I’m so happy with how this came out omfg

Hands Off

warning: smut y’all
pairing: Calum & reader
summary: Your idiot of a boyfriend get’s jealous so you teach him a lesson; punk!Calum, sub!Calum
a/n I told you this was coming hulkcalum
Anonymous said:Can you do sub!calum please please please omfg, like he broke a rule or something ;) xx love your blog

There have been very few times where you were actually 100% angry with your boyfriend. Despite what most people assumed, your over 6ft, tattooed and pierced boyfriend was an incredibly sweet guy. Most people weren’t willing to see past his intimidating exterior, but Calum really was nothing more than a puppy. There were very few times Calum actively tried to scare the shit out of people, usually only when he was incredibly pissed off or jealous as hell.

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treble-wolf  asked:

I've never sent a headcannon before so bear with me. Len is jealous when Iris and Eddie have a kid, so Barry starts talking about adoption, Len tries to be really low key about wanting that, and then cries holding their baby for the first time.

Are you sure this is your first time? You’re like an expert. (That is a flirtation. I am flattering you so you’ll send me more headcanons. Is it working?)


Len is always around Eddie and Iris’ kid and he tries very hard not to kidnap them. Len always thought he’d be a terrible father but their kid seems to love him. So he’s like hey! I want that too!

But then “Wait. What if Barry doesn’t want a kid?”

So he tries to bring it up subtly. He talks about Eddie and Iris’ kid non stop. About what he’d name a kid if he had one. Starts leaving phone books open on the kitchen table on the exact page full of adoption agencies. Openly stares at people’s kids in the grocery store. Looks longingly at the orphanage whenever they drive past.

Of course, Barry is oblivious.

But then! Barry brings it up! Len is glad because he had no idea how to outright tell Barry he wants a kid.


I’m so emotional why did you do this to me

anonymous asked:

Mambo, I saw the AU list you reposted and I just need to tell you. The second one is an Actual Thing that happened to my sister. The Boy made a band, and wrote tragic songs about how he lost her, and they went to WARPED TOUR and performed it and just. They are now married and happy but if you write one of those please do that one. I don't even care what pairing it is. I just need it to happen. Thank you. ;_;

omfg please please i need the “this is so unfair there’s this song getting popular and the singer sounds like you and all these lyrics almost sound like they could be about me but you’re singing about lost love and you weren’t in love with me wait I’m watching the music video and crying and hey that’s definitely you wtf” au i will love you forever bro (jk i already do) - another anon

OMG @ANON 1 THAT IS AMAZING PLEASE TELL US MORE!!!!!!!! I wrote this fic, though I’m not sure fiction can beat reality in this case! (And I’m sorry about the shitty lyrics; I am the worst at rhymes.)

The song is on every time Sam turns on the goddamn radio.

I’m a jerk, you’re an ass

But God, do I miss your sass

You sat next to me and never knew

That all I thought about was you

You asked how I was

I said I was fine

Find me at the end of the line

Please find me at the end of the line

Steve hates the goddamn song.

“I don’t get it,” Sam says. “This song is great. It’s like Take Me to Church for the suburban soul.”

“That’s the whole problem,” Steve responds, mounting a painting in the Greenwich Village gallery they co-own. “It’s… familiar.” Steve finishes fiddling with the painting, making sure it’s level. He steps off of his stepladder and turns to Sam, who is giving him a look. “What?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing,” Sam says, feigning nonchalance. “Just laughing at your self-centeredness.”

Steve rolls his eyes before folding up the stepladder and stashing it behind the desk. “It’s the phrase ‘end of the line.’ I had this guy who I loved in high school. We were childhood friends.”

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anonymous asked:

Imagine the Sapphire and Ruby having the most awkward first encounters ever. Rose introduces them. 'Ruby, this is Sapphire. Sapphire, the red gem currently flailing about in the bushes is Ruby. Ruby, calm down you'll only and there goes the shrub. Fine, fine, I can heal i--pearl please stop laughing.'

Please omfg I cant even add on to this i just love it as is

         " okay, let me get this straight ——–
                you faked your own death &&
            what?? now you’re prepared to
                 come back here and act like
            nothing has changed?? how the
                 fuck does this make sense??