It’s hard actually when you try to avoid someone that you used to talk everyday,tell you stupid story,laugh for nothing and so on. When you have to pretend like you don’t care at him anymore but at the same time,you really wanna ask him a simple question like “dah makan?” “Sihat harini?” Just to make sure that he is okay.
It’s hard,people. I’m crying because this is not me who avoiding people,make people feel like they are doing something wrong to me so that i treat him bad.
It’s hard,but i still doing it and i won’t stop.
Because i don’t want to beg for someone to stay in life eventhough i didn’t say “Stay,please.” But i know,the longer our relationship,the deeper my feeling get and yes,i’ll be hurt one day. Actually,we shouldn’t meet from the start. I’m tired of fighting to my own feeling,lying to myself,pretend like i don’t fall in love.
I do this,because i love myself more. I won’t beg for people to love me or stay. I won’t beg. But yes,i’ll be leaving and you don’t need to worry.
Now,I’m trying to love myself,appreciating myself,be success in my study,get my grades back,be beautiful for my own. I won’t ask people to love me because i could love myself more way better. Family is enough. Ummi and abah are enough for me to love me. My girl-friends are enough to stay when i need them the most. Goku? For sure.
So yes it’s hard but i hope it’s worth it somehow. And saving my heart and feeling at the first place is a must.
Because no one will do that as at the end of the story,people will only save their life.
Like what i’m doing now.