Other: Text Post

truth and fact are that i’ve got an amazing life. I’ve realized these past few days that, sometimes, I tend to let petty and negligible things get in the way of my happiness. I let these little things get in the way of me living a life in which I fully embrace my many blessings. like…

I have this constant anxiety in the back of my mind. It nags at me. It tells me that: 

i am yet not good enough

that i should never half-ass anything

that i must do everything with passion, or not at all 

that i must never stay within the confines of my comfort zone 

that i must push past my limits

that i must become the best possible version of me

This is why I am constantly so hard on myself. There is little room for failure. Now, I understand that with life successes comes failures. I understand that all of my goals, physical, emotional, and mental, will only be accomplished through trial and error. I do. I understand. BUT I am hoping that whatever failures or difficulties that life may throw at me will not come from my doing, or my negligences. I am hoping that whatever failures or difficulties that may cross my path will not be because of something I could’ve avoided myself. There is little room for failure if I want to reach my goals and become the successful, happy, healthy adult I have in mind.

That said, I am tired of this anxiety. I am tired of how sometimes I let it take over and how it makes me forget that my life is fantastic, magnificent, extraordinary, and beautiful. 

I may not be where I want and should be physically, I may not be at my athletic peak, and I may not be where I want to be intellectually, but so help me God, I will get there. I will succeed and I will thrive. one day at a time. one bad day, one good day at a time. I will do so, whilst working on my anxiety and low self-esteem. I will do so, whilst attempting to live a life in which i acknowledge my blessings, in which i do NOT neglect the beautiful people around me, in which i enrich my soul with nature’s gifts. I will remember to appreciate the little things, like the taste of coffee in the morning or a good poem. I will not let petty and negligible things, like the number on the scale or a slow workout, get in the way of my happiness. I will not. Life is more than that. 

i act like i hate america but i’m a fake all i wanna do is drive around those empty dusty roads you see in films then go to a diner with a neon sign in the middle of the night and sleep in a shit motel so i can pretend to be in a 90s road movie

This was always something I hated about Sailor Moon growing up because I was kind of a chunky kid, and I’d literally sit eating Cosmic Brownies watching this anime, listening to Luna tell Usagi to stop being a fatass. Like, fat girls are so fucking cute. Why is fat bad? Fat ladies have big soft tummies for snuggles, fat girls just have these gorgeous, beautiful rolls everywhere and their hugs are super warm and every single one of my aunts is a huge, fat, unapologetic black woman who cooks like Emeril might be stopping by you never know, and it was frustrating because fat was never bad in my family. This was the first time I learned that maybe fat wasn’t loved and celebrated and I wish it hadn’t been Sailor Moon to teach me this. Tl:dr I need to learn to draw better because after seeing this again I want to draw chubby Usagi for the rest of my damn life.

do you ever walk into a couple’s bedroom and one of them ask you to sit on their bed while they look for something but you don’t wanna sit on their nasty ass sex bed but you don’t wanna seem rude but eww you don’t wanna touch that bed it don’t matter how many times those sheets have been washed you don’t wanna touch it