It’s hard to describe what you were feeling to your friends. In particular to Enzo who was you’re best friend through so many years. He never knew the empty feeling you had. It was like a dark cloud followed you everywhere you go.
What was it? Depression
You couldn’t just get rid of it with a snap, it was there and won’t go away that easily. But what was worse was that you hide something else from Enzo. You found another way to let the pain be faded. A blade, several stored in the bottom of your suitcase.
“ Hey Mama, how you feelin?” The only part Enzo knew is sometimes you’d had hard times. He understood, he was there for you to hold you up with his jokes, sitting with you in silence and just being there whenever he could.
“ I’m fine Zo..” you mumbled tying your shoe, tonight you had a match with Enzo being your partner. “ Are you lying to me princess?” Princess was a nickname he always called you because you’d smile hearing it. But not this time, it was different.
“ No..” you didn’t dare to look at him, if you did, he’d catch you. He could read you so well after the years he knows you. “ Y/N, look at me”
“ We have a match to get to Zo” brushing past him, he took a hold of your arm turning you around as his eyes roamed your face. He could see the battle you were having behind your eyes.
“ Why do you always do this? I want to help you” He stroked your arm softly letting you know he’s there for you. Nodding your head, you slipped your arm away from his grasp as you walked down the hall.
He scratched the back of his head, sighing to himself as he followed you.
Heading back to the hotel, later on the night and storming into your hotel room seeing you were bleeding from your bandage. But what you didn’t know was that Enzo has seen your bleeding arm. He was your ride to the hotel and it scared you. He doesn’t need to know.
But he saw and it terrified you to see the look on his face when he does find out.
“ Shit.. Shit..” you mumbled hearing the loud knocking. “ Y/N!I know you’re in there! Open the door. I want to help you!” His voice sounded from the other side of the door. Wide eyed, head shot up at the door. He saw it. He saw the bleeding arm. Oh shit.
Quickly putting on a new bandage, you hurried putting on a long sleeve shirt before rushing to open the door seeing a panic looking Enzo standing there. His hair was all over the place, he took it out from his pony tail, he wore a black T-shirt, his zipped up hoodie was opened, shorts and red sneakers on his feet.
He brushed past you into your room running his hand down his hair before he looked over at you.
“ Don’t lie to me when I ask you this..are you hurting yourself?” He knew.
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you looked down at the ground finding it much more interesting then looking at him. His shoes appeared in front of you, he brought your face up to meet his.
“ Talk to me..”
Tears began running down your cheeks, muffling a sob as you nodded your head. “ Show me..” He said softly, he was trying not to sound broken in front of you. The girl he has been friends for so long and the girl he loves s hurting herself and he didn’t see it. Why didn’t he see? He should of.
You lifted you’re arm for him to him to see, averting you’re gaze somewhere else. He pulled back the long sleeve shirt, gasping seeing how large the bandage was.
“ C-can I..” He didn’t even need to finish his sentence knowing what he was asking. Nodding your head, he peeled the bandage back softly. His eyes going wide seeing the large mark, it was fresh and little blood coming out of it. He put the bandage back on before lifting up your arm placing a kiss on top of the bandage.
Sniffing, you looked down, a small smile lit on your lips, “ Enzo.. I-” He shook his head before pulling you into his arms holding you as you sobbed into his chest.
After hours of him holding you, he got an idea. It wasn’t that late yet and he thought you needed this.
“ How about you and I go out for some drinks?” Lifting your head from his chest, his shirt was soaked with your tears.
“ Drinks? Sure, I’m down for that”He nodded, stepping back. “ How about I meet you in the lobby mama?”
You agreed, before he left, he made his way over to you kissing you on you’re forehead. “ Everything will be alright”
As you met him at the lobby, he was there with Carmella, Cass, Finn and Bayley, you friends.
“ There she is” Enzo wrapped his arms around you as he pulled you into his chest. “ hey”
Finn smiled at you, Bayley came over sandwiching you between her and Enzo. Gasping, you tried to say something but nothing came out. “ Let the girl breathe” Carmella notice you’re face changing to red, they both looked down at you letting you go.
“ Sorry about that”
“ It’s fine” Cass waved at you as soon as he saw you while Carmella swung her arm around your shoulder. “ How you doin?”
“ Good Good, yourself gorgeous?”
“ Awe, good to hear beautiful” She walked with you to the car which Cass was driving while you sat in the back between Enzo and Finn, Bayley was sitting on Finn’s lap. You felt squished between them, knees touching with Enzo.
“ Yer alright dere?” Finn asked, you looked over to him sending him a small smile before looking ahead.
Arriving at the bar, it had neon lights around the name of it, it was pretty big from the outside. Slipping out the car after Enzo, he let out his hand for you to take. “ Thanks”
He brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles meeting your gaze “ Come on, I promised you that drink.”
Making your way inside, you gasped seeing how big it was from the inside too. There was pool table, a bar, a karaoke stand and some tables. “ You like it?”
“ It’s nice..” Enzo grabbed your hand leading you to the table. “ Sit, I’ll get drinks”
You slide inside sitting next to Bayley who smiled at you widely. “ So what’s been going on?” shrugging, you didn’t really want to talk anyone but kept a small smile on your face to convince everyone you were doing okay. Which was a lie. You were fighting inside and dealign with it was hard on your own.
Enzo came back with the drinks, setting them down before he sat down next to you. Looking at the glass, the liquid inside before picking up the glass. Enzo already downed his, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He looked over seeing you still not drinking.
“ What’s the matter?” His eyebrows scrunched together as he placed his hand on your knee. His touch send shivers up your spine. Raising your head to meet his gaze, you shrugged before looking at the people around.
He nudged your shoulder with his, “ Drink up.”
Picking up the glass, you down it all in one go not noticing everyone was looking at you with worry in their eyes. “ Are you okay Y/N?” Carmella asked sitting opposite of you with Cass by her side.
“ I’m good” she nodded her head but didn’t really believe you but didn’t say anything about it. Enzo looked around when he spotted the karaoke machine, his lips lit up in a huge smile. He was going to get you to relax first before forming his plan.
He slide over his drinks your way, “ are you trying to get me drunk Amore?” He chuckled. “ I want you to relax..” He leaned down whispering next to your ear “ I want you to forget whatever is bothering you right now.”
Looking over to him, he smiled at you placing his hand on top of yours. If anyone looked at you, they think that you two were a couple. But Enzo was just your best friend, but your heart told you another. He would never want a women like you, struggling through her life with depression and self harm.
Maybe he was doing this out of pity. You hated when people looked at you like they were sorry for you.
As the night went on, you were more relaxed. Laughing and smiling with your friends. Enzo missed this side of you, he wanted to see you happy. He wanted to see the women he fell for be happy. He wanted to be the reason for your happiness.
“ Come on..” Enzo let you out of your seat. Giggling, you went along stumbling in your step. “ What are we doing pretty boy?”
He left you on the side as he rushed over getting a mic, he becked you over. Giggling, stumbling on stage. He handed you a mic which you dropped making a loud sound. Everyone got quite in the bar, looking over at you.
Blushing, you picked up the mic feeling embarrassed that you made a fool out of yourself. “ Enzo.. what are you doing..” whispering as you eyed the crowd.
“ Hello.. hello..” he spoke into the mic. It was working. “ My name is Enzo Amore, I am a certified G and a bonified stud and you can’t teach that and this right here is Y/N” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, “ She’s drunk as hell but were going to sing for you.”
“ what are we signing stud?”
He smirked searching through the songs, he knew which song you loved from one of our favorite movies. “ Were signing, you’re the only one that I want”
Gasping, you clapped your hands. You knew this song by heart, seeing you happy like this brought happiness to Enzo. He was glad he was making your night.
“ I got chills, they’re multiplyin’, and I’m losin’ control. 'Cause the power you’re supplyin’, it's electrifying'” He started to sing coming closer to you grabbing your hand.
“ You better shape up, ‘cause I need a man, and my heart is set on you. You better shape up, you better understand, to my heart I must be true” making your way around him singing bumping your hips with his.
“ Nothing left, nothing left for me to do You’re the one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey. The one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh, honey.The one that I want (you are the one I want), ooh ooh ooh The one I need (the one I need), oh yes indeed (yes indeed)”
The two of you jumped from the stage chasing each other through the song even going to your table swinging you arm around Bayley who sang with while Enzo was with Cass and Finn singing with them. They all joined to dance with you while you sang the song with Enzo. You were having such a good time, you felt like nothing could go wrong.
The rest of the night was one blur until you reached your hotel room, standing outside with Enzo as he bite on his inside cheek. He didn’t want to go yet and didn’t want you to be alone.
“ Do you want me to stay the night sugar bear?’” Sugar bear was a nickname he rarely used. This brought a surprise to you. “ I would like that”
You sobered up, putting the card into the door as it turned green opening the door Enzo stepped behind you closing the door and locking it before he turned to you. He watched you as you walked to your bed sitting down on it.
“ Thank you for tonight, I had so much fun…” Looking down at your hands, everything was going to go back. It was quite before Enzo took a hold of your hands in his. He was kneeling on the ground in front of you looking up at you.
Reaching with one hand, he stroked your cheek. “ What’s the matter sugar?”
“ I don’t want to go back to feeling like… I’m empty..”
“ You don’t have to. Listen, why don’t I make you feel good tonight. I want to make you feel like a queen. Please?”
Nodding your head, “ Okay…” You didn’t know what he meant by that but you liked being around him. He made you feel safe and good about yourself. He kissed your knee, spreading your legs as his other hand inched it’s way up your dress as did his lips.
“ E-enzo..” you gasped grabbing onto his soft hair, running your fingers through it. “ Shh baby girl.. let me do this..” Leaning back on the bed, you trusted him. But this was new to you. Enzo was your best friend and you didn’t want to lose him so you went along with it.
His lips inched closer to you core, he growled out seeing you not wearing any panties. “ Bad girl..” He mumbled against your thigh kissing it. His eyes met yours, they held lust and love in them.
His tongue met your core, licking your slit. “ O-oh..” gasping as you grabbed onto the sheets. He was licking, sucking and using his tongue like it was a magical tongue making you feel things you never felt before.
“ I-I’m going to-”
“ Come for me baby girl” He replaced his tongue with his finger thrusting in and out then adding another as he felt you becoming closer. You moaned out, arching your back as you exploded onto his fingers.
Blushing, you looked down seeing him licking the juice off his fingers.
“ You taste amazing sugar” He crawled his way on top of you seeing your blushing cheeks. He chuckled, “ No need to be embarrassed. Tonight is all for you.”
Leaning up, you captured his lips with your wrapping your arms around his neck pulling his weight down on you. You loved it, feeling him. He was hard for you, you felt it against your stomach. One hand raked down his spine, making hims shiver. His lips went down to your jaw, placing a kiss there to your neck placing kisses there before going to your collarbone kissing there and biting.
Moaning his name softly,he grabbed onto the dress slipping it off. He groaned seeing you weren’t wearing a bra either. “ You wanted to kill me tonight..”
Giggling you reached for his belt on his pants but he brushed your hands away. “ I told you tonight is your night baby girl. Let me do the work.”
“ But I want to please you too.”
“ There will be time for that”
He slipped off his jeans and his boxers, your eyes going wide seeing how big he was. Was he going to fit in you?
“ It will fit don’t worry” He kissed your nose before leaning down kissing your lips as he lined himself with you. “ Ready?” you nodded before he pushed himself in you.
You gasped, it has been a long time since you’ve been intimate with someone. Tears streamed down your cheeks, this wasn’t your first time but it still hurts because you haven’t had sex in a long time.
“ I’m sorry baby girl..” He kissed your cheeks, he hated seeing you cry or hurt. “ I-it’s okay..” He pushed himself in you, now fully in you. Grasping onto his bicep, the feeling in your stomach turning.
“ Move..you can move..” He slightly moved, slowly seeing your reaction. Wrapping your legs around his waist, “ Go faster..” you moaned out arching your back. His chest against yours. He buried his face into your neck, wrapping your arms around him. One hand in his hair while the other digging your nails into his back.
He thrusted deeper inside you, panting into your neck. Hovering over you, he brought his face up to look down at you. Watching you as he thrusted faster and harder.
You’re stomach was turning into knots, familiar feeling as you were coming closer. “ I-I’m coming..”
He thrusted faster, becoming sloppier as he was coming closer too. “ Me too sugar..”
He climaxed with you following him before he collapsed onto you, softly not to hurt you. Panting and hold him, catching your breath.
“ That was amazing..”
“ It was..” He picked himself up looking at you, seeing the sweat on your forehead, your hair in the way. He brushed it aside leaning down kissing your nose.
“ You’re perfect. I want to be the one to fix you. To be your glue. To be your sun. To be your home. I love you. “
Searching through his eyes to see if he was lying or not. He wasn’t. He did love you and cared about you more than anything he ever loved.
“ I love you too and yes, I want you to be my everything”