the youngest of my two brothers struggled to alert my parents that he has in fact been dating a girl for three weeks. i sat next to him unsure of myself suddenly forgetting how to move my hands swallow my breath where to look. my parents towards the end of our family meal recounted the story of their engagement giggles and hoots we laugh at their absurd and endearing stories and yet i still find myself fumbling the ball. there is a high pitch bellow ringing in my ears i look around me each face lined with laughter excitement sitting in their bellies and i realize i am alone in my discomfort. i am alone. i read an article this morning my mind swirling amongst the words of the author poetry is language of weakness not of self of weakness. i am alone and i am writing this in weakness. yesterday a boy at my school held a door open for me. my jaw returning to its home thank you i dare not look into his eyes or else he will see what i keep hidden from the world i am lonely. i cannot will not let the imagery of a male servicing me in a time of need be a depiction of something other than myself saving me. i am alone. i will be alone. tears burn behind my eyes as i write this. i quickly fix my hat turn my stare avoid my parents my brothers their girlfriends i cannot let them know allow them to detect my hunger for more.
You are not just a separate individual in this world, but you are a part of it. Everything is connected. We are all one being. There are no separate energies; but just one big collection of all of us together.