Out of Buckets

  • Fire Emblem fandom: the new 3ds games are nothing but tropes!! the characters are all one dimensional and they all have gimmicks that they revolve around!
  • Also Fire Emblem fandom: *ignores characters like Joshua, Lute, Ilyana, Makalov, Sain, Florina, and countless others who also revolve around their gimmicks*

Today I turn thirteen and quit the 4-H club for good.
I smoke way too much pot for that shit.
Besides, Mama lost the rabbit and both legs
from the hip down in Vegas.
What am I supposed to do? Pretend to have a rabbit?
Bring an empty cage to the fair and say,
His name’s REO Speedwagon and he weighs eight pounds?
My teacher, Mr. Ortiz says, I’ll miss you, Cassie,
then he gives me a dime of free crank and we have sex.
I do up the crank with Mama and her boyfriend, Rick.
She throws me the keys to her wheelchair and says,
Baby, go get us a chicken bucket.
So I go and get us a chicken bucket.
On the way back to the trailer, I stop at Hardy’s liquor store.
I don’t want to look like a dork
carrying a chicken bucket into the store—
and even though Mama always says
Never leave chicken where someone could steal it—
I wrap my jacket around it and hide it
under the wheelchair in the parking lot.
I’ve got a fake ID says my name’s Sherry and I’m 22,
so I pick up a gallon of Montezuma Tequila,
a box of Whip-Its and four pornos.
Mama says, That Jerry Butler’s got a real wide dick.
But the whole time I’m in line, I’m thinking,
Please God let the chicken bucket be OK.
Please God let the chicken bucket be OK.
Please God let the chicken bucket be OK.
The guy behind me’s wearing a T-shirt
that says, Mustache Rides 10¢.
So I say, All I got’s a nickel.
He says, You’re cute,
so we go out to his van and have sex.
His dick’s OK, but I’ve seen wider.
We drink most of the tequila and I ask him,
Want a Whip-It?
He says, Fuck no—that shit rots your brain.
And when he says that, I feel kind of stupid
doing another one. But then I remember
what mama always told me:
Baby be your own person.
Well fuck yes.
So I do another Whip-It,
all by myself and it is great.
Suddenly it hits me—Oh shit! the chicken bucket!
Sure enough, it’s gone.
Mama’s going to kill me.
Those motherfuckers even took my jacket.
I can’t buy a new chicken bucket
because I spent all the money at Hardy’s.
So I go back to the trailer, crouch outside
behind a bush, do all the Whip-Its,
puke on myself, roll in the dirt,
and throw open the screen door like a big empty wind.
Mama! Some Mexicans jumped me!
They got the chicken bucket,
plus the rest of the money!

I look around the trailer.
Someone’s taken all my old stuffed animals
and Barbies and torn them to pieces.
Fluff and arms and heads are all over the place.
I say someone did it,
but the only person around is Rick.
Mama is nowhere to be seen.
He cracks open another beer and says,
What chicken bucket?

Well, that was a long a time ago.
Rick and I got married
and we live in a trailer in Boron.
We don’t live in a trailer park though—
in fact there’s not another house around
for miles. But the baby keeps me
company. Rick says I’m becoming
quite a woman, and he’s going to let Mama know that
if we ever see her again.

—  Jennifer Knox, Chicken Bucket
Just an Important Note:

Guys, I think the time has come to tell you. 

It’s been roughly two years since I started this blog back when the Yogscast RP crew just started. 

I think it needs to be said. 

This might potentially be my last post for this blog. 

I have run dry guys, I can’t RP as frequently as I could back then.
I’m a Junior now, everyone, and soon I’m going to be graduating and training as a nurse and doing all that crazy stuff. I am also just run out of ideas for Nilesy. There’s so much I can write about him that can keep him from going stale, but I have run my course and my muse is telling me that I need to move on and keep going.  

I simply do not have the time nor the inspiration to keep chugging along the same cat train track anymore. I hope you all understand why this has to be said. 

I don’t want to keep coming in and coming out for no reason and just leave again without even telling you guys. 

I love writing and you guys can keep following me here @thewritersfreedom if you guys want some content. Don’t expect Nilesy writing though, I write other things too. 

Thank you all for being here for me, for being my second family, for helping me and my muse along this windy road. Maybe you will see me with another muse or muses 

Or maybe you will see me again here. We shall see what the future beholds. 

A year in 2014

January: Selfie Olympics

February: Flappy Bird

March: No Oscar for Leonardo DiCaprio

April: It’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone

May: HOENN INTENSIFIES

June: Luigi death stare

July: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

August: Ice bucket Challenge

September: MaddenGIFERATOR

October: Skeleton War

November: When mom isn’t home

December: Crave that mineral

anonymous asked:

I work in a bakeshop at a grocery store. At least twice a week, the same lady comes in with her daughter and takes all the samples we put out! We have buckets of cookies out for customers to sample. These buckets hold 20 cookies each. Every SINGLE time, this lady comes in, takes a plastic bag meant for if you buy a pastry or muffin, and FILLS it with an entire sample bucket and walks away. She came in yesterday and TOOK TWO BUCKETS( roughly 40 cookies!) Now we hide the samples because of her.

No, but imagine James Sirius going off to Hogwarts
  • Ginny has a little calendar hanging in the Kitchen that is enchanted to mark a little red X in the month counting down to his birthday
  • James can barely sleep the entire week before because he jolts awake at every little noise (”What if I miss my owl dad?!?!”)
  • He actually ends up getting his letter at the Burrow, because Grammy couldn’t wait any longer to give him his cake
  • Harry writing McGonagall and making a special arrangement for Hagrid to be allowed to join them when they go school shopping
  • Ginny buys him a Sunda Scops Owl, and the moment he sets eyes on it, he names it Thanatos (”He is the god of the dead Dad - Aunt Hermione gave me a big book about him.”)
  • Harry has to cling to Ginny’s arm to keep himself from running next to the train
  • James gets sorted EXTREMELY fast. He barely got to introduce himself to the hat before it screamed out Gryffindor
  • For the first month, he calls his dad in secret on the communication mirrors because “He doesn’t like going to bed in the dead quiet.”
  • His best class is Charms, and Hermione could not be prouder
  • He makes best friends with a Ravenclaw Muggleborn before the first Hols, and he invites his whole family to spend a wizarding christmas with the Potter-Weasley’s (Molly pretends to protest, but secretly loves it. It reminds her of when her youngest boy brought another friend home.)
  • He nicks the Marauders Map while Harry is out flying with Teddy, never realizing that Ginny is watching through the doorway smirking.

anonymous asked:

Want a free bucket?

((There’s this phenomenon in Finland where businesses will promote themselves by giving out free buckets (usually) filled up with goodies and people go totally batshit over it. There’s always long long lines to get a free bucket.))