So this is the treaty that officially makes Crimea a part of Russia. Hmmm…I wonder how I should sign my name. Vladimir Putin? Tsar Putin I? The Boss Of All Russia? Fuck you, America? Ahahahaha, screw it. I am signing it with all of them.

Every time someone says Lionel Messi is the best soccer player in the world I laugh so goddamn hard. When this picture was taken I had been juggling the ball non-stop for nearly ninety fucking minutes already!