TRAGEDY FOLLOWING MIX UP AT THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE


A disastrous mix up earlier today, when presenters at the Thanksgiving Day Parade accidentally awarded the Key to the City not to Santa, Jolliest of Elves - but instead to Volrath, Evincar of Rath.

When officials were questioned as to how such a mix up could occur, they responded that the “Shapeshifting Master of Flowstone had taken on the appearance of the Great Red Elf” and that they “should have caught on when they heard him murmuring about the glory of Phyrexia and also swearing much more than expected.”

Still no word on the location of the actual Santa, but experts predict Volrath to discard Draco by the end of the night and attack for 22 Commander damage.

Shoutout to my bi homies that didn't get to go to pride

Whether it’s because there wasn’t anything in your area or you couldn’t risk outing yourself, I’m letting you know that I feel for ya and that one day, you’ll be able to strut your beautiful bisexual butt™ through pride parades and have an amazing time being you!

so we went to this amusement park last year for a parade and i remember watching my two band directors go on this large swinging ride together

and well the young band director looked like he was gonna cry from fear and was practically clinging to our older director who just straight-faced yelled at him “STOP SCREAMING. YOU ARE AN ADULT. THIS ISNT SCARY”

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