ATTENTION EXO FANDOM: Stop calling Yixing a homophobe.
This is an incredibly important post, one that everyone should take into consideration very seriously. I’ve reached my boiling point, and I can no longer quietly watch on as keyboard warriors who don’t know a thing about Yixing tarnish his reputation without considering the consequences of their actions, all over a single comment made by him that does not even indicate that he’s homophobic, just possibly misinformed. I’ve put off posting this because it seemed to have died down a bit around their comeback and I didn’t want to bring unnecessary attention to it, but I’ve been seeing comments about this topic almost everyday now and it’s just too much. In fact, “yixing homophobic” is his top search on twitter as I’m writing this. This is going to be a long post and I understand that it may be too much of a hassle to read, but I hope everyone here cares enough about Yixing or this topic to actually power through it entirely and understand what kind of a human being this amazing man is.
I have so many points to make that I don’t even know where to start. A short introduction.
This is my third year with Yixing, my first and ultimate bias in kpop who I’ve been following everyday since I found him and EXO. Got into them while they were in the midst of their one year hiatus in December 2012, so I quickly caught up to everything EXO-M had done previously and even got acquainted with predebut Yixing. I’m majoring in psychology, and while, of course, I’m no expert as of now, I’ve always payed extremely close attention to his micro-expressions to the best of my ability in order gauge whether or not he’s showing us his true self, as who wants to devote that much time on a person who’s being fake as hell?
This is not a case of a smitten fangirl defending her “oppa” who has clearly said something inexcusable. This is about being a decent person by giving people the benefit of the doubt and not aggressively labeling someone as a disgusting human being because of one remark that was blown way out of proportion. I’ve read so many people calling him names like “asshole,” “jerk,” “douche bag” because of this and genuinely believing he’s of the type. Because of one comment. A mistranslated comment. Completely disregarding the countless wonderful things he’s said and done even since before debut. That makes you the asshole. Please, think. How would you like it if someone held one comment against you for months or years? Ignored how kind you’ve attempted to be at every moment of your life and just marked you as scum? I would just LOVE to hear you guys say that you’ve never said anything even mildly offensive, intentional or not. If you’re new to the fandom or just don’t know anything about Yixing, then please stop spreading nonsense. It’s great to stand up for what’s right and trying to make the world a more open-minded place, but you have to realize when you’re taking things too far. A lesson for everyone: approach misinformed comments in a kind manner, not with attacks. Sometimes, people just don’t know any better because of where they’re from and what they’ve been taught from a young age. You may think you’re doing the right thing, but being hateful makes you look immature, not wise. Be mindful of your words.
Let me also state that I began to ponder on what his standing is with the topic of homosexuality long before he made the comment at the conference. Anyone that pays attention to him will know that he used to wear a cross around his neck pretty much daily, and this worried me only because most (I repeat, most. Not all.) of the Christians that I’ve met and heard about, including my parents, do not agree with it. Considering that he may be really religious, I carefully watched out for any signs of disgust. Some of my closest friends are gay or have been in a same sex relationship, so it would have been a personal stab if I found him to be homophobic. My conclusion? He gives zero fucks and, as MANY have stated before, he acts the “gayest.”
I’m going to have to remind everyone here that the person who has kissed and groped the members the most is Yixing. Whether they’re in rehearsals, traveling the streets as normal people, away from their fans (with the evidence of official pictures, which I will include in this post) or in front of flashing cameras, on TV, in the middle of conferences with reporters all around keeping an eye on every move, Yixing is the one to almost always find a way to have contact with another man. It’s not just regular skinship that’s common in Korea, it’s a level up.
Let’s look at the definition of homophobia with the help of our little friend, Google. noun 1. intense hatred or fear of homosexuals or homosexuality 2. irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals
Now let’s list a couple of behavioral patterns displayed by homophobes. 1. making unnecessary or rude comments about, or feeling repulsed by public displays of affection between same-sex partners 2. Constantly saying “no homo” after simple compliments, signs of affection, or physical contact.
Note how extreme this word is.
First off, let’s apply those definitions to Yixing. He has never publicly discriminated against homosexuals or made hateful comments and has ABSOLUTELY no problem with going through with public displays of affection. We’ve never really seen them interact with gay couples, so we’re going to have to base everything on his own behavior around men. The only time he has ever shown hesitance was during TLP when he had to replace Luhan during the Xiuhan kissing moment in front of the single lucky fan they brought up and that was around the time where he had made the “manly men” comment, which I will get to shortly. In the gifs you’ll see at the end of this post, you’ll realize that he never before had a problem with kissing Minseok. He didn’t even have to actually do it, just pretend.
Remember this? Pretty much the same thing he hesitated to do with Xiumin, but he’s the one who randomly initiated it with Baekhyun. Everyone (say it with me) has the right to feel uncomfortable in certain situations. Isn’t that what people on tumblr are always going on about? If it’s not all just talk, then this shouldn’t be a problem. Them picking Yixing to be the replacement, to me, is a good indicator that he has most likely not made homophobic remarks in private with the members either. Why would the members force a homophobic man to act out a male on male kiss? EXO likes to joke around, but they wouldn’t go that far, and most definitely not repeatedly. If Yixing were homophobic, do you really think the rest of EXO wouldn’t have gotten an ear full about the kissing scene at their apartment? Do you think that, after hearing his complaints (which a homophobe would certainly make loud and clear), they would have happily pushed Yixing up against Minseok with splitting smiles and bright eyes again and again? Tao and Jongdae were there ready to be taken. Why Yixing? The company? I doubt it. Not with the way Jongdae easily inserted himself into the mess to claim Minseok’s mouth as his (we wish?).
I’ll create a long compilation of the abundant amount of times he’s intimately touched the members, with no care in the world (sometimes much to the rest of EXO’s annoyance, especially Kyungsoo lmao) after going over the SOLE reason why so many people went ape shit and started calling him homophobic in the first place. If you can’t read through this whole thing, at least look through the gifs and ask yourself if a homophobe would follow through with such actions.
Onto the second behavioral pattern, which is basically what Yixing said here. Okay, guys. Very, VERY important point here. He did not say “real men.” He said “manly men.” It was a mistranslation. There is a bloody HUGE difference between the two. There was basically a whole lesson on this during Showtime. You should be able to figure that out yourself. Here’s a link to someone fully explaining what he said. x Can I emphasize that this is the first time in his career that he has said something similar to “no homo” in front of us like that? How many fucking times throughout the years have they been asked which member they would date if they were girls? Exact situation as this one, and yet, he’s never had a problem with it before. In fact, when asked during Love Radio if they would date any of the members as girls, he put his hands up in a circle to indicate that he would date someone there if he were a girl. x Here’s a link that you may have to convert to mp4. When he found out that Jongdae would want to date him (45:55), he got red and shy (according to the member’s reactions and his tone of voice), saying he didn’t know Jongdae felt that way about him in the just about the cutest way possible, a sweet smile on his face when the cameraman/woman finally (and holy shit, do I mean finally) panned over to show everyone’s faces. At 48:10, when they were saying their goodbyes, Suho mentioned how they were leaving with two new couples (Chenlay and Sudo). The host afterwards basically reiterated what he said by saying they’re now couples. Yixing nodded with a smile (like, “yes, we are~”) and started clapping with everyone else.
Again, saying “no homo” is supposed to be a behavioral pattern, meaning it’s done often. He’s said it once. He’s publicly kissed just about every member except maybe Chanyeol and Kai on some part of their bodies or groped them happily and he’s not once said anything like ‘no homo” afterwards.
You can cross this off the list.
However, since this is what everyone is hung up about, let’s analyze this instance. Before jumping to conclusions, which basically the majority of the people that know about the situation have, much to my frustration, we have to look at the overall situation that they were in at the time. They were neck deep in scandals with people shitting on them from left to right because of what was happening with Kris and Baekhyun. For some reason, he clearly thought that someone would take their words to try to further make their lives more difficult. He only thought to make the comment because Chanyeol was already getting uncomfortable and even had to say himself that he doesn’t actually like Kyungsoo like that. Notice that the other members were kind of relieved when Yixing made the comment. Ever think that maybe sometimes they just get tired of being linked romantically with their members? When under stress, things like that can just be plain irritating. Everyone has to realize that Korea obviously still does not accept homosexuality. The youth there are doing what they can to change their country, but it’s going to take time just like everywhere else. The point is, if a rumor started to go around that they’re gay, then, well, put two and two together. It’s not a pretty situation. Also, Korean is not Yixing’s first language. It is VERY likely that he didn’t know how to properly articulate his thoughts. He might not know how to say “gay” and things could have been lost in translation. Yes, it was an unnecessary comment, but this is not something you stubbornly label someone “homophobe” with. Do you even understand the severity of this word? How horrible it can make a person seem? All you know is this single comment in all the years that we’ve known him that wasn’t even in his native language. That is not enough.
The words “manly men” when talking about not being gay, believe it or not, does not automatically lead to homophobia. This can easily just be a misperception of what it is to be gay. He can be completely fine with homosexuality, but maybe think that actions that society deems to be more feminine are shared by all gays, or at least by the majority. There are tons of people even in America that still get shocked when men that have never acted in a feminine way turn out to be gay. How do most “gaydars” work? It’s mostly based on stereotypes. People try to pick up on body language mostly, the way words are spoken and the clothes being worn. The person may have more of a sway in their hips when walking, a higher pitch when speaking, a higher sass level. Hardly anyone is going to automatically assume that a super buff dude that has a straight face most of the time with a deep voice and plain clothing is a homosexual. Generally, in most parts of Asia, people are extremely afraid of coming out due to the society they were born into. Because of the likelihood that Yixing has not been surrounded by gay people that fill the role of what’s traditionally thought of as being a macho guy or has only really seen those popular on the internet acting like stereotypical gay men, his way of saying “not gay” is “manly men.” This is called being misinformed. He moved out of China when he was about 17 and entered a country he couldn’t understand anything in. The chances of his old friends that were gay (if he had any) coming out before he left are pretty slim, unless they were super close. Entering Korea, it would have been difficult to make friends because of the language barrier, and what are the chances that the friends he did make were gays that would actually be willing to disclose such an important secret to a newcomer they can barely understand? Once again, if this is the case, your first response should not be to insult and use vicious words. You should be understanding of where such a person is coming from and try to educate them respectfully.
x Here is getlayd’s interpretation of his usage of words.
I’ve heard some people saying that he only acted normal in past situations where they were asked who they would date if they were girls because they were pretending to be girls and it didn’t have anything to do with homosexuality. Then allow me to bring up one of their early mama era interviews, Spicy Microphone, in which the host (who a lot people assumed to be gay himself) put all of them in a hilariously awkward situation in which he obviously attempted to make Tao and Xiumin seem like they were gay for each other. Pay close attention to Yixing at 19:53-21:30. He, along with the rest of the Chinese members, almost instantly realized what the host was insinuating by asking Tao about how he hugs Xiumin at night in their beds. Not only did he not show any signs of disgust throughout this whole ordeal, he smiled and snickered to himself while they were talking, simply finding the situation both funny and embarrassing. Is this how a homophobic person would react? Obviously, even if he were homophobic, he most likely wouldn’t say anything because it’s a broadcast, but his initial reaction would not be to laugh at the situation. He would probably look serious throughout with slightly curled down lips or an unhappy stare after being taken aback by the sudden turn of events. He took things very lightheartedly, and treated the host with utmost respect the entire interview, acting even more bubbly after. His smile reached his eyes.
One of the most iconic shipping moments for EXO would be the pepero kiss that occurred between Yixing and Sehun. This video should explain itself, honestly. Just look at his body language and his complete lack of trepidation for what is to come. He picks the member he wants to play the game with pretty much instantly (have you though about this before, Yixing? /smirk) and smiled as Sehun approached him and even as he was biting into the stick. They both showed no hesitation, their lips touching in a flash and Yixing even forgot about the entire purpose of the game, which is to measure the remaining part of the stick. He chews whatever is left, which, to me, shows that he kind of just wanted a kiss tbh. Or forgot to spit it out in all the excitement. His every move in that situation just showed how little he cared about coming off as gay. His whole body was lax, and he knew this would be aired on television.
There was a day when Yixing got to travel to his hometown solo and took his sweet time signing for the fans that were waiting for him at the airport. Go to 4:02 and look at his adorable reaction to a fan asking him if he knew what his and Sehun’s shipping name is. Actually, just watch the whole video and realize who you’re putting down.
Him talking about crossdressing also became an issue at some point. But those people seemed to completely ignore just about everything he said except him saying he won’t do it. Are you serious? He clearly said it’s cool if anyone else wants to do it, but he won’t. Sorry he has boundaries?? My brother is the farthest thing from a homophobe, but do you think he’d ever step foot in a skirt and put on makeup in front of a huge crowd? You don’t know him, so I’ll tell you. No.
All sources for the gifs have been provided underneath each.
x “Innocently” tapping against Kyungsoo’s dick, getting his butt pinched in retaliation. Kissing him on the cheek and then pointing to the camera so he doesn’t get slaughtered. Obviously knows he’s being watched. Also doesn’t know when to quit (ily).
I just don’t understand how all of this can be ignored. Once people come on tumblr, it seems that a lot are almost aching to find fault in others in order to feel like they’ve done a good deed. I love this website and most of the people here are amazing, but just check yourselves once in a while and make sure you’re not being too much. It really is great to be involved, just do it correctly.
None of us know him personally. We don’t know anything 100%. Yixing, just like everybody else we don’t actually know, can be a homophobe in private. If you’re going to make judgements, however, they have to be based on what we know. And this post is pretty much what we know.
As much as we love to say it, Yixing is not an angel. Nobody is. He has faults just like the rest of us. He can’t say everything perfectly all the time, even though he’s actually a really good public speaker. He’s been under so much stress since Kris left especially and he’s working so so hard. He’s one of the sweetest guys that I’ve seen, who doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit by people he’s done so much for.
This issue has been making me feel sick for almost a year now. Kind of ruined tumblr for me for a while. Please, if you agree with this post, spread it. It can be reblogs or directly sending it to people that are going on about him being homophobic. This is seriously affecting how international kpop fans view him.
THIS WILL ONLY TAKE A MOMENT - PLEASE READ AND PARTICIPATE
REMEMBER THE #exosongproject THAT ALL OF US WORKED SO HARD FOR? NOW IS THE TIME FOR US TO SHOW IT TO EXO!!!!!
On June 23, Baekhyun and Jongin will be on ASC, an international show where Korean idols can participate and interact with international fans. Since #exosongproject was so successful, and so many people worked so hard for it, PLEASE make sure we get the word to EXO!
What you can write (please title it #exosongproject to capture their attention! :D):
“#exosongproject was a project from International EXO-Ls for EXO. The song, Let’s love Forever, was an answer to EXO’s self-composed song PROMISE for their 3rd debut anniversary.We were really touched by the song (composed by LAY, lyrics written by CHEN and rap written by CHANYEOL), and many of us participated to show EXO how much we love them. This is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRK9xYV3Aw4 and we hope you show it to EXO!”
I know Tao is in this video, but it’s very minor and technically he’s still in EXO according to SM, so even if you think they won’t show it because Tao’s in it, PLEASE AT LEAST STILL TRY.
Even if you didn’t participate, it would mean so much if you still sent this link to ASC and you would still be contributing to #exosongproject. It really just takes a few seconds to copy and paste what is above if you cannot be bothered writing the intro for this project. You can also send this link with your other fan-works, so please please please do it! Many people participated in this and it really showed how much we love them - This is really a time for international fans to shine.