I never liked taking
my young son, Ben, along on business trips, as he was at that tireless,
inquisitive age whereby everything is either boring or fascinating. But Ben’s
father - a handyman - was working all weekend and the regional office had
a creche, so I decided to turn the trip into a weekend break. The hotel in
Atlanta, Georgia was pretty, but past it’s best - the sort of place with lots of
empty rooms. The polite young guy on reception took a shine to us, and gave us
the penthouse suite at the regular room-rate, since no-one was using it.
The suite was huge: two bedrooms and a lounge; plenty of
space for Ben to play whilst I worked on my presentation which nobody would
“Misser Duck’s in here, mommy!” He ran out of the bathroom,
I barely looked up from my ancient laptop. “You mean ‘Mr.
Duck’, sweetie?” He couldn’t pronounce his ‘T’s.
“Misser Duck, Misser Duck!” he was bouncing with glee. “He’s
sayin’ fings! Come see, mommy!”
I said I’d go look later, pleased he’d made a friend to
amuse himself, even if it was imaginary. “But ducks don’t ‘say’ things, honey.
They quack! So why don’t you quack back?”
I became so engrossed in my stupid project that I didn’t
notice it was growing dark outside. Ben’s giggles from the lounge spurred me to
shut my laptop and call him in.
“I’ll order us some food, buddy. Sorry mommy’s not been much
“S’ OK, mommy. Misser duck’s been quack-quack-quacking! He
This made me smile, although I wondered what had brought a
duck to mind, as we were about as far from any pond as possible. That night,
Ben insisted he sleep alone in the adjoining bedroom; I agreed as he’d been so
well-behaved all evening. I heard him whispering softly until late, and figured
he was excited about being away from home and making a new, make-believe
friend. I imagined hearing faint, raspy “quacks” echoing as I drifted off to
sleep, and gentle duck footsteps somewhere above me.
The next morning I found Ben curled up under his bed in a
“Whatever’s the matter, sweetheart? Doesn’t Mister Duck want
to play, today?”
“Misser duck lef’ me all alone. He liked seein’ you sleep
I felt a draft on the back of my neck, and looked up to see
the ancient ventilation shaft above the head of Ben’s bed, missing its grill
cover. I rushed back into my room to find an identical set-up. As I peered into
the black passageway, just big enough to fit a person, it dawned on me that
Ben’s dad would have taught him the word “duct”, as he was forever fixing them
in our apartment block. I’d noticed similar shafts in the suite’s bathroom and
“You lookin’ for
Misser Duck? S’ OK, Mommy. He quacked me where we lived, so I quacked him our
Summary: For this anon: Having the worst week ever with exams coming up and getting the flu. Can you please write something AU about M/S celebrating William’s first birthday together on the run as a family? Maybe throw in a little smut too where appropriate? Something sad but sweet? YOUR WORK WILL BRING ME BACK TO LIFE.
They try not to go to stores with William if it can be helped. Babies attract attention and babies who sometimes make small objects sail about attract even more. They dress him in girls’ clothing to obfuscate further, call him Lily when they’re out.
He sleeps in dresser drawers, runs his chubby hands over his mother’s brown pixie cut and his father’s scruffy beard. Mulder plays roll-the-ball with him on motel floors, teaches him how to pat friendly dogs and how to fingerpaint in the bathtub. Scully reads him books she finds at the Goodwill, makes sure he’s getting adequate nutrition and medical care. She cuddles him to sleep while he nurses, finally able to let her guard down and enjoy him.
.. Quack ... (also that is good because I love ducks,, also???? Imagine waking up at 2am bc of "quack" "quack, quack, quack-"
Haha it did happen! I wanted to be irritated by it (because waking up is annoying on itself) but it was just too funny. It made me laugh, and so it spooked my sleepy-ness away. The best way to wake up is laughing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
girls only wine night turned into sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
gonna spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home again.
my ten year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i dont wanna be an uncle yet"
yeah my parents were ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are beautiful!"
he was rambling on about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Not only did i hold your hair back as you puked, i French braided it. I am such a good friend.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quiet and started chanting quack...quack...quack
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had a cow E-I-E-I-O With a moo moo here And a moo moo there Here a moo, there a moo Everywhere a moo moo Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had a pig E-I-E-I-O With a oink oink here And a oink oink there Here a oink, there a oink Everywhere a oink oink Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had a duck E-I-E-I-O With a quack quack here And a quack quack there Here a quack, there a quack Everywhere a quack quack Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had a horse E-I-E-I-O With a neigh neigh here And a neigh neigh there Here a neigh, there a neigh Everywhere a neigh neigh Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had a lamb E-I-E-I-O With a baa baa here And a baa baa there Here a baa, there a baa Everywhere a baa baa Old MacDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O
Old MACDONALD had a farm E-I-E-I-O And on his farm he had some chickens E-I-E-I-O With a cluck cluck here And a cluck cluck there Here a cluck, there a cluck Everywhere a cluck cluck With a baa baa here And a baa baa there Here a baa, there a baa Everywhere a baa baa With a neigh neigh here And a neigh neigh there Here a neigh, there a neigh Everywhere a neigh neigh With a quack quack here And a quack quack there Here a quack, there a quack Everywhere a quack quack With a oink oink here And a oink oink there Here a oink, there a oink Everywhere a oink oink With a moo moo here And a moo moo there Here a moo, there a moo Everywhere a moo moo