Jian Yi and Zhan Zhengxi, 50 years later

Jian Yi: Hey Zhan Xixi check out how fast I can go down this hill in a wheelchair

~more old couple headcanons~

Jian Yi: Look I got us some Viagra
Zhan Zhengxi:
Zhan Zhengxi: I will poison your medication

Jian Yi: Can you believe it’s our 50 year anniversary
Zhan Zhengxi: *tries lighting up 50 sparklers*
Jian Yi: Zhan Xixi you’re going to set the house on fire…

Jian Yi: Look at all these young whippersnappers
Zhan Zhengxi: Did you actually just call them whippersnappers
Jian Yi: Yeah I’ve always wanted to do that

Jian Yi: He princess carries me when my arthritis is bad
Zhan Zhengxi: I will stab you with this walking stick if you don’t shut it

Jian Yi: Do you remember when we were young and emotionally constipated
Zhan Zhengxi: Were you referring to your gay crisis
Jian Yi: There’s a reason why I said ‘emotionally constipated’

Jian Yi: We’ve been together 50 years and you still get embarrassed when I call you Xi?
Zhan Zhengxi: Stop it! Stop it!

Jian Yi: *humming* I can’t hear you, I’m old and deaf!
Zhan Zhengxi: *storms into bathroom*
Jian Yi: And now I’m blind

Jian Yi: *Pretends his dentures is a snapping turtle* 

Zhan Zhengxi: My tombstone will read: ‘Zhan Zhengxi, full time babysitter of Jian Yi’
Jian Yi: That would make you a pedophile
Zhan Zhengxi:
Zhan Zhengxi:
I pray death comes quickly
Jian Yi: You’re the one who comes quickly…
Zhan Zhengxi: ..I was eighteen, you bastard!


“Bet you can’t even name one romantic movie you like,“ she teased. (…) “The Empire Strikes Back,” Oliver finally declared,(…).” The Empire Strikes Back? The Star Wars movie? That’s not romantic!“ Schuyler huffed, (…). “Au contraire, my dear, it’s very romantic. The last scene, you know, when they’re about to put Han in that freezing cryogenic chamber or whatever? Remember?” Schuyler mmm-hmmmed. “And Leia leans over the ledge and says, ‘I love you.’“ "That’s cheesy, not romatic,” Schuyler argued, although she did like that part. "Let me explain. What’s romantic is what Han says back. Remember what he says to her? After she says ‘I love you’?“ Schuyler grinned. Maybe Oliver had a point. "Han says, ‘I know.’” "Exactly,“ Oliver tapped the wheel. "He doesn’t have to say anything so trite as 'I love you ’. Because that’s already understood. And that’s romantic.” (Revelations, Melissa de la Cruz)


i finished the lies of locke lamora and it was the BEST BOOK I’VE EVER READ NO EXAGGERATING every word was perfect i can’t believe it….. please read it now. please don’t die without reading it.

Ok, but imagine baby Ben toddling around the Falcon with Han and Chewie trying to catch him.
Like, he’d be like Jack Jack from The Incredibles and just start floating and moving stuff and lighting shit on fire with his mind.
And Leia just sits there sipping wine, enjoying the show because she deals with this all the time and it’s Han’s turn now.