Pet peeves

I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.

“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”

Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.

Rules of Monster Hunter

1) If you want it, Monster Hunter will sense that you want it and it will automatically be deleted from the game, leaving you wondering “why can’t I get it?”

2) Statistical chance means jack shit.

3) You’ll get the rarest drop from every monster except the ones you need them from.

4) You will always be one slot off from making a really awesome skill set.

5) If you are drinking a potion, fuck you specifically.  Even from across the map, the monster will come flying at you in no time.

6) Conchus and Ioprey are actually Satan incarnate and will use every opportunity to fuck you over in the worst way possible.

7) You will always recover exactly 1 frame too late to dodge out of the way.

The Most ANNOYING kinds of episodes on Property Brothers

Scenario 1:

“Hi I’m Husband and I’m a High School teacher, this is Wife, she’s a stay-at-home mom. We’re looking for a place in the city closer to work. Our max budget is $900,000


Scenario 2

“Our dream home is 3 floor detached with a view in the city with 5 bedrooms, open concept chef’s kitchen, an ensuite with a claw foot cast iron tub, marble countertops and fireplaces, all new appliances, high end finishes, high ceilings, and custom walk-in closets. Our budget is $75.”


Scenario 3

Jonathan: I always budget 10% contingency money.

Couple: Does that mean we can get our custom walk-in his and her closets?!


Scenario 4

Jonathan: So this house is basically a blank slate. There are no walls so you can see everything, no kitchen , no finishes. The demo is pretty much done. And with the place at $500,000 market value, you have about $120,000 for renovation. You can pretty much do whatever you want.

Couple: …mmm I don’t know Jonathan… we’re not really looking to go through another renovation 


The signs' most irrational pet peeve

Aries: People who leave time on the microwave and don’t clear the clock. They get so mad that they’ll throw the microwave out the window.

Taurus: When someone yawns with their mouth open, and makes the loudest possible noise they can, while also stretching their arms like they’re about to fucking fly away.

Gemini: People who hold the door for them when they are a hundred foot away. It makes them feel obligated to start the awkward half walk, half jog combination that makes anyone feel like an idiot.

Cancer: People that try to enter a train/any public transportation before letting people get off.

Leo: When they text or tell people a long joke or something funny, and they only reply with lol. A simple ‘haha that’s funny’ or even a ‘wow haha’ sounds more sincere.

Virgo: Crumbs in the butter. Come on you guys, how hard is it to wipe your knife off between butter servings? :/

Libra: When people scrape their teeth against the silverware while taking a bite. That shit makes them cringe!

Scorpio: Porn clips where the audio is slightly delayed.

Sagittarius: When people don’t say good bye before hanging up the phone. Like WTF?!

Capricorn: Wet bathrooms, especially when they walk in wearing socks. How the FUCK did you manage to turn a goddamn little linoleum box of a room into a freaking swamp?

Aquarius: They hate when people try to tell them things they already know.

Pisces People who put cereal or milk back with only a tiny bit left. UGH. Whyyyy?!!!

The Signs- Pet Peeves

Aries: Slow walkers, unreturned phone calls, people who don’t get to the point, bad dancers.

Taurus: Bad food, people who brag to much, messy rooms/disorganization, bad hygiene.

Gemini: People without a sense of humor, people who talk slowly, pessimistic people.

Cancer: People who show up early to places, ungrateful people, sloppy dressers.

Leo: People who appear better than them, being ignored, being told what to do.

Virgo: Disorganization, wasting time, people who use bad grammar or swear.

Libra: Litter, people who are cruel to animals, bad haircuts.

Scorpio: When someone never returns something to them, being the victim of gossip, being outshined at something.

Sagittarius: Late trains/airplanes, people who complain, people who don’t take risks.

Capricorn: Wasting money, misbehaved children, someone who doesn’t keep their promise.

Aquarius: People who dress in a boring way, being a third wheel, lack of loyalty, gossip.

Pisces: Slow drivers, people who laugh too loud, people who walk away from arguments.

Today’s pet peeve: those movies where a young female character has to deal with an older male mentor figure who’s like, a really severe misogynist, and her managing to win his grudging approval in spite of her being-a-girl-ness is framed as some sort of inspiring achievement on her part.

Things I don’t like:

Non black people suddenly “slipping” into AAVE or slang, trying to talk “black” when they get around me. Phrases like
Adding “ah” to every word they say (I.e dollah, numbah, holla)
Annoying slipping in the “proud black woman who don’t need no man” when talking about independence (yes, it has actually happened)
Let’s not forget “ghetto”

Stop. You look silly. Stop acting like you have to switch up from how you regularly talk to converse with me, as if I can only understand you if you “talk black” 🙄 trust me, all black people automatically know when you do it, we all thinks it’s corny, and afterwards we really don’t want to talk to you anymore. Especially if you’re going to act “hood” or “black” every time you come into contact with us. Act accordingly and speak to us like you do everyone else. We. Are. People. Just. Like. You 🙃

Today’s pet peeve: that thing where it’s clear from the dialogue and interactions and such that a female cartoon character is meant to read as conspicuously overweight, but she’s drawn with exactly the same build as everybody else.

Today’s pet peeve: when a sci-fi novel presents itself as a serious work of speculative anthropology, yet somehow everybody in the world speaks the same language, there’s no such thing as religion, and there’s a single global currency that has equal valuation everywhere.