Prince Hans

I will only accept Hans being redeemed in Frozen 2 if he’s still a douchebag.

He doesn’t want the throne, but he does stuff that pisses everyone off and has no tolerance for any of the trolls.

Like, maybe they’re stranded in a forest and Anna complains they’re hungry and Hans suggests cooking Sven.

Or if the trolls sadly get another song in the sequel, Hans begins to roll them off a cliff before they can sing.

And if Olaf hugs him, Hans looks at the camera like he’s gonna kill somebody.

Have him interrupt Anna and Kristoff kiss and complain he’s cold.

Keep the trash prince trashy, Disney.

Guess what, Frozen fandom? It’s giveaway time!

As we all know, our fandom can be a somewhat…fractious place at times.  

I’m pretty sure the negativity gets to all of us on occasion, which is why I’m hoping to counteract it with a little positivity in the form of a Frozen merchandise giveaway.  Yaaaay!

The entry period will run until Monday, June 1, 2015 at 12:00 AM EDT, at which time the first-, second- and third-prize winners will be randomly selected. The prizes are as follows:

The FIRST PLACE WINNER will receive a complete set of six Frozen tsum tsums from the Disney Store, all brand new with original tags attached:

LOOK.  LOOK AT THESE PRECIOUS SQUIDGY POTATOES.  They can’t wait for you to adopt them.  All of them are spayed/neutered and up-to-date on shots.  Most are house-trained (Sven still has the occasional accident, but Kristoff is working diligently with him) and walk well on leash.

The SECOND PLACE WINNER will receive a poster book containing 40 full-colour glossy Frozen posters (20 double-sided):

Guys, these posters are GORGEOUS.  Seriously.  In addition to individual and group pictures of the six main characters, the book includes shots of the secondary characters (namely Marshmallow, Grand Pabbie/Bulda/Cliff, Oaken, and the three Weseltonians), crystal-clear film stills, and international promotional posters.  I cannot say enough positive things about this book.  IF I CONTINUE TO TALK ABOUT THIS BOOK, I WILL SUSTAIN HEART DAMAGE AS A RESULT OF PROLONGED OVEREXCITEMENT.

Aaaanyways…

The THIRD PLACE WINNER will receive an authentic Sven vinylmation figurine, as well as a Frozen karaoke CD:

The Sven will obvs arrive out of the box, but I will include the original foil and box (smooshed for easier shipping) so you know he’s a 100% authentic, definitely-for-realsies Disney Store product.  The CD will arrive with its plastic wrapper still on, partly because I want you to know it’s brand new and partly because I hate peeling those wrappers off.  THERE ARE NO WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE THOSE FRICKIN’ THINGS.  Do you know how much fingernail damage I’ve sustained over the years as a result of trying to get those damn wrappers off?  I mean, even when the manufacturer provides one of those red peely strip thingies, it never seems to work properly for me. What’s that?  NO, I WILL NOT USE SCISSORS OR A KNIFE.  TOOLS ARE FOR THE WEAK. IF I CANNOT PEEL THE WRAPPER OFF WITH MY FINGERS, I WILL RIP IT INTO SUBMISSION WITH MY TEETH.

Wait, where was I?  Oh, yeah - the giveaway.  Here are the rules:

- You do NOT need to follow me in order to enter (although I’d love it if you did, of course!)

-You must be at least 18 years old or have parental permission to enter.

-Each like/reblog counts as one entry.  Reblog as often as you like, but please don’t spam your followers!

-This contest is open to everyone, so I WILL ship internationally!

-You must have your ask box open so I can notify you if you win. 

-That’s all I can think of for now, but I reserve the right to amend these rules (including the time and date of the draw) without notice.  However, this probably won’t happen.

One final thing: I’d like to send a big shoutout to this anon for giving me the idea to do a giveaway.  If you feel like it, please come forward and let me thank you personally!

OK, I’m done.  GOOD LUCK, MY LITTLE SANDWICHES!

“Hans can’t be redeemed, because he’s irredeemable.”

Apparently Hans is totally irredeemable? Hmmm… 

Prince Zuko (The Last Airbender): Hunted down a twelve year old with the intentions of handing him over to his murderous father. Status: Redeemed. 

Kovu (Lion King 2): Planned to infiltrate Simba’s pride with the intention of murdering Simba. Status: Redeemed. 

Eddie Brock/Venom (Spider-Man Animated Series): Became a villain to get revenge against Peter Parker/Spiderman. Responsible for traumatizing Mary Jane Watson. Status: Redeemed. 

Prince Vegeta (DragonBall Z): Murdered countless individuals across the galaxy, merely to prove he was the strongest warrior in the universe. Status: Redeemed.  

Regina Mills/Evil Queen (Once Upon A Time): Killed thousands of men women, and children, including her own father, during her reign. Its also believed that she raped The Huntsman (Sheriff Graham) Status: Redeemed. 

Darth Vader (Star Wars): Responsible for the extermination of the Jedi Order. Butchered younglings. Tortured and killed any Jedi who survived the purge. Killed any officer who failed him. Is considered the most iconic villain in film history. Status: Redeemed.

Yeah, Hans is totally irredeemable.