PaxEast

Google made me proud today.

A little while ago, I was on a mission to show a friend of mine the best doggo in the world, Chica. I began to type ‘mark fischbach chica’ and as Google tried to read my mind, as it always does, I froze and tears welled in my eyes.

‘mark fischbach changing the world’ now at this moment I was mid sentence on Skype so my friend started to panic slightly because of my sudden pause. When I finally found my voice again I explained what had caught me off guard. To which my friend replied, “Why did that hit you so hard? The guy does charity work right?”

Years of watching Mark, all the skits, all the let’s plays, all the goofy stuff that falls in the mix as well, even if I didn’t necessarily like the video or find it particularly funny I always watched from beginning to end to show my support for his channel. Not because I was staring at his face [though he his a looker], not because of being his biggest fan [though I’m probably up there], not even just to have background noise [I like to actually watch the videos]. I would watch them in their entirety because maybe the money made from that time watching that particular video would enable him to do his next big event that would save people’s live by giving them the hope they had lost, fund another charity so its research could go on and maybe even find a cure, all of that and more.

Today I watched his PAX East panel, not in person sadly but live on twitch. At the end when it appeared he was going to break down and cry [all while I’m pointing and screaming at my TV for him not to cry over and over again because though I know he’s crying because his heart is full of joy and pride, it makes me tear up too, dang you Mark] His ending remarks both filled me with happiness and sadness.

Mind you now in the Skype call, showing pictures of Chica has fallen to the back burner [sorry Chica-bica] and I had began rambling about all the different charities Mark has helped raise awareness and money for, how his channel has become this massive community full of love and kindness and were only able to what it is today because no matter what video you click on of Marks, be it his oldest videos or one he posted a few hours ago, behind those dick jokes, infectious laugh, screams, two-finger defense strategies, and everything else; he’s still just a man who wants to change the world.

My exact words before the Skype call was ended with my friend saying I’m gonna go check out this guys videos [got you a new subscriber Mark! Woo!] were, “I froze when I saw that come up on the auto-complete search results because it’s amazing. I froze and damn near started crying my ****in eyes out because this man who one a daily basis calls himself a goof and acts exactly like a goof, is changing the world. Whether it’s meeting a sick child who is a fan of his videos, doing a live stream, going out and meeting his fans and doing skits that include them, answering questions at conventions, or just making people like me be able to smile from the comfort of my home and give me the strength to fight impulses that would be damaging. He preaches over and over again that to him we’re the heroes, hell he put it on the sleeves on his charity shirts, he’s too humble to admit that he is the hero or that he’s made his friends: Bob, Wade, Jack, Ethan, Tyler, etc. heroes as well for pushing for the goals with him and all coming up together with new and amazing ways to both entertain and improve the day to day life of everyone who will watch and listen.” 

I sat here for a few minutes minutes, got my screen cap cut down to size, made sure it wasn’t too illegible. As I began to type my post, my Skype rang, it was my same fiend from before. I imagine the time lapse between end of call to now beginning of new call was maybe a total of two hours give or take.

I answer and all I hear are tears. I am instantly in [who do I need to kill] mode. After they calm down they explain they just searched for emotional play through’s. My mind immediately goes to ‘Presentable Liberty’, ‘That Dragon Cancer’, ‘Anxiety Attack’, among many others I could think of that could be labeled emotional. 

After an awkward silence they asked, “What possessed this man, who has known such great tragedy and loss in his life to do everything he does for others.” I smiled, we were on video chat so they saw and then looked at me with confusion. “The answer to that one is easy, I think he’d agree. He’s seen difficulty, just like all of us, and THAT is why he continues to do it. He strives to make the burdens of this world less heavy on our shoulders, he raises money so that the sick can be mended and go home and play with their friends, he makes personal vlogs looking into each and every one of his fan’s eyes, tears brimming with whatever emotion he’s conveying so we all know he is there for us, he is proud of us, and he will never stop working to change the world.”

My friend nodded at me then told me they were gonna go rest on it, maybe watch a few more videos before laying down. I just made a terrible joke about FNAF [I will spare you the joke, trust me, it was bad] then the Skype call ended once more. 

Now I’m left here with these thoughts in my head. Earlier I mentioned the PAX East stream, one of the things Mark said before leaving the stage was, “When we’re gone, you’re next.” Now this turned into jokes being made and all that because that’s what Mark and his friends do, they cut up and have a good time. It was the way he said it that stuck with me. Like he’s prepping all of us to take this bright, burning torch when he decides to step away from youtube as a career and that brings him almost to a blubbering mess because of all we’ve shown him we can do so far, I think he believes that whenever that time is. Whether it be a year from now, two years from now, or more; he knows that the community that he never dreamed he would have and be part of will continue to do what we do best, because we learned it from the one and only Markiplier.

Change the world.

@therealjacksepticeye Talking to you on Friday and seeing you on Sunday were the best moments of my life. There were times where I felt you were my only friend and it pained me so much that there was a screen between us. When I met you last year I didn’t have much time with you, I wanted to say so many things but instead I bawled. I’m so glad that this year I got to tell you what a huge inspiration you’ve been to me, I finally got to feel safe in your arms–sorry I was so much taller than you–you have always been there for me, and anytime I think about doing something I may regret I think of all the kind things you’ve said to me and your fans. I think of how many hard moments you’ve pushed through and it gives me the courage to move on and become a better person. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done not only for me but for anyone who has watched your videos.

less than 300 days until i’m back in boston hugging this awesome dude. a lot has changed and i look WAY different, but i’m excited to see the year difference in pictures:) alsooo he may be helping me out with a tattoo;) i’m very excited!