Here are a list of things I need to happen for me to pay this much money to see Beyonce perform an album I haven’t heard yet and may not even be in the works…
1. A Destiny’s Child reunion…and I’m not just talking Michelle. I need Kelly, Letoya, Latavia, Nina, Nicki, Ronny, Bobby, Ricky & Mike
2. Beyonce needs to perform every song she’s ever been on including but not limited to the Proud Family theme song with a Solange solo.
3. I also need Solange giving twistout tutorials
4. Mama Tina waxes eyebrows
5. Blue Ivy needs to come and do a whole Doc Mcstuffins Monologue complete with Cicely Tyson realness
6. Jay needs to show up and do his whole discography all the way back to when he had a busted gold grill
7. Matter of fact…all of Roc-a-Fella should be there and do a rousing rendition of “Big Pimpin” with a hologram Pimp C.
8. Jesus comes out for a duet of Amazing grace
9. Beyonce does my taxes
10. Then she takes me to Red Lobster
11. …and gives me a ride home
….and even then she would still owe me a smooth $1500