Philosophy-joke

A PLAY ABOUT MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING IN TWO ACTS

ACT I

Cat, a lifeform specialized in detecting small prey animals and catching them: *sees a mouse, chases it, catches, eats it*
Human: “Wow evolution has made such a great hunter, look at it! Amazing!”

Cat: *sees a laser pointer dot, frantically tries to catch it but cannot, as it is just light*
Human: “lol too optimised for wanting to catch things am I right”

***

ACT II

Human, a lifeform specialized in using and making tools and seeing if tools are good for different tasks: *sees a knife* “Aha! Someone made this sharp tool to cut things. I see, it’s really good for that!”

Human: *looks at his own body* “Who made this?? What were they thinking? There’s some bigger hidden meaning behind this right? What am I made for… What is the purpose of my mortal life? Am I good? Am I bad? Is there a God? I keep looking for my destiny but alas, I can’t figure it out….”

  • Jaune: oh my god
  • Ren: What, what is it now?
  • Ren: What profound WISDOM are you about to drop on us?
  • Ren: What could you possibly say?
  • Ren: What could lead you to this obviously stunning revelation you have just had?
  • Jaune:
  • Ren:
  • Jaune: sorry to disappoint but i just forgot to put on one of my belts today
  • Ren:
  • Jaune: not everything i say is some poorly thought out philosophy joke
  • Ren: I,
things associated with the signs

aries: odin, tinkerbell, cinnamon buns, supernovas, peach green tea, game of thrones, kim possible, marc jacobs, balloons, florida, dragons, bear hugs, freckles, city skylines, ripped jeans, pegasus, bonfires, long hair, cooking, auburn hair, nail polish, board games

taurus: gemstones, pocahontas, cat’s whiskers, katniss everdeen, roses, economics, finding nemo, dark red lipstick, prada, cherry blossoms, forest fairies, singing, smoke, autumn leaves, teddy bears, trees, fancy dinners, tea, soft eyes, flower crowns, dublin

gemini: budapest, lilo, honolulu, honeysuckle, spice girls, eskimo kisses, the dead sea, rainy nights, new york, polyjuice potion, shapeshifter, lamps, yellow, angelina jolie, roadtrips, log cabins, texting, green eyes, city streets, lipstick, shakespearean insults, pixie dust

cancer: chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, oversized sweaters, starry night, coconuts, hot chocolate, penguins, plaid shirts, vera wang, long hugs, fluffy socks, hades, werewolf, snow, croissants, crystals, the beach, journals, musical theatre, clean sheets

leo: thor, knitted blankets, fall out boy, ginny weasley, champagne, destiny’s child, swans, chanel, polaroids, phoenix, glitter, sunflowers, pink, massages, manicures, bubble baths, starbucks, saturday nights, sunlight, bright green, rome, sleeping, full moons, alcopops

virgo: amsterdam, mona lisa, white wine, science, cappucino, calligraphy, clouds, back to the future, unicorns, coffee stains, elephants, turquoise, collarbones, ballet, dinner parties, paint, showers, daisy chains, icy blue, boston, pop music, green tea, porcelain teacups

libra: london, photographs, ombre hair, mulberry, lavender, geography, parks and rec, ralph lauren, perfect eyeliner, angels, lotus flowers, feathers, old movies, big cities, drunken kisses, snow, cats, mineral makeup, wind chimes, copenhagen, lemongrass

scorpio: soft pillows, galaxies, cute nicknames, edward scissorhands, hickeys, that’s so raven, dyed hair, athena, vampires, waves, leather jackets, long eyelashes, big beds, smoky eyes, mountains, radios, new orleans, candy apples, black lipstick, whispers

sagittarius: loki, the girl with the pearl earring, comets, violet baudelaire, jack sparrow, beer, swallows, versace, centaurs, philosophy, candyfloss, bad jokes, crayons, old magazines, campfires, acapulco, flowers, indie music, white sage, curly hair, scary movies

capricorn: candles, asteroids, vanilla, lattes, sweeney todd, the supremes, pancake dates, blizzards, goblins, thunderstorm, dancing, craft beer, headphones, new shoes, wildflowers, pearlescent white, montreal, rock music, juniper, spiral staircases

aquarius: merida, miami, nebula, jasmine, bob’s burgers, hummingbirds, velvet, dior, brown eyes, lightning, witches, venice, smooth rocks, moon dust, lipgloss, notebooks, sphinx, wednesday addams, stars, sundresses, leather, nightlights, buenos aires

pisces: paris, books, arctic monkeys, luna lovegood, mad hatter, doves, meditteranean sea, classic rock music, alexander mcqueen, snowflakes, hawaii, poseidon, mermaids, romance, pasta, dandelions, doodling, black coffee, old friends, lakes, seville, acoustic songs