Querencia

Favorite Words

~~A list of words, that I am forever adding onto, that I have dubbed my favorites. Most unknown to many.

wonderwall

(n.) someone who you find yourself thinking about all the time. The person who you are completely infatuated with.

metanoia

(n.) a fundamental change of thinking; a transformative change of heart

petrichor

(n.) the scent of rain on dry earth

eunoia

(n.) beautiful thinking; a well mind

nefelibata

(n.) lit. “cloud -walker” ; one who lives in the clouds of their own imagination or dreams, or one who does not obey the conventions of society, literature, or art.

querencia

(n.) a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

redamancy

(n.) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

bibliophile

(n.) a lover of books; one who loves to read, admire and collect books

antephialtic

(n.) something that protects against nightmares

paracosm

(n.) a detailed, prolonged imaginary world created by a child that includes human, animal, or alien creations.

accismus

(n.) the act of feigning disinterest in someone or something while actually desiring it

noceur

(n.) one who sleeps late or not at all; or, one who stays out late to revel or party

aeipathy

(n.) an enduring and consuming passion

induratize

(v.) to make one’s own heart hardened or resistant to someone’s pleas or advances, or to the idea of love

anacampserote

(n.) something that can bring back a lost love

cosmogyral

(adj.) whirling around the universe

desenrascanço

(n.) the improvisation of haphazard but completely sound solutions or plans at the last minute

oprphic

(adj.) mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding

dépaysement

(n.) when someone is taken out of their own familiar world into a new one

elucidate

(v.) make [something] clear; explain.

perturbation

(n.) anxiety; mental uneasiness.

stipulate

(v.) demand or specify [a requirement], typically as part of a bargain or agreement.

despondency

(n.) a state of low spirits caused by loss of hope or courage.

ataraxia

(n.) a state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety; tranquillity.

Look y’all. I don’t watch GMW. I literally just see it on my dash from time to time but today I went in to see why everyone was dying across my timeline so I saw the last episode. And wow this show is important. 

 I would do anything for you. If there’s anything that I know in my life it’s that you are my extraordinary relationship.

The friendship of two girls is just so solid. They are the single most important person to one another, period point blank, regardless of anything. Do you know how important it is to set that as the one constant in a show, that regardless of all to come of how people grow towards the sun and in all directions they are each other’s roots but it’s more than that. In spanish there is a word called querencia. In a rough translation it’s the place where you draw strength from, but it also describes how we always return to where we feel safe where we feel at home. They are each other’s querencia. 

“Maybe it’s because your dad left. Maybe it’s because you’ve never felt that love. But it gave you the greatest capacity of love that I have ever seen.”

When you grow up feeling half loved it makes you starve for love, you yearn for it more than anything. But it also makes you question every intimate relationship you form. Will they love you in return? Are you worthy of that love? Can you even love that person the way they deserve? Do you know how important it is for young girls to know that just because someone walked away from them, just because they felt alone it doesn’t damage them. It doesn’t restrict or break their ability to love and be loved. That is so important. 

“I choose you and I really want you to choose me.”

As you get older you learn one thing. Love is a choice. And it’s something you have to do every damn day. You have to choose that person everyday regardless of what might come, regardless of what you’ve yet do discover of them, regardless of those dusty parts of their soul. You choose them  every day even when it’s hard and hopefully they always choose you. 

“live your life, I’ll live mine. I know you’re out there and I’m out there too.

Look it’s not only a callback to one of my favorite cory and topanga moments but it’s also such a mature way to look at a relationship. it’s saying. I respect you and you respect me and we both care for each other and it’s okay that right now this can’t be happening. It’s okay for us to be happy outside of each other and continue living our lives. 

Honestly a show on Disney channel is doing a hell of a lot better job on showing important and mature relationships than most shows I’ve ever watched. 

As for the querencia, we all have
a place where we feel safest, even if it is only
the idea of a place, maybe an idea by itself,
the place that all our being radiates out from,
like an idea of friendship or justice or perhaps
something simpler like the memory of a back porch
where we laughed a low and how the setting sun
through the pine trees shone on the green chairs,
flickered off the ice cubes in our glasses.

Stephen Dobyns, from “Querencia,” Velocities: New and Selected Poems, 1966-1992 (Viking Penguin, 1994)

Querencia


“Because some people live, others just exist” she said sleepily. “Sleep” I replied. She closed her eyes. Strands of her hair fell and covered her face. I tucked it in her ears. She opened her eyes, stared at me, and I did the same. Her brown eyes took me somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful. She smiled and muttered the three words I heard million times already, “I love you,” but it still feels the first time, I wondered why. I leaned close to her and kissed her gently in the space between her eyebrows. “I love you too.” She closed her eyes again.

            She is still the most beautiful girl in the world. Even if she said that her eye bags are bigger than the usual or her eyebrows is a mess. Even if she said that her body is too thin, her skin is so pale, and her body weak, her hair dry and her lips chapped. I caressed her hair, and watched her sleep. She doesn’t know how beautiful she is in my eyes. She doesn’t know that I love her hair, and how she flicks it in her shoulders. I love her eyes, how it smiles whenever she’s happy. I love her pointed nose, her soft lips and her not so perfect teeth. I love her shoulders, and how it moves whenever she giggles. I love her curves and her edges. I love her thighs which she always covers with her skinny jeans. I love her hands, her gentle fingers. I love it most when it intertwines with mine. I love her height. I love her laugh. I love how she pouts. I love her because she’s gibberish, she’s smart, and she’s logical, she’s fair, adorable and kind. I love all of her. Even when she’s ranting, she’s in the bad mood, or when she has PMS. Even if she says she’s not worth loving, that she’s going to leave me someday. Something prickled within me. I ignored it. I just want more time with her. I want to tell her how beautiful she is. I’ll tell her how I love her imperfections, that I am not saying this because she’s on the verge of death. But I know, she won’t believe me, so I’ll tell her, I want to grow old with her to prove how beautiful she really is.  But it’s too late. It feels like it’s too late.

            Her eyes opened a little. “I’m tired” she said weakly. I choked back a sob. “Then sleep.” She stared at me and smiled. “You’re so beautiful.” I whispered. She giggled. Oh how I will miss that. “Live” She said. Then she closed her eyes once more. 

 

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This short story is 2 years old but it’s one of my best works, so I’m sharing it to you. 😊

P.S. Please give credit when you want to repost it. Thanks!