Here are a list of things I need to happen for me to pay this much money to see Beyonce perform an album I haven’t heard yet and may not even be in the works…

1. A Destiny’s Child reunion…and I’m not just talking Michelle. I need Kelly, Letoya, Latavia, Nina, Nicki, Ronny, Bobby, Ricky & Mike
2. Beyonce needs to perform every song she’s ever been on including but not limited to the Proud Family theme song with a Solange solo.
3. I also need Solange giving twistout tutorials
4. Mama Tina waxes eyebrows
5. Blue Ivy needs to come and do a whole Doc Mcstuffins Monologue complete with Cicely Tyson realness
6. Jay needs to show up and do his whole discography all the way back to when he had a busted gold grill
7. Matter of fact…all of Roc-a-Fella should be there and do a rousing rendition of “Big Pimpin” with a hologram Pimp C.
8. Jesus comes out for a duet of Amazing grace
9. Beyonce does my taxes
10. Then she takes me to Red Lobster
11. …and gives me a ride home

….and even then she would still owe me a smooth $1500

what the signs hate (part I)

aries: irrelevant people talking to them

taurus: when someone eats their food

gemini: when they’re in the shower and water suddenly gets cold

cancer: cOMIC SANS

leo: stupid discussions

virgo: disorganizated people

libra: teachers that think that they’re better than their students

scorpio: when people is really close to them

sagittarius: overrated movies

capricorn: everything and everyone

aquarius: when a person that they don’t like is loved by everyone

pisces: waking up

Nathaniel Wood

Jaden and Willow Smith on Prana Energy, Time and Why School is Overrated

One of the gifts of being young is that particular blend of self-confidence and self-consciousness. Jaden and Willow Smith have managed to turn this form of heady teenage introspection into expression instead of ennui. Willow, the 14-year-old musician whose debut single, “Whip My Hair,” went platinum when she was not yet a teenager, explains that the gift of life is “looking at nature and being, like, ‘Wow, I am so lucky to have a body and to breathe and to be able to look at this.’ ” To which her older brother Jaden, a 16-year-old actor and musician, adds: “And the huge, terrible thing the world would be missing by not expressing yourself.” To that end, both Jaden and Willow, the children of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, released new albums this month, including two tracks by Jaden that make their public debut here.

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