Philosophy-joke

Which philosopher should you fight?

inspired by http://officialbeachcity.tumblr.com/post/116273579006/what-composer-you-should-fight
Sartre: Will make you cry before you can fight him.
Nietzsche: Sad and probably an alcoholic. You could take Nietzsche in a fight, but you’d be an asshole for picking on a sad old dude.
Aristotle: Greeks were kinda badass. Be careful fighting Aristotle or Plato.
Karl Marx: DO YOU WANT TO GET BEAT UP BY MR. COMMUNISM HIMSELF??? DO YOU???
Camus: Bad boy existentialist in a leather jacket. Will beat you in a fight.
Franz Kafka: HE’S WEIRD AF AND WILL PROBABLY TURN YOU INTO A GIANT COCKROACH OR SOME SHIT
Descartes: Old, fat, and an ass. Fight Renée Descartes.

Philosophy Joke

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy.”

The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy’s nervousness builds. He remembers his father’s advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: “Do you like potato pancakes?” She says “No,” and the silence returns.

After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father’s suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, “Do you have a brother?” Again, the girl says “No” and there is silence once again.

The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father’s advice and asks the girl the following question: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”