Context: I DM for my boyfriend and his dad. In our first session, my boyfriend (a dragonborn paladin) found a piss bucket in his cell, carried it around with him, and subsequently broke it. He collected the shards of the wooden bucket, stubbornly insisting that they’d be important later. A few sessions later, the party arrives at a forge that was selling overpriced weapons.
Paladin: I pull out my piss bucket shards and hold them out to the woman. I tell her “These shards hold immense magical power. Many a scholar have told great tales about these wooden shards, and people would kill to have them.”
DM: …roll persuasion
Paladin: *rolls nat 20*
DM: *sigh* you somehow convince this woman that the shards hold immense power. She gleefully trades with you, and gives you not one, but two +1 weapons.
Blacksmith: thank you, kind sir! I can’t believe you’d trade me such amazing, powerful artifacts for only two measly weapons!!
Title: No One’s Roasted Like Gaston. Pairing: Implied!- Gaston x Reader. Rating: T. Words: 2,231. Summary: Gaston thought he was undeniable to women and even some men. Has he finally found his match?
There was nothing particularly notable about the early mornings, at least, not anymore. The sky above was it usual mixture of pinks, purples and some lighter hues of blue as the sun rose and lit up the clouds, giving them a rather unique looking glow. There was a small wind, but not chilling, and brought in the lingering scent of meadows and trees. You got used to those aspects and they slowly became the norm. You began to not notice them at all, and remarked them as being every day life. If one wanted to really shake things up in a morning routine, they would count the cobblestones that made up each walkway in the village. But, that’s the thing. No one ever wanted to shake things up. They wanted things to stay the same for that is the way they had been living for as long as anyone could remember. With change came the unprecedented fear that something terrible would happen as a result.
It was the hustle and bustle of such a small village did leave one breathless and forgetful on occasion if you didn’t pay attention to where you were going and why you were going there in the first place. If one was aimlessly walking in the morning time while the sun peaked into the valley, one might be trampled by those selling goods and merchandise. Some too expensive, and some not expensive enough and left you wondering whether you had been scammed or if you had gotten a good deal.
Aimless and mindless were surely your vibe this beautiful morning. You had nowhere to be, nothing to do or see and so you actually took your time to walk through the village during one of the busiest times of day. There was a variant of smells, some of which you happened to thoroughly enjoy. Fresh bread, springtime air, a small caddy on the corner before the village square that was selling freshly picked roses. Contrary to the flowers smelling divine, the actual vibrancy of the colors caught your attention and dwindled you to stay and admire them for longer than you had intended . Vivid reds, pastel pinks, yellow whites. It looked as if these flowers belonged immortalized in a painting for the entire world to enjoy.
Smiling at the vendor who was a few feet to your right, you plucked a light, dusty pink rose out of one of the buckets full of water. It dripped down your fingers onto your wrist causing a small shudder to shoot down your arm. Miraculously, it looked as if a skilled painter had dipped their brush in the sky during dusk, mustered up enough color to splotch onto the petals of the flower. Some parts were darker than others, but all around, it was a very delicate and soft appearing flower.
“Beautiful.” You could hear someone behind you say. And without the need to turn around and see the speaker, you were already well aware of who it was. Probably looking at himself in the reflection of a window again, you snickered quietly. It was as if you could see the bright red uniform from your peripheral vision and it was already giving you a headache. Setting the flower back into the metallic bucket, you gave the vendor one more glance over and polite smile before drawing your attention to your left, with the unsuccessful hope of getting out of there without Gaston being connected at your hip.
Do you know what makes me the giddiest about the CS Wedding? It’s that fact that now and forever, when I rewatch my favorite episodes, it’s going to be like this:
The Crocodile - the camera pans up from those black boots and leather clad legs to that windblown hair. Emma Swan is going to marry that.
Tallahassee - all of it - They’re gonna get married! They’re gonna get married!
In the Name of the Brother - he’s in the hospital bed and she pokes him in his broken ribs - Ha! She’s marrying him!
Straight on Til Morning - the whole being a part of something speech - CRYING
Good Form - That was a one time thing - 4,000 kisses and then they get married!
Dark Hollow - “When I win your heart, Emma…” - He so did - and she married him!
New York City Serenade - “Perhaps there was another man you loved…” - Perhaps? MARRIED! (and she wasn’t even close to running out on either of those proposals.)
CS Movie - Emma never stood a chance. *sigh*
White Out - From the ice bucket comment, to the loot conversation with David, to David lifting Emma into Hook’s arms and all the canoodling afterward - She’s got it soooo bad, and they’re gonna get married!
The Apprentice - after the kiss - You know it, girl. You know this is THE guy - the one you wanna marry guy.
Darkness at the Edge of Town - look at happy Emma, getting her jacket, meeting her boyfriend with the coffee and the little kisses right out there on Main Street. Hee. Married!
I was walking around my high school, and no one was there. I opened up a utility closet to see if someone was hiding there, and found my English teacher sitting on the floor, eating golf balls out of a bucket. She just glared at me as she stuffed golf balls in her mouth.
A grain of rice, like a grain of sand, sifts through your hands with a mysterious and lovely sameness. Mostly white or tan, hundreds or thousands of grains pour smoothly out of buckets, out of burlap, into bowls, with a sound like small waterfalls. Rice seems so simple, really. And yet, because it plays a central role in world cuisines, these modest grains can carry the weight of history. Sometimes that history is deeply surprising.
Trinidadian ethnobotanist Francis Morean is living that surprise. The 56-year-old grew up in Trinidad’s Palo Seco hamlet, helping his mother and grandmother plant “hill rice” in the garden once the late-spring rainy season had begun. They would punch checkerboard-style holes in the ground with stakes fashioned from tree branches, and drop the rice seeds in. After harvesting, they would dry the rice plants on large cloths sewn together and laid in the sun. The dried rice plants were shredded by dancing and stomping on them barefoot, the hulls removed in homemade mortars and pestles. The rice stored well for years and was, says Morean, a cherished dish at the dinner table.
“In Sierra Leone and many West African nations, rice was an essential part of every meal,” Morean says. “So being able to produce one’s rice was a major plus for persons of the African diaspora.”
And this particular rice, in the words of David Shields, author of Southern Provisions: The Creation and Revival of a Cuisine, was “the most historically significant African diaspora grain in the Western Hemisphere.” Last month, Morean joined Shields and assorted rice geneticists, scholars, growers and chefs in Charleston, S.C., to attend a day-long tasting and presentation on the history of this unusual African rice that is, nowadays, causing a bit of a stir.
It’s a rice that traveled from Africa to low country — the sea islands and coastal plains of the American Southeast – and was grown widely in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and Kentucky. While it was not a major commercial crop on plantations, for the enslaved Africans who worked them, it was a vital, edible link to the homes they and their ancestors had been wrenched from. It was then brought to Trinidad by formerly enslaved people called Merikins — a variant of “Americans” — where it thrived even as it vanished from U.S. fields. It is a seed that followed the slave trade, and its repatriation now may help fill in a critical missing link in Southern, African and Trinidadian foodways.
I posted a weekly skin care routine but as I am about to return to university and be broke again, I wanted to create this same routine for a broke university student with no bath tub and no $$.
- Get a decently sized bucket and fill it with warm-hot water.
- Mix some coconut oil and white/ brown sugar into a bowl while you’re waiting for the bucket to fill up. Put some coconut oil on the tips of your hair and put your hair up. (A tub of Omega Nutrition virgin Coconut Oil is less than $10 at grocery stores. Look in the organic foods section or the cooking oil section).
- Place your feet in the bucket and use your coconut oil + sugar mixture to exfoliate your legs/ anywhere else you think needs exfoliating (i.e elbows, stomach area, face etc.) If you have a vagina please DO NOT put this mixture anywhere in, on, or near it. If you’re using brown sugar don’t use it on our face because it’s too coarse. Again, if you have crusty ass feet, you’ll need to give some extra love when exfoliating and maybe use a foot file on your heels. Once you’re feeling smooth, get a wash cloth and wipe off your legs.
- Now they should feel very smooth and oily because of the mixture, so you won’t need to put anything extra on them when you go to shave. Using a “men’s” razor works 100x better than “women’s” razors and helps you get a closer shave. Coconut oil builds up in and dulls razors so you will only get about 1-2 good uses per razor. With that in mind, use cheap disposable razors! They literally work the exact same, if not better, than those expensive ass Venus Breeze pieces of crap. Just because they aren’t featured in a commercial with a woman dancing around a beach in a curtain, doesn’t mean they don’t do the exact same damn job. I really recommend waxing pubic areas because the hair grows back so slowly, but waxing can be fairly expensive so if you’re shaving just make sure that you use plain coconut oil and shave DOWN to prevent ingrowns. ALSO if you plan on having sex then you need to THOROUGHLY wash your business after you shave because OILS OF ANY KIND DETERIORATE CONDOMS AND CAN LEAD TO BREAKS OR TEARS. Please be safe.
- Dump out the bucket of water and rinse it. Get in the shower and shampoo your hair root to tip to get the excess coconut oil out and massage your scalp well to get the circulation going (promotes hair growth). Put conditioner on your tips and leave it for about 2+ minutes. While the conditioner is in put some body wash on a wash cloth and wash off all the oil and dirt from your body. If you have a vagina, wait until all the soap is rinsed off of you and then thoroughly (BUT GENTLY) wash your vulva either with your fingers or another wash cloth that has no soap on it. If you still feel like you need to use soap just make sure it’s as natural as possible and UNSCENTED.
- Dry off and lotion your body, I use cocoa butter because it makes me smell like an island goddess but whatever lotion you like to use works. Queen Helene Cocoa Butter is like less than $5 so it’s definitely affordable and you can get it at Walmart.
- Keep an old tooth brush handy and put some of your left over coconut oil + sugar mixture on it and scrub your lips to get all the dead and dry skin off. The only thing worse than scaly lips while getting freaky is bad breath so brush your teeth as well if you haven’t already lmao. Massage aloe vera into your scalp and apply A SMALL AMOUNT of argon oil to your tips. Aloe Vera has actually made my hair grow so fast it’s unbelievable and one of my followers said that argon oil is a natural heat protectant so I’m about to stock up. Banana Boat Aloe Vera after sun gel is around $5 and you can get Live Clean Argon Oil at Walmart for roughly $11. Argon Oil also brightens your skin so you can apply a small amount to your face as well.
This was probably the greatest I’ve ever felt after taking care of my skin and hair! My original post was almost identical and just as inexpensive but I just wanted my fellow university people out there to know that you can treat yourself even while you’re on a budget. Regardless of the products you’re using, following the pattern of soaking, exfoliating, *shaving- optional*, washing, and lotioning will leave you feeling great!