How I ended up with my bosses job.

I was working for an advertising agency, a pretty big one I had unethical manager.

Well when I started out I had a manager who was one of the most unethical managers I’ve ever dealt with. He’d order his sales reps to do things that would increase his bonuses (which are based on margins). Example say a client decided to buy product XYZ and their spend was $2,000 a month he would want the agent to put up products ABC and keep the spend at $2,000 even though the client didn’t agree to that. Fact is the clients generally wouldn’t “notice” but if they did…it could cost you your job.

I was the guy that refused his demands, he would tell me to cheat the client and I would refuse. He would get mad. I wouldn’t care.

This went on for quite awhile. Now there is something I don’t tell people very often…I live in a one party consent state which means so long as I’m aware a conversation is being recorded I can record it without informing the other party. I had just upsold my largest client making him even larger…but I didn’t sell the products my boss wanted me to sell. He demanded I switch things around…I refused. I told him I sold the client XYZ thats what we agreed to, I’m not going change that without the customer permission. His exact words were

“Fuck the customer, this is your largest client I need him on ABC or I’m not going make my number”

“I’m sorry, but you and I both know ABC isn’t right for this client and thats why he didn’t buy it”

“Your fired, if you can’t follow instructions your fired”

After confirming he was dead serious I said “If you do that, I’ll have your job by the end of the month”

I went home, I didn’t think he’d go through with it. Sure as shit next morning I’m locked out of all our systems. I call tech support and get told I’ve been fired. So who do I call?

I call our Regional Vice President and tell him I have several recordings I think he should listen to. Remember my boss ordering me to do unethical things wasn’t uncommon. So I meet up with my RVP and play 6 different recordings that I had saved showing my manager was pushing his agents to break the law.

To which my RVP leaned back in his chair, and let out a sigh knowing he had to fire my manager…having a sales manager that is forcing his reps to break the law is just bad business. At which point I asked for my job back.

He agreed that I would get my job back and asked me to take the week off and call him on Monday. He told me he’d talk to payroll and make sure I got paid for this week as well. FYI he fulfilled all of his promises with me…although I missed a payday but got back pay later so I was fine with that.

That Monday I come into our Monday morning meeting in which my RVP was there, he informed the entire team that my boss had been fired and why. He also mentioned that if anyone wanted to apply for his job there was now an opening.

So I applied for and after 3 rounds of interview got my promotion! Sure as shit I was right, I did have my bosses job by the end of the month. It was glorious the first day walking into his office and sitting in his nice big comfy chair.

There’s nothing tragic about Barbara Bush’s death.

She lived as a member of a wealthy, entitled family and died when she was 92.  Nothing tragic there.

She left college to marry a mediocre man.  They had sons who became rich thru insider trading and exploiting their father’s position of vice president.  Nothing to be proud of there.

Her son George W. started a war ending in the deaths and maiming of millions of people.  He brought a new level of organized corruption to the White House.  He won a nomination by accusing his opponent of having a Black daughter.  He won a presidency by stopping the vote counting in Florida, depriving thousands of people their rights as citizens.  Her son Jeb, as governor of Florida, wiped the voter rolls of more thousands of people, most of them minorities.  Nothing noble in any of that.

omg there’s so much here. Endless atrocities commited by the Bush family and now we’re supposed to act like she was “everybody’s grandmother?”  No. She had ice water in her veins. She raised those kids. She taught them. She applauded them.  So much tragedy but no tragedy in her dying. Nothing to be sad about there.

US Presidents As Dril Tweets
  • George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
  • James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
  • John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
  • Martin Van Buren: Food $200
  • Data $150
  • Rent $800
  • Candles $3,600
  • Utility $150
  • someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
  • John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
  • Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
  • Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
  • Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
  • Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
  • James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
  • Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
  • Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
  • Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
  • Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
  • Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
  • Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
  • Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
  • Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
  • Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
  • Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
  • Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
  • Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
  • Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
  • Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
  • George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
  • Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
  • Donald Trump: no

I’m always happy to add more in-depth Presidential biographies to my library, and it certainly can’t be said that these two new books – The Moralist: Woodrow Wilson and the World He Made (BOOK | KINDLE) by Patricia O’Toole, and President Carter: The White House Years (BOOK | KINDLE) by Stuart E. Eizenstat – aren’t significant undertakings. 

However, I’m not going to lie: reading a 1,000+ page book about Jimmy Carter (and it’s over 1,000 pages focusing exclusively on his single, four-year term!) seems like a daunting task to me. I mean no disrespect to the author because Ambassador Eizenstat clearly researched President Carter extensively, but that’s a very big book about just four years in the long life of a President who I’ve never found terribly exciting. I will try my best to read President Carter and share my thoughts eventually.

Both of these new books will be available on April 24th – The Moralist: Woodrow Wilson and the World He Made by Patricia O’Toole will be published by Simon & Schuster, and President Carter: The White House Years by Stuart E. Eizenstat will be published by Thomas Dunne Books.

The First Lady Who Wished To A Be Queen

Julia Gardiner Tyler, the twenty-four-year-old bride of John Tyler, the President of the United States, was notable for more than her age. Although she was the youngest First Lady up till then.

Julia Tyler enjoyed flaunting her new status as the premier woman of the nation, riding around Washington in a four-horse carriage, refurbishing the White House with her family’s money, and dressing the White House staff in garish new livery. And in a move that reminded too many of royalty, she had twelve ladies-in-waiting, who accompanied Julia everywhere she went. They were nicknamed the “Vestal Virgins” by a hostile press.