Back in my college days, I lived on campus and ate the 20-meals-a-week meal plan at the cafeteria. It was… terrible. Seriously. I know people complain about their college cafeteria all the time, but they still gain their “freshman 15”. I lost mine. The food was disgusting. Sunday spaghetti was made from tomato sauce and Saturday’s cheap hamburgers. One week they didn’t bother ripping up the hamburgers: watery, sauce-tinted, overcooked noodles garnished with dry, leathery, two-day-old hamburger patties. It was still better than the other options. At first, they had a “make your own pizza” line, but removed it because everyone was using it, and “bread isn’t cheap.” I remember seeing a real salad in their “healthy eats” line and getting excited, because it’s hard to screw up salads, only to realize that it was literally floating in oil. The salad on the actual salad bar was not an option; it was changed out every morning, whether it needed it or not. Oh, sorry, I meant the ice in the salad bar. Not the salad, no. A student wrote his initials in the tuna and it remained for a solid week. Sometimes the salad would grow its own salad.
They had a big board set up for student complaints, and they would write responses back. Oddly enough, the board rarely had bad things to say; the manager, may he be haunted by a thousand bedbugs, confessed that he didn’t have time to answer every complaint, but he did read every one, and took the complaints into consideration. And, as far as we could tell, threw away all the ones he didn’t like.
When One Direction adds in these ambient studio sounds– the insider musician chatter in “Olivia,” the scratching of a pencil in “I Want to Write You a Song,” the fans in “History,” the purpose is to add an illusion of authenticity. The illusion gets fans closer to being in a live experience, a folk music, intimate, small venue, acoustic experience.
It is musical gesture– a way for the band to evolve away from pre-packaged, cookie-cutter boyband pop songs and closer to music they would prefer to make, closer to what they personally like to listen to. They are striving for the authenticity of making “real music,” not the typical boy band, “bland-as-fuck” (Zayn’s words) pop music.
This question of authenticity is a complex one. As consumers, we know that what we consume has a veneer of artifice. We know that voices are auto-tuned and distorted by reverb. We know that 1D songs go through a production process that transforms the raw material into the polished radio hits.
We like to listen to professionally produced music. And that’s okay.
But as Scott’s thesis argues, this question of authenticity goes to the very heart of the question of One Direction.
Selling authenticity of music is a way of selling an authentic fandom experience– the same way that @Louis_Tomlinson seems authentic when he tweets that Pizza Hut should DM him, as if this is Louis Tomlinson charmingly asking for a pizza, rather than Louis Tomlinson™ being paid to endorse Pizza Hut. The lines of authenticity are being blurred without informing the audience.
It isn’t as clear-cut as seeing a celebrity sell perfume in a magazine ad. In the same way, any fashion endorsement, interview, or brand ambassadorship through SM or pap photos strives to seem authentic. It is reflective of the huge confluence of social media and product placement in our culture. It’s the reason for Zigi.
One of the boys said in an interview once– “pressured by the modern age.” This is how modern advertisement works.
But, I mean, they’re just songs. Why get so worked up about them? Do they really have to do with all this– other stuff?
The reason it’s different for One Direction is that inauthenticity, sold as authenticity, is the badge and pride of 1DHQ. It is their modus operandi.
They hold contests to meet band members or go to special listening sessions in which the winners have already been pre-determined– and it’s rarely the casual fan without insider connections. I, and people I know, would have loved going to the London sessions. But I knew that would never have been a possibility. It’s always the people in service of 1DHQ.
This philosophy is what allows stalkers to appear as lucky fans who bump into the boys “by chance,” and allows these stalkers access to the boys time and again, often without security.
Inauthenticity as authenticity as a philosophy is extended to selling a band member’s image TO THE BAND MEMBER’S DETRIMENT. Just look at Louis Tomlinson’s representation with the James Grant Group since January 1st.
There are so many layers of inauthenticity there, that it’s both embarrassingly hilarious and inhumanely immoral.
Inauthenticity sold as authenticity is a way to double back at fans who point this out, to target and invalidate fan theories by calling them crazy, conspiratorial. By having “authentic” band member interviews (Liam Attitude interview, Zayn Fader) stating as much. By having “authentic” band members tweet angry diatribes to fans (Louis Bullshit 1.0, 2.0).
So to your question of whether these ambient noises do anything for me, I would say, yes, on the surface, they’re incredibly charming. They give off a hipster-ish vibe. I love hearing Harry’s and Louis’s voices in Olivia. The pencil scratching in IWTWYAS is a bit cheesy but ok. The fans in History are lovely.
Other musicians include ambient noises on their discography to sound authentic. At the end of Carlie Rae Jepsen’s “Let’s Get Lost,” you can hear this incredibly charming, haunting sound of a dog howling, synthesizers and percussions dying away as if the music itself is being disassembled, put away. Another example would be the weird but lovely oscilloscope sound in Wilco’s “I am trying to break your heart.”
Will there ever be a time when authenticity for 1D is, well, authentic?
It’s like a little ink seeping into water. The water can never be clear again. It can only get clearer if diluted by a lot more clear water. Honesty is a difficult thing to reclaim.
Generally I love a little fun and games in music– and actually love all sorts of ambient noises being incorporated into music. But as usual with One Direction— it gets me thinking.
Prompts inspired by actual college experiences I’ve had.
-were roommates and i saw you shaving your legs on top of my desk and ‘NO I’m nOT staring’ but holy hell your legs are fine
-We share a major and a few classes so we started talking and I accidentally spilled the beans about my horrible love life so now you’ve made it your mission to get me a date but you got so angry that no one was interested in me so you stepped in as my date yourself
-the classic ‘reach for the last piece of pizza in the lunch line at the same time and our eyes meet’ except I’m a glutton and ready to fite you for that pizza
-I’m walking home from a late night class when I eat shit on the ice and shout 'fUCK mE’ but your dorm window is open so you shout back 'when and where?’ And what why thE HELL DID YOU HANG OUT YOUR WINDOW TO SHOUT THAT?!
-we met at a college party blackout drunk but hey we hold each other’s hair back during the hangover so maybe we’ll work out
-'how you doin’ said lazily across the lounge during a movie night
-you’re the hot kid in the dorm across the hall from me and I’m super fricken shy but you always give me a smile when we pass each other and 'omG YOUre standing at my door asking for my number WhAT?!
-were both teachers of the same major but have very different opinions on how it should be taught and who the most important authors/researchers/artists in that field are. And now our students have gathered in the common green to watch us debate the fuck outta this once and for all (bonus points if one of them ends the debate by asking the other out) (double bonus points if they only say yes AFTER the students/other teacher dares them and bet money that they wouldn’t)
-we live on the same floor and I always seem to run into you when you’re in a towel coming out of the shower. We’ve never said anything about it until I come by with a tour I’m leading and when you see me you just shout 'SERIOUSLY?! Now you’re just doing this on purpose!’
-so you’re a senior in the dorm next to mine and I always here you screaming about some assignment that will be the end of your career as you know it. When your roommate started leaving the room during these episodes I knocked on the door with a mug of coffee/hot cocoa and I’ve never see someone cry so much over a hot beverage are you ok??
-I swear I’m not high I just like staring at the sky and speaking philosophy leave me alone.” “Bummer now who’s gonna smoke this pot with me?” “I never said I didnt smoke. Gimme the joint”
I WAS IN THE PIZZA LINE AT LUNCH TODAY AND THE LUNCH LADY ASKED ME “HOW ARE YOU” AND I RESPONDED WITH “CHEESE” BECAUSE I WAS PREPARED TO TELL HER WHAT KIND OF PIZZA I WANTED AND NOW I CAN’T BUY PIZZA AT SCHOOL AGAIN EVER OMG
Request: Could you please do a jack one where you’re in the early stages of a relationship and it’s the first time you stay over at his house but it’s not smutty or anything, just like a cute fun sleepover and you both realise you’re in love with eachother
Requests are OPEN!
A/N: So I decided to try out third person in this imagine so let me know what you think. If you like it, maybe I’ll do more but if you don’t, then I won’t :)
Falling in love was something (y/n) only dreamed about. She didn’t understand why it was so hard for her to find someone she could see herself with for the rest of her life. She wanted the fairy-tale ending but finding her Prince Charming was taking more time than she thought it would. She spent time after time getting to know boys who were no good for her. The bad boy. That’s who she looked for but eventually, she knew she wouldn’t find the love she wanted by going after boys who didn’t care. But then it happened. Jack Maynard.
He was everything she never knew she wanted. He was sweet, caring, funny, adorable, motivating, supportive…every good characteristic in the book. And she was sure this time was going to be different. He was going to matter.
“So I ordered some pizza for dinner, lined up some movies on Netflix and made the couch a little more comfy.” Jack said, taking her bag from her hand.
One month into their relationship and this was the first night they would spend together. They had been planning this night for the past week and although she was nervous, (y/n) couldn’t wait for it. No, they hadn’t done anything more than kiss but Jack didn’t seem to mind. He never forced anything on her and never asked for more. He let things take their own course and allowed things to happen in their own time. That was one of her favourite things about him; he was respectful.
A couple of hours later and the two were on their third movie. They had blown through the pizza and were now cuddled up on the couch, snacking on anything they could get their hands on. Jack’s arms were around her waist as she sat in between his legs with the blanket over top of them. It was close to two in the morning and (y/n) could feel the life draining from her. She was about to crash.
“We should probably head to bed.” Jack said, pausing the movie and releasing his hands from her waist.
“Which side?” She asked, entering the bedroom. She had already changed into comfy clothes so she was ready to just fall into bed.
“You pick.” He replied. He never really slept on just one side, he usually slept in the middle but he wanted her to be as comfy as possible.
(y/n) climbed into bed and laid down on the right side. She watched as Jack searched through his dresser for a different shirt and headed towards the door.
“You don’t have to leave…it’s okay…” She said, referring to him needing to change.
Sure, most guys would have just changed there but Jack wanted her to feel as normal as possible so he was willing to do anything to help her. Jack reached behind him, pulling his shirt over his head and putting the other one on.
“Wow, my bed is a whole lot comfier with you in it.” He said, climbing into bed beside her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
One month into their relationship and (y/n) could feel it. That feeling she never thought she’d find. One month into their relationship and (y/n) could see it. The future she never thought she’d have. Day by day she was slowly falling in love with Jack Maynard and she was totally okay with it.
Pietro Coming Home From a Mission and Pietro Can’t Find You- X Pretending You’re Going on a Blind Date to get Pietro Jealous- X Talking About How You’re Going to Announce You’re Going to be Parents- X Annoying Pietro With Emojis- X Pietro’s Keyboard Getting Stuck On Romanian- X Trying to Shut Down Pietro’s Flirting- X Pietro Being Shocked By Your Powers- X Wanda Telling Pietro Your Feelings For Him- X Steve Giving Pietro Your Number After You Save Pietro- X Pietro Confessing His Love After You Keep Putting Yourself in Danger- X Asking Steve On Advice to Tell Pietro You Like Him and Pietro Answers- X Pietro Switching His and Wanda’s Contact Names- X Pietro Tries to Use Emojis to Tell You How He Feels- X Giving Pietro the Silent Treatment- X Pietro Being Jealous of Your Relationship With Bucky- X Pietro Texting You After You Die- X Pietro Thinking You’re Cheating- X Pietro Cheering You Up- X Pietro Bribing You to Hang Out With Him- X Pietro Confessing His Love to You- X Getting Jealous That Pietro is Flirting With Other People- X Pietro Sending Random Stuff to Get Your Attention- X Having a Pepe War With Pietro- X Telling Pietro Your Water Broke- X Pietro Confessing His Love For You After a Mission- X Pietro Sending Pickup Lines- X Getting Pizza at 3AM with Pietro- X Pietro Bothering You While You’re Doing Schoolwork- X Getting Your Period When You’re Supposed to Go Out With Pietro- X Asking Pietro Permission to Date Wanda (1)- X (2)- X Pietro Texting You During a Mission (Part 1)- X (Part 2)- X Teasing Pietro At a Party- X
Wanda Accidently Yelling at Wanda Instead of Pietro- X Pietro is “dead” and Wanda Asks If You’re OK (Part 1)- X (Part 2)- X (Part 3)- X Wanda Sending You Cheesy Pickup Lines- X Wanda Reading Your Mind- X
Thor Thor Struggling with Emojis- X Helping Thor Discover Emojis- X Thor Getting Jealous When You Hang Out With Loki- X Using Emojis With Thor- X
Thor&Loki Thor and Loki Fight Over You But You Like Them Both- X
Steve Asking Steve to Help Relieve Some Stress- X Steve Texting Natasha When You Won’t Answer on a Mission- X Steve “Looses” You in Wal-Mart- X Steve Getting Worried When You’re Caught in a Shooting Situation- X Steve Admitting He Likes You- X Steve Not Being Able To Find You Because You’re Getting High- X Your Dad (Steve) Not Being Able to Find You- X Steve Getting Worried Since He Hasn’t Heard From You- X Steve Getting Jealous of Tony- X Steve Helping You Calm Down- X Giving Steve the Silent Treatment- X Steve Helping You Get Over Drinking But You Get Drunk- X Sending Steve the Lyrics to the Captain America Cartoon Theme- X Hiding From Steve and His Cuddles- X Steve Gets Flirty- X Sassing Steve- X Steve Confessing His Love For You- X Tony Steals Your Phone and Texts Steve (Your Boyfriend)- X Things Being Awkward After You and Steve Kiss- X Texting Steve About Him Being a Virgin- X Trying to Be Cute With Steve- X Steve Comforting You During a Thunderstorm- X Sending Steve a Goodbye Message Because You’re Dying- X Steve Getting Jealous of Pietro- X Steve Getting a Boner at a Party- X Nat Texting Steve When You Go Missing on a Mission- X Steve Cheering You Up When You Feel Bad About Yourself- X Having a Simple Convo With Steve- X Steve Having a Crush on You(Tony’s Sister) and Asking About Your Powers- X Steve Comforting You When Bucky Upsets You- X Steve Getting Upset When He Learns Your Boyfriend is Abusive- X Asking Steve Advice About a Dress- X Steve Bringing Home Puppies- X Steve Buying You Things When You’re On Your Period- X Steve Feeling Guilty and Asking You to Forgive Him- X Steve Confessing His Love Through Acronyms- X Asking Steve For Help With History Homework- X Steve Comforting You After a Family Member Dies- X
Clint Clint Telling You He Likes You- X Clint Texting You After You’ve Been Feeling Bad About Yourself- X Laura Thinking Clint is Cheating On Her With Nat- X Getting Jealous that Clint is Always With Nat- X Clint Asking You to Join His Archery Club- X Clint Watching You From the Air Vents- X “Accidently” Texting Clint- X
Bucky Bucky Gets Jealous- X Bucky Looses Something Important of Yours- X Nat Setting You and Bucky Up On a Blind Date- X Calling Bucky “Boobchanan” Which Annoys Him- X Accidently Texting Bucky Instead of Nat- X Trying to Cheer Bucky Up- X Texting a Drunk Bucky- X Texting Bucky When You’re Bored- X Bucky Finding Out You Like Him When Tony Changes Your Contact Names- X Texting Bucky That You’ve Gone Into Labor- X Bucky Asking You to Come Home While You’re At Wanda’s- X Bucky Comforting You After Your Dad Dies- X Bucky Asking For Advice- X Bucky Admitting He Likes You When You Breakup With Your Boyfriend- X Bucky Saying How Smart You Are When You Pass an Exam- X Bucky Having a Nightmare and Needing to Make Sure You’re OK- X Asking Bucky to Cut His Hair- X Bucky Getting Jealous and Confessing His Feelings For You- X Bucky Confessing His Feelings After You Breakup With Your Boyfriend- X Having a Secret Relationship With Bucky- X Sending Bucky an Emoji Story- X Bucky Awkwardly Confessing His Love- X Bucky Helping You When You Feel Insecure- X Accidently Sending Bucky a Picture You Drew of Him- X Texting Bucky During School (Part 1)- X (Part 2)- X
Bruce Bruce Noticing You Working and You Asking Him to Help- X Asking Bruce If He Likes You After Something Tony Says- X Texting After a Nightmare- X Bruce Staying Late in the Lab- X Bruce Flirting and Asking You Out- X Bruce Getting Jealous of Tony- X Cuddling With the Hulk- X
Natasha Telling Nat You Like Steve- X Nat Encouraging You to Tell Wanda How You Feel About Her- X Nat Texting You After You Die- X Nat Thinking You Like Tony When Really You Like Her- X Nat Tries to Make Cookies- X
Tony Tony Messaging You Until You Leave Your Room- X Surprising Tony With Random Knowledge- X Tony Getting Jealous When You Make Your Own Suit- X Wanting to Be Tony’s Sidekick and Him Giving You a Hard Time- X Tony Teasing You About Your Contact Names- X Being Worried About Your Dad (Tony) While On a Mission- X Having an Accident in Tony’s Lab- X Asking Which Liquor to Buy- X Your Water Breaking While Tony is on a Mission- X Tony Confessing He Loves You- X Tony Texting You After You Die- X Tony Confessing His Love After You Almost Die- X Asking Tony on a Date- X Tony Checking Up On You When You’re Sick- X Drunk Texting Tony- X
Loki Loki Telling You He Loves You Before You Go Into Surgery- X Dating Thor but Being in Love With Loki- X Loki Flirting With You- X Loki Sweeping You Off Your Feet- X Loki Being Stuck in the Tower With Tony While You’re Away- X Telling Loki You’re Pregnant but He Thinks You’re Joking- X Finding Out Loki is Alive- X Loki Confessing His Love- X Fighting With Loki- X
Wanda&Nat Planning a Girls’ Night With Nat and Wanda- X
Pietro&Wanda Getting in a Fight With Pietro and Wanda Telling You How Upset He Is- X Being Bisexual and Having To Choose a Maximoff- X Wanda and Pietro Only Texting in Romanian to Confuse You- X Having a Love/Hate Relationship With Pietro- X
Steve&Bucky Telling Steve You Like Bucky So He Tells Bucky to Make a Move- X Having Two Personalities: One Flirts with Steve, the Other With Bucky- X Bucky and Steve Finding Out You’ve Been Flirting With Both of Them- X Telling Bucky You Like Steve So Bucky Tells Steve to Make a Move- X Bucky Asking Steve What He Should Do About His Crush On You- X
Bucky&Nat Nat Pointing Out You Call Bucky “James” So You Ask Him If It’s Weird- X You and Bucky Pretend to Hate Each Other but Really Love Each Other- X
Steve&Tony Steve Trying to Be Serious but You and Tony Sending Him the National Anthem- X Tony Teases Steve and Telling Steve You Like Him- X Steve Asking Tony (Your Best Friend) If He Should Ask You Out- X Tony Setting Steve Up on a Date- X
All of the Avengers Having a Meme War With the Avengers- X
Vision Vision Liking to See You Blush- X Asking Vision For Cuddles on a Bad Day- X Vision Asking For Help When Thor Brings Cats to the Tower- X
I apologise profusely to all for my most inconsiderate behaviour last night for that absolutely unpardonable Blog of DAY 3298 ! When I look back at it, in the morning of today, I am filled with immense embarrassment and deep regret .. do give me compassion and pardon !!
If I can have the patience and strength to sit through medication and medical consult with practitioners .. watch the LaLiga Derby of the giants Atletico & Real at play .. 2 IPL games of Gujarat and Bengaluru and Pune and Delhi .. and cheer the victory of Chelsea over Bournemouth in the Premier league .. I really should have had the nerve and happy intent of expressing my daily conversation with my Ef on the Blog ..
BUT .. i did not .. and I slap myself for it !!
I am so sorry .. do forgive me !!
Another day dawns .. you arise with the lost memories of all the dreams that you encountered during the night, as you shifted and shuttled between pillows and positions to find a suitable angle to rest the excruciating pain of the neck !
There are the usual normal deeds to conform to thereafter, the shutting off the conditioning, the pulling of the curtains, the checks of messages on the mobile, the splash of the cool tap water on the face, now occupied with extensive fungi, parting a few shutters to allow the Sun Gods to enter our hearts and minds .. and then settling down at the desk to discover the blunder that faces me as I punch in the lines here …
So a medical call up : the stomach infection and the chilli lined Pizza consumption cause, and the accompanying fever has settled and normal ..the neck though is a bother and is under medical consultation .. a new patch has been pasted on to the body, the size of a postage stamp, which is supposed to show results in 48 hrs .. standard waiting period, often and so often heard. In short it shall take a while before any results can be expected .. the story of the life of any human undergoing medical treatment .. !!
I think it is standard medical practitioner ethics - start from the least intrusive medication, and move to the next step if the previous fails, and the next and the next .. it gives them the options .. for if they use up the last one first, they are left with none .. simple but very valuable practices .. admired and appreciated !
Morning routines also invite the staff to walk in with breakfast … normal .. lunch is a joint venture as is dinner if all are in .. standard domestic musts .. among many others .. followed and happily conformed with ..
Ok .. so enough of domesticity and medical histrionics .. down to the connect ..
Thank you all ever so much for all the greetings for Jaya today .. they have all been conveyed and thanked in return .. love and blessings to all ..
Have a pleasant day and days ahead .. and yes .. SORRY !!
Hi everyone! Here we go with the first compilation of 2017, hoping you can laugh a little with these. In this compilation we gathered scenarios that we think are funny, so we hope these make you smile.
Also, the ones with a ♥ are some of our favorites, those make us laugh every single time.
Daddy Issues ♥: Jin is terrified to meet your parents, luckily for him he has his friends to give him good advice, only that those don’t seem to work when he finally meets your dad. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Lovely Mishaps: You are newlyweds so you decide to cook him your first meal, you aren’t really a good cook but Jin isn’t one to refuse your food. Genre: Romance / Comedy.
Follow Me Down: Seokjin’s takes you to ski resort but you suck at, you feel a little better later when you discover he isn’t any better. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
In Bloom: You own a flower shop, Yoongi comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?” Genre: Fluff / Friendship.
Hands Off: When a big bug appears you jump to Hoseok’s lap, Yoongi isn’t happy. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Playmates: Yoongi takes his two kids to the studio with him while you are at work, the six uncles are more than happy with the visit. Genre: Fluff / Friendship.
All To Himself ♥: Making pizza with the maknae line and having a jealous Yoongi around proves to be the recipe for disaster. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Say it Out Loud: You go out with Yoongi and the maknae line to eat ice cream, when the three notice your crush for Yoongi they start to tease you until Yoongi makes them silent with a sudden confession. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Slippery: You are best friends but have a secret crush on each other, when Hoseok goes to your house he discovers you have a snake as a pet. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Now You See Me: You are a magician in Star King, Hoseok has a big crush on you, even if you try some scary tricks. Genre: Fluff.
Rather Mysterious: Hoseok overhears you saying you like mysterious guys so he decided to start acting like that to like you more. Genre: Fluff /Comedy.
Berry Kissmass ♥: Christmas themed scenario. You are holding a kissing booth and Namjoon is freaking out. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Parental Control: Namjoon goes to meet your parents for the first time. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
A Little Too Friendly: Namjoon gets overprotective when his little sister, you, goes to the dorm to meet BTS. Genre: Fluff / Friendship.
Sneaky Hand: Jimin gets jealous when one of his members accidentally slaps your butt.
Variety Games: You two are idols and go to Weekly Idol together. Yes, you get to slap Jimin’s butt. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Two For Mischief ♥: Taehyung and Jimin are in charge of taking care of Jungkook’s son Junho, the little boy learns a bad word from them and then says in front of his father, when Jungkook hears him he knows who are to blame. Genre: Comedy / Friendship.
Three For Mischief ♥: Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok are left in Yoongi’s house to take care of his two sons, disaster erupts when each of them try their best to become the best Yoongi copy cat, Yoongi isn’t happy when he catches them red handed. Genre: Comedy / Friendship.
Twice The Problem: Jimin and Jungkook have a crush on you, when both of them confess you realize you have a bit of a problem in your hands. Genre: Comedy / Friendship.
Jingle Bell Love: Christmas themed scenario. In which Taehyung wants you to hear his singing voice but it backfires him every time, you think he’s playing you but a little christmas pinch makes the two of you come together. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
War of Hormones: Taehyung has the biggest crush on you, every time he sees you his body and mind go crazy, more over when he starts to suspect you like Yoongi. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Pregnancy Perks ♥: You are pregnant when you go visit your husband Taehyung backstage, only to see him cheerfully talking with his ex. A hormonal disaster erupts and the boys try to comfort you. Genre: Fluff / Comedy
Play Pretend: You ask Jungkook to play as your boyfriend in a family holiday party so they stop harassing you about having a boyfriend. Genre: Fluff / Romance.
Hangul Disaster ♥: When you nail your hangul test you start bragging about how much you know about the korean language, your prankster boyfriend Jungkook change your phone settings to hangul to see if you really know as much as you say you do. Genre: Fluff / Comedy.
Not What You Think ♥: Jungkook and you are inside his room making some strange noises, the rest of BTS can’t help but think their maknae isn’t innocent anymore. Genre: Comedy / Friendship.
Pay hated his birthday more than he hated himself.
His birthday marked the day he was born, and from the day he was born, alongside Patryk, it seemed he was born to be the shadow of his brother.
Everything Pay did, everything he tried to be was upstaged by Patryk, stupid, perfect Patryk who got straight A’s and won first place trophies, while Pay got into fights and got participation awards.
Patryk’s drawings went on the fridge, and Pay’s went in the fire.
Even as they grew up Patryk, despite being the younger twin by two minutes, got the best, he got the last pizza in the dinner line, got the seat on the bus next to the cute girl they both liked, and when they graduated high school and Patryk went off to college the cute girl with bright blonde pigtails became a man two years his senior with messy brown hair, thick eyebrows and an unkempt face.
His name was Paul, and he too was perfect.
Pay met him while he was rooming with Patryk after his latest eviction, and Patryk had introduced him as ‘a friend’, so Pay called dibs and moved in.
Paul was the sweetest guy he’d ever met, emotional and caring and so funny, and the next thing he knew Patryk announced they were dating at the Christmas dinner table and their parents were congratulating them, which was weird considering the side eye they’d given Pay’s last girlfriend.
And then he was stood at the altar next to Patryk, the ‘best man’, Patryk called him, Pay wondered of he was ‘the best’ or if he’d been given the position out of pity or because they were brothers, he looked out among the other guests as the two said their vows and spotted Edd, Edd was a nice guy who didn’t get evicted or sleep with people every other day, why wasn’t he the best man?
He looks at Paul and he’s stunning, for a brief moment Pay imagines what their wedding would be like, how much of the planning had been Patryk’s? Would he and Paul be happy together? Did Patryk deserve someone like Paul?
He shakes away the thought quickly, yes, he did deserve Paul. Patryk was perfect after all.
They had been married for two years, and today was his and Patryk’s birthday again.
So naturally, his idiot brother and his idiot husband were having earth shatteringly loud sex at 8 am with his room just next door.
Sometimes he prays to God and asks why.
Then at 11am, after Pay had moved into the living room and taken a nap on the couch, they entered, still kissing and being domestic and only stopped when they saw him watching from under his arm.
“Morning, Pay.” Patryk smiled shyly on his way past to the kitchen and he nodded back.
“Happy birthday Pay.” Paul smiled, Pay nodded at him too and he left to the kitchen too.
Five seconds later they were kissing. Ew.
Then he’d taken another nap and woke up to Paul nudging him awake.
“Hey, we’re going out.” Pay waved.
Paul pulled him up into a sitting position.
“You’re coming too, I don’t know if you have a suit or anything so Patryk gave you one of his.” He’s handed a plain white button up shirt, black dress trousers and a pink tie.
He knows he’s not Patryk’s size but he changes anyway, and when he does the shirt is baggy and the trousers won’t stay around his waist, he doesn’t miss the flash of concern on Paul’s face.
'Paul has really soft hands’ he realises as the Dutch man is buckling a belt around his waist and tucking his shirt in, almost like a father would do to his son, and Pay wonders if they want kids.
“You clean up nicely.” He smiles and Pay rolls his eyes jokingly.
“Thanks dad.” Paul laughs and holy shit it’s cute.
Pay wonders where they’re going when he’s sat in the back arguing with Patryk about seatbelt safety and how 'seatbelts are for pussies, Patryk.’ 'Well, you are what you eat.’ And he’s thinking about how that doesn’t male any fucking sense because he didn’t say 'asshole’ when the car parks.
They’ve parked at a high class restaurant that is way too nice for Pay.
“So, I wait in the car, right? Just like old times.” Paul looks concerned again and Patryk takes his hand drags him inside, Pay feels sick as he enters, the plants are exotic, the smell is exotic, fuck, even the wallpaper is exotic, and even worse than that, his stomach is rumbling from the smell.
He can’t even remember the last time he had a decent meal.
The greeter puts them in a booth with Paul in the middle and Pay thinks 'Ha, it’s like life.’ especially when Paul has shifted closer to Patryk and begins kissing him.
Dinner goes well, Pay actually eats something other than instant noodles and he doesn’t have to witness his brother get fondled at the table (He can only assume he’s going to hear a lot of it tonight.) and at the end a group of four waiters bring out a cake, for Patryk probably.
Then it’s set down in front of him and he sees Patryk grin from the corner of his eyes as the barbershop quartet begin singing 'Happy birthday’, they stop at his name and he stutters out 'I-it’s Pay.’ and the song continues.
“Happy birthday, bro.” Patryk hugs him tight and Pay wonders if he’s actually OD’d and it’s some kind of sick fantasy, but it feels real and that’s enough for him to choke out a sob.
“Thank you, Pat.”
It wasn’t really payback for years of neglect and emotional abuse from his parents, but knowing his brother really loved him was certainly a start.