For my Theatre class we had to pick a scene from a movie and change the genre. Like romance to action, drama to comedy. So I kinda…

Setting: Elf-King’s Hall

Thranduil: *sees Guards approaching with Thorin Oakenshield* Well, look what the trolls dragged in!

Thorin: You know, it’s not very nice to call your guards trolls - even if it is true.

Guard 1: *goes for sword but is stopped by Guard 2*

Thranduil: Now, now, let’s play nice. All I want to know is what you dwarrow kids were doing on my lawn.

Thorin: Oh, just the usual… Getting lost, getting high on poisonous air, being attacked by spiders…

Thranduil: Spiders! So that’s why you’re covered in cobweb. I though maybe it’d been so long since you last had a date that you were literally collecting dust.

Thorin: You blonde bimbo! I’ll have you know that I’m currently dating a very attractive hobbit! I’m just not sure where he is right now… Anyway, that’s not the point. What the hell is wrong with your forest? Did you get a new gardener or something?

Thranduil: No, there’s just some evil junk going on. I don’t what to do about it, and everytime I bring it up to Elrond he just tells me to piss off. All because of what happened at that one rave…

Thorin: And we’re veering into the TMI zone. I swear you elves must be high all the time. Now could you and your fellow leaf-munchers let me and my company go?

Thranduil: Why? So you can go piss off Smaug and set a dragon loose on the land? No thank you!

Thorin: You know, we wouldn’t have this problem if you could have gotten down off your high-elk and helped my people out a century ago.

Thranduil: You hairy little shit! As if I don’t know what facing a dragon is like. I was whooping dragon ass when you great-great-grandfather was in diapers. Just look at this scar! *reveals scar*

Thorin: EW! It looks like burnt bacon!

Thranduil: That’s right, and unless you too want bacon face, you’d better take some of my elf homies with you.

Thorin: Hell. No. There is no room in my company for anyone who takes three hours to brush their hair in the morning.

Thranduil: As if you people can talk with all those stupid braids you wear! That’s it - to the dungeon with you!

Guards: *start to take Thorin away*

Thranduil: And by the way! I do hope you enjoy your dinner of…VEGETABLES!


(I think I’ll get an A)

Imagine - Being caught with Legolas by Thranduil.

The party was still in full swing when you were whisked away by Legolas, though he did it so discreetly that nobody noticed your sudden disappearance with him by your side. How you managed that, you had no idea because you were well aware of how many females vied for his attention.

Little did they know he was in love with you, something that never failed to bring a smile to your face.

You’d both agreed to keep your relationship - and engagement - a secret until you could get his father’s blessing, something that you knew would take a while to earn. Not only did Thranduil absolutely detest you, even going so far as to have banished you from the kingdom, you knew that you hadn’t helped matters by constantly talking back to him. At Legolas’ request, however, he had revoked your banishment, but the road to gain his approval was long and you sometimes wondered whether Thranduil would ever accept the two of you being together.

“You should let me back in there,” You told Legolas as he led you into an empty room. “I could use the chance to win over your father.”

“Later.” He mumbled, closing the door and pushing you against it. “I cannot stand to see the looks you were getting.”

“Jealous, are we?” You raised an eyebrow. It always amused you to see him get so jealous just because you got attention from others.

“You’re mine.” He spoke sternly, his eyes meeting yours.

“Always.” You replied, leaning in to press your lips against his. He was quick to respond to the kiss, arms winding around you and pulling you firmly against him as your own wrapped around his neck.

You didn’t care that there was a party going on nearby, nor did you care that you could be caught at any given moment because the second that Legolas’ hands started roaming your body, all you wanted to do was to have a different kind of fun.

Judging by the bulge you could feel pressing against your lower abdomen, you knew he had the same thought. 

Breaking the kiss, you panted breathlessly. “I need you.”

Legolas smiled, kissing you once before stepped back and pulling you further into the room. Though it wasn’t a bedroom, you would make do; you needed him that badly. 

In a quick movement, he picked you up, leaving you with no choice but to wrap your legs around him as he placed you down on the table you hadn’t even noticed. Pushing everything off the table, objects clattering to the ground, you then tugged Legolas closer to you. 

His lips crashing down on yours in a desperate,almost bruising kind of kiss, you made quick work of stripping him of his clothes. You needed him badly and you were going to stop at nothing until you got what you wanted. With a simple touch, he had awoken all your senses and you wouldn’t be satisfied until you were calling his name as he pushed you over the edge. 

He had to pull you to your feet in order to take off the grey silk gown you wore. You stepped out of the gown as it pooled around your ankles before you jumped back on the table, wrapping your legs around his waist and drawing him closer, the heels of your feet pressing against his ass to bring him as close as possible. 

“You’ll be the death of me.” Legolas whispered, ducking his head in the crook of your neck, planting a kiss behind your ear that had you shivering and clutching his shoulders tightly as he raised a hand to fondle your bare breast. Pinching your nipple, you eyes fluttered shut as tingles shot straight through you to your core. You could feel how wet you were for him already and he had barely even touched you. 

“No foreplay…” You pleaded with him. You knew that Legolas loved to give you more than one release, especially when it came to using his tongue, but all you wanted was his thick cock buried deep inside you until you could think of nothing else. “Please, I need you so badly.” 

Fuelled by passion, he gripped your panties and tugged harshly, causing you to wince at first but when the material was roughly ripped from your body, you moaned. You couldn’t deny it was hot, especially knowing that you’d have to go commando after this. 

His cock was hard and he guided himself to your entrance, but paused long enough to look into your eyes. There was a hint of a smirk on his face as he started to speak, “You’ll have to be quiet.” 

Your eyebrows rose, unimpressed. “Keep being cocky and you can forget all about thi- oh god!” You cut off, moaning loudly when he roughly entered you, gripping your hips tightly as his eyes closed. 

He was deluded if he thought you had a hope in hell of being quiet. Where he was concerned, it just wasn’t possible. 

He seemed to realise this too because when he started to thrust into you, hard, fast and deep, he had to kiss you to drown out the noises you were making, each moan louder. It was a good thing the party had music or everyone would be able to hear what was going on. 

“You’re mine,” Legolas breathed out, his grip on you tightening as he tore his lips from yours, latching themselves onto your neck. You were sure you’d end up with bruises on your hips and a mark on your neck but you didn’t care; you were enjoying this far too much. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, consuming you entirely and you could barely catch your breath. “Tell me you’re mine.” 

“I’m all yours.” You moaned, raking your nails down his chest, causing him to shudder and his pace to momentarily falter. 

You felt him smile against your neck, picking up the pace once again and your head dropped, watching as his cock disappeared into you with each thrust. So when he suddenly pulled out, with no warning, you whimpered at the loss.

“Bend over.” He demanded, his words instantly causing you to smirk as you jumped down from the table and span around, bending over just like he wanted. 

He was just about to thrust back into you when the door opened and in walked the one person you didn’t want seeing you like this. 


Legolas immediately bent down to grab your dress to pass to you, but it was no use. Thranduil had certainly gotten an eye full, seeing more of you than you ever wanted him to see and more of his son than either of them wanted. 

He stood in the doorway, frozen, eyes wide, though he had the common sense to at least avert his gaze.

While Legolas was more than happy to quickly start dressing himself again, you couldn’t help the sarcastic comment that escaped your lips, too aroused to care about the fact you were supposed to be trying to win Thranduil over.

“Do you mind? We were kind of in the middle of something here.” You huffed, hating the interruption. You didn’t even care that you were still naked because you were too aroused and you had never been an insecure person.

“We have guests that were asking where Legolas was.” Thranduil responded harshly, not risking glancing at you both. “So get dressed and get back to the party or I will banish you again.” 

“Fath-” Legolas started to speak.

“No,” Thranduil interrupted him, eyes blazing in anger when he looked at his son, who was now fully dressed. The only one that wasn’t was you, though he didn’t dare glance at you. “I have tolerated this relationship of yours for long enough.”

“I love her.” Legolas spoke through gritted teeth. “When will you ever accept this?” 

“When she starts showing some respect.” Thranduil snapped. He didn’t give either of you the chance to respond before he was rushing from the room, practically running in his haste to get away.

“I don’t suppose there’s any way we can pick up where we left off, is there?” You asked with a nervous laugh, already knowing the answer. Legolas no longer looked happy and it had everything to do with his father, something that annoyed you greatly. “You know what? I’m going to get dressed and then I’m going to give him a piece of my fucking mind.”

“There’s no point,” Legolas sighed, turning to face you and helping you back into your gown. “He won’t change his mind.” 

“Oh, he will once I’m done with him.” 

It was about damn time Thranduil accepted you were here to stay.


AN: So I’m not too sure on this one, I may end up deleting it. Let me know what you think though, I’m curious. :) 

Legolas: Dad, that was unnecessary.

Thranduil: What are you talking about?

Legolas: That seductive smile thing you always do.

Thranduil: Yes, son, it was necessary. Everything I do is necessary. There is nothing I’ve ever done in my life that wasn’t necessary.

Legolas: Was it necessary to lock up a company of dwarves over a dinner party?

Thranduil: Not necessarily. I just wanted to. Like when I made love to your mother. I just wanted to but I was not necessarily expecting you to show up nine months later.

Legolas: You are unbelievable.

Thranduil: That’s what your mother said.


Legolas: Dad, that was unnecessary.

Thranduil: What are you talking about?

Legolas: That seductive smile thing you always do.

Thranduil: Yes, son, it was necessary. Everything I do is necessary. There is nothing I’ve ever done in my life that wasn’t necessary.

Legolas: Was it necessary to lock up a company of dwarves over a dinner party?

Thranduil: Not necessarily. I just wanted to. Like when I made love to your mother. I just wanted to but I was not necessarily expecting you to show up nine months later.

Legolas: You are unbelievable.

Thranduil: That’s what your mother said.

I actually hate that “drinking game” scene in the extended edition because come on Legolas is from Mirkwood and his dad is Middle-Earth’s original Wine Mom™ that boy knows how to get drunk!!! show me a drinking game between Legolas and Gimli where they both get absolutely shitfaced, p l e a s e


Thranduil Cosplay Music Video (Lady Gaga Parody)

The Thranduil we deserve.