Every Steven Universe Episode in a Nutshell
  • Gem Glow: ice cream makes me do crazy things
  • Laser Light Cannon: Hoarders: Magic Edition
  • Cheeseburger Backpack: mr. queasy get rekt
  • Together Breakfast: Diabetes
  • Frybo: Scarred/ triggered/save me from the fries
  • Cat Fingers: They’re cute. But not that cute.
  • Bubble Buddies: So we’re shipping them right?
  • Serious Steven: Funland Trauma
  • Tiger Millionaire: And his name is JOHN CENAAAAA A
  • Steven’s Lion: pure. just pure all around
  • Arcade Mania: Video games are evil. And fun. Have my money
  • Giant Woman: She’s beauty. She’s grace. She’ll shoot you in the face.
  • So Many Birthdays: hang on to your youth, kids. please
  • Lars and the Cool Kids: *throws peace sign* nature man
  • Onion Trade: Basically trading with Satan. 
  • Steven and the Sword Fighter: Swordfighting kills birds. Don’t kill birds. Get Direc
  • Lion 2: The Movie: Batcave
  • Beach Party: Sorry for wrecking your shop. Here’s a life-threatening experience.
  • Rose’s Room: So your mother’s room is the gates of hell.
  • Coach Steven: Nicki Minaj
  • Joking Victim: *lights the whole town on fire* *doesn’t get arrested*
  • Steven and the Stevens: Clones. Evil but handsome
  • Monster Buddies: precious. always protect.
  • An Indirect Kiss: He like totally just cured blindness.
  • Mirror Gem: water goddess arises
  • Ocean Gem: and then takes the ocean and pull at my heart strings
  • House Guest: Mechanic Pearl
  • Space Race: TOO SPAAAACCCEEEEEE
  • Secret Team: aka Pizza Posse
  • Island Adventure: Cast Away
  • Keep Beach City Weird: I want to believe.
  • Fusion Cuisine: Mega mom crush me
  • Garnet’s Universe: Garnet AU
  • Watermelon Steven: They’re cute and I’ll adopt 23
  • Lion 3: Straight to Video:  MOM ANGST
  • Warp Tour: Introducing Green Doritos
  • Alone Together: friendly bonding but with their bodies…into one
  • The Test: you failed. sorry
  • Future Vision: “I know how and when everyone will die.”
  • On the Run: my origin is basically a bee hive for hot girls with muscles
  • Horror Club: Angsty lighthouse wants angst
  • Winter Forecast: “I know how and when everyone will die” part 2
  • Maximum Capacity: Hoarders: New Years Edition
  • Marble Madness: The return of the green balls and space dorito
  • Rose’s Scabbard: I’m not crying.
  • Open Book: making a fanfiction
  • Shirt Club: Art is a beautiful but terrifying thing.
  • Story for Steven: How I Met Your Mother
  • The Message: They’re coming, Steven. And they’re HOT. 
  • Political Power: Gems aren’t the only ones who are corrupted, Steven.
  • The Return: muscle goddess take me now
  • Jailbreak: water/muscle goddess take me now
  • Full Disclosure: time to grow up or don’t idc
  • Joy Ride: I cope with my situations by hanging out with people twice my age and stealing alien space crafts.
  • Say Uncle: No. Just stop. Please.
  • Love Letters: Three’s a crowd
  • Reformed: that has to hurt. like it has too
  • Sworn to the Sword: Sworn to be Gay
  • Rising Tides, Crashing Skies: the aliens don’t understand my struggles
  • Keeping It Together: by discovering Earth’s horrifying secrets.
  • We Need to Talk: I tried to physically mash into your mother but she wasn’t into it.
  • Chille Tid: Chill time but with nightmares about the water/muscle goddess haunting the ocean.
  • Cry for Help: We heard but we don’t care.
  • Keystone Motel: gay.
  • Onion Friend: Satan wants to play
  • Historical Friction: Don’t we have records or a library for this kind of thing?
  • Friend Ship: How. Did. They. Fuse. In. That. Small. Space.
  • Nightmare Hospital: They walk among us.
  • Sadie’s Song: Steven Universe cosplaying Katy Perry.
  • Catch and Release: adopting the space dorito
  • When It Rains: Imagine if scalding water came down from the sky…
  • Back to the Barn: Slavery but hotter
  • Too Far: The new girl got a toy.
  • The Answer: The story about how two lesbians fell in love and I died
  • Steven’s Birthday: act your age or you know… turn into your age
  • It Could’ve Been Great: No.
  • Message Received: A hot giraffe is our villain. And she has a cute secretary.
  • Log Date 7 15 2: the one where they almost fused
  • Super Watermelon Island: being sacrificed to the water/muscle goddess
  • Gem Drill: underground ANGST
  • Same Old World: Is that a Friends reference?
  • Barn Mates: im gay
  • Hit the Diamond: Space Jam 
  • Steven Floats: First day back home and it already sucks.
  • Drop Beat Dad: get the fuck out
  • Mr. Greg: ANGST but with music
  • Too Short to Ride: So now we have metal benders.
  • The New Lars: human possession
  • Beach City Drift: Need For Speed: Fusion Edition
  • Restaurant Wars: copyright infringement
  • Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service: ok I’m tired of pizza now
  • Monster Reunion: cry
  • Alone at Sea: *One Punch Man theme plays in the distance*
  • Greg the Babysitter: Don’t let Rose watch after a child. 
  • Gem Hunt: Man vs. Wild vs. Corrupted Gems vs. Muscle Goddess
  • Crack the Whip: muscle bitch chill
  • Steven vs. Amethyst: worst fight ever 
  • Bismuth: why am I crying so much
  • Beta: i love gay
  • Earthlings: I should be excited for fusion but I cry.
  • Back to the Moon: Damn Rose.
  • Bubbled: heart attack activated
  • Kindergarten Kid: Roadrunner: Dorito Edition
  • Know Your Fusion: I don’t.
  • Buddy’s Book: Fair thee well
  • Mindful Education: Oh no here comes the trauma.
  • Future Boy Zoltron: is that gay i smell
  • Last One Out of Beach City: absolute best, 10 out of 10, just the best, supported, protect always, love, so gay, love the gay, the gay, is, great, i, just, love the gay
  • Onion Gang: Satan’s Gang
Heaven & Earth Beetles

In the episode “Giant Woman”, Pearl/Amethyst/Steven are sent to retrieve the Heaven Beetle. Garnet goes to get the Earth Beetle. The episode highlights Pearl and Amethyst’s relationship, and in the end, everything works out ok. BUT…

What are they? Mini corrupted gems? Are the opposing colors meant to represent Pearl/Amethyst?

Why even bother catching them? They don’t seem dangerous.

Why do they have BEDROOMS?! WITH MODERN HUMAN STUFF?! WHO DID THIS?!

THIS SEEMS LIKE A DOWNGRADE FROM THE MINI BEDROOM DEAL, HONESTLY. GARNET BUBBLES THEM LIKE THIS. ARE THEY PETS NOW?!

I’m sorry, but this really f*cking bothers me. lol

Maybe in a future episode, Pearl/Amethyst return to the Sky Spire to put them back, and it highlights how much the two have grown. Maybe we’ll get more info on the beetles and what they do/why they need to be together.

BUT FOR NOW I REMAIN ANGRY/CURIOUS.