Befriending my body the way it actually is, and not the way I wanted it to be, was the most important act of self-love. I stopped being overly critical with myself and learned seeing my body for all its miraculous functions and abilities, and in exchange I was blessed to experience the most precious love story. This love story isn’t relying on outer influences and factors. It’s a love story between me and the only person I will spend the rest of my life with for sure: myself. I will continue to work on deepening this loving relationship for the rest of my life. When I stopped hating my body, I was rewarded with a peace of mind that I wish everyone around me to experience as well.
—  sometimes I’m drowning in pain because I take for granted how far I came. I need to remind myself of this fact more often

how to love your body when you hate it…

  • step away from the mirror. its inaccurate. your brain is tricky, judgemental and dysmorphic. you can’t scrutinise yourself to happy
  • what would you say to your best friend if they were hating on their body? apply that same level of caring to your own. you DO deserve it.
  • tell me, how do you FEEL? are you full of energy? are you able to do so much more than you were when you were hurting yourself? can you run, jump, smile, lift up your arms to hug someone? think of all of the wonderful things you can do. all of the wonderful things your vessel brings you. aren’t you so lucky?
  • start to look at your body as art. every curve, lump, bump, edge, soft crease and tuft of hair is a miracle. the arc of your arm as you stretch as you wake up, the morning light illuminating your face. it is beautiful and it is all there for you. celebrate yourself. take a long hot shower and thank the universe for giving you this home.
  • endless care. endless love. endless kindness. you need to show you all of it.

you can’t hate yourself into a person that you love.

Stop!!! Telling!!! Me!!! To!!!! Teach!!! My!!! Daughter!! To!! Hate!!! Her!! Brown!!! Features!!!!!!!

Yes! She has a lot of body and facial hair! No! I won’t teach her that she needs to shave and wax!
Yes! She will tan easily! No! I won’t keep her from going outside so she doesn’t get “too dark”!
Yes! She will have coarse curly hair!! No!!! I will not force her to relax it or constantly straighten it!!
White and nonblack mothers: if your child is mixed, you have a responsibility to them to honor and take care and nurture their brown and black bodies. It is vital. Teach your children, ESPECIALLY YOUR DAUGHTERS, radical self love.
The cycle of racism and colorism can be combated with you. You can affect society, one mixed baby at a time. It is your duty as a mother.

i’m not interested in love that looks like owning people. i am, however, super down to watch you grow and love and complete yourself while i do the same. if we can come together and share what we’ve learned with each other, i think we’ll feel safe. and if i love you, i am always rooting for you to love and put yourself first. your well-being is important. mine is, too. the best relationships i have with people are the ones where the only people we belong to are ourselves. if you’re reading this: don’t forget about you, babe. 

anonymous asked:

I would give anything to look like you, literally anything

I bet you are so amazing unique and beautiful.  Sometimes I covet how other women look and I find myself wishing my waist was smaller or my breasts bigger or my tummy flatter. But, then I remember that I can love how a woman looks and not covert her body.  I can love how another woman looks and still love my own look, even when it is diversely different from hers.  Don’t let institutionalized self hatred control you.

Maybe I’ve read too much into your comment, but baby, be you.  Look like you.  UN-apologetically exist in your own beautiful way and I will support, uplift and stand right behind you; cheering you on and instead of giving up everything to look like someone else; gain everything by being you.

my dark eye circles are just fine.
my skin is just fine.
my body is just fine.

it is okay to think these things. you are allowed.

One day I want to stop hating pieces of myself.
Because i cannot hate myself into being.

One day I want to have the eyes of a kind and non judgemental friend, cuz those eyes
are the sun and the steady rain…
Those eyes are what help the seeds become.

You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away. ~ C. JoyBell C.


Lately, I’ve been trying this new crazy radical thing called SELF LOVE!! I’ve devoted way too much of my time and energy to hating myself and my body. Years of eating disorders and self hate made me think being smaller would make me happier, and easier to love. But I have never been as happy with myself as I am now- tummy rolls, double chin, dimples, cellulite and all. It’s amazing how freeing it is to realize that you are enough just the way you are, and you don’t have to be a certain size to be happy. I can now look in the mirror and do a little happy dance and smile when I see my belly shaking, instead of bursting into tears. I still have my bad days, but I’m loving every minute of loving my body 💕