Asexual Awareness Week: October 23-29th Once I realized Demi-sexual, Grey-sexual, and Asexual were an actual thing, I felt such relief. There wasn’t anything “wrong” with me, despite my partners assuming there was, and getting frustrated with me. It’s just how I (and a chunk of humanity) function.
I am single and recently took myself off dating sites. I feel myself leaning towards Grey-sexual these days. It’s such a rarity to come across people who even know what that is, nevermind wanting to hook up with someone like me, but I’m finally becoming ok with that.
One of Fred’s personal projects when he and George open their shop is to finally create his line of bi joke products. It includes a powder inspired by Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder that, when thrown, creates a pink, purple, and blue cloud of smoke that allows the user to escape from biphobic people and situations. (It becomes so popular that he creates powders in as many pride colors as he can.) He also has sweets that will become near impossible to chew if the person eating them starts to say something queerphobic. And he makes ridiculous pink, blue, and purple hats that spout bi puns and proclaim their wearer’s pride at anyone they pass. These become popular at parades, and a few get confiscated by the Ministry because they were worn to muggle pride events. Muggles grew suspicious when the funny hats started giving intelligent answers to questions asked of the wearer.
He starts getting requests from his friends in the a-spec community, so he starts a line just for them. Aros love the mini “bow and aro” sets that shoot (harmless) arrows that trail green, white, grey, and black smoke. Aces love the decks of cards (nothing but aces of course) where each card can be thrown into the air and it will fold itself into an origami dragon that glides back down. During the next year’s Ace Awareness Week a student walks to the middle of the Great Hall during breakfast, yells ACES WILD, and throws the entire deck.
Fred’s favorite thing is when customers come in and tell him what shenanigans they got into with his products.
I am ×10 more scared to come out as asexual than to come out as bi, and that is really saying something.
It is because there is so little awareness, most people have never even heard of it before.
So there is a huge fear when you come out because you would have to explain yourself and what asexuality even is. And because it is so unknown, there is a huge risk that people won’t even believe it is a thing.
That is why Asexual Awareness Week is so important to me
Because I am 18 and up until last year I thought that I was a freak for not feeling the way the rest of society feels. I had no idea that I wasn’t alone. So this year I am so PROUD to be who I am, and I hope everyone else is too.
I’ll always remember the day I got up the nerve to tell my mom. To tell her I’m asexual. I remember standing in our old kitchen, it’s dark outside, my mom is standing on the other side of the island near the stove. I’ve worked myself up about it. I realise now that this was one of my first anxiety attacks, but that’s a different story. I remember my hesitation, because I had already told her that I was bisexual and she told me that you can only like one gender; I’d done more research at this point and realised I was pansexual, still unaware that I could lean more towards one gender but still be attracted to the others. And I remember standing there, tears in my eyes waiting for her to kick me out or to tell me it’s a phase because I had read so many accounts of terrible coming out stories. So I stood there and I tried to look her in the eye, couldn’t manage it, my breathing is quickening and I’m starting to think ‘maybe this is a bad idea’ and now there are tears running down my cheeks and I can’t remember the speech I had been planning out, reciting over and over for days on end. I’d grown up with my family telling me “we’ll love you no matter what” but in that moment I had my doubts. My mom demands to know why I’m crying, I hadn’t noticed until she pointed it out, so I tell her. I say “mom, I think I’m panromantic.” She gives me a blank look, says “what’s that mean?” So I explain, “it means I’m romantically attracted to all genders” She cuts me off, “there are only two genders” I have to explain that’s not true, she says “so is that different than bi?” I tell her, yes, it is different. I continue with me explanation, “it also means I don’t experience sexual attraction. I don’t crave feel the need to have sex with anyone.” And she tells me “you will. You’ll find someone one day that makes you want to.” And I’m trying to explain that’s not true, trying to explain asexual it to her and she won’t listen. She’s just standing there. A disappointed look there on her face, and I don’t know what to do. So I stand there, sobbing, wondering what’s going to happen to me, begging and pleading with my mom to please, not tell dad, so she just looks at me and shakes her head. Tells me to go on up to bed. I didn’t get a good night or an “I love you” or even, “okay, if that’s how you feel” but I also wasn’t kicked out, so, I forced myself to believe that this was a good thing, that I still had a home. I cry myself to sleep that night and the next day I get up, go about my normal business and everyone acts like nothing happened. Except I see the sidelong glances I get from both my parents and I know she’s told him. This goes on for a while and I eventually realise she doesn’t think it’s possible. Doesn’t think I can just not experience the want for sex, because sex is “normal” it’s an “important part of a relationship”. And i eventually give up my explanations and I stop trying to do anything about it. I haven’t said anything to my family about my orientations for almost 3 years because of this and I don’t plan to anytime soon. My aunt is very accepting of people and hosts fundraisers for trans surgery and attends ally meetings but I won’t talk to her about it. She thinks I’m an ally. I might tell my little cousin when he’s older, old enough to understand. But for now my family doesn’t know. My friends do, a select few of them but at least a few people know. I’m scared and I’ve been hurt and my emotional and mental health were damaged by this encounter. This lead to my best friend taking advantage of me (a story I’m not yet emotionally ready to tell). But it’s helped to make me who I am today. I’m scared and I’m damaged but I’m proud of my identity. And it may not be a great one or have a happy ending yet, but this is my coming out story and I hope to continue to work from here.