Punch and then shoot

Donald Trump removed the KKK, Neo-Nazi and other white supremacist groups from the Terrorist Watchlist and will focus all his counter-terrorist on ones carried out by Muslims - two years after Dylan Roof killed 8 black churchgoers & right after the Quebec massacre where a white supremacist killed 8 Muslims at their mosque. I will never forgive or carry any sympathy for those who voted for him.

It must be awkward to have one of those Monthly Cycles™ if you’re in space and are surrounded by four guys and two aliens who most likely don’t have to or know how to deal with that but tbh I’m laughing at the concept of Pidge asking if the castle has heating pads to help her with cramps and Keith saying “I don’t know but my lion can shoot lava so if you punch me it’ll be on its way here”

7

Mark: Whether I’m gay or not has no reflection –

Owen: No, it does. Just listen –

Julia: I don’t think that you have ownership of horror of this crime.

Owen: Can I just say, I find this, I find this astonishing.

Julia: I’m not Jewish and I’m not gay, I’m not French, but I still am equally horrified by these crimes.

Owen: This was a – I’m being yelled at, which is incredible.

Julia: Stop talking so [we hadn’t do].

Mark: That’s the headline: ‘Isil wages war on gays in west’. Now you share that view, that basically this was deliberately targeted on one part of the community rather than the freedom to enjoy yourself no matter what your sexual orientation is.

Owen: What are you talking about?!?

Mark: I’m talking about the coverage in the newspapers.

Owen: It’s not some abstract, kind of, he just picked a random club out of nowhere. He picked a club because it was full of people he regarded as deviants. That’s why he attacked the club.

Julia: It’s a hate crime, this is an act of terrorism, it was an attack on gay people, absolutely, it was horrific. However, my mind guesses this man probably would be as horrified by me as a gobby woman as he would – genuinely, genuinely – this is the thing. We don’t know right now. We can speculate, but we don’t know how much of this is motivated by just his homophobia.

Owen: We heard from his own father about his revulsion – why are we trying to deflect? Why are you both pick-

Mark: We are not trying to deflect. We are trying to reflect what is being said by the authorities here and –

Owen: Can I ask, what argument are you trying to pick here?

Mark: I’m now going to quote from what The Telegraph is saying…’his father said…[he] may have targeted the gay community after becoming angry when he saw two men–’

Owen: ‘May have’? He did! Why are you saying this?

Julia: ‘After seeing two men kissing in Miami some months ago’ – he may have been angered by many other things since then!

Owen: I’m sorry. I just find this the most astonishing thing I’ve ever been involved with on television. If he’d walked into a synagogue, and massacred dozens of Jewish people, you wouldn’t be saying what you’re saying now.

Owen: This bizarre attempt to deflect from this –

Mark: We are trying to draw parallels in terrorist attacks on people who are being attacked whether they are enjoying rock music in Paris, whether they are gay people in Florida enjoying a night out.

Julia: I completely accept it, as [Mark] does, that it was a homophobic attack, but for me the issue is there are going to be homophobic people, there’ll be people who hate black people, or who hate gay people, or hate Jewish people. There are going to be people, who are lunatics, who are fanatics –

Owen: Who are “lunatics”! Stop using these words, Julia!

Julia: Is it possible for me to finish one sentence?

Owen: If you stop using words like “lunatic” to talk about homophobic terrorist attacks!

Julia: Well thank you. Whoever these people are, and whatever their motivations are, the key thing is we’re always going to have mad and bad people in the world.

Owen: Mad and bad people. Okay.

Julia: And the key issue is, that they can’t do too much or any harm. When you have free access to assault weapons in a country like America, then they’re able to put their hatred of other people –

Owen: Yes! Obviously!

Julia: – into effect, and do damage. That’s the issue for me.

(discussion between Mark and Julia on gun control and the U.S. …Julia: It is absolutely absurd, if America were not going to do something about gun control after Sandy Hook in 2012, if you’re going to watch six- and seven-year-olds being massacred and you don’t think you need to act, they are never going to act.)

Mark: There’s something else here in The Telegraph coverage, which I think we need to bring up, Owen, in relation to your point. And that is, I think that we’ve got at least a call from a spokesman for Stonewall saying that people would be feeling vulnerable, and basically indicating –

Owen: Oh, you’re going to have an LGBT voice talking about it. Interesting.

Mark: Sorry?

Owen: Nothing, carry on. Go on.

Julia: Owen, seriously.

Owen: I’ve had enough of this. I’m going home. Sorry. No way.

Julia: Owen, genuinely, we’re trying to have a civilized conversation.

Owen: I know you’re having it, I don’t want it!

Julia: I know you’re upset, you’re very upset –

Owen: Yeah, I am, I’m very upset. I’m very upset.

Julia: Everyone’s upset and angry about this, but storming off a TV set –

Owen Jones, Mark Longhurst, and Julia Hartley-Brewer discuss the Pulse nightclub shootings, 12 June 2016

Sentence meme (Torture my character version)

Make them cry

  • “I never loved you.”
  • “You’re the reason they’re dead!”
  • “It’s all your fault!”
  • “Who could ever love you…?”
  • “You’re so stupid. So weak.”
  • “Just go away. I don’t want you here.”

Blackmail them

  • “Who would’ve thought a sweet thing like you would have such a secret?”
  • “I’ll tell everyone. Scream so loud the country will hear.”
  • “I have a friend with a radio station, you know. Broadcast it all over the city.”
  • “If you want this back, you’ll do whatever I say!”
  • “Be a good little slave, you don’t want your secret out, do you?”
  • “I know everything. I can ruin you.”
  • “Beg me, and I might consider keeping my mouth shut.”

Interrogate them

  • “Sing, birdie.”
  • “I know exactly how to make you talk.”
  • “You know some fascinating things, don’t you?”
  • “I’ll use your greatest weaknesses against you, and you know I know them all.”
  • “I have means of extracting information from you.”
  • “I might play with you a little longer after you’ve talked. You’re too cute.”
  • “You’re tough. But I’ll break you.”

Yell at them

  • “You idiot! You dumbass! You- you fucking moron!”
  • “You’re absolutely useless, aren’t you?!”
  • “What the fuck have you done this time!”
  • “You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”
  • “You’re not human! You’re a monster!”
  • “You’re a disgusting little rat!”
  • “You’ve fucked up for the last time!”

Physically hurt them

  • “What, can’t take a punch?”
  • “I’ll kill you!”
  • “It’s only a scratch, asshole!”
  • “Don’t move, or I’ll shoot you!”
  • “I’ll slit your damn throat!”
  • “Kiss my shoes or I’ll stomp your head in half.”
  • “I didn’t mean to draw blood, but oh well.”
  • “That’s going to bruise.”

Torture them… gently

  • “You want some of this cake? C’moooon, beg for it!”
  • “Guess what? SURPRISE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE!”
  • “Tickle-tickle-tickle! Kitchy kitchy koo!”
  • “Whaaaat? Is this yours? You can’t have it back, it’s mine now!”
  • “I’ll stop singing when hell freezes over!”
  • “Get in the locker, shorty!”
  • “Annoying? Me? Annoying?”

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

anonymous asked:

Do you have any assassin AU's?


Assassin/Spy AU


From Russia, With Thinly Veiled Hate by diogcnes, Mature, 1.2k (WIP)
“The name’s Nikiforov, Viktor Nikiforov.”
“Jesus, Viktor. Do you have to say that to every mark we meet?” James Bond AU! I can’t wait for more!!!

our doubts are traitors by astoryaboutwar, Explicit, 15k (WIP)
The powered assassins AU in which betrayal comes first, forgiveness second, and love was always somewhere in the equation. SO good!

Eros & The Playboy by Gayson, Mature, 9.6k (WIP)
Yuuri Katsuki’s alter ego was nothing like him. Eros was flexible, silent, confident, seductive, a master thief. Nobody would suspect him to be the allusive charming criminal. Not a single soul. Viktor Nikiforov was the best spy in the agency. He was a charming fellow- a playboy at heart. One of the top Agents in the CIA, he was riding on his high of life. SO GOOD SO FAR WOW!

you’ve heard this one before by AXSY, Teen, 13k (WIP)
In which Victor Nikiforov is a Man for Hire. Urban legends say that, for the right price (and sometimes just for kicks), he can single handedly pull off any job in the world. Beautiful, invincible and filthy rich. Enter Katsuki Yuuri and it all goes to shit. Hitman/Mafia AU!

Figure Skater Time - Assassination on Ice by Kagami_Sorako, Mature, 67k
When Victor breaks Yuuri’s heart he couldn’t stand up. Broken and without an idea what to do he stumbles over his old equippment from his most interesting school year. His final year at Kunugigaoka junior high school in the assassination classroom with the worlds best teacher and strongest target. This is really good!

black cat, white cat by Authoress, Mature, 11k (WIP)
In which Yuuri punches, shoots at, seduces, dances on, and in other words, falls in love with Viktor, and Viktor with him. LOVE!!

Assassin’s Tango by MEIXIU, Explicit, 29k (WIP)
They are the world’s most greatest assassins. Their identities are a secret, even from each other. One day, however, they discover that they have been assigned to kill one another and their reality comes crashing down on them both. Great fic!

these kinda wounds they last and they last by Syster, Teen, 29k
When agents of the different super secret services around the world starts going rogue, Viktor Nikiforov is tasked with finding out what’s going on. Japan, shamed by being the latest to have an agent turn traitor, sends their best, the son of legendary super spy Hiroko Katsuki, to help out. Highly recommend!

Spies on Ice: The Cold War by nuclearchinchilla, Mature, 7.1k (WIP)
“To prepare you for a honeypot operation, you must now practice seducing sensitive information out of me. If you do succeed, I would consider that very impressive.”/ “Mr Nikiforov, should you be unable to recall, you took one look at this man and defected with him, ziplining right over the Berlin wall with your dick out. I don’t think you’re qualified to make that statement.”/ “He did not have his dick out!” Thumbs up!

Love and Work by burnt_oranges, Not Rated, 6.5k
“Let me get this straight,” Victor said slowly. “You were a secret agent for the Japanese government.”
“An intelligence agent,” Yuuri corrected and then when Victor’s eyebrows started rising dangerously, he said, quickly, “But yes, that’s right.”
Victor stared at him. “But you cry at dog commercials.”
“Are the two things mutually exclusive?” Yuuri said weakly. LOVE!

Surprise

Requested By Anon

Pairings: Loki x f!Reader

Y/B/F - Your best friend


Loki has created a chatroom.

Loki has invited Y/N.

Loki: Greetings, my love. I have a surprise for you. I’m sure you’ll love it! Please wait in your room.

Y/N: Really?! Thank you! You shouldn’t have. What is it? Tell me please!

Loki: A surprise, love.

Y/N: Can’t I have a hint? Please, please, please!

Loki: Tony is going to have a fit when he sees it, that’s for sure. Ehehehehe!

Loki: I’m going to try and sneak it in. Give me 10 minutes.

Y/N: … You didn’t get me a bilgesnipe, right?

Loki: I considered it but we already have Thor, one is enough. It’s a midgardian animal however.

Y/N: DOG? CAT? BUNNY? PARROT? A STRAY CLINT?

Loki: No, my love.

Loki: At times I really do question your friendship with Barton…

Y/N: Speaking of which, he’s trying to enter the chat. What did you put the password as?

Loki: Don’t worry, he’ll never guess it.

Clint has joined the chat.

Loki: What sorcery….

Clint: Y/N WHY ARE YOU IGNORING MY TEXTS

Clint: I SENT YOU MEMES THAT I NEED YOUR APPROVAL ON

Clint: I FARMED THESE MEMES MYSELF

Clint: Get it? Because I have a farm.

Clint: You… are dating Loki?

Y/N: No! Who said that?

Loki: Er, why would you think that Y/N and I are courting?

Clint:

Clint: “My love.” A private chat. Surprises! I’m deaf not blind!

Y/N: … We’re really close friends?

Clint: YOU ONLY TALK TO Y/B/F LIKE THAT!

Loki: I’m one of Y/N’s best friends?

Clint: YOU SHUT YOUR LYING MOUTH!

Clint: I’M ONE OF Y/N’S BEST FRIENDS, YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT ONE OF THEM

Clint: Also what kind of stupid password is “LokiLaufeysonIsTheFutureAndRightfulKingOfAsgardWithHisQueenY/N”?

Y/N: Really babe, really?!

Clint: Seriously judging you, Loki.

Y/N: Of all the possible passwords!

Clint: At least add numbers to make it more challenging!

Loki: It’s a good password! Thor would never guess it!

Clint: Wait, wait, wait. We’re moving off topic. Y/N, how could you not tell me you’re dating this ice sculpture?

Y/N: I was going to! I was just waiting for the right time. Please don’t tell anyone yet! They’re not going to take it well.

Clint: You’re dating a psychopath, of course they won’t!

Loki: I’m not a psychopath, I’m a highly functioning sociopath.

Clint: Don’t taint Sherlock!

Clint: So, I’m the only one who knows about this?

Loki: Yes, thank Odin.

Clint: It would be a shame

Clint: If the others found out

Y/N: DON’T YOU DARE!

Clint: If only there were donuts to keep my mouth shut

Clint: But there aren’t any…

Clint: Maybe I’ll add the team and ask them if they have any.

Y/N: How many do you want?

Clint: A DOZEN EVERY WEEK FOR THE NEXT 3 MONTHS!

Y/N: Deal.

Y/N: Loki, love. Get Clint some donuts, please?

Loki: … Fine.

Clint: And I want to go to Asgard.

Loki: I’ll see what I can do.

Clint: I want the fancy armor too!

Loki: Of course.

Clint: And your helmet.

Loki: Absolutely not!

Clint: Let’s ask the team how they’re doing, shall we?

Y/N: I hate you.

Clint: Love you too, Y/N.

Loki: The helmet is yours but nothing else! Do we have a deal?

Clint: Deal. Remember, hurt my lovely Y/N and you will regret it!

Thor has joined the chat.

Loki: NO!

Clint: I didn’t tell him.

Thor: Brother! You are courting Lady Y/N?!

Y/N: It’s a good password, you said. Thor would never guess it, you said.

Thor: How could you keep this from me! We are family!

Thor: Did you think I would not be happy for you?

Loki: Do you approve?!

Thor: Of course I do! Lady Y/N is a wonderful person, I could think of no one else better than her for you. Hearty congratulations brother!

Loki: I am surprised… Thank you… Brother.

Thor: But Lady Y/N, I must offer my most sincere and heartfelt apologies to you as my brother is far from wonderful.

Loki: Outrageous!

Y/N: Don’t worry, Thoreo! Loki has been a marvelous boyfriend.

Clint: So far… And when he messes up, I will be there to fight him.

Loki: Why do you have a cute nickname for Thor…?

Loki: And dammit, Barton! I love Y/N. I would NEVER hurt her.

Thor: We must celebrate! I shall ask Stark to take us to one of the finest dining places on Midgard.

Y/N: THOREO NO

Loki: YOU OAF, DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE KNOW!

Thor has added Tony.

Thor:

Thor: Better now than never!

Thor has left the chat.

Loki: FOOL!

Clint: I’m still getting my donuts despite Tony knowing, right?

Tony: what

Tony: is

Tony: THIS

Loki: … A chat?

Y/N: …. Surprise!

Tony: Did you cast a spell on Y/N? Is it blackmail? Y/N you can tell me!

Y/N: Tony. I know this must be hard to accept but… Loki and I are in love.

Tony: MY ARC REACTOR HURTS! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

Y/N: He’s no longer the man who tried to take over New York and who threw you off a building. Give him a chance, please!

Loki: My love, I know that you are trying to resolve the situation, but perhaps try not to mention my past misdeeds?

Clint: Are we at the part where Tony shoots him with his little blasty things?

Tony has added Natasha, Steve, Bruce.

Clint: We’re all going to kick his ass? I’ll get my bow.

Loki: I thought you were on our side, Barton!

Clint: I still didn’t get my donuts.

Tony: Steve, do something!!

Natasha: I can’t believe I’m saying this but, I think their relationship is good.

Y/N: But Nat, you just found out?

Natasha: I’m a spy, remember?

Tony: Don’t… encourage them!

Natasha: Ever since they started dating, Loki has been nicer, more kind. Less creepy and evil. Which is really good for us.

Steve: Natasha has a point. I don’t think Loki would jeopardize his relationship with Y/N by trying to take over the world and he seems to love her a lot, I don’t think he’d do anything to hurt or upset her.

Tony: HAVE YOU PEOPLE GONE MAD?!

Clint: … Tony. I think we’ve entered an alternate dimension.

Y/N: Stevie, you’re taking this really well…

Loki: Stevie…?

Steve: Natasha told me about you and Loki as soon as you two started dating.

Clint: BUT NOT ME??????????

Y/N: Awwww you guys, you knew this whole time and didn’t make a big deal about it unlike a certain bird and billionaire here. Thank you Nat and Stevie <3

Steve: Oh I’m trying my best not to punch Loki.

Nat: Not a day goes by when I don’t want to shoot him.

Loki: I can’t blame them.

Steve: But he makes you happy.

Nat: And you make him a better person, so we grudgingly approve.

Loki: Banner, you’re more quiet than usual…

Bruce: I’m just thinking.

Loki: About?

Tony: He’s trying to think of ALL THE WAYS TO HURT YOU IF YOU HURT Y/N!

Bruce: Tony is right.

Loki: I will gladly accept becoming one with the floor if I dare hurt Y/N, which I would never.

Bruce: Excellent.

Y/N: Soooooooo, now that everyone knows, can you all leave?

Clint: NEVER!

Tony: WE WILL NEVER GIVE YOU TWO PRIVACY AFTER THIS!

Y/N: …

Y/N: Love, did you uh, manage to bring in my surprise?

Loki: Oh yes, ehehehehehehehehe.

Steve: When he laughs/types like that, it means he’s up to something bad.

Loki: I’m feeding it first and then I’ll bring it up to your room.

Tony: What surprise?

Tony: Feeding it?!

Tony: Look, we have enough strays. We took in Loki and Bucky, we can’t take in more.

Nat: What is it?

Bruce: I’m kinda curious too. Spill.

Scott has joined the chat.

Scott: WHY DOES LOKI HAVE A LEMUR

Scott: A LEMUR

Scott: LEMUR

Scott: WHY

Scott: Also, gross. Y/N, why him?

Y/N: OMG

Y/N: DARLING, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE!

Y/N: NO SERIOUSLY, I’M QUITE CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS

Loki: I remembered how after watching that movie… Madagascar? You said you thought the lemur was cute. Do you not like it?

Clint: Can I pet it?!

Tony: NO WILD ANIMALS IN ME BASE

Tony: My*

Scott: THIS LEMUR DOES NOT LIKE ME

Scott: I swear it wants to start a fight

Scott:

Scott: DO YOU THINK I’M LYING

Scott: AIFPHWEH G GNLKREG

Scott has been disconnected.

Y/N: Is he okay?!

Loki: It attacked him.

Natasha: … I’m not breaking that fight up.

Clint: Who shall come out as the victor? Scott or King Julien II?

Bruce: Probably the lemur.

Tony: I guess we can keep the lemur? Just make sure to keep it out of the lab and my room.

Tony has left the chat.

Steve: I should help Scott…

Steve has left the chat.

Loki: What shall we name him, love?

Clint: I’VE ALREADY NAMED HIM

Y/N: Clint’s name is good.

Loki: Alright, we shall name him Clint.

Y/N: No, I meant King Julien II

Loki: Ehehehe Clint it is!

Clint: .. I’m kinda touched, not gonna lie. Clint Jr. So cute.

Loki: Oh.

Bruce: So now we have a lemur, a raccoon, a hawk, an ant, two spiders, a panther and a falcon.

Bruce: … Can we get a penguin next? 

Natasha: No.

Bruce: Please?

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Clint: What a great day.

Clint has left the chat. 

Loki: Finally! I thought they’d never leave.

Y/N: If you’re done settling in Clint Jr. can you come to my room where I’ve been waiting for the past 20 minutes for you?

Loki: To thank me, I presume? ;)

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam: ewwwww.

Sam has added Bucky.

Bucky: ewwwwwww.

Loki: STOP IT, YOU IMBECILES!

Sam: OF ALL THE HUNKS ON THIS TEAM,

Bucky: YOU CHOOSE HIM?

Sam: I’m insulted, Y/N.

Bucky: If you ever break up with him Y/N, you know where to find me.

Sam: And me.

Sam has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Loki: Would you be upset if I set Clint Jr. upon them?

Y/N: Yes.

Loki: Consider it, please.

Loki: Clint Jr. has stopped his attack on the bug man. See you soon, love.

Y/N has left the chat.

Loki has left the chat.

Vision has joined the chat.

Vision:

Vision has left the chat.

Imagine accidentally punching Tom in the face being Zendaya’s favorite moment while shooting Spiderman Homecoming.


“What was my favorite moment while shooting Spiderman? Hm.” Zendaya thought for a moment before she excitedly started to squeal. “Oh! I know, I know.” Looking over at Tom, she giggled. “My all time favorite moment is when [Y/N] accidentally punched Tom in the face during one of their fight scenes. It was hilarious and he deserved it.” 

Tom scrunched up his face and glanced over at Zendaya, “What?” 

Laughing, she nodded. “Yup, that was a great day. She nailed him too.” Winking into the camera, she pointed, “It made it on the blooper reel, so watch for it.” 

Dodged Bullet

warnings: violence, blood, mentions of a panic attack

pairing: peter parker x reader

words: 2,191

request: yooo I love your Spider-Man fics and idk if youre still taking requests but… I was wondering if you would be up for a hurt/comfort prompt? I’ve read a few where the reader takes care of peter but I’d really like to see one that’s the other way around?  (ex. reader gets hurt in the crossfire of a mission, being in the wrong place at the wrong time etc.) you super don’t have to but either way your fics are rad. keep up the good word!!!

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Unpopular Hetalia Opinion: Violent RusAme

I know well RusAme is commonly known for Cold War, and often first things that come to mind when thinking about Cold War is hatred, sarcasm, and violence.

And that’s why it’s no wonder many RusAme canonverse fanfictions that’s based on history contains violence, ranging from verbal sarcasms to actual punching / shooting that’s very bloody and violent.

Seems reasonable. Cold War -> Hate and Rivalry ->  Violence. Easy to think.

But I just find it’s kind of exaggerating to “personify” Cold War as two men exchanging blows / bullets directly. Because direct combat between USA and USSR actually never officially happened. It’s more like lots of verbal threats and provoking other people to attack the other, but never directly make a move. Because making the first direct attack in the Cold War would make one of them (USA or USSR) as the “villain”.

And frankly speaking, USA and USSR were both superpower nations that were very cautious in their move, which explains why Cold War went on for decades without actually growed to the actual direct war between USA and USSR like Axis vs Allies in WW2.

True, there were few instances of indirect wars that made USA and USSR soldiers to oppose each other, but like I said before, it’s indirect as in they support opposing sides but not directly attack each other, like in Korean and Vietnam war. In other instances like Polar Bear Expedition, England tricked USA soldiers to make them end up facing Bolshevik’s soldiers which was not their original purpose being there, which made USA troops’ morale down and making it one of reasons that made the expedition failed. In short, yes they might be throwing few punches there but it’s all within indirect context like ‘you punched my friend so i’ll punch you’ or ‘sorry i was tricked by others to be here, i’m just defending myself here’ not just a mere shallow ‘you irritate me that’s why I punched you’.

So it just makes me think those over violent fighting portrayal between USA and USSR for Cold War in numerous hetalia fanworks are too exaggerating, since most of them were done in a mere shallow context of ‘you insulted me so i’ll punch you’. Lots of propaganda, threats, insults, yes. But actual direct punching / shooting until they’re badly bruised and bloody? I think that’s too unrealistic historically. Maybe a few punches here and there in the few indirect context I explained in previous paragraph but never directly.

Even in hetalia, Hima only draws Ivan and Alfred to be bickering and throwing insults / sarcasms at best, but never actually fighting by fists / guns.

They don’t even touch each other in those scenes. 

And before you drag these scenes to tell me I’m wrong that hima did portray them actually fighting:

I’m just gonna say, those are just AU and not the actual canonverse world, which doesn’t follow any historical facts at all.

Lastly, I understand that exaggeration sometimes is needed in writing fiction (even fiction that’s based on facts such as hetalia), to make the story spicier and more interesting. But still, it’s an exaggeration nonetheless and I just want that point to come across this part of fandom that loves portraying Cold War RusAme as an actual instinctive physical brawl fighting instead of intelligent calculating mind games like it actually was. 

2

They do. Usually its just Bendy, Wally has things to do, but sometimes they both do.

((also i have no idea what the ship name is, does anyone know if there is one or do I have to make something up))

Please don’t tag as kin/me - Please don’t repost to other websites - Ask Before Dubbing - Please don’t remove caption - Reblogs appreciated! <3 ✮

Dark Nights (Part 3)

Originally posted by spnfans

Summary: Dean brings the reader back to the bunker where they realize the Alphas are a much bigger problem then they thought…

Dark Nights Masterlist

Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 2,800ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Some thoughtful, protective Alpha Dean for ya…


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Captain America: Prejudiced Fans

Ok so rant post because this literally kept me up for hours last night.

Why is Tony Stark perceived as the Villain in Civil War?

There is no legitimate reason for this.

“But he made Ultron and tried to hurt Bucky!”

Ok, sit down. Let’s talk about Ultron, shall we?

If we REALLY want to discuss whose fault Ultron is, let’s go way back to this movie:

In this movie was a character called Loki, whom you may remember and might recognize as second from the left on this poster.

Loki was the main villain of the film, and Thor failed to incarcerate him at the end of the movie. Loki went on to bring the mind stone (AKA the basis for Ultron) to Earth. Therefore, it is Thor’s fault for not stopping Loki.

But let’s move on from that. Assuming that Thor couldn’t have stopped Loki, whose fault was it?

Actually, it is arguably still Thor, seeing as he brought the Tesseract back to Asgard at the end of the Avengers, but failed to grab Loki’s mind control stick on his way out the door.

Even clearing him of charges for that, we could argue that it’s Steve/Clint/Natasha’s fault, because I’m going to assume that SHIELD took the staff, and because of that, the staff found its way into Hydra’s hands.

Then we have Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Let’s pretend that Steve/Clint/Natasha DID see the staff into SHIELD custody. Apparently they weren’t concerned enough about the fact that, y’know, SHIELD was actually Hydra and therefore Hydra had the staff of mind control in their possession, which makes it their fault. At this point,  Steve/Clint/Natasha becomes Steve/Clint/Natasha/Sam.

However, this STILL isn’t the end of the story.

Somehow, Thor fails to care about any of these developments in the Dark World, so it’s back to his fault.

The entire Avenger’s cast FINALLY cares about the fact that the Staff is held by Hydra when Tony comes back on the scene (huh) at the beginning of Age of Ultron, at which point Tony goes after the Staff. However, while this is the first point at which we could reasonably claim that it is Tony’s fault, we immediately switch over to this:

In case you weren’t freaking paying attention, this is Tony seeing an alternate past where the world ended and all of his friends were dead as a result of him not doing enough.

Immediately after this we get this line:

[Pietro and Wanda watch as goes Tony grabs the scepter]
Pietro Maximoff: “We’re just gonna let them take it?”
[Wanda smiles to herself as Tony takes the scepter]

Are you really going to tell me that little smug grin doesn’t belie that she knows exactly what’s about to happen? Even if it doesn’t, I’m pretty sure she said something to the effect of, “He’ll do what he thinks he has to” or something to that effect.

Therefore it is clearly Wanda’s fault.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Tony then asks Thor for permission to monkey around with the staff, making it Thor’s fault, and then Bruce and Tony work on the staff TOGETHER, making it JOINTLY their fault when Ultron comes to life.

So great, we have now found fault in every Avenger except for Rhodey and Pietro at this point.

Except, Tony/Bruce think that Ultron failed. The second they find out that he didn’t the Avengers mobilize and come fairly close to beating Ultron. Tony can easily out-program Ultron, because we’ve seen him literally hack his own equipment while fighting numerous opponents - one on one with Ultron shouldn’t be a problem.

But these two butts show up and proceed to compromise every single Avenger except Tony and Clint.

Not only does the Witch send Natasha/Steve/Thor into visions, SHE LITERALLY MANIPULATES HULK INTO ATTACKING A WAKANDAN CITY, FORCING TONY TO END HIS ASSAULT ON ULTRON FOR THE PURPOSE OF SAVING LIVES.

Wanda and Pietro are LITERALLY FIGHTING ON ULTRON’S SIDE FOR MORE THAN HALF OF THE MOVIE. So CLEARLY the fact that Ultron makes any headway at all is at least PARTIALLY THEIR FAULT, RIGHT?

Then we get the creation of Vision, supported by Tony, Bruce, Thor, and Clint and opposed by Wanda, Steve, Pietro, and Natasha. This is in spite of the fact that literally all Tony is doing is uploading JARVIS to a body, which should be a no brainer seeing as JARVIS has been immensely helpful since literally the earliest movies of the MCU.

We finally get Vision to wake up, and, what do you know, not only is he on the Avenger’s side, HE LITERALLY IS WORTHY TO PICK UP THOR’S HAMMER.

So if anything, this sequence should doubly absolve Tony Stark of guild: The success of Vision is proof that Ultron is not a mistake but rather a flawed prototype, AND Tony has just created the only weapon that will allow the Avengers to defeat Ultron.

We’ll note that he does not receive credit for either of these points, either in the movie or in the fandom.

Now, I would like to point out in spite of everything that has just been argued that Ultron is an independent being who is making his own choices and as such is the only person who can be blamed for his actions, triply absolving Tony of guilt. The only people who can legitimately be blamed here are Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, who chose to help Ultron fight the Avengers, but they should arguably be forgiven because they help to defeat him.

If I haven’t convinced you that Tony is innocent here yet, please message me so I can block you.

Now, on to Civil War.

The entire point of this movie is Steve saying “No superhumans shouldn’t be regulated because if they are then people might get mad at Bucky,” while the entire rest of the world is saying, “Yeah, we’d like a little oversight.” Like, yes, personal freedom and standing up for your values is great and all, but SHIELD had zero oversight and look what happened there - oh, right, people died, nearly including Mr. Holier-Than-Though Rogers and his best friend (it was still a great movie…). Yes, stand for what you believe in, Steve, but accept that there are systems in place for doing that. There are reasons that everyone in the military and in the government respond to someone else and are bound by certain laws, and superhumans should be too.

THEN, Bucky comes into the picture when he’s framed for a terrorist attack.

Does Steve go to any of his allies for help? Does he have Tony Stark or Nick Fury pull strings? Does he go to the government with the information he has about Bucky’s condition and ask for help? No, no, and no.

Queue Black Panther.

Black Panther believes that Bucky killed his father, so he decides to kill Bucky. Remember that.

We get a protracted series of fight scenes wherein, regardless of whether or not they were previously criminals, Steve and Bucky become wanted criminals and get themselves arrested alongside Black Panther, then everybody else gets themselves arrested.

Let us analyse the airport fight scene.

Steve has recruited a felon, Tony has recruited a teenager, I think those evils roughly cancel each other out.

HOWEVER.

On Team Tony, four out of five individuals depend on Tony for equipment.

Spiderman we haven’t seen before, but we know that Tony redesigned his suit. In addition, assuming that this movie Spiderman accurately reflects his comic book strength (which we can assume he does, seeing as he catches the airplane loading thing), he is obviously pulling his punches.

Then we have War Machine and Black Widow.

War Machine we have seen consistently demonstrating a single difference from standard Iron Man suits: automatic firearms.

However, in this sequence, we do not see him use the shoulder cannon once and we see him use his missiles only to address the fact that Giant Man is trying to smash him with a truck.

However, we see two NEW weapons: a sonic cannon and a stun baton, both of which are shown to be nonlethal.

Black Widow we see using her signature Widow’s Bites for the first time in her six movies in the Marvel franchise - again, non-lethally disabling Black Panther.

Are you really going to tell me that this is a coincidence? The only person we see attempting to use lethal force on Team Tony is Black Panther, whom we all know respects nobody.

Now, Team Steve.

Let’s start with Scarlet Witch, the MCU’s poster child for milking her perceived innocence.

We see her attempt to crush Tony under a bunch of cars, breaking his arm. We see her throw off Vision’s aim nearly killing War Machine. She very clearly has no qualms about killing.

Hawkeye is literally using explosive arrows throughout the fight scene.

Ant-Man tears apart the internal circuitry of one of Iron Man’s arms (possibly after the arm it contained was already broken).

Falcon is literally shooting at Spiderman.

Bucky punches at Spiderman full force.

And let us not forget Steve Rogers, who literally attempts to drop an airplane loading dock on a kid:

I mean come on.

Tony is literally the only one who ISN’T letting his anger get the best of him in this scene.

Then, in case you don’t believe me, let’s jump to the final fight scene in the abandoned Hydra base, shall we?

Tony is using distinctly nonlethal force here. If his goal were to kill Bucky, I guarantee you Bucky would be dead.

However, he uses his potentially lethal weapons in a nonlethal fashion, primarily to control where Steve and Bucky can and can’t go. His laser - which, friendly reminder, is powerful enough that he had to instruct War Machine to get out of the way - was used only to interpose steel girders between himself and Captain America. His tank missile, which is one of his iconic and most terrifying weapons, merely closed a loading door. Tony is not using lethal force - the worst thing he does is destroy Bucky’s arm, which is terrible, but worst case scenario, Tony can repair it. Yes, it is inflicting pain, but it is pain that is not dissimilar to pain that Tony has gone through himself.

That, of course, doesn’t stop Steve and Bucky from very willingly shredding his armor and, y’know, leaving him stranded in Siberia or wherever the heck that base was.

Now, final point, remember Black Panther?

Black Panther (incorrectly) jumped to the conclusion that Bucky had killed his father, and tried very hard throughout the duration of the movie to kill Bucky in revenge.

Tony WATCHED on FILM as Bucky slaughtered  his parents and still showed great restraint. Did he want to hurt Bucky? Yes, very much so.

Did he want to kill Bucky? No, he did not.

This is precisely why the “But he’s my friend”/”So was I” zinger hurts so freaking much. Even in his moment of insane pain, Tony did not want to hurt Steve. Yes, he wanted to hurt Bucky, but he knew that, if he killed Bucky, he would be hurting Steve, and, as Steve’s friend, he could not conscience that decision.

I will eternally maintain that Tony is the victim of Civil War, that Steve betrayed Tony, and that Steve does not deserve Tony’s forgiveness, and nothing anybody can say will ever change my mind.