I Should Have Cheated || Derek Luh Part 2 *Requested*
Here is PART 1
As the song finished, I couldn’t help but to bawl. I felt like an idiot, used, unappreciated and naïve. How could I be so blind as to not see that he was cheating on me? All those times that he said he loved me, was it even true? Or was it to make sure he could get into my pants? I really loved him, hell, I still do love him. But I refuse to be someone’s doormat, especially someone who’s lied to me countless times.
Shit, where am I? I look around and see a hotel is only 5 miles away. I guess that’s better than sleeping in my car. I pull into the Ramada Hotel parking lot and touch up my face. I don’t need people I don’t know to see that I’ve been crying. I finally check in and realize I have no bags. Just my phone, charger and my wallet. Just my fucking luck.
I get to my room and try to decompress everything that just happened. I end up going through my photos and texts messages between Derek and I. How could he ruin something so perfect? We were supposed to get married and have kids. Guess that’s not happening now.
FUCK! How the hell did she find that video?! How could she just leave without letting me explain? I don’t even know what to do right now. I love her and I fucked it up. She’s never going to take me back. Not this time. I need help to get her back.
“No Carly. He is not cute and you’re drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon HAHA! Go home before you sleep with a -7. I’ll call you tomorrow.” As I put down my phone, it signaled me that I got a text message.
Whoa, what the hell? What does that even mean? You know what, fuck this. I need answers.
I don’t know how it’s helping, but starring at this hotel ceiling is really peaceful. I was just about to clear my mind when… *VIBRATES*
Even though Derek was pretty much Satan to me right now, Delaney was the complete opposite.
Delaney kept her word and was there in 30 minutes. I went to the front office and checked out of the room. When I was done, I got in my car and tailed her back to her apartment. We got in and I saw a picture of Derek and I on her foyer table. No matter how hard I tried not to, this time I couldn’t help the tears rushing down my face.
“Oh Sweetheart! It’s going to be okay. You’re going to get through this. You are so much stronger than some man hoe. And I know that’s my brother and I will always love him, but he is so wrong for doing this. I’ve never been so just, ugh with him. Is there anything I can do?” I loved her for being so concerned about me, but I didn’t even know what I needed. My mind hadn’t processed that far.
“I don’t know. I want to stop loving him, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. At least not anytime soon. I don’t even think he loved me. That’s the funny part about all of this.”
“There is no doubt in my mind that he loved you. You were the best thing that happened to him and he knew that. He’s selfish, Y/N. He needs to grow up.”
She was right, but I can’t wait around for him to do so. At least not anymore. I’m not going to let him have control over me. I’m stronger than this. I am more important than this and I matter. It’s time for me to show that.
*2 weeks later*
It’s time I stop hiding and be me again. Even though I live with Delaney now, I will never be in Derek’s life the same way. And I’m okay with that.
“Hey Girlie, I heard you singing to some badass music earlier. Does that mean you’re feeling better?”
“Yeah, I am. I talked to Derek and told him that I would be coming by to pick up the rest of my stuff that wasn’t picked up a few weeks ago. Thank you again for doing that. I wasn’t in the right mindset to do so then.”
“Absolutely. I had to talk to him face to face anyway.”
“How was he?”
“Destroyed. He’s still working and the boys were keeping him company, but he wasn’t the same. Have you talked to him about it at all?”
“No. I talked to Swazz though. He was just checking in.”
“Do you forgive him? Derek.” I never gave her a straight answer. I just wanted to get the rest of my stuff form his place.
We arrived at his house and I was greeted with a hug from KDL.
“You know he misses you. He was just thinking with the wrong head that night.”
“I know.” I stepped past him and he let me in the house. That’s when I saw Derek. He looked like hell, but he was still powering through to get his work done. I gave him a half ass wave and headed to the bedroom. I know he’ll follow me.
“You know I love you,” I heard from behind me.
I turned around and looked at him, “I know, I love you too. I always have, Derek.” I saw Delaney and a few of the boys walk in and start carrying out my belongings.
“So then where does that leave us, Y/N? Do you forgive me? You say you love me, but you’re still moving your shit out.”
“It leaves us where we are. I forgave you weeks ago, but not for you. I had to forgive you for me because I matter. Whether you see that or not.”
“Of course I know that! God, I made a mistake. I don’t want to be without you. None of those other hoes matter. You’re right, you do mater! And you have to know that you matter to me.” It looked like he was about to cry, but I honestly didn’t care. I didn’t fuck this up. He did.
“I used to know that, but now I don’t know what to believe. After being lied to for almost 3 years, it’s hard to believe anything you say.”
“So you are still mad.” I looked behind him when I saw Delaney walk back in.
“Hey, ready to go when you are.” She said it in voice that almost said ‘I’m sorry, but you can do this’.
I gave her a nod and looked Derek back in his beautiful brown eyes. The eyes I used to look to for hope or reassurance. When I didn't see that anymore, I knew it was time. I gave him one last hug and kissed his lips.
“I’m not mad. I’m just done.” With that, I walked out of his room, out of his house and out of his life.
Author’s Note: Here is part 2 of the Derek Luh Smut, I Should Have Cheated. This was requested and I hope you all like it!