How to Play a Player- Step Three: Slowly Let Him In
Playlist- Fuck Fuckbois
Alex texted you nearly every night now, and you often woke up to texts from him, so you weren’t surprised when he messaged you at 8 P.M. on a Thursday. What did shock you was what the message contained. It was a slew of misspelled words and some bad auto correct mistakes that you could hardly decipher. You decided it would be easier to just call him.
The phone rang for a long time before he picked up. “Alex?” you asked carefully. Anxiety was filling your gut.
“Hey!” His voice rang through the speaker of your phone. “How are ya, pretty thing? Where you at?”
“Alex, are you drunk?”
“Who’s with you?”
“No one. There’s a bird in this tree. I’ve been callin’ him Ricky.”
You furrowed your brow. “You got wasted by yourself? That’s kinda sad…”
“Yep! That’s me! A low-life, with no life, who’s going nowhere!”
You sighed and started to pull your coat on and walk out the door “Where are you? I’m coming to take you home.”
“In the park.”
It was hard to hide the annoyance in your voice. “Which park Alex?”
“One of ‘em.”
“Alexander Hamilton tell me right now what park you’re at.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” The line went dead. By this time you were already in your car. You groaned in frustration and threw your phone in the cup holder. It looked like you would have to check every park in New York City never mind that there were probably more than a thousand.
You started with the ones closest to his apartment, which he wasn’t at when you got there. You kept a can of mace at your side, just in case something happened. You tried not to stay too long at one park. If he didn’t respond to you walking around and calling his name, he probably wasn’t there. You kept moving, trying to keep the emotion out of this. You were alone at night walking around parts of New York you’d never been to, and no one but drunk Alex knew you were out. It wasn’t an ideal situation. You hated being alone in the city, especially at night. It pushed your anxiety through the roof. You only noticed when you put your hands on the still steering wheel how much they were shaking.
You were wandering in probably the sixth or seventh park you’d visited that night. You felt like you recognized this place, but you weren’t entirely sure why. As you walked, you called out for Alexander, but there was no response. You sighed and followed the loop of the path, giving up on this place. You were almost to your car when someone stepped in front of you so fast you narly stumbled into them.
“Hey there. How are you?”
You looked up at the tall man. He was older, with wrinkles on his face and white peppering his beard and hair. He was dressed in a suit and had an expensive looking jacket draped over his arm, but he reeked of alcohol and was leaning a little too close for comfort.
“I’m fine. Thank you.” you said quietly before attempting to step past him, but he caught your arm and spun you around.
“Woah, not so fast! Where do you have to hurry off to?”
“I…I’m looking for my friend.”
The stranger let out low whistle and stared at you. “Is that the bloke you were shouting for?” You swallowed hard a nodded, paralyzed for fear. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Why don’t you stay here with me for a bit? I bet I’m a lot more fun than him.”
“I’m sorry, I really need to find him.” You tried pull your arm away, but his grip only tightened.
“What’s the harm in spending some time with me?” he said with a toothy grin. You wanted to scream and fight and push him away, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. You were stuck. The man started to pull you closer.
“Please…” you whispered, tears silently falling from eyes.
“Hey don’t worry. I just wanna get to know you better.”
“Hey!” someone shouted. You both looked over to the sound. Alex was standing a short distance away. It was nearly winter, and he was wearing a T-shirt outside. “Let her go, man.”
The older man stared at Alex. Your vision was started to go dark. “Why? We’re just talking.”
“Because if you don’t take your hands of her right now, I’m calling the police.”
The man grumbled something and let go of your arm, walking away quickly. You instantly feel to your knees breathing heavily. Your chest felt tight and no matter what you did it wouldn’t loosen. It was like someone had put a brace on your lungs and was pulling them tighter and tighter until you suffocated.
Alex was at your side. “Y/N? Shit, are you okay?”
“Okay okay. What can I do?” Alex moved closer. You squeezed your eyes just with the sudden nausea and pushed Alex away.
“The alco…hol…Y-You smell…like h-him.”
“Oh God.” Alex stepped back. “What…what do you want me to do?”
“Just…st-stay away. Don’t t-touch me.”
There was a moment of silence filled with only your ragged breathing and choked sobs, and then you heard Alex’s footsteps slowly moving away.
You leaned back and put your head between your knees, willing the ache to stop. You took deep breaths until it hurt. Finally, after several minutes of breathing and whispering mantras to yourself, you started to calm down. You wiped at your face and felt you tears soak into your glove. Slowly, you turned your head toward Alex.
He was sitting on the ground a few feet away, watching you. His eyes were concerned, he looked hurt and ashamed.
“I’m fine.” Your voice was quiet, but it was enough for him to see.
You nodded and stood up. Alex walked quickly over and took you in his arms.
“I’m so sorry.” he whispered.
“It’s okay.” You rub your hand along his back soothingly. “Aren’t you cold?”
“Not really.” He pulled away and shrugged. Alex stared down at the ground. You frowned.
“Alex, what’s up?”
“You shouldn’t have come out here.” he said quickly. “You almost got hurt. You shouldn’t have come after me.”
“What is going on with you? Why were you out here in the first place?”
Alex looked up to the sky with an annoyed face. “I just wanted to take a walk, think, forget for a bit. Things got out of hand, but you shouldn’t have come after me.”
“Are you crazy? Of course I was gonna come after you!”
“Why?” His eyes met yours carefully
“You could’ve gotten hurt tonight too, Alex.”
“Why do you care?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
Alex turned away from you. “You shouldn’t.”
“Jesus, what is with you tonight?”
“The possibility of me getting hurt shouldn’t compel you to risk yourself. I’m not worth it.”
You stared at him in shock and anger. “You can’t actually believe that.”
“Well,” He threw his hands up. “I do.”
“What do you mean you’re not worth it?”
“Look at me, Y/N. I’m an idiot. All I do is drink and get high. I barely have any real friends. I can’t keep a stable relationship. I hate my job, and I’m going nowhere, everyone knows it.”
Silence passed between you two. You weren’t sure I don’t break it, but you did know one thing.
“I don’t think that…I don’t think you’re going nowhere.”
Alex scoffed. “Yeah, okay.”
You grabbed his hand and made him look at you. “Really. You’re not going nowhere. So, you’ve made some mistakes, and yeah, maybe journalism sucks right now, but you’re a good writer Alex. You can do some much more if you just put your mind to it. You’ll never know how much potential you have until you start trying. And just because you’ve done some bad things, that doesn’t make you a bad person. Not regretting your mistakes is what’s not okay.”
Alex looked at you, for a long time. Your hand still held onto his. “You really think I could do something great?”
“I think you have the potential to. Maybe if you spend less time drunk in parks and more time on building the career you want.”
Alex laughed lightly and nodded. He met your eyes, before looking at the scenery around you. “You know…this park is where I took you on our first date.”
“Really?” You swiveled your head around, looking at all the different landmarks. “That’s why it looked…familiar.”
“I am sorry, by the way.”
“Alex I told you, it’s oka-”
“No not for tonight. I mean I am, I am sorry for tonight. But…I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was a dick, and you didn’t deserve that. You’re a really great person, Y/N.” He stepped closer to you and took you other hand in his. You were mesmerized by his dark eyes. “I really regret leaving you…”
Alex leaned down and connected his lips to yours. They were cold, like the rest of his body, but it made you feel warm. He tasted like spice, probably Fireball. You never wanted this moment to end.
But then you realized, this was Alexander Hamilton. He had hurt you, and so many others. You shouldn’t be kissing him. You should be kissing him. You shouldn’t be kissing him.
You put your hands on his chest and pushed Alex away. “I’m sorry I…I just.”
“Seriously?” he asked. “Y/N, we’ve been hanging out regularly for almost half a year! You can’t just pretend there’s nothing here.”
“Alex, I told you I wanted to stay friends. I want to keep this platonic. I’m sorry if you expected something more from me, but I told you from the beginning that I didn’t want to get back together.” you explained, but he didn’t look convinced. “And with Gilbert…I don’t want things to get complicated.” You regretted it the moment you said it. Being caught in a lie would be the worst thing for your plan, but it did seem to shut him up.
“I know, I just-” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Nothing. Never mind. I’m sorry.”
A surge of annoyance, ran through you. Was he really that unaccustomed to not getting what he wants?
“C’mon.” you said, dejected. “You’re gonna freeze to death out here. I’ll drive you home.”
Alex followed your wordlessly to your car, and stayed that way for most of the ride to your house. You put on some quiet music in an attempt to ease the tension, but it didn’t work.
You stopped in front of Alex’s apartment complex. He unbuckled and opened the door, stepping out. When he turned to shut it he paused and looked at you for a moment.
“I really am sorry. “ His eyes were so hurt and sincere.
“I know.” you whispered. Alex lingered for a bit, but eventually he nodded and shut the door, walking away.
You leaned your forehead against the steering wheel. What the hell had just happened? Why had he gotten so angry? Yeah, you’d been spending a lot of time together, and yes, the kiss was nice…very nice…knees weak swooning nice…
Your mind wandered back to that kiss, picturing what would’ve happened if you hadn’t pushed him away. It was nice to think about.
Well, it was nice, until you were interrupted by a text from Gilbert.
Hey, Alex made it seem like you thought something was going on between us? I’m really sorry if you misread my intentions but I don’t see you that way…I’m sorry….
“Shit shit shit!” you whispered to no one in particular. You quickly replied with a “NO” and then started to type a text with more explanation.
I’ve honestly just been saying a few things to piss him off. He can be a real player sometimes and I’m tired of it so I wanted to make him jealous
Gilbert replied quickly.
Oh haha I’m tired of it too mon amie use me however you need ;)
You thought back to the article. The reason you’d started this whole thing. You thought of how badly Alex had acted to your rejection tonight. You smirked and texted Gilbert back.