wizard: i want to run up to the monster, put my hands on its butt and cast shocking grasp.

dm: how high is your speed and whats the spell range?

wizard: 30 and i gotta touch it to cast the spell.

dm: the monster is 45 feet away though. you can’t reach it.

wizard: yeah, but… what if i naruto run?

(long pause)

dm, visibly crying: just fucking…. go for it. im gonna let you do this just once.

That works...

So I was having a conversation w/ a friend about interesting DnD moments, he decides to tell me about the one player who fulfilled his role a little differently.

Him: So the guy creates a Half Orc Rogue, okay?

Me: O-Kay… Different but it could work…

Him: The thing is, he puts no points into Stealth.

Me: Uhh….

Him: Instead, he only does intimidation. He cranked the points really high. So whenever he needed to perform a stealth check, he’d just walk up to the people he’s sneaking by and yell “YOU CANT SEE GROG!!!” and because of his intimidation points, the people would just respond in fear, “I can’t see you! I can’t see you”.

B. A. R. D.

Bard : So we’ve got this airship.

Gunslinger : Yup.

Bard : And I can cast Feather Fall on a small group of people.

Gunslinger : Mmhmm?

Bard : So technically, if it DOES come to war, I can drop a small task force of heavily armored troops into the enemy’s backline. Probably archers.

Gunslinger : You know… That’s a good idea.

Bard : I’m gonna call them BARD Jumps. Brilliant Aerial Reconnaissance Drops. Bard.

Gunslinger : *facepalm*