Paul Lynde is everyone’s favorite center square for a reason: he was anything but square. His bold, clever one-liners and double-entendres made him stand out as the closest thing to a badass on cheesy 70’s television.
10. Peter Marshall:Paul, in ancient Rome, bakers were required by law to bake something into each loaf of bread. What?
Paul Lynde: A Christian.
9. Peter: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
Paul: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your apartment.
8. Peter: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body. What is it?
Paul: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!
7. Peter: According to the old song, “At night, when you’re asleep, into your tent I’ll creep.” Who am I?
Paul: The scoutmaster!
6. Peter: You are leaving Hawaii by boat. Legend says that you’ll return if you do something. Do what?
Paul: I guess have Don Ho’s baby.
5. Peter: In the Bible, who was found in a basket among the bulrushes?
Paul: Colonel Sanders.
4. Peter: What is the name of the instrument with the light on the end, that the doctor sticks in your ear?
Paul: Oh, a cigarette.
3. Peter: Fred Astaire says, his mother has been trying to get him to do this since he was 35. But he hasn’t done it and says he won’t do it until he’s ready. Do what?
Paul: Move out of the house!
2. Peter: Eddie Fisher recently stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?
Paul: His fans.
1. Peter: Paul, the state flag of Alabama is all white with one very distinctive feature. What is it?
Paul: Eye holes!
Peter: Oh, Paul, what would we ever do without you?