Trauma at Root of Mental Health Issues Among Vietnamese
Linguistic isolation, lack of access to mental health services and cultural taboos are roadblocks for Vietnamese-Americans and other Southeast Asian refugees in Orange County who still suffer from the trauma of war. February 2013.

At the heart of Westminster, Garden Grove and parts of Santa Ana lies a well-known but rarely admitted secret: trauma and its enduring legacy.

Nearly 40 years after the fall of Saigon in 1975, Orange County’s older Vietnamese immigrants — and by extension their families — continue to grapple with the horrors of war, communist “reeducation,” escape by boat and refugee camps. At least half a million refugees arrived in the U.S. in the decades after the war’s end.

As a result, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is widespread among the county’s Vietnamese population, say mental health experts, who link trauma to depression and other problems such as domestic abuse and gambling addiction.

“Post traumatic stress is very prevalent in the community. My dad has it, I had it, I was a refugee,” said Paul Hoang, a licensed clinical social worker and the co-host of a Vietnamese community television program. He also champions mental health for Vietnamese people through his nonprofit organization, Viet-Care, in Garden Grove.

But PTSD is especially difficult to treat among the less acculturated older generation, Hoang said, because of reluctance to discuss traumatic experiences as well as attitudes about mental illness.

“There are some people who still believe that mental illness doesn’t exist. Other groups believe that mental illness is like a curse from whoever you were in the past,” said Hoang,

Another barrier to getting help has been the shortage of Vietnamese-speaking social workers and psychologists. The Orange County Vietnamese population numbers 180,000, and three-fourths of Vietnamese elders speak little or no English. Though the situation is slowly improving, only a handful of psychiatrists in Orange County are fully fluent in Vietnamese.

Further, Vietnamese people in Orange County are more likely than other Asians and ethnic groups to lack mental health coverage, according to a 2010 report, “A Look at Health in Orange County’s Vietnamese Community.”

Helping Children Cope with Traumatic Stress

Tips for Helping a Child or Teen Recover from Trauma

The intense, confusing, and frightening emotions that follow a traumatic event or natural disaster can be even more pronounced in children—whether they directly experienced the traumatic event or were repeatedly exposed to horrific media images after the fact. 

While children and adolescents are more vulnerable to traumatic stress than adults, with the right support and reassurance they are also able to recover faster. 

Traumatic stress and its impact on children

Being involved in a natural disaster, motor vehicle accident, plane crash, or sexual assault and physical violence can be overwhelmingly stressful, especially for children. 

A traumatic event can undermine their sense of security, leaving them feeling helpless and vulnerable, especially if the event stemmed from an act of violence, such as a mass shooting or terrorist attack. 

Even kids or teens not directly affected by a disaster can become traumatized when repeatedly exposed to horrific images of the event on the news or social media.

Effect of Traumatic Stress on Children and Teens

Children age 5 and under may:

  • Show signs of fear
  • Cling to parent or caregiver
  • Cry, scream, or whimper
  • Move aimlessly or become immobile
  • Return to behaviors common to being younger, such as thumbsucking or bedwetting

Children age 6 to 11 may:

  • Lose interest in friends, family, and fun activities
  • Have nightmares or other sleep problems
  • Become irritable, disruptive, or angry
  • Struggle with school and homework
  • Complain of physical problems
  • Develop unfounded fears
  • Feel depressed, emotionally numb, or guilt over what happened

Adolescents age 12 to 17 may:

  • Have flashbacks to the event, nightmares, or other sleep problems
  • Avoid reminders of the event
  • Abuse drugs, alcohol, or tobacco
  • Be disruptive, disrespectful, or destructive
  • Have physical complaints
  • Feel isolated, guilty, or depressed
  • Lose interest in hobbies and interests
  • Have suicidal thoughts

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

Whatever the age of your child, it’s important to offer extra reassurance and support following a traumatic event. A child’s reaction to a disaster or traumatic event can be greatly influenced by their parents’ response, so it’s important to educate yourself about traumatic stress

The more you know about the symptoms, effects, and treatment options, the better equipped you’ll be to help your child recover. With your love and support, the unsettling thoughts and feelings of traumatic stress can start to fade and your child’s life can return to normal in the days or weeks following the event.

Traumatic stress recovery tip 1: Minimize media exposure

Children who’ve experienced a traumatic event can often find relentless media coverage to be further traumatizing. Excessive exposure to images of a disturbing event—such as repeatedly viewing video clips on social media or news sites—can even create traumatic stress in children or teens who were not directly affected by the event.

Limit your child’s media exposure to the traumatic event. Don’t let your child watch the news or check social media just before bed, and make use of parental controls on the TV, computer, and tablet to prevent your child from repeatedly viewing disturbing footage.

As much as you can, watch news reports of the traumatic event with your child. You can reassure your child as you’re watching and help place information in context.

Avoid exposing your child to graphic images and videos. It’s often less traumatizing for a child or teen to read the newspaper rather than watch television coverage or view video clips of the event.

Tip 2: Engage your child

You can’t force your child to recover from traumatic stress, but you can play a major role in the healing process by simply spending time together and talking face to face, free from TV, games, and other distractions. Do your best to create an environment where your kids feel safe to communicate what they’re feeling and to ask questions.

Provide your child with ongoing opportunities to talk about what they went through or what they’re seeing in the media. Encourage them to ask questions and express their concerns but don’t force them to talk.

Acknowledge and validate your child’s concerns. The traumatic event may bring up unrelated fears and issues in your child. Comfort for your child comes from feeling understood and accepted by you, so acknowledge their fears even if they don’t seem relevant to you.

Reassure your child. The event was not their fault, you love them, and it’s OK for them to feel upset, angry, or scared.

Don’t pressure your child into talking. It can be very difficult for some kids to talk about their traumatic experience. A young child may find it easier to draw a picture illustrating their feelings rather than talk about them. You can then talk with your child about what they’ve drawn.

Be honest. While you should tailor the information you share according to your child’s age, it’s important to be honest. Don’t say nothing’s wrong if something is wrong.

Do “normal” things with your child, things that have nothing to do with the traumatic event. Encourage your child to seek out friends and pursue games, sports, and hobbies that they enjoyed before the traumatic event. Go on family outings to the park or beach, enjoy a games night, or watch a funny or uplifting movie together.

Tip 3: Encourage physical activity

Physical activity can burn off adrenaline, release mood-enhancing endorphins, and help your child to sleep better at night.

  • Find a sport that your child enjoys. Activities such as basketball, soccer, running, martial arts, or swimming that require moving both the arms and legs can help rouse your child’s nervous system from that “stuck” feeling that often follows a traumatic experience.
  • Offer to participate in sports, games, or physical activities with your child. If they seem resistant to get off the couch, play some of their favorite music and dance together. Once a child gets moving, they’ll start to feel more energetic.
  • Encourage your child to go outside to play with friends or a pet and blow off steam.
  • Schedule a family outing to a hiking trail, swimming pool, or park.
  • Take younger children to a playground, activity center, or arrange play dates.

Tip 4: Rebuild trust and safety

Trauma can alter the way a child sees the world, making it suddenly seem a much more dangerous and frightening place. Your child may find it more difficult to trust both their environment and other people. You can help by rebuilding your child’s sense of safety and security.

Create routines. Establishing a predictable structure and schedule to your child’s or teen’s life can help to make the world seem more stable again. Try to maintain regular times for meals, homework, and family activities.

Minimize stress at home. Try to make sure your child has space and time for rest, play, and fun.

Manage your own stress. The more calm, relaxed, and focused you are, the better you’ll be able to help a child overcome traumatic stress.

Speak of the future and make plans. This can help counteract the common feeling among traumatized children that the future is scary, bleak, and unpredictable.

Keep your promises. You can help to rebuild your child’s trust by being trustworthy. Be consistent and follow through on the things you say you’re going to do.

If you don’t know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to admit it. Don’t jeopardize your child’s trust in you by making something up.

Remember that children often personalize situations. They may worry about their own safety even if the traumatic event occurred far away. Reassure your child and help place the situation in context.

When to seek treatment for your child’s traumatic stress

They need help from a mental health professional—preferably a trauma specialist. You need to seek immediate assistance both to know how to handle it and make their life more bearable and easier to heal, as well as they receive proper medical treatment.

Traumatic stress warning signs

  1. It’s been six weeks, and your child is not feeling any better
  2. Your child is having trouble functioning at school
  3. Your child is experiencing terrifying memories, nightmares, or flashbacks
  4. The symptoms of traumatic stress may appear as physical complaints such as headaches, stomach pains, or sleep disturbances
  5. Your child is having an increasingly difficult time relating to friends and family
  6. Your child or teen is experiencing suicidal thoughts
  7. Your child is avoiding more and more things that remind them of the traumatic event

More help for traumatic stress

Resources and references

Keep reading

Does anyone else have someone where seeing their face makes you relive memories and retraumatizes you, and certain places do it, and certain things that happen do it, and just basically wtf so many things just make you think of the traumatic event and bring so much pain

Alcohol Overdose

Alcohol is a poison

It may not seem like it but alcohol is a poison and can sometimes have lethal consequences. Your body can only process one unit of alcohol an hour. Drink a lot in a short space of time and the amount of alcohol in the blood can stop the body from working properly.

It can:

  • Slow down your brain functions so you lose your sense of balance.
  • Irritate the stomach which causes vomiting and it stops your gag reflex from working properly – you can choke on, or inhale, your own vomit into your lungs.
  • Affect the nerves that control your breathing and heartbeat, stopping both.
  • Dehydrate you, which can cause permanent brain damage.
  • Lower the body’s temperature, which can lead to hypothermia.
  • Lower your blood sugar levels, so you could have seizures.

Alcohol poisoning symptoms

It can be a very fine line. One minute your house guest is stupidly drunk, the next they’ve become dangerously intoxicated.

Being aware of alcohol poisoning symptoms is crucial, because if a person you care about is suffering from acute alcohol poisoning, they will be in no state to help themselves.

Symptoms to look out for are:

  • Confusion
  • Loss of coordination
  • Vomiting
  • Seizures
  • Irregular or slow breathing (less than eight breaths a minute)
  • Blue-tinged or pale skin
  • Low body temperature (hypothermia)
  • Stupor – when someone’s conscious but unresponsive
  • Unconsciousness – passing out
  • Find out the effects alcohol can have on your brain and stomach.

What should you do?

If they are conscious and responsive:

  • Stay with them. Check often to make sure they are still conscious and responsive.
  • Make certain that they stay on their side, not their back. See The Bacchus Maneuver
  • Before you touch them, tell them exactly what you are going to do. Be aware of any signs of aggression. Do not ridicule, judge, threaten, or try to counsel them.
  • Remain calm and be firm. Avoid communicating feelings of anxiety or anger.
  • Keep them quiet and comfortable. If they are in the sun, move them to the shade. If cold, move them to a warm place and offer a blanket.
  • Don’t give them food, drink, or medication of any kind.
  • Remember that only time will sober up a drunk person. Walking, showering, or drinking coffee will not help and may actually cause harm.


  • Leave someone to sleep it off. The amount of alcohol in someone’s blood continues to rise even when they’re not drinking. That’s because alcohol in the digestive system carries on being absorbed into the bloodstream. Too much alcohol in the blood stops the body working properly.
  • Give them a coffee. Alcohol dehydrates the body. Coffee will make someone who is already dehydrated even more so. Severe dehydration can cause permanent brain damage.
  • Make them sick. Their gag reflex won’t be working properly which means they could choke on their vomit.
  • Walk them around. Alcohol is a depressant which slows down your brain’s functions and affects your sense of balance. Walking them around might cause accidents.
  • Put them under a cold shower. Alcohol lowers your body temperature, which could lead to hypothermia. A cold shower could make them colder than they already are.
  • Let them drink any more alcohol. The amount of alcohol in their bloodstream could become dangerously high.

If the person is unconscious, semi-conscious, or unresponsive, check for these symptoms of alcohol or drug overdose:

  • Cannot be roused and are unresponsive to your voice, shaking, or pinching their skin.
  • Skin is cold, clammy, pale, bluish, and/or blotchy.
  • Breathing is slow - eight or fewer breaths per minute.
  • Experience lapses in breathing - more than 10 seconds between breaths.
  • Exhibit mental confusion, stupor, or coma.
  • Have seizures, convulsions, or rigid spasms.
  • Vomit while asleep or unconscious and do not awaken.

Courtesy of Aware, Awake, Alive

If any of these symptoms of alcohol overdose exist, call 911, 000. 119, etc for help, and while waiting for emergency personnel:

  • Gently turn them onto his/her side and into the Bacchus Maneuver position.
  • Don’t leave them alone at any time and be prepared to administer CPR.
  • Remember that there is a chance that a person who has passed out may not ever regain consciousness and there is a serious risk that death could occur.

What can happen if an alcohol overdose goes untreated?

  • A person could choke on their vomit.
  • Breathing may slow down, become irregular, and stop.
  • Heart may beat irregularly and stop.
  • Hypothermia (low body temperature).
  • Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), which can lead to seizures.
  • Severe dehydration from vomiting, which can cause seizures, permanent brain damage, or death.

There is no minimum amount of alcohol that could cause alcohol poisoning

It’s true that binge drinking is often the cause of alcohol poisoning. But not always. It depends on your age, sex, size, weight, how fast you’ve been drinking, how much you’ve eaten, your general health and other drugs you might have taken.

This is why it is so important to stick within the government’s low risk guidelines. Both men and women are advised not to drink more than 14 units a week. But to keep short-term risks (like accidents or injury) from drinking low the advice is to limit how much you drink on one occasion.

Seek medical help for a friend who has had too much to drink. Your friend may become angry or embarrassed if you call 911, but it’s better to have them alive and angry than dead.


- Drinkaware.uk Alcohol Poisoning

- HealthyHorns University of Texas

The Traumatic Horror of ‘Lovely Molly’ by Chris Evangelista

Molly stares into the camera, a woman undone, with bleary eyes close to the color of the red REC icon tucked away in the top right of the screen. She shivers and shakes, ready to make her confession. “Whatever happened,” she says in a quivering voice, “it wasn’t me.” She produces a knife from off camera, pressing the blade up tight to her throat before pulling it away. “He won’t let me,” she exhales.

This confessional start to 2011’s Lovely Molly will seem familiar. It’s the same sort of tearful, emotional, one-on-one-with-the-camera breakdown made famous in 1999’s The Blair Witch Project, where documentarian Heather apologizes for dragging her cohorts into certain doom. That familiarity isn’t an accident—both Lovely Molly and Blair Witch came from the same filmmaker, Eduardo Sánchez. Yet while The Blair Witch Project has entered the horror pantheon, Lovely Molly has slipped through the cracks. This film did not benefit from the same “is it real?” hype that lifted Blair Witch and it takes a different approach to fear, using its slow, cerebral sense of dread to explore mental illness. But its blurred line between supernatural horror and mental illness is equally compelling. Unlike Blair Witch, Lovely Molly is not purely a “found footage” film but a commingling of traditional narrative style and the mysterious, voyeuristic footage that Molly films with her mini-DV camera. The film traffics in a queasy, unentertaining dread that even Blair Witch didn’t approach. The plot is similar to the wildly popular first Paranormal Activity film but found none of the same renown. Perhaps this is because instead of being filled with harmless jumps and loud bangs that fade from your mind the minute you exit the theater, Lovely Molly is more visceral, more unrelenting. It’s an unpleasant film, riddled with open, still-bleeding wounds of trauma. It is, at heart, a horror film about abuse, and the ghosts that linger long after the abuse has ceased.

Lovely Molly evolved organically. On the director’s commentary for the Blu-ray release, Sánchez says the film was originally going to be more “Blair Witch-y,” implying a rougher, jerkier experience, until cinematographer John W. Rutland turned it into something “more polished.” The house the film was using for production was owned by an equestrian, and consequently filled with horse images and memorabilia. As a result, Sánchez layered a surprisingly ominous undertone involving horses: heavy sounds of hooves clattering in dark hallways; the wet, thick sound of horses exhaling; hints of the demon Orobas, a horse-headed creature dubbed in demonology as “Great Prince of Hell.” The horse element is never fully explained, though, which makes it all the more eerie and unnerving.

The setup of the film recalls other nasty pieces of work, such as the late Andrzej Żuławski’s 1981 mind-fuck minefield Possession and Lars von Trier’s cabin-in-the-woods horror by way of genital mutilation Antichrist: a couple is torn asunder under potentially supernatural circumstances, the female disintegrating into a murderous eldritch horror while the male watches, helpless and horrified. After the alarming confessional opening, Lovely Molly backtracks to a more pleasant experience, the wedding of Molly (Gretchen Lodge) and Tim (Johnny Lewis). It’s your typical wedding, although there are hints of a troubled past: Molly and her sister Hannah’s parents are both dead, and Molly and Tim immediately move into the house Molly and Hannah grew up in, despite the fact that their father met an apparently bloody end within its walls.

The house, a brick colonial-style farmhouse nestled on a dark path, looms large and uninviting, as does the memory of Molly’s father. Glimpsed only in family photographs, there’s an unspecified darkness to the man, and to the legacy he’s imprinted. Molly pulls a sheet from the dead man’s favorite arm chair after she finds it in storage, and rarely before has a simple chair seemed so ominous.

The trouble starts almost immediately. The house’s burglar alarm goes off at random during the night, and Molly and Tim find the back door—a door Tim insists he locked—wide open. Tim is a truck driver, and as a result there are long stretches where Molly is home alone. Whenever she returns home from her janitorial job, she sees the light in her childhood bedroom window burning, and whenever she enters that room, there’s an electronic, insect-like buzz in the air. Something happened in this room, something unspeakable. Molly hears whimpers from the closet, and when she opens the closet door she sees something we never do—and she reaches her hand out to it, her fingers twitching. She’s reaching out to the terrible, unrelenting past, inviting it into the present.

So much of what makes Lovely Molly terrifying is Gretchen Lodge’s utterly fearless lead performance. Molly falls apart as the film progresses, and there’s never a single moment where her deterioration doesn’t seem believable. Much like the raw terror present on Blair Witch’s Heather, Lodge’s Molly truly seems in peril. She’s coming apart at the seams, as if someone were slowly pulling out her guts inch by excruciating inch. Part of the original pitch of Lovely Molly was about a woman recording her own demonic possession, and the idea of losing one’s spouse to a different mental state still resonates here. When Tim suggests Molly go see a doctor as her mental state deteriorates, she replies, “We don’t have health insurance.” These characters are still thinking in non-supernatural terms—a trip to the doctor might help, but they can’t afford it, so it’s best to wait this out. Later, when they finally relent and see a doctor, he doesn’t offer much help. “Physically, she’s fine,” the doctor blandly tells Tim while Molly isn’t present, prescribing some sleeping pills to treat Molly’s exhaustion. “What if they don’t work?” Tim asks. “These’ll put her down pretty fast,” the doctor says, as if he were talking about a lame animal that needed to be put out of its misery. Tim replies that’s not what he meant. “What if…” he pauses before finishing, “…what if she becomes dangerous?”

Lovely Molly toys with its audience this way. What’s happening to Molly can either be explained as an actual supernatural attack, or mental illness. Or maybe it’s both, one exacerbating the other. It’s revealed that after Molly and Hannah’s mother died, their father changed for the worse. And while it’s never said aloud, it’s heavily implied he sexually abused Molly. “He told me he would stop,” Hannah recounts when the sisters have a tearful discussion after one particularly disturbing episode involving Molly and a dead deer she casually stashes away in the house. After their father’s death, Molly deteriorated into drug use and eventually ended up hospitalized, but there’s a real sense that she never truly received treatment for her traumatic childhood. Instead, it’s something pushed away, hidden in the darkest recesses of her mind. Like the memory of her father, Molly’s mental illness looms, and waits, biding its time. Waiting to ruin everything.

At one point, Tim comes home to find Molly sitting nude in her childhood bedroom, staring into the empty corner. “He’s alive,” she tells Tim in a flat, affectless voice. The “he” in question is, of course, Molly’s father. Late one night, Tim finds Molly talking to herself in the kitchen. She claims she’s talking to her father, whom Tim can’t see. “Show yourself!” Molly screams to the empty air, demanding her dead father make his presence known to her husband. But of course, he is making his presence known through Molly’s complete emotional breakdown. Even if there are no supernatural forces at work in Lovely Molly, this is a ghost story through and through, where the ghost is the horrible, unforgettable past. The demon is a type of PTSD with its claws deep in Molly’s fractured, untreated psyche.

12 Steps Programs

12 Step Programs for Sex and Sex Addiction to beware for:


The Twelve Steps | A small study and analysis

Below are the 12 Steps in their entirety, as originally published by Alcoholics Anonymous, the original 12 Step program. But each 12 Step group modifies the words “alcohol and / or alcoholic” to suit its specific purpose.

Also the term “God” can be understood as any “Higher Power” including the power of the group itself. It is left open to interpretation for the victim.

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol [this word changes, according to program] —that our lives had become unmanageable.

[ This is not entirely a bad thing, but when an abuser partakes in this behavior and decides they are powerless to their necessity and desire to bring harm to a victim, they will scorn and berate the victim for being affected by it. It commonly ends in more violence for the victim and oftentimes enabling of the abuse. ]

Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

[ This is simply downright extremely ableist. You have not lost your sanity, you are mentally ill and there is quite a difference between “losing your sanity” and being ill. Normally you’d think that one seeks help or tries to work into living with harmony with their mental illness, but in this case they leave these symptoms and issues to an unidentified “higher power”, this can make things worse. Of course it works for some, but this is not a good way to look into life and trauma and it’s harmful and ableist. ] 

Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

[ Understood what? Turn our physical, emotional and safety will over to a higher power that has no power over the life of a person? Please make sense. Again this isn’t exactly bad, and in fact I think this is one of the most dangerous step, you’re turning your will toward a religious figure instead of willing Yourself FOR yourself. ]

Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

[ This isn’t sane. This is simply not sane, this can give place for extreme levels of victim blaming and ableism. Your moral inventory is, to beging with, irrelevant to your trauma and your neurodivergence as a result of it, and seeking a moral ground in a psychology exclusive field is toxic and harmful. ]

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

[ What wrongs?! This is outright blatant victim blaming, in all cases of victimization this is not the victim’s fault and the victim has done no wrong, abusers can use this against the victims and it enables abusive verbal speech against the victims. “You did wrongs too!” basically is a weapon for abusers to berate a victim into submission. ]

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

[ So basically goodbye personality and mental illness that are going to be – Oh wait more abusive language. Yes, as a matter of fact this is abusive behavior. UNLESS we’re talking about things like “I throw garbage on the side of the road” or “I yelled at the person at starbucks”, victims should not be held to abuse perpretator standards. ]

Step 7 - Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

[ Exactly what was the shortcoming? As victims we shouldn’t have to be treated as if we did anything wrong, if you went soccer mom on someone, apologize yes, yes if you did something wrong you should be held in contempt and apologize as soon as you take responsibility for it. But this is a group for people who have suffered any kind of sexual, physical or emotional violence. This does not apply for them. ]

Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

[ Again: This does not apply to victims and is downright ableist. ]

Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

[ See above. ]

Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

[ Okay for a change this is actually a good thing, yes acknowledge your wrongs and take responsibility for them, but as the victim you should not be held under these standards, the abuser should. ]

Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His Will for us and the power to carry that out.

[ This works for people who practice I guess, I am not religious and therefore have no opinion. ]

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics [this word changes, according to program], and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

[ jesus christ. ] 

NOTE: For me, one of the things that truly sets 12 Step Programs apart is the set of principals by which they run.

These are called the 12 Traditions and are unique to such organizations.

Conclusion: In the case a support group for victims at least come up with your own standards and steps, instead these people are using the same stuff as in AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) which makes it seem as if the victim is in the wrong and it is extremely harmful. If you need help PLEASE seek professional help and avoid these groups.

But like also I’m glad that I’m at the point with specific traumas that when the PTSD is set off that I feel less THE WORLD IS ENDING and more AH FUCK OFF WITH THIS INCONVENIENT NONSENSE ALREADY


Please take in mind this was written in 2012, their resources are numerous. However I have not investigated the writer and they do not seem to be a medical professional. Please read this under your own point of view.

December 2, 2012 || By C. A. Sheckels

A few years ago, when I first heard “Alcoholics Anonymous (and its related 12-step programs) is a cult,” I had never even considered that point of view. Since then, I’ve encountered a wide range of people– individuals and groups– who consistently stated it is, often with a wide range of facts to back up their viewpoint. I believe the issue can be addressed in simple terms:

“Offer people what they think they want- and then it’s ‘Gotcha’!”

It is quite similar to something I experienced many years ago. When visiting relatives in a different state, I encountered “Moonies”– followers of Sun Myung Moon’s “Unification Church." 

Fortunately, as I was a well-informed individual, I knew what the Moonies were all about before I saw the television special or encountered them in person. The t.v. special was stunning: young people all asserting the importance of "God! Country! Family!”– subjects most people in America considered to be of the utmost importance. The point: the t.v. special presented the Moonies as being in tune with American values– making it sound very appealing to anyone who did not know the facts.

Logically, what the Moonies did not even hint at was what happens when people “take the bait– and get sucked into it.”

Similarly, 12-step programs also use “bait.” Whether a person has an addiction, or a life problem that is not even connected to any addictions, A.A. and its counterparts have “a vision for you.” While many people are literally forced into 12-step programs, and others are coerced into the programs, a large percentage of individuals who end up in A.A. and its counterparts simply “took the bait.”

The “bait” used by A.A. is the same as that of any other cult: “Offer people what they think they want- and then it’s 'Gotcha’!” And, similar to the Moonies and other cults, an individual does not know what will happen afterward.

From my point of view, the biggest “piece of bait” used by Alcoholics Anonymous is what the program calls “Step Three.” Whether a person has an addiction or an unrelated life problem, Step Three can sound very appealing. The way it reads is: “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” If a person is struggling with any serious issue, there are actually two parts of that statement that can sound very appealing.

One appealing part is to hear and believe your God will help you and take care of you. The other appealing part is that it is your decision.

However, if you “take the bait,” that is when you will find “the rules change.”

First, for all of the initial talk about “The God of your understanding,” and Your Higher Power,” many find this entire concept disappears very quickly. You no longer have “your” God, but “their” God. If your belief is a Biblically-based religion that is not in tune with fundamentalist christianity, or if you belong to a religion that is not Biblically-based, or if you do not believe in any “Higher Power” at all, you are expected to change. “Your” God– or lack thereof– is not o.k., is not acceptable.

Second, the part about 'making a decision’ also sounds appealing. Whatever an individual’s personal situation may be, 'making a decision’ emphasizes self-determination and free will. The catch: if you make that decision via a 12-step program’s Step Three, it could very well be the last 'decision’ you ever make.

Why? because the 'rules’ change.

Even if you are an average adult, you will begin to hear you can no longer make the decisions for your own life. If you are involved with 12-step programs, and look at this statement very clearly, you will see you are not making your decisions, 'the God of your understanding’ isn’t– instead,others in “the Program” are attempting to do it for you.

This can easily be covered by what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., once said about beingVictimized: “I cannot adequately assume responsibility as a person- because I have been made the victim of a decision in which I played no part.”

Now, how can something like this happen in, or to, the lives of adults? surely there are individuals who, for whatever their reasons, actually prefer a way of life that consists of 'others’ telling them what to do, and/or 'holding their hands’ every step of the way. Perhaps such people are very ill, very immature, or some other factor.

However– most adults are not in this category; most adults, with or without addictions or other life problems, not only want to make the decisions for their own lives, and are perfectly capable of doing so, but have the legal and moral right to do so.

The catch: that’s not the way the 'program’ works. Individuals who do not buy into the changing of the rules, and do not hand over their lives or the decisions for their lives to 'groups,’ 'sponsors,’ or other 'members,’ can find themselves on the receiving-end of various attacks. 

If you do not willingly surrender yourself, your life, and your decisions to individuals in the Program, you will be attacked. Some are content to look at such people in a pitying way; some haul out the psychobabble you hear often in these programs; and others take their methods of destruction much further.

When discussing the negativity of 12-step programs, there is a point that bears noting: even the literature states the only difference between an “oldtimer” and a “newcomer” is the length of time each has abstained from drug or alcohol use. The literature states that no one in a program has any professional capacity– and knows no more about anything than the average person (and often less). So what it comes down to is “the blind leading the blind”– while at the same time attempting to “take power in your life that they do not deserve.”

Either way you look at this, it is destructive and potentially dangerous. If you do not willingly surrender yourself, you will be attacked or ostracized. The normal adult factors of making the decisions for one’s own life and living one’s own life are not recognized as the right to free will and self-determination, or maturity and stability, but “sick,” “in denial,” or “not getting the Program.” On the other hand, if you do simply grant them that power, your life is no longer your own.

In conclusion, as the Unification Church takes advantage of individuals who took the bait without realizing what they were in for, and proceeded to manipulate and control every single aspect of those individuals’ lives, changing the rules and demanding individuals comply, you will have exactly the same experiences if you become involved with a 12-step program.

So if you have any objections about individuals who have completely screwed up their own lives demanding to take control over yours, a 12-step program is not for you. If you are not inclined to look at A.A. and its counterparts as cults, look at the evidence. And if a life that is actually your own is what you want, the “decision” you make should reflect that it is.

Just abuse things

- “you arent mad at me right? Oh my god you are! IM SORRY”
- “is this my for me? Can I use this? Can I drink this? Can I-”
- “pls help me make this decision for me”
- “do what you please!!!” “What if that makes everyone mad at me”
-studying people intensely because you are afraid you might do something that will make them mad
- Saying something in a tone louder than usual and feeling like this is your last day alive
- low self stem
- feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted after expressing any sort of feeling and crying right after that
- when someone talks or does something in an attitude thats not usual from them and Knowing That It’s Your Fault
- “i dont deserve this why are you doing this for me”
- not knowing the difference between a joke, sarcasm, and passive aggressive speech
- unhealthily clinging to anyone who’s remotely nice to you
- not knowing what to say NEVER
- not knowing how to react to compliments, nice words, genuine care or anything like that and feeling incredibly sick at the thought of someone genuinely loving you
- Crying.
- having to explain every single movement and word you do and say to literally anyone
- being really good at lying and pretending as a survival strategy
- Not living, surviving.
- calculating and overthinking everything you do and say, the time you say it, how you say it, the expression you have when you say it, your voice tone…everything
- getting panic attacks over the tiniest things
- unhealthily clinging to fictional characters and shows
- lack of energy to do anything because you use a lot of effort in every single movement you do
- “im useless”
- when someone compliments you on something and you needing to be Perfect at it because then you dont have any reason to live
- intrusive thoughts
- Perfectionism
- Over sensitiveness
- “It’s my fault.”
- not knowing how to react about criticism
- Isolation
- getting startled when someone touches you
- being hyperaware of your surroundings and at the same time having no time and space perception
- believing everything everyone says
- Feeling like any day is your last day

i’m glad everyone is falling in love with harley quinn. just remember that she suffers from severe ptsd, that her relationship with the joker is highly abusive, and that in the comic she’s worked hard to recover her own sense of identity after finally leaving him. DO NOT ROMANTICIZE HER ABUSE.

(also ivy is harley’s polyamorous soulmate. pass it along)






Fuck what you’ve been told, forgiving and forgetting doesn’t always work