Real Money

Friendly reminder that Artemis Fowl literally donated a hugeass amount of his money to his already richass all-boys school–anonymously–with the deal that his whole year will go on a field trip all the way to friggin Germany just so he can sneak away from the whole group to rob the most secured bank in the world undetected by his parents. 

Artemis’ passion for crime knows no boundaries. 

here are some more trojan hcs that no one asked for

  • there are two dead ants in the corner of laila and alvarez’s dorm, which alvarez has named cabbage and theodore. laila insists they get rid of them. alvarez says she can’t just throw away her children like that
  • jeremy has a habit of walking into a room distracted by his phone (usually twitter or texts with kevin), and he’ll stop in the middle of the room and just sit on the floor, continuing to text
  • this leads jean to constantly trip over him because he’s not expecting jeremy to be sitting right inside the doorway when he comes back from class
  • laila could not for the life of her figure out how to double-knot her shoelaces until she was a junior in high school
  • jeremy has zero navigational sense. at all. jean has to do both the navigating and the driving when they’re in the car together. road trips are a nightmare
  • alvarez has a tattoo of a little astronaut on her arm, just because she thought it looked cool (it does)
  • jean and laila are always competing at something. sometimes they get identical puzzles and see who can put them together fastest, sometimes it’s shopping cart races at walmart at three in the morning.  there’s a pair of freshman backliners that somehow always end up in the baskets of these shopping carts
  • laila is Terrible at math, and is very frequently getting basic equations wrong
  • the biggest argument laila and jean have ever had is over whether fruity pebbles or fruit loops were better.  laila was all for fruit loops, and jean insisted fruity pebbles were superior.  they didn’t talk for three days after
  • jean gets rid of all the black in his wardrobe now that he’s no longer with the ravens. everything is colorful and bright, socks and shoes included
  • alvarez’s favorite nail polish color is called “hush money” purely because it’s called “hush money”
  • jeremy is really good friends with a sophomore striker, and he’ll take her out for breakfast every few weeks, and they’ll talk about new episodes of whatever anime they’re both watching, or a recipe jeremy really wants to try, or how the sophomore’s girlfriend accidentally dyed her hair orange
  • laila loves strawberries.  so much.
  • jeremy has, on several occasions, stopped the car because he saw a dog he wanted to pet
  • jean and laila have two fish that they take care of together, named butter and hargrove the eighth
  • alvarez used to figure skate. she takes laila on ice skating dates all the time partly because laila is terrible at ice skating and alvarez thinks this is adorable, but also partly because she really likes to show off
  • if she knows jean is having a hard time sleeping, alvarez will just send him a continuous stream of memes. most contain cats
  • jeremy has reading glasses
  • (jean Loves jeremy’s reading glasses)
  • laila is demiromantic
  • alvarez loves poetry, she has an entire shelf on her bookcase dedicated to her favorite collections, and has some of her favorite poems memorized. instead of singing/humming to herself when she’s spacing out, she’ll very quietly recite these poems
  • jean can do a perfect impersonation of lightning mcqueen, and very frequently uses it to make some of the freshmen laugh
  • they’re all actual rays of sunshine whom i love