If my spelling goes awry it’s only because I’m typing one
handed whilst my other hand is face palming through my skull.
Jesus Christ…where to start.
First off lets go with the two big points.
If Peter Parker’s status quo is going to be
shook up THIS much in ways which realistically should mean he couldn’t go back
to what he used to be I hope and I pray this isn’t a sign of an incurring continuity
reboot. I hate to say it but I’d rather take a psychic mindwipe than that
So much for Mary Jane returning or the marriage
coming back or like anything of that nature in the wake of Renew Your Vows
because this doesn’t sound like that at all, especially regarding the ‘romantic
complications’ thing plus the cover
Moving on…you know I said once that Slott basically has
been ripping off Batman in his Spider-Man work. The Spider Signal in Superior
being the Bat signal. Otto upgrading his tech as the series progressed whilst
everyone was oblivious to him not being the real deal like Jean Paul Valley in
Knightfall. Parker Industries being Wayne Industries. Hell a scene in Superior
more or less cribbed the idea of the sonar technology from ‘The Dark Knight’. It
becomes even more painful when you remember Slott wrote Batman Adventures back
in the day with Ty Templeton, his collaborator on his first major Spider-Man
project, the Spider-Man/Human Torch mini-series.
And now with this…am I the only one getting a Batman Inc.
vibe from this?
And if Slott, Marvel or whomever else feels like denying
that this is further trying to make Peter Parker like Bruce Wayne (right down
to seemingly being a rich and famous playboy) then accept their word…and just
point out they are instead ripping off Iron Man because Slott more or less admits to
Question: why does Peter Parker have to be like Batman OR
Iron Man. I get he has the Marvel equivalent of Batman’s villains and some of
DeMatteis’ stories evoke Batman or were based upon/originally meant to be
Batman stories. And I get JMS was trying really goddam hard to push the idea of
Iron Man being a father figure to Peter.
But Christ…why can’t Peter Parker just be you know…a
mostly normal guy?
Why can’t he have new jobs and life experiences (*coughrenewyourvowscough*)
without having a super science job that could never exist or be relatable in
the real world? Or without being a famous company owner and international icon?
Or without being a ghost watching whilst a super villain controls his life?
Why can’t he just be…a guy?
Remember when Spider-Man was just a teacher? Or a student? Or
a photographer making ends meet?
I’m not saying he has to remain in those places forever but
there is moving a character onto the next organic step and then there is doing
the equivalent of changing their life because he won the lottery.
This does one of the big, big, big things Civil War achieved
in unmasking Spider-Man because it makes Peter Parker a celebrity. And not just
“hey he’s the guy who took pictures of Spider-Man’ kind of minor celebrity. This
makes him Steve Jobs! How is he supposed to remain as a normal down to Earth
guy with down to Earth problems in this status quo or go back to what he used
Even if he lost all his money and inventions realistically
he’s never going to be forgotten (at least not for a long ass time) and will
still be hounded by the press. You’d see shit like: “How the mighty have
fallen: Former Playboy Peter Parker wears sweatpants to take out trash!”
You know what though? If they did take away his cash and
stuff and he did just go back to normal and the realistic ramifications weren’t
ever dealt with…I’d accept it.
The same way I accept the Marvel Universe going back to
normal after Civil War and Siege and all that bullshit.
It’s not that I approve of them sweeping it under the rug. I’d
WANT a logical explanation for how we went from A to B to back to A again. But
because A is where we should be and B stood for bullshit I’d begrudgingly live
with the cracks in the crockery they needlessly broke. Doesn’t mean its okay
for them to break it in the first place.
The new costume is whatever. It isn’t that different.
The Spider-Mobile…your mileage may vary (no pun intended)
but I’ve always thought of it as a any 1970s concept we can look back and laugh
on…but it needs to stay dead and gone, like aunt may and doc Ock’s marriage.
It was dumb. It’s so bad it’s good. Now leave it the Hell alone.
And on a final note, Slott, Brevoort, Quesada, Marvel,
Mister Mets, and to whomever else it may concern. If you are okay and supportive
of this idea for Peter Parker’s character you officially need to STFU about how
unrelatable and unrealistic and generally bad it ever was for Peter Parker to
be dating a supermodel like Mary Jane. Is she too famous for his life to be ‘normal’?
Okay…well she isn’t too famous now because apparently Peter Parker will be
playboying it up with lots of celebrity supermodels and actresses. So why can’t
he date Mary Jane now?
Also Mary Jane was a supermodel for five minutes and starred
in a few B-movies and billboards. It is entirely believable that the public
attention she’d get would die down over time when she was no longer in vogue as
far as the gossip magazines were concerned. So actually she wouldn’t necessarily
be hounded by the press or bring unwanted attention to Peter. With this Peter Parker
is an international icon who’s inventions might literally be the greatest
things since sliced bread. If Peter is going to be this big then MJ definitely isn’t
‘too famous and glamorous’ to be married to him. And if Peter is somehow
(please God sans a continuity reboot) going to go back to basics by ignoring the
herd of elephants in the room then Mary Jane is ALSO allowed the same
P.S. I don’t think anyone despite Slott’s claims really
wanted Peter Parker to evolve into this. I think most of us wanted him to
evolve into either the RYV Spider-Man or the MC2 Spider-Man. We never needed
him to be famous, successful, rich, an inventor or a super scientist. We just
needed him to be a guy.
P.P.S. I’d still take this shite over a continuity reboot
P.P.P.S. This 8 month time skip hopefully won’t have anything to do with a continuity reboot although if somehow everything from the incursion onwards gets wiped away sort like with House of M I think that’s acceptable