The Akatsuki Texting

Let’s pretend that the Akatsuki stuck around long enough to see mobile phones being introduced into the Naruto world. How would each of them text?

1. Pein: Sets a signature and doesn’t realize it

Pein: “Konan, make sure that everyone knows how to send me their weekly report via text I am god.”

Pein: “Oh and if you can bring me a coffee too, that would be great I am god.”

Konan: “Do you have a signature for texting?”

Pein: “What’s that? I am god.”

2. Konan: Uses emoticons a lot

Konan: “ /(・ × ・)\ “

Pein: “What is that supposed to mean? I am god.”

Konan: “It’s a bunny!! (^ _ ^)/ “

Pein: “Oh. Very nice Konan. I am god.”

3. Deidara: Spams people

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Deidara: “Hey”

Sasori: “WHAT do you want you idiot?”

Deidara: “Your art sucks get a real hobby.”

4. Sasori: Doesn’t reply for days

Pein: “Sasori did you manage to get that scroll I asked about? I am god.”

Pein: “….. I am god.”

Sasori: “Yea”

Pein: “I sent that 5 days ago it doesn’t matter anymore. I am god.”

5. Hidan: Doesn’t care about grammar

Hidan: “Ur a fucgucking asshol get a lif”

Kakuzu: “What the…what the hell does that even say?!”

Hidan: “fcuk u jerk shitty asswipe monee loviing pice of shit”

Kakuzu: “Don’t ever text me again.”

6. Kakuzu: Tries to scam people

Kakuzu: “Your bank account has been hacked into. Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “Kakuzu I saved your number onto my phone I know it’s you”

Kakuzu: “Please provide us with your login and PIN so we can fix this issue for you.”

Kisame: “That means no.”

7. Kisame: Uses it for it’s intended purpose…only

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

Kisame: “Hey boss I finished the mission.”

Pein: “Ok. I am god.”

8. Itachi: Sends chain messages to Sasuke

Itachi: “If you love your brother send this to TEN PEOPLE. If you don’t then you will have BAD LUCK for the next 10 years!!”

Sasuke: “Itachi….”

Itachi: “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN VISITED BY THE FAMILY ANGEL! Pass this on to five people and you will be loved for the rest of your life!”

Sasuke: “Itachi stop.”

9. Tobi: Send anonymous hate since no one saved his number

???: “You are the worst leader I have ever had the misfortune to take orders from.”

Pein: “WHO IS THIS? I am god.”

???: “Your hair looks stupid.”

Hidan: “I AM GIONG TO DUCKING KILL WHOEVR THIS IS.”

???: “Samehada doesn’t really love you.”

Kisame: “You are a cruel, heartless person who doesn’t deserve happiness.”

10. Zetsu: Uses it once a year to send a mass text

Zetsu: “Happy national tree day.”

Konan: “You too.”

???: “I’m gonna chop down a tree today.”

Kisame: “Right back at ya Zetsu.”

Your Akatsuki boyfriend according to your sign:

Aries: Itachi Uchiha

Originally posted by indraotsutsuki

Taurus: Yahiko

Originally posted by xxuchiha-harunoxx

Gemini: Hidan

Originally posted by inuzukaichizoku

Cancer: Deidara

Originally posted by grimmkitty-k

Leo: Kakuzu

Originally posted by izayadragon

Virgo: Tobi / Obito Uchiha

Originally posted by edo--tensei

Libra: Pein / Nagato

Originally posted by osxka

Scorpio: Kisame Hoshigaki

Originally posted by edo--tensei

Sagittarius: Sasuke Uchiha

Originally posted by kakahsi

Capricorn: Sasori

Originally posted by rogueuchihaninja

Aquarius: Zetsu

Originally posted by chesterfeattim

Pisces: Orochimaru

Originally posted by fernandafrisson

What the Akatsuki want for christmas

Kakuzu:Gold
Hidan:Your blood
Itachi:Sasuke
Kisame:*tapes misletoe on forehead*
Deidara:He just wants to give YOU his shitty mix tape
Sasori:Super tall puppet legs
Konan:She deserves the finest of diamonds
Pein:An embarrassing hot rod for all six peins to cruise around with(black with flames would be nice.
Tobi/obito:your nudes probably

Bonus:
Nagato:A hug..If he could actually get one.
Madara:Hashirama in a santa costume