long. And there will be many exclamation points.

Keep reading

instagram

So i just found out that professional knight fighting was a real sport and i’m already the biggest fan of it.

Made with Instagram
World’s Best Dad (Part 9)

Originally posted by deanandimpala

Summary: The reader spends the fall with the Winchesters and mends some old wounds with her family…

World’s Best Dad Masterlist

Pairing: single parent!Dean x kindergarten teacher!reader

Word Count: 5,500ish

Warnings: language, potential feels

A/N: <3 Love the end of this one…

Keep reading

Okay but guys, can we talk about something for a sec. Something I think is really genius.

In Andi Mack, Jonah’s passion is Ultimate Frisbee. Amber makes fun of him for it and says he’ll play a “real sport” once he gets to high-school. And he gets upset because he wants his girlfriend to genuinely support him and his interests, which is of course a valid and important wish to have in a relationship.

Then with Andi, she joined the team because she had a crush on him, not because sh actually really loved or enjoyed Ultimate Frisbee but because she wanted to be in a relationship with Jonah. Not to say this was bad exactly, but Andi even realized that she didn’t really care all that much and was happier when she left the team.

And then you have Cyrus, who, showed up for every game and brought refreshments and was so???supportive??? for no reason other than he wanted to be. Until now he didn’t consider himself a contender in who Jonah would date/be in a relationship with and he wasn’t really gaining anything from what he’s been doing other than seeing Jonah happy and being a part of Jonah’s passion.

Jonah recognized that, he recognizes that  Cyrus is the one that supports him unconditionally, the one that sincerely cares about his interests and not just the possibility of having a boyfriend like a status piece essentially.

Finally, Jonah has shown time and time again that he loves his sport a lot and by recognizing Cyrus as the mvp he’s sharing with Cyrus the place his heart is at and is recognizing that Cyrus is the mvp of his heart basically and. If that isn’t??? awesome??? and precious??? Then I don’t know what is.

anonymous asked:

Imagine Steve going off on a rant during a PR event about his strong feelings about the current state of baseball.

In Steve’s opinion, it took the once Brooklyn Dodgers far too long to ask him to throw the first pitch out at one of their games.  Sure, they’d moved to Los Angeles (and Steve wasn’t about to let them forget it) but he still considered himself the biggest fan they’d ever had.  The morning of the game was sunny and warm, and Steve gave the ball a throw with all his might.  As he heard the satisfying smack of it hitting the catcher’s mitt, he smiled towards the camera, fully aware that his face was on the jumbo screen, and made his way off the field.

It only took a few minutes of being off the mound before the press swarmed him.  He didn’t even have a chance to find his seat before experiencing the too familiar feeling of ten reporters shouting questions at him.  This time, however, one really caught his attention.

“Captain Rogers, what do you say to the young people who claim that baseball isn’t a real sport?”

“What?” Steve asked incredulously.  “Baseball is not just a sport, it’s an American sport.  It’s in our blood.  Next they’ll be saying that New York isn’t a real city.”  He scoffed and shook his head.  “Baseball might not be as fast-paced as some other sports, but it takes skill and heart to play it.  You have to be versatile, you have to think on your feet, you have to smart and quick and ready for anything.  That’s the American way.  Those boys out there, playing our country’s game, they’re doing it for the love of it.  Really, the only way I could be happier with the current state of baseball is if my team came back to Brooklyn.”

omg so imagine if neil doesn’t yet have his wisdom teeth. in fact. imagine any of the monsters not having their wisdom teeth out

neil purely ignores the pain bc he’s used to pushing through, and then he goes to a dentist and the dentist is like “when did your wisdom teeth come in?” and he’s like “they did? wow” and when he has them taken out he complains because he went through all that hard work for nothing

andrew thinks his pain is literally caused by a cavity until he makes neil look and neil’s like “wow……there’s another tooth growing in there” and then andrew’s like oh fuck no and it takes three compromises to get him to have his taken out

kevin whines the entire time but him coming off the painkillers is something nicky films and puts on youtube because it’s twenty minutes of kevin looking at neil and going “do i know you from somewhere? i swear i know you. do you know me? who am i? did i win the championships? is exy a real sport?” and andrew says “no” just for fun, but then kevin starts crying because he doesn’t think exy is a real sport

nicky is no different to how he normally is. he’s really dramatic about the pain and complains the entire time, but when he’s had them out he just wants to eat ice cream and call erik to complain even more

aaron flat out refuses to have his taken out. he won’t do it. no, not at all. never. you can’t make me, he says to andrew and andrew’s like, you’re right. and so he just. has them. they never leave him.