PRAISE-THEM

anonymous asked:

I agree 100% with that last paragraph u wrote. I've always loved Camila a little bit more when she was in 5h but it was easy to just say I loved them all equal bc although I love them all individually I especially loved the way they all were together, but now that Camila left it's really hard to watch 5h bc it just feels like there's a big missing Camila shaped hole 😕 and I get that it was best that Camila left, but the way the label/management handled it is terrible and made things sm worse

“Camila shaped hole” - you read my mind anon 

And yeah the way things were handled really made things complicated for the fans, but what can we say? a feud makes money

I definitely think things would’ve been much easier if the girls were still talking to each other publicly and supporting each other - how fucking wonderful that would’ve been! To have them praise each other and sing along to each other’s single on the radio - that would’ve been fucking glorious

ATTENTION ALL LITTLES!

💖It’s ok for littles to help care for other littles that don’t have a CG or ones that have bad CGs.💖

It’s our job as littles to help look after our lonely friends!

🐧It’s really simple! You can be in or out of little/ middle space for this.🐧

What you need to do is ask them basic questions.

🍽 have you eaten
🐝 have you taken your morning/afternoon/ evening medication
🐳 did you drink water today
🌲 did you take time for yourself away from electronics for 20 minutes
👖did you change your clothes
😴 did you sleep at least 5 hours

Being a friend could really change their life! Littles that have trouble keeping self care at the top of their to-do list may be very appreciative of the time you spent just asking if they took care of themselves.

Praise them and let them know you are so very glad to know them and that they are doing their personal best.

Never scold a little who struggles with personal care, just help remind them as best as you can!

Ahmad Ibn ‘Umar Ibn Abdullaah recited in one of his poems:

We sincerely ask Allaah for leaders who are His close allies;
For good in the deen and the dunya comes from good leaders.

People are united and joined in giving them the highest praise;
And with them, Allaah’s laws are established and maintained upon the transgressors;
And they are a benefit to us in places of difficulty and hardship;

Knowledge disappears, as the scholars disappear;
For they are the ones who support Allaah’s Deen in the vast earth;
So we ask Allaah to reward them commendably.

[Jaami’ Bayaan Al-‘Ilm, of Ibn ‘Abdil-Barr, 1/184]

Be a nice DM!

- Learn all of their names and their characters well.
- Be available for any questions or concerns.
- Don’t get defensive if they have an issue with something you’ve done.
- Listen to what they say in-character, study them well.
- Listen to what they say out-of-character, and learn what their preferences are.
- Give them some easy quests to start out with, so all of you can get accustomed to each other’s play style.
- Praise them when they do wonderful, creative things.
- Pay attention to the backgrounds or stories they give their characters. Make plenty of notes and study them!
- Respect that they have worked hard on creating their part of this story.
- Greet them warmly when they arrive every single session, and put them at ease.
- Smile with all the love and care that you have in you.
- Then unleash your carefully curated and well-crafted plot using all of their weaknesses and backstories that you’ve learned, maintaining your smile as you watch the pure horror creep up on each of their faces.

how to make the venus signs feel special

- Aries: Tell them you’ll stay even when they push away. Tell them you love them just the way they are and they don’t have to change for you. Give them a sense of self and freedom. Give them a place to return to at the end of the day.

- Taurus: Tell them you want a home with them. Tell them that a future with them is brighter than the sun and that you’ve never felt as secure as you do with them in your arms. Give them a sense of comfort and safety. Give them your all.

- Gemini: Tell them…wait no, shhh. Let them tell you their thoughts and feelings. Let them tell you all the beautiful things on their mind and pour their heart out through eloquent speeches. Give them a sense of curiosity and freedom to ramble. Give them your attention and listening ears.

- Cancer: Tell them they don’t have to worry about you leaving. Tell them they’re safe from anything and everything and that you’ll protect them. Give them a sense of love and loyalty. Give them your heart and soul.

- Leo: Tell them how beautiful and amazing they are. Tell them you’ve never seen a star that shined nearly as bright. Give them a sense of adoration and wonder. Give them your praise and acceptance.

- Virgo: Tell them thank you for everything they do. Tell them you’ve never met someone so reliable and dependable. Give them a sense of self worth and satisfaction. Give them your gratitude and appreciation.

- Libra: Tell them how beautiful their spirit is. Tell them how their charm and intelligence intrigues you. Give them a sense of self love and endless support. Give them your open heart and mind.

- Scorpio: Tell them you’ll never abandon them. Tell them your deepest fear is a life without them in it and that you’d cross the earth to be close to them. Give them a sense of dedication and intensity. Give them your entire being.

- Sagittarius: Tell them you want to see the world with them. Tell them when you look into their eyes…you do. Give them a sense of adventure and freedom. Give them a home away from home.

- Capricorn: Tell them you won’t betray them or use them. Tell them they can depend on someone other than themselves finally. Give them a sense of support and trust. Give them a foundation that will never crumble.

- Aquarius: Tell them you love how different and unique they are. Tell them you’ve never met anyone like them and they’ve made your world better. Give them a sense of identity and belonging. Give them your world.

- Pisces: Tell them they’re a dream come true. Tell them they make flowers bloom in the darkest of times. Give them a sense of purpose and care. Give them an escape from reality.

i hate how being bioware critical apparently means u dont love the games they put out like … shut up, bioware fucks up constantly, bioware has done things so bad they make me feel sick ranging from the way they write characters to the way they design women to the disgusting things bioware staff have said on social media —

but i love bioware’s games? i love them. nowhere is more home for me than in  thedas, sitting around the campfire with zevran and morrigan or running around skyhold and kirkwall. i adore, so much, running around every version of the normandy, getting lost in the citadel, every beat of the romance with garrus, everything about miranda lawson’s character and being scared shitless of collectors

that doesn’t mean i have to sit back and praise them and to be honest i’m getting tired of the fact i feel like i have to quantify “this bioware thing is bad” with “but i love it/this game anyway” like stop being so self absorbed that you can’t see any reason why anyone would criticise this stuff

and yea im talking about criticism, not randomised hate, yet another distinction i can’t believe i have to make because theres always one asshole who comes out saying “[x] isnt criticism tho” like fucker do i look like im talking about that

I love the mcelboys and am glad they apologized but

You can’t praise them for listening to their fans and being compassionate and handling criticism so well and in the same breath condemn anyone who criticizes them!

They would not have the brand and the fanbase that they do if no one ever criticized them!

They’ve never been anything but grateful and courteous in response to people’s pointing out the flaws in their work so to turn around and go “oh I’m so sorry all the sjws are bullying you” at them every time this happens, and to try to shield them like this, and intimidate and shame people who speak up, is frankly insulting!

They’re grown men, who should be able to take criticism, and guess what? They can and do!

To act as if Griffin and the rest of the McElroy family need to be “defended” from people who are only trying to help them make their content even better and more inclusive, even people who are hurt and angry but still take the time to make their feelings known! Is ridiculous, and missing the point entirely. They’ve built their entire image around being kind people who care about their impact, and listen to criticism, and when you demonize people who bring these things to their attention, you’re obstructing that process at best, and part of the problem at worst.

BTS in Bed (Based on Their Venus and Mars Signs) - Maknae Line

warning: mature content, longg detailed post ahead

Hyung Line version here.

Originally posted by delightfullyfree95

Jimin - Scorpio Venus Scorpio Mars

  • remember that dark side of his that i mentioned earlier?
  • inside that cute mochi is a real f r e a k
  • his scorpio venus AND mars are a lethal combo
  • scorpio mars exudes power 
  • the sexiest and most seductive in the entire zodiac
  • sex to them is more than the act
  • it holds a lot of significance and often rules their lives
  • definitely not one who’d be up for one night stands with a stranger
  • they not only want to merge with their partner physically, but also emotionally and spiritually
  • want to own their partner in every sense of the word
  • extremely prone to jealously and possessiveness
  • during the act, he drips raw passion and intensity
  • dom!!!
  • and a rough one at that
  • remember how bts says he’s the scariest when he’s mad?
  • that explosive scorpio mars is not one to mess with
  • k i n k y
  • some of his many dark fantasies include:
  • bondage
  • body worship
  • daddy kink 
  • anal play
  • his partner wearing lingerie
  • just for him to rip it off (literally)
  • god didnt give him those lips for no reason
  • oral
  • libra is all about balance so he’d love 69 where he can work his magic while also getting some action
  • every guy loves blowjobs but he would especially because genitals are the erogenous zone for scorpio marses, making them especially sensitive
  • t e a s i n g
  • any dirty talk that has to do with possession
  • “who do you belong to?”
  • praise kink
  • is aroused by being wanted
  • hickies (that u cant hide)
  • he can bottom but he wont sub
  • power bottom
  • although his way of loving may be rough and powerful, he still cares deeply for his partner
  • and wouldn’t do anything that they’re uncomfortable with
  • his gentle libra sun emerges during aftercare when hes making sure they’re okay and praising them for being good
  • in conclusion, a real life sex god
  • (if u dont believe any of this i suggest u go check out his spotify playlist)

Originally posted by jiminimised

Keep reading

yamchathedestroyer  asked:

Introduce me to kpop. What is a BTS.

where to start omg

ok well basically BTS (bangtan sonyeondan) is this group of 7 korean boys who make dope music and they’re basically a family (jin = mom, namjoon = dad, suga = uncle, jhope = aunt and the 3 youngest are the kids) and they debuted in june 2013. since then they’ve gotten HUGEE both in korea & internationally and this fandom is called ARMY and lemme warn u, once u join it’s pretty much a life sentence :’)

Originally posted by bang-tan

if u wanna get to know the members here’s a very brief intro:

Rap Monster (Kim Namjoon):

Originally posted by taestylips

  • leader
  • producer & writer of a lot of their songs
  • Bang PD (CEO of BigHit, their company) said he created BTS because of namjoon 
  • so without him there wouldn’t have been bts ugh my heart has so much room for namjoon
  • ANYWAY. HE’S SUPER TALENTED AND HE’S ONLY 22, released a mixtape titled “RM” that got on the Top 50 Hip Hop Albums of 2015 by US SPIN which is amazing (you should take a listen)
  • known to break things he touches
  • is actually very soft and nerdy on days when he’s not Rap Monster aka spitting pure fire into the mic on stage
  • part of the 2 man No Dance Line with Jin (but honestly both of them are way better dancers than u and i will ever be)
  • posts outfit of the day pics on twitter with hashtag #KimDaily

Jin (Kim Seokjin):

Originally posted by bts0726

  • oldest member, born in 1992
  • GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL AND FLAWLESS (AND HE KNOWS IT)
  • #CONFIDENCEGOALS
  • became trending as #cardoorguy after he walked out of their car to walk the red carpet in 2015 melon music awards because ppl wanted to know who this handsome bastard was
  • cooks for the other members :’) thus the nickname of being the mom in the group
  • likes the nickname of Pink Princess fans gave him
  • does mukbang shows called Eat Jin where he literally just eats food and gets super excited about it
  • voice of an angel
  • studies acting in university
  • the only one who can put suga in his place

Suga (Min Yoongi)

Originally posted by bwiseoks

  • one of the 3 talented rappers of the group
  • released his mixtape this year “Agust D” (give it a listen) that literally slayed us all
  • struggled in his trainee days and talks about it in his mixtape
  • second oldest, born in 1993
  • not the most talkative but will be savage af when needs to be 
  • aka doesn’t take anyone’s shit
  • also produces and writes their songs
  • his hair color changes like every single era but he somehow pulls off all of them???
  • has a tough exterior but is a soft ball of love past it :’)

J-hope (Jung Hoseok)

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

  • other half of 94 line
  • LITERAL BALL OF SUNSHINE WITH A BRIGHT PERSONALITY THAT LIGHTS UP ANY ROOM HE WALKS IN
  • DANCING MACHINEEEE HOLY SHIT if you watch his “Hope on the street” videos on their v app channel or any bts performance video you’ll see what i mean
  • helps the other members with choreo
  • used to be a street performer before BTS. learned rapping after he joined and he’s hella good at it (listen to his track 1 verse)
  • when will bighit release his forehead again
  • loudest of all of them lmao

JImin (Park Jimin)

Originally posted by jimineh

  • the other half of 95z 
  • (the reason why i got into bts)
  • amazing dancer
  • his vocal skills are also 10/10, hits them high notes as precisely as he hits the choreo
  • I WILL NEVER BE OVER HIS THIC THIGHS #thicthighssavelives
  • a selfless cinnabon, too pure for this world. puts the members before himself, always. it kills me how much he loves them. like he will tweet the most supportive things, is the photographer of #kimdaily and always praises them before himself ughhhhhhhhhh my heart
  • perfectionist
  • his solo song Lies did really well, ranked #2 after their title track on melon charts
  • smol bean

V (Kim Taehyung)

Originally posted by hellosarang

  • other half of 95z (btw if you want to know more about 95z or the other ships, that will have to be another post because i have A LOT to say about them)
  • HAVE U EVER SEEN A HUMAN LOOK SO ANIME THO??? 
  • listen to his deep voice to understand how wonderful of a singer he is
  • actor!!! going to debut in his upcoming drama Hwarang soon :’) 
  • cutie with a soft spot for dogs, his late grandma, babies, and jimin
  • very kind hearted and pure soul
  • rude af on stage tho (if you saw the taejin moment during MAMA u know what i mean)

Jungkook (Jeon Jeongguk)

Originally posted by baebsaes

  • maknae (youngest member), born in 1997 but does not act like it at all
  • nicknamed ‘golden maknae’ cause he can do literally everything and do them well (even bowling)
  • talented af. triple threat (sings, dances and raps)
  • his hyungs all dote on him so much :’)
  • its moving how much he quietly cares for them (his solo song Begin was written based on how he felt like the other members raised him since he joined kpop industry at such a young age and that meant being away from home since he was like 14)
  • MEGA EXTRA. SO FUCKING EXTRA WITH EVERYTHING 
  • has a thing for plain tees
  • has one celeb friend, yugeom from got7 :’)
  • a walking human meme 

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE FEEL FREE TO MSG!! hope this helps

It would have been so super easy for Horikoshi to write All Might as a typical, jaded, cynical hero who actually hates what he does and just wants to dump OFA off onto someone else so he can retire and be grumpy for the rest of his life, but instead he blessed us and made him as human as possible- someone who struggles with very real fears and doubts in himself, but also loves helping people, and he loves Izuku and his students, and is never hesitant to encourage them and offer them praise to help them become the best that they can possibly be and never belittles them.  He’s just such a positive force as a character and I am so so thankful like  

Voltron fic recs, the fourth wall

PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE

So it’s been about six months since I’ve done a fic rec list. I’ve been asked a number of times to do this and I’ve read a lot of fic in that time so uh, I guess some of these are like my greatest hits of the last half year? 

Some are very popular and some are less well-known but no less deserving of praise, so go give them all some love!

As with any rec list, please pay attention to the tags and warnings

Trouble’s Making Everything Alright - 78k (WIP); klance; Keith and Lance crash-land on a lawless, low-tech planet and become rough and tumble mercenaries, donning leather coats and gun holsters, righting wrongs (while committing a few heists of their own) and fighting to get back to their team.

you never stood a chance - 12k; klance; Lance accidentally sends Keith a gym selfie snapchat with the caption “BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS” and promptly freaks out. Turns out to be one of the best mistakes he’s ever made.

King and Reaper - 35k; klance; The story of the destruction of Earth and its aftermath, feat. questionable science in regards to weapons of mass destruction, gratuitous Star Wars references, theoretical chess games with the emperor of most of the known universe, explosions, the greatest bromance of all time, the worst romance of all time and many more things besides.

nothing’s quite as sweet - 50k; klance; Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street. When Keith finds abandoned kittens behind the store and in a panic goes to Lance for help, he kicks off a chain of events that includes kitten cuddles, coffee experimentation and a whole heap of fluff.

Foreign Scenes - 110k; klance; Lance is travelling across Europe and keeps bumping into Keith sneaking past “no trespassing” signs in an attempt to get better photograps. Basically an AU in which Lance and Keith become impromptu travel buddies and get into trouble.

You and I Collide - 55k (WIP); klance; Lance likes to sing in the shower. Keith lives in the apartment next door and the walls are not very thick. And you can bet when Lance wakes him up at 7:30 in the morning, Keith has something to say about it.

Pulsar - 31k (WIP); klance; A story about college, coming to terms with your past, being scared of your future, and running into crazy things like love somewhere in-between.

Ignorance is Bliss - 161k (WIP but almost done); klance; As it turns out, learning that your house is haunted makes the ghosts a lot more aggressive. Who knew? Ah, well. At least one of them is hot. And he’s the less-evil one, too, so that’s always a plus.

the potential of you and me - 15k; klance; The summer after freshman year of college, Lance drags Keith back to their hometown to hang out. But the two of them rarely spend time together without Hunk and Pidge around, because things had a way of getting out of hand real quick. This summer is… no different.

Deepest Shade - 40k (WIP); klance; Lance, idle middle son of the Álvarez family – shippers and traders, backbone of the galaxy, the epitome of self-made wealth – is drifting. Keith Kogane has been a thorn in Lance’s side since the day he was adopted by the powerful rival clan, but he can’t deny that Keith is incredibly attractive. A chance encounter at an Altean dinner party makes him realize the attraction might be mutual.

How to be Genuine in Relationships

1. Try to be as natural as you can when you’re with others. Just be “you”. Don’t put on a false self and try to be someone you’re not. Accept your flaws and imperfections – as everyone has them anyway!

2. Listen carefully when others are speaking. Give them your full and undivided attention. And really listen when other people are speaking: don’t just act as if you’re interested in them.

3. If you say or do something that’s inept or stupid, then be the first to laugh at yourself. Also, don’t blame others if you do something wrong – you’ll be much more respected if you say that it was you.

4. Be quick to notice and to show appreciation for other people, and what they do for you. Also, notice their successes and the things that they do well, and praise them openly, so others know as well. (But don’t usually flattery as it sounds insincere.)

5. Be honest (but tactful) when you’re asked for your opinion. That sends the message that you usually speak the truth.

6. Look for ways that you can help other people, as genuine people are sensitive and caring. As a side effect, it will likely boost your mood – and others will be drawn by your inner happiness.

A rare snake-related post by me-

I have had Vision, a dwarf BCI and my youngest snake, for roughly 9 months now. He will be a year old in July, so by snake standards he is still very much a baby. In the past 9 months, he’s gone from, for lack of better words, a bitey defensive asshole to a relatively passive and trusting creature who simply has Rules ™ on how, where, and when he can be touched. I used the same method to produce these results as I do with all of my reptiles, including my young snake of a notoriously aggressive and defensive species (Amazon Tree Boas) and have frequently been asked how I manage to get these animals that instinctively bite first and ask questions never to allow handling and pictures without drawing blood.

On my dog blog I’ve mentioned the concept of body autonomy a few times in relation to training dogs, and how it crosses over into husbandry in other species. In these posts I’ve detailed how I tame the larger birds at my job, how I teach my snakes not to bite me when I take them out, how I can successfully convince a thrashing dog to accept grooming without a fuss, how I teach cats to not turn into screaming demons for nail trims, and more. I also cover this in many of my dog training lectures at work as my students teach their dogs to allow grooming, nail trims, and medically related handling to prevent injuries and incidents when interacting with these animals. All of this relates back to body autonomy, and how we as humans have consistently ignored other species’ instinctive need to be autonomous.

I am no master animal trainer and do not play one on TV. I train pet dogs and service dogs and have begun to venture into competition, at one point I specialized in rehabbing aggressive and reactive dogs. I have trained various common pet animals in occasionally unconventional ways to do things that make life easier for the both of us, but I don’t claim to be anything special, because what I’m doing is not all that special. It is, however, uncommon for people to make these considerations with their pets and then they call in someone like me to fix a problem that didn’t need to start in the first place.

An example being: frequently on this website and others, the solution for convincing a biting snake not to bite you is to hold it still until it stops biting you. The snake will learn that biting you does not produce the desired result (you letting the snake go or putting it back in its cage) and thus will eventually stop biting you when you pick it up.

In the dog training world, we call this flooding and learned helplessness. It “works” because it produces what we wanted it to. The snake no longer bites when you pick it up. But it failed to address the root of the problem, and frequently if regular handling is not maintained the snake will return to biting you every time you touch it. The snake had learned that there was nothing it could do in order to make you stop doing what it didn’t like, and so had learned that it was helpless against the much larger human. The snake in this situation still doesn’t really want to be handled, it is merely tolerating it because it sees no other option.

While snakes have a much more primitive brain than dogs and thus a much more limited scope of emotions, aggression and violence are always expensive measures to use and thus are frequently considered last resort measures to make an unpleasant situation stop. They are costly in body resources- they take large amounts of energy, stress, and time to resolve, and wounds obtained from violence can become deadly with infection or severity. As a result, a bite should always indicate that whatever you are doing is so unpleasant to the animal you’re doing it to that they’re willing to risk their life in order to make you stop. The common pet snake knows it cannot win against an animal as large as a human. It is hoping you have not come to the same realization, and will not call its bluff.

This creates a problem. Like with dogs, backing off from a situation that is required after a bite will teach the snake that all they have to do to get you to leave them alone is to bite you. If I need to trim my dog’s nails, give him a bath, brush him, or have him examined by a vet, sure I could put him in a muzzle and force him to do it anyway, but it is counter-intuitive to teach him that all he has to do is bite me in order to get out of doing those things he may consider unpleasant. I need to be able to handle my snakes. This is not negotiable, just like the above things I do with my dogs are not negotiable. If I cannot handle them, I cannot check them for injury, disease, or distress. Backing off because my snake, or dog, has threatened to bite me is thus not a viable option. I must be able to complete the task, and the animal in question must let me.

Dogs, by comparison, are relatively easy to convince in this problem. I need to be able to do my dog’s nails. If I give him amazing treats on a good reward schedule, shower him with praise, listen to his body language to give him a chance to calm down and destress before pressing on, and remove my own negative emotions from the equation, he will learn to let me do his nails and even offer the position required for the task within a relatively short amount of time. He does not have to like having his nails done, but I can convince him to like he benefits he gets out of it. Cats and birds and small mammal pets like ferrets, rabbits, and rodents may be slower, but follow much the same way.

I can’t give a snake a treat. That’s not really how snake digestive systems work. I can’t give them a toy. I can’t give them praise. The subtleties of snake body language are much harder to read due to a lack of eyelids, ears, and limbs. Dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, all of these are social creatures that practice social bonding and feel an emotion similar to love (in the dog’s case, actually do feel love). Snakes are not social creatures and their brain is not capable of producing the chemicals involved in the emotion we call love. I cannot convince a snake to love me or to like being handled. That is not something their biology is able to do. Does that mean I have to rely on flooding and learned helplessness in order to get them to let me handle them?

I keep stressy species. While all reptiles are more than capable of stressing themselves to death, my current list of exotic pets includes a special needs ball python with a severe neurological condition, a brazilian rainbow boa specifically purchased from someone who breeds minimally stressy snakes because he got tired of the species’ reputation for being bitey assholes, and a dwarf bci locality (read: like a subspecies, but not different enough to get their own scientific name) known for being defensive bitey assholes. Previously, I had a special needs corn snake that was a defensive bitey asshole, an amazon tree boa that was remarkably handleable despite the species’ reputation for being aggressive and defensive bitey angry assholes, and a few foster ball pythons that came from neglect situations and had never been handled before leading to them being defensive bitey assholes. Stress is common in situations where aggression or violence is utilized, even if it is being utilized by the animal and not the human. If the stress from moving can kill my beloved ATB Hydra, why would I intentionally expose him to situations where he would feel required to use violence again and again until he learned that that was not a way out of the situation?

I did not flood my snakes. I hold them. They do not bite me. It has been a long time since any of them have even struck at me, and the majority of the bites and strikes I have received have been from when I was learning the snake in front of me or from me intentionally ignoring their body language and handling them a way I knew they didn’t like for whatever reason. Snakes do not bite without cause. Whether you, a human, can see that cause or not, snakes do not bite because they are vindictive or mean. As said, their brains are far too primitive to feel such complex emotions. Even wild snakes do not bite without provocation- whether you intentionally provoked them or not does not matter, simply whether they felt provoked enough to need to defend themselves possibly with their lives.

Vision came to me unsure of my intentions and of whether I could be considered safe. He certainly didn’t believe I should be picking him up. At two months old, the world is a scary place to a baby snake where nearly everything is bigger than you and nearly everything wants to kill or eat you. I do not blame him for doubting the warm giant cooing over him with grabby hands. To him, I’m sure I am some baffling mixture of hawk, bear, and wild canine. All of these things readily kill and eat snakes, all of these things may be persuaded to not kill and eat this particular snake if he bites them.

Instead of picking him up and allowing him to spend precious resources stressing himself to the point of repeatedly biting me- which hurts, by the way, so I don’t really want to be bitten any more than I need to be- I allowed him to show me things about him. I let him show me what he does when he’s nervous, when he doesn’t want to be bothered. I let him show me what he does when he’s curious and feels like investigating what’s in front of him. I let him show me how he does and does not like to be touched. Like many snakes, he seems to enjoy being scratched lightly under the chin. Like many snakes, he doesn’t seem to appreciate being tickled on the stomach. He prefers to create a “foot” about 2/3 down his body and use it as an anchored perch when exploring my hands. He does not want his tail to be touched. When he is nervous or unsure of potential danger, he will retract and coil himself into a loose ball. If pressed before he recovers, he will “expand” the “ball” quickly and vocalize. If he continues to be pressured, he will threaten to bite and will begin to try. If he is allowed to relax, he will recreate his “foot” and resume quietly investigating his surroundings.

Today, I took the lid off of his enclosure and lifted him out without a fuss. While this is not a first- we accomplished this task about 4 weeks in- only in the past few weeks has he not immediately retracted into his loose ball and required me to wait a few minutes for him to relax before touching him. Instead, he immediately made his “foot” and began to investigate, leaned against my finger as I scratched his chin, and maintained his confidence throughout the time I handled him. Sure, I could possibly get a similar result through the first method of flooding and teaching him that he is helpless against me, but I don’t need to. I can get a confident content snake that is not only tolerating my handling but also showing curiosity and intelligence without forcing him to accept my hands as things he has to deal with in his life.

The people espousing these methods always ask me how I managed to take such nice, interesting pictures of Hydra without bleeding- or joke about how much blood they think I lost inbetween shots- and are always surprised when I tell them that I don’t get bit because I understand a snake’s need for autonomy and allow the snake to tell me their “rules” for being touched and then follow those rules or understand if I break them I will get bit. As a result, I don’t break their rules unless I have to, and thus I don’t get bit unless I have to. This allows me to handle and investigate my snakes, look in their mouths, check their vents and between their scales, touch their heads, and rescue them from fluke accidents such as Quetzal’s injury with his decor without the snake taking their frustrations out on me. It also allows me to take some pretty pictures of them outside or on props without worrying how I will retrieve them without being bitten when I’m done. 

Lie to me? Steal my work? Have fun going from 52K a year to minimum wages.

(warning: long story)

Takes place back in 2014, long read with a lot of buildup to revenge. I was about a year into my job and was being recognized for my talents and promoted pretty regularly. I was constantly being used as the liaison between my company and the client companies we had business and contracts with, and literally have saved our contract companies hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Then I was approached by Amy, who was in another department, for a job opportunity in the next month or so. She was going out on medical leave and was going to train me to take over her position in the interim and then fully take it over once she came back and moved into a new role. I was ecstatic because I knew she had a salary position and that’s what I really wanted. Most of the salaried positions in the company were the kind you had direct reports and in my industry there is a lot of stupid and handholding so I was not looking forward to have to deal with that stuff, but here was this angel offering me the salary I wanted and the stepping stone I wanted to get further in the company, all without having to deal with stupidity on a daily basis! So for the next 3 weeks I’m pulled from my current duties about twice a week to train in her position. In the beginning it was really menial stuff to get aquatinted with her department but then we started getting into the bigger Excel stuff. Now her job was 90% Excel based, but in having her teach me her job and the duties and deadlines for certain things I realized she was basically flying by with basic Excel knowledge (I’m taking formulas to do math and VLOOKUPs were the majority of what she used in EVERYTHING). Now I was really okay with it and knew I could bring a lot more to the position with my knowledge and really help out the management team and showcase my expertise to them.

Keep reading

LDR Little Bed-Time Routines

We all know Little’s have a hard time getting ready for bed when they don’t have their Mommy/Daddy there. It can be frustrating for both parties when the little is fussing because they’re tired and refuse to go to sleep because they don’t have Daddy/Mommy. So I’m gonna attempt to come up with some (hopefully) helpful routines to get your Little to bed with less fuss. 

🌙 | Phone call. Call your Little Prince/Princess before they go to bed. Listening to their CG’s voice can soothe any worries they have in the moment. It may even help with nightmares.

🌙 | Rules. Give them a set of routines to do every night before bed, such as: Brush your teeth, Brush your hair, Change into PJ’s, Glass of water.. and so on. 

🌙 | During the phone call, if there’s time, read them a bed time story, sing to them, or just babble about how much you love them or how your day went. I’m sure they won’t care what you’re talking about as long as you’re paying attention to them. Use pet names, their favorites, your favorites, and coo at them! Not necessarily baby talk, bring out the Mommy/Daddy voice.. the same voice when you compliment/praise your baby. 

🌙 | Remind them how much you love them, why you love them, why you love being their Mommy/Daddy. Remember all little’s need constant reassurance they’re not too needy or in anyway annoying.

🌙 | Make sure they’re happy/content. If they’re sad, they are definitely going to have nightmares and need your help (though there’s nothing wrong with needing help). If your little girl/boy has anxiety, then you need to make sure they’re not upset about anything.

How to Care for an Extrovert

1. Respect their need for independence and autonomy.

2. Praise and compliment them in front of others.

3. Affirm their passion and enthusiasm.

4. Encourage them to talk things through as a way of processing problems and challenges.

5. Encourage and affirm their spontaneity. Surprise them from time to time.

6. Recognise that they’re likely to be super busy and, possibly, over committed, too.

7. Allow them to try new things right away, while their enthusiasm is high.

8. Give them lots of choices and options.

9. Demonstrate your love and affection. Tell them and show them how much they mean to you.

10. Give them the opportunity to shine.